#RelationshipAdvice #SexWork #TrustIssues #PartnerPast #SexualHistory
When it comes to relationships, the topic of a partner’s past can be a sensitive and difficult one to navigate. Would you consider breaking up with your partner if you found out they have paid for a sex worker before they met you? It’s a question that can elicit a range of emotions and opinions. Let’s delve into this complex issue and explore the various perspectives and factors to consider.
##Understanding the Situation
Before jumping to any conclusions, it’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Keep in mind that individuals have different backgrounds and experiences that have shaped their choices and actions.
###Consider the Circumstances
1. **Timing**: Was it before or during the relationship?
2. **Context**: Was it a one-time occurrence or a pattern of behavior?
3. **Emotional State**: What prompted the decision to engage a sex worker?
##Trust and Transparency in a Relationship
Open and honest communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It’s essential to evaluate the level of trust and transparency in your relationship when discovering such information about your partner’s past.
###Building Trust
1. **Disclosure**: Is your partner forthcoming about their past actions?
2. **Reassurance**: Can your partner reassure you about their commitment to the relationship?
###Navigating Emotions
1. **Processing Feelings**: It’s natural to experience a range of emotions, including betrayal, confusion, and insecurity.
2. **Seeking Support**: Consider discussing your feelings with a trusted friend or a professional counselor.
##Personal Values and Beliefs
Individual values and beliefs play a significant role in how one would respond to the revelation of a partner’s past involvement with a sex worker. It’s important to reflect on your own values and assess their impact on your decision-making.
###Exploring Values
1. **Sexuality**: How does your perspective on sex and intimacy influence your stance on this issue?
2. **Morality**: What ethical considerations come into play for you?
###Reconciling Differences
1. **Navigating Discrepancies**: How do you and your partner’s values align or diverge on this topic?
2. **Compromise**: Is there room for finding common ground and understanding?
##Health and Safety Considerations
In light of the prevalence of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and the potential risks associated with engaging with sex workers, it’s crucial to consider the implications for your health and well-being.
###Prioritizing Health
1. **Transparency**: Have both partners undergone STI testing and discussed their sexual history?
2. **Seeking Medical Guidance**: It may be beneficial to consult a healthcare professional for advice and testing.
##Moving Forward
Upon deep reflection and consideration of the various facets of the situation, it’s time to make a decision regarding the future of the relationship.
###Communication and Decision-Making
1. **Honest Conversations**: Have open and candid discussions with your partner about your feelings and concerns.
2. **Assessing Compatibility**: Reflect on whether your values, outlooks, and expectations align for a sustainable relationship.
###Professional Support
1. **Counseling and Therapy**: Consider seeking the guidance of a couples’ therapist to navigate the complexities of the situation.
2. **Self-Care**: Focus on your own well-being and self-care, regardless of the outcome of your decision.
In conclusion, the discovery of a partner’s past engagement with a sex worker can pose significant challenges for a relationship. Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue the relationship should align with your values, emotional well-being, and long-term compatibility. It’s essential to approach the situation with empathy, open communication, and a focus on personal and mutual growth. Each individual’s journey of navigating this delicate issue will be unique, and seeking support from trusted sources can aid in making an informed decision. Remember that your feelings and concerns are valid, and prioritizing your well-being is paramount in any relationship.
That would depend on how they view sex workers. If they treated them as anything less than individuals just doing their job, it would be over.
That’s a deal breaker for me, so the relationship would very likely be entirely over. I don’t consider that an ethical choice, so it matters to me.
Of course not. Sex work is a valid service to pay for. I have many friends who are sex workers, and have done online sex work myself and have even paid for sexual services myself before; it would be hypocritical and pointless for me to get angry over something like this. I’ll reserve my anger for things that are actually bad.
Depends on how he views the sex worker and experience, how he views sex work at a whole, and i might feel weird for a minute. But if he respects the person and profession, but doesnt plan another round while we are together then we’re good
Yes I would break up, I couldn’t be with someone who thinks a woman’s body can be purchased. There’s also no way to verify if she was consenting so he could be a rapist.
A few men I know paid for sex workers at some point in their lives because they wanted the same situation as a one night stand, but didn’t have the skills or desire to go pick someone up at a bar or through dating apps. I don’t judge it. It’s a valid reason to pay for sex.
I’d still continue a relationship with someone if I learned they had done this, but of course, I’d want an STI test before having sex with them.
Probably. Our morals don’t align.
Yes I would break up. They would simply have different views on intimacy than I. So, our values in regard to sex would be different.
Yes, I would end the relationship.
There are too many people who get into sex work due to desperation or manipulation (or trafficked!), and that desperation would certainly make them lie about it if asked.
The fact my partner either a) wouldn’t consider that or b) would consider it and disregard it is pretty disgusting.
Which is also one of the reasons I really dislike porn. A person has absolutely no idea if the porn they are watching was uploaded with both party’s consent.* Even some professional porn actresses have come out saying they felt pressured, desperate for the work, or manipulated into producing that content. That’s horrifying to me.
