#Divorce #EmotionalSupport #FinancialAdvisory #StartingOver
🎄 So, you just experienced a heartbreaking Christmas morning, but now you’re faced with the daunting question of “What next?” First of all, it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and lost in this situation. But remember, you’re not alone, and there are resources and options available to help you navigate through this difficult time. Let’s break it down and explore some practical steps you can take to move forward.
## Emotional Support
Dealing with a separation or divorce can take a toll on your emotional well-being. It’s essential to seek out support from friends, family, or even a professional therapist who can provide you with guidance and a listening ear during this challenging time. Don’t hesitate to lean on your support system for emotional strength and encouragement.
## Financial Assessment
As you mentioned, your income primarily comes from selling products at a weekly market, and without access to your products due to your husband leaving with them, you’re currently without any source of income. Here are a few steps you can take to assess your financial situation:
1. Take Inventory: Make a list of your assets, including any joint assets with your husband, and try to determine the best course of action for retrieving your belongings and establishing your financial independence.
2. Budgeting: Create a detailed budget to track your expenses and identify areas where you can cut costs. This will help you prioritize essential expenses and manage your finances effectively.
3. Seeking Legal Aid: Look into resources for low-cost or pro bono legal services that can assist you in understanding your rights and options regarding a divorce. It’s important to protect your interests and secure a fair settlement during this process.
## Seeking Employment Opportunities
Despite facing challenges in finding traditional employment due to your lack of recent work experience, it’s crucial to explore alternative avenues for generating income. Here are some potential options to consider:
– Freelancing: Utilize your skills and creativity to offer freelance services in areas such as writing, graphic design, or crafting. Online platforms like Upwork and Fiverr can connect you with clients seeking freelance talent.
– Entrepreneurship: If you have a passion for creating products, consider launching an online business to sell your items and reach a wider audience. E-commerce platforms like Etsy and Shopify provide opportunities for entrepreneurs to showcase their products.
– Vocational Training: Investigate vocational training programs or certifications that can enhance your employability and open doors to career opportunities in fields such as retail, hospitality, or customer service.
## Resources for Support
As a woman without children in this situation, it’s important to explore available resources that cater to your specific needs. You may find valuable assistance and support through organizations and programs tailored to women facing divorce or economic hardship. Here are a few potential resources to consider:
– Women’s Shelters: Reach out to local women’s shelters or crisis centers that offer support for individuals experiencing domestic upheaval. They can provide guidance, shelter, and access to community resources.
– Financial Assistance Programs: Research government or non-profit programs that offer financial assistance, job training, and career counseling for women in need. These programs can help you bridge the gap during this transitional period.
– Community Support Networks: Engage with community organizations, churches, or support groups that provide a network of support and resources for women navigating through divorce and financial challenges.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and seek out the support you need to rebuild your life and move forward. You have the strength and resilience to overcome this adversity and carve out a new path for yourself. While the road ahead may seem uncertain, you can take proactive steps to regain financial stability and emotional well-being. Stay strong, and know that brighter days are ahead.
Take a breath and contact a divorce attorney tomorrow. You’re not broke, if he has money so do you. The attorney will work with the money that is available to you legally.
Depending on location you’ll likely be entitled to alimony when everything is all said and done until you’re able to get back on your own feet.
NAL, but you’re entitled to some of his money if you guys get divorced. Many lawyers will agree to take their fees out of whatever you’re awarded. Sorry this is happening – it sound like it really sucks. Sending you peace this season.
Until you are divorced his money is yours. Courts do not look favorably on attempts to withhold marital assets in order to deny a lesser-earning spouse money for an attorney. I promise you, family law attorneys have seen this before.
Pull enough money out of any shared accounts that you have access to help you survive for a few months’ time. Deposit it into an account that’s only in your name at a new bank.
Speak with a few divorce attorneys in the coming week. This isn’t the first time they’ve encountered this situation and there are options to get the working spouse to pay for another spouse’s attorney.
Contact a divorce lawyer. They’ll likely be willing to take a little up front as they work for an interim spousal support situation. Note that all money held in a joint account can still be accessed by you, and is legally also your money (the exact split will be dealt with in equalization, which depends on which state you are a resident of in how it’s calculated).
Also, you’ll need to find a job ASAP. As you have no kids and no disability, there’s no obvious impediment to you finding at least a minimum wage job at near full time hours. Failure to do so may result in a finding of intentional unemployment or underemployment, and that income imputed to you for spousal support calculation purposes.
NAL but I have a friend who didn’t work outside the home for many years. When she and her husband divorced she was awarded alimony. Get yourself your own lawyer and consult with that lawyer before you start working somewhere. It may be to your benefit NOT to work right now. Talk to a lawyer asap.
As a divorce lawyer: you definitely want to find a solid divorce lawyer asap. if you need to borrow money for retainer to get a solid lawyer, it will pay dividends to have someone involved asap. don’t let your husband bully you into making agreements or start convincing you of all his rights (and your lack thereof) under the divorce laws.
