#HelpMe #AbuseAtWork #ManagerProblems
So, I found out my manager is making a ridiculous $287,000 a year and yet she still finds the time to verbally abuse me on a daily basis. I mean, seriously? How is this even fair?
I’ve tried talking to HR about it, but all they give me is the same old “I’m sorry you feel this way” line without any real action being taken. Can someone please explain to me why this manager is still employed when there are 21 complaints against her? THREE people are on medical leave because of her abuse! It’s insane!
I threatened to quit, and suddenly HR is scrambling to try and fix the situation. But after several attempts, my manager is still acting like a complete psycho. What’s the next step here?
I’m at my breaking point and I don’t know what to do. Anyone been in a similar situation and have some advice? I’m considering just walking out and living off my savings at this point. Help! 🙏
#PleaseHelpMe #WorkplaceNightmare #AbuseFromManager #LostAndConfused
If you have any advice, please share! Let’s figure this out together. ❤️
Assholes get hired by other assholes to keep the good ones in line. I suggest you update your resume and look for another job.
Walk. Or hope she drops dead. Or both.
First off, sorry you have to go through this.
Second, and most unfortunately, it sounds like your only option is to get out of there; 21 complaints and 3 people out because of this person tells me the people over her aren’t going to do anything to her. Just my thoughts based on a similar situation that my wife just went through the last 2 years.
She worked a seasonal job at a well known tax preparation company. Her boss would constantly berate her, even in emails and texts so she had proof and micro manage to the point my wife gave up trying to do things on her own. This person would also ask my wife to do a specific task then get mad at her for doing that task because it “wasn’t my wife’s job” or she would tell my wife not to worry about doing X thing because my wife wasn’t supposed to or didn’t have access to the system, then get mad at my wife for not doing X thing. The manager was not fired, even after multiple customer complaints, daily complaints from my wife to the next higher manager, threats of quitting from 5 different employees over 2 offices and having 2 people actually quit who specifically stated the manager as the reason they quit. Then that manager would schedule clients for the people who quit just so they would get mad at my wife and yell at her when they showed up and she told them so-and-so didn’t work there anymore and hadn’t for over a month. To top it off, our daughter had to have surgery so my wife asked for at least that one day off and the manager’s response was “can’t your daughter just wait another month until tax season is over?” The manager finally “quit” on her own 2 weeks before the end of the season because “there was just too much drama”.
Some people either don’t care, don’t understand what they’re doing or a combo of both and the people over them are probably too afraid of repercussions if they take any action.
Look for work. Employers will see your employable because you have a job. Maybe check out the competition. See if they’d hire you. When you get something else, just don’t show up. Call them, and tell them you quit, on your way to your new job.Â
You don’t have any “rights” here, because your boss being an asshole is not against any laws. They can fire you any time, and you can leave any time. You are not entitled to keep this job, or to change your boss, or to force your boss to do anything she doesn’t want to do. The boss probably has a lot of political sway with her higher-ups, so can play the game and keep her job.
There’s one clear thing to do here: You should leave.
HR is not your friend. Please stop making compliments to HR, they will likely try and find a way to make you at fault.
Companies loves abusive managers/bosses because they can assert more pressure over the herd and get more results (or give the impression of) so HR will care fro them until they fuck up and are a liability.
1) get a different job before making any changes to this one
2) keep a trail of all/any emails you send regarding your direct manager
3) once a new job has been secured forward every bit of evidence against this manager, and all emails with HR, to the people *above* HR.
If there’s an HR, there will be an owner above them or a ceo. HR is blocking, give it to the person(s) above HR AFTER you’ve secured a new job.
She’s an abusive narcissist, she won’t change.
They will spin this on you. They also do not care in the least if you quit, you are just a cog. If you don’t like the situation you should walk.
It’s not illegal to be a bad boss. I
If you are in a state that allows it, keep your paper trail, document everything, & sue your company for toxic work environment
Get a lawyer.
HR is there to protect the company, not to protect you.
Most people don’t realize HR is not there to protect the common employee. They are there to protect upper management and the company from getting sued.
“HR keeps listening to my complaints about her but the response is “I’m so sorry you feel this way and I understand, this isn’t right and what she said was definitely no appropriate” Ok – so what’s the action? HUH? So I keep telling you at HR that she’s abusing me and then what’s the next step? They can’t seem to tell me.”
HR won’t do shit, pay a lawyer to send them a letter, it’s often not too costly. Often just the threat of legal action “unless they take serious action” will be the only thing that causes HR to fire a manager.
That is, if you want to keep working there, otherwise, just find an exit and encourage others to do the same.
Tell her to eat shit
“I’m sorry you feel that way” is such an empty statement that lacks empathy. Hopefully you can get out of this and into a better place.
The job market is really tough in some fields, but you have advantages, including your experience, currently being employed, but also being willing to GTFO if given an offer that doesn’t include working for abusive AHs.
Update your resume and be sending it out every day and often. Use up your PTO, too.
HR won’t help you, but they WILL notice if you, like others, disappear forever.
Been in the same situation and HR suggested that I look for something new. It’s a crazy world…
LPT: Only unions and lawsuits can take care of toxic managers.
Record every conversation and put her on BLAST on Twitter or somewhere, hell, take it to the local news. It could be a career-ender for sure, but if you’re feeling petty you could ruin her reputation.
I don’t condone that behavior usually, but people in power MUST be held accountable one way or another, ESPECIALLY if the company won’t do it.