*I don’t have any issue with fictional porn like art, hentai, or novels.
Nope. He’s for the street.
No, sex work is work. If we can agree on that and he’s not demeaning towards the job and the person there’s no reason for me to end it.
Possibly. I don’t have an ethical objection to it, but I do find it a bit “icky”.
Before me? no. feels like thats got nothing to do with me. Like sure on a moral basis i might be a lil iffy but it doesnt really affect me.
As long they never did any serious inhumane crimes their past doesnt really affect my judgement of them. At least not on a superficial level
Is this a joke..?
It would be a huge thing for me to get past, but if A) it was something that happened once many years ago, B) he views it as a mistake he regrets making, and C) we’d already been together a while, I would probably not end the relationship. But any of these factors not being present is gonna be a problem.
I happen to believe it’s unethical to buy sex, on top of the fact that it’s simply impossible to be sure that whoever you’re buying it from is there of their own volition, and being okay with the possibility of partaking in trafficking is a pretty fucking big problem.
tl;dr it’s extremely unlikely I wouldn’t end the relationship, but not impossible
Edit: why is this getting downvoted lol, sorry for answering the question?
No way. I used to be in the porn industry. Everyone called me “the editor”
It depends, full-blown sex, deal breaker. If you got a happy ending at a massage traveling in your 20s, whatever.
No, but I’d look at em a little differently.
No, it was in the past and as long as it wasn’t a regular thing. But I might suggest getting tested together😅
Nope! Sex work is real work. Someone has to pay them.
No. As long as it was done safely, it’s not something that would bother me.
I would definitely break up. Women’s bodies are not commodities.
My boyfriend did pay for a sex worker years before he met me.
It was before we met. I don’t rly care.
As long as he respects the trade and was safe then I have no issue with it.
I am open to him paying for one while we’re together. But communication about it is key.
This is a question I would ask before I’d even consider considering a relationship with someone. It simply would never even get that far without me asking that exact question. I wouldn’t be interested in starting a relationship with a person, sexual or otherwise, if the answer was yes. My reasoning is sexual health.
Nope. I live in a country where sex work is legal.
It’s not a big deal .
nah I’m fine with it. It’s legal here.
It’s fine, but it would be a dealbreaker if he had a destructive addictive personality. Addiction to sex, spending, alcohol/drugs, etc.
I would definitely consider it though whether or not I would go through with it depends on the details and their stance. I don’t think you can put a price tag on consent and if they do, we might not be compatible. And IMO it’s better to be alone than with someone you don’t match with
Not in the slightest.
It’s part of their sexual history just like previous partners, one night stands, make outs at the back of a party in year 9 etc. etc.
Also, people visit sex workers for a multitude of reasons including mobility and access limitations, exploration of sexual identity and preferences, and even completely hands-off entertainment
In the context of this question does paying for porn (which would be far and away the most ethical and best practice approach to limit exploitation, copyright concerns and abuse) constitute paying a sex worker? Is that a dealbreaker for people or are just the “sex” and touching elements the problem?
No, he paid sex worker for a cuddle and he left and I didn’t see it was a bad thing, he was so lonely. I feel bad for him instead of mad
difficcult Question.
probably yes.
94% of sex workers/prostitutes don’t do it on a 100% voluntary basis. Chances are high that he paid for non-consensual sex, since it’s the standard in the industry. Here in Germany we have a huge huge problem with foreign women being brought to germany, their documents taken away and them being “trained and sold” to customers in brothels or on the street. The amount of underage girls and minors in the system really frightens me.
A man who knows this and still choses to go would make me very uncomfortable.
No does not bother me at all
Yes, because I only date and have sex for marriage and would expect the same from my partner. I don’t want a lust fueled partner. Also risk of STDS :(.
Yes, he and I don’t share morals or values.
I wouldn’t break up if he treated them with respect and if he used protection. What and who he did before me has no relation to me, if it wasn’t criminal or a health hazard.
I’ve been with my wife for 8 years now, she’s the woman carrying our little girl. She’s brought more happiness to my life than any other person I’ve ever met. I would never, never trade that just because she saw a sex worker before I met her.
No. Paying a sex worker does not make someone terrible. If he degraded them, was shitty then yes. But just having paid a sex worker, no
Yes I’d end the relationship
Nope. No way. Nothing to do with morals and values. Sex workers provide a service that for some, is very definitely needed. People go to sex workers for a myarid of reasons, and I would never judge a person for making the choice to see one. It’s time to change the stigma surrounding sex workers, its archaic and outdated.
If it was before me, I couldn’t care less. I’d probably be weirded out if he told me, but I’d get over it.
Nope. But I was also an escort so. I would definitely be getting tested cause I know how much guys wanna pay for sex and I know the kind of girls who charge those prices, but it wouldn’t be a deciding factor.