Look into meditation for an easier divorce than an attorney
Former family law lawyer here (but not your lawyer) (I do “corporate breakups” now 😉
Everything I’ve read here so far is really solid advice. Don’t fret, start gathering information (bank accounts, asset lists, details of household income and what it is you do/did to support the household (all the domestic stuff, plus it sounds like you did do some income generation stuff), and generally the information that an attorney would need to understand the economic situation the two of you have been in for the last 13 years) and get it organized for a meeting with a divorce attorney this week.
Most attorneys will take the representation on because most of the time the courts will award fees and costs in a situation like you’re in. ESPECIALLY if he locked you out of the bank accounts. In fact, if he did that, you REALLY want to gather evidence of that because most courts will crucify the other party since that’s a dick move to be sure.
It really doesn’t matter a lot if you’re in a community property state or not. It matters a bit to the “how” of asset division, but should not matter **a lot** to the end result (it will affect it, but it shouldn’t affect it much.) Likewise, it doesn’t matter much if you’re in a no-fault state or not. Again, it affects the how, but not the what.
When I talk about gathering details, one area besides the straight up asset and income details, is the standard of living and nature of providing for you (though this does not always matter). Did he treat you well or poorly economically, did you eat out a lot, or get lots of gifts, do you have separate property, are there joint bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, or was he gradually planning to kick you to the curb and screw you over?
This will be some work, but you need to roll-up your sleeves and get to it since what you do now could very well set the tone for how your life goes in the next 5-10 years (or more.)
Two other things: count yourself VERY lucky about the lack of children. And start thinking now about the pets. Dogs in particular can be rather affected by situations like this.
Legal aid
you should probably get a job. I know youve had a hard time finding one, but its pretty important. You can use your money (your husbands money is yours) to get a lawyer, in fact he has to pay you for an equally good attorney, usually.
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But you need to get income. just get yourself out there
Not legal advice, but it’s worth asking friends if their employers are hiring for entry-level positions. Even with a work gap, a recommendation can go a long way to get you back into the workforce.
In at least some states in the US, your soon to be ex may be held responsible for your attorney fees as part of the final settlement/judgment. Often, the first consultation is either free or low-cost. Start making phone calls to find out your options. Don’t assume.
As others have said, a good lawyer will have seen this before and will know what can be done to help you. Don’t let embarrassment stop you. They will have likely heard your scenario multiple times and likely worse.
Note that your lawyer is not a therapist. They may seem cold and uncaring, but that is not their job. Their job is to fight to get you what you deserve.
Look for city, county, and state, & federal jobs. They may not pay the best but typically have great benefits and will hire with little to no experience. Also if you are in the correct city for your state check the IRS as they have a ton of openings right now.
Try getting a job at the local community college and or college. There should be jobs available that require a high school diploma through a bachelor’s degree. They will have decent benefits and probably free college. They have slowed or paused their hiring because of the thanksgiving and Christmas holiday seasons but will be picking up now. So, job for now to get by, and a path to something you like that will offer you meaning and purpose. Stay positive and hopeful, it will be difficult and but you are stronger than this hardship. You deserve better than him…
Depending on what state you live in, and how long you’ve been married, he will be on the hook for Alimony. To the amount that you’ll be in the lifestyle you’re accustomed to living. For example, I live in Southern AZ and have been married for a minimum of 10 years. I received alimony for 5 years. So I could get my feet under me, get my youngest into elementary, get some college done, and get back into the work force.
As far as getting hired without having had a job for significant amount of time, the only place I had luck with is Walmart. Everywhere else heard I hadn’t had a paying job in over 10 years and I watched the flip switch on their interest in me as a prospective employee. It was a PITA! Also, need to tell him to return your items from the car to you. Doesn’t matter what the items are, he doesn’t have to right to keep them, or even dispose of them. If he tries to state you need to come retrieve them, that is not considered reasonable since you do not own, rent, or have a vehicle, let alone a driver’s license. If he were to get rid or sell the items, ot will be held accountable to him in your divorce.
I’m assuming that it is a personal vehicle he is driving, not a business vehicle. You’re married. Most states are community property states. He still has to pay the rent/mortgage on your home, even if he moves out, as he is liable for that debt and things. I do not believe he is allowed to suddenly leave you financially accountable for housing.
Secondly, open a new bank account with your current bank, online. Move all the money you can from your joint account to the new account. Drain savings and checking account, that way you can pay January’s rent/mortgage payment. Keep in mind, he is entitled to half of what it in there, so make sure you keep really good records of everything you do spend after moving it.
Good luck!
Get a job. Why didn’t you try to get yourself together when he was basically with someone new? Reread what you wrote, and tell me you didn’t see this situation coming. I’m sorry, I just have a hard time feeling sorry for someone who ignored a situation until it was dire and then threw a pity party.