If the right people saw it it could be a great way to start a lawsuit for workplace harassment.
HR works for the best interests of the company and clearly they think it’s in the best interest to have this manager working as normal.
They probably view you as the trouble maker here.
Not saying this is it but could be a possibility.
Document everything and prepare legal action.
Don’t quit, let them fire you, document everything!
Tell her to fuck off to her face that’s what I did to my manager more than once now
Sounds like a hostile work environment to me, but unsure of what state you’re in?
There is one of these at my workplace too. A true monster. There was an active investigation of her and we came slow close to getting rid of her but then the hospital transferred owners and her file went untouched for 2 years and by the time they found it and realized their mistake they were too late. The new director even called me to get more info of went happened so she could be ready if it happened again or anything like it.
The investigation was so pig that everyone working in the ER got pulled for an interview…not just her department, but everyone her or her people speak to. I’m still mad about this because I was an OG of her hate. She used to antagonize me and others daily. She was so nasty to me that HR told her she can’t even speak to me even if we are passing in a hall alone. I actually transferred departments and came back 2 years later for a promotion and the no talking rule still stands.
That woman is a monster and sounds like you have one too. I bet there is one at every work place.
I have been in a similar situation, for 16 years I never had a write up, was one of the top performers and generally well likes, but a man, UNQUALIFIED at hell, comes in a department mgr, I hate 3 right UPS in 8 months and was fired, all frivolous,I knew the company was financial trouble , so I did not fight it. 5 years later, 5 of 6 location had closed , most vendors with used to send engineers to train people , no sent 3 party company do do the same this. This so called manger I delt with was unbelievably UNQUALIFIED. I simply have no idea what to make of him. I was only one of several that was fired, but one phone call from a lawyer got me my unemployment, all my sick , time, PTO and vacation paid out. And a glowing reference
Can you record the abuse? Do you have witnesses? Lawsuit time!
It’s assholes all the way up in your company, that’s why they like her style and keep her. Psychos
Learn from this and never perform high again, just lift salary and get the fuck out. Don’t get emotionally invested and don’t give anything to these inhuman robots
Quietly look for a new job. Once everything is in writing and you get the new position, go ahead and walk away if they ask you why you left, you can tell them they know why. And go ahead and use your PTO to go to interviews as well.
There are no rights or legal issues there.
You can’t stop people from being absolute assholes.
You need to live up to your words and leave that ass of a manager dry, and bring the whole team with you if possible.
You also ALL in unison need to tell HR that the manager is the reason you all quit.
Then they will try to replace the team and not the manager, but it’ll be too late.
If you keep telling them that you’re going to quit, and then don’t quit, they will see the pattern. The abuse will continue.
You need to leave by completely blowing up her shit in a public setting in front of everyone that works there. It will get back to everyone else that you embarrassed the shit out of her and maybe they’ll take that as having the reasons you explained. Might as well go out with a bang, eh? You’ve got solid references anyway, if needed.
At that point yell back – cause a scene – let the whole fucking office know what a terrible person she is. “I don’t care who you are: I will not tolerate abuse.”
Otherwise – you have to go to her boss
Quit. You said you would if they don’t do something and they did not, so now you quit. They are calling your bluff. Now you can either tell them goodbye or tell them you are willing to accept all of this.
HR probably doesn’t have the real authority to fire her. Many HR dept’s do have that authority, but many do not. The only thing I would suggest is something along the lines of mentioning/warning HR that this constitutes a ‘hostile work environment.’ However, I would discuss with an attorney that deals with this stuff, first.
Are there any positions in the company you can move to so she’s not your manager? The ideal situation is to leave, yeah. Are there any avenues where you can have a breather (like, how is your job performance measured? Is it something you can slack off on if you’re just going to get yelled at anyway)?
My previous supervisor was like that. He would always ask me questions because he didn’t have two brain cells to rub together. He was from a different location and they didn’t like him either. When I told him I wasn’t going to train/teach him, he’d be like, “I’m not asking you to do that, I just want to know how it’s done.” And when I do cave and teach him, he’ll turn around and act like he taught me and say, “You need to know before you teach. Do you have any questions about this?” My favorite is when he called me for a 1 on 1 which, I thought, was to go over my work queue (standard). Instead, he wanted to just “get to know me”. When I said I had nothing to say and I’d like to get this project done, he said, “Oh, you’ll get to that. I guess we’ll just sit here.” And we sat there. For 20 minutes in dead silence. I don’t do well with domineering men, especially delusional domineering men. I was ready to quit. I told that to the manager and she luckily put me under a different supervisor for another group.
Hang in there. If you can coast with no blatant consequence, try that while you look for new work.
If I was making $287,000 a year I would keep my head down, my mouth shut, and hope people forgot I existed until retirement.
Maybe file a complaint with eeoc
This is what unions are for no?
Contact all the people on leave from the abuse and document document document. Get at least 70% of the people under her to stage a walk off.
Polish up that resume and find a new, and better paid position. Once you have it locked down with a contract, leave without notice. Notice is a professional courtesy, and this company has given you none. Fuck that burning bridges bullshit. May the bridges we burn today light our way forward.
>HR won’t fire them (WHY? Just WHY)
The severance they’d have to pay is going to cause someone to lose their bonus.
In 100% of cases where there’s a totally incompetent shitheel in a position of power, this is why they never see discipline.