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How can I overcome the hardships life has given me?
You can call or text 988 for support. I have had these thoughts myself. It helps me knowing I’m not alone in feeling this way. There are SO many people who feel ALONE in the same way, it’s pretty ironic. I truly just try and get by day by day currently. It helps me knowing we can rewire our brains.Read more
You can call or text 988 for support. I have had these thoughts myself. It helps me knowing I’m not alone in feeling this way. There are SO many people who feel ALONE in the same way, it’s pretty ironic. I truly just try and get by day by day currently. It helps me knowing we can rewire our brains. Also, it helps me knowing these thoughts are not mine but a trauma response. I have gotten some relief knowing that I can release personal attachment to them. I now try not to resist my feelings but notice them and allow myself to feel them and let it pass. Also, opening up to people I know about my struggles has helped.
See lessAre controlling parents ruining your life with no escape?
Loving parents don't use coercion to get their kids to do stuff but instead raise their children to live and think independently even if it means losing their influence. You're not being ungrateful. Gifts and good things that come with strings attached aren't gifts at all they are merely manipulatinRead more
Loving parents don’t use coercion to get their kids to do stuff but instead raise their children to live and think independently even if it means losing their influence.
You’re not being ungrateful. Gifts and good things that come with strings attached aren’t gifts at all they are merely manipulating you for their own pleasure under the guise of helping you.
As long as you are a puppet being controlled by your parents you don’t actually have anything that is truly yours so whatever they are giving you is in some way corrupted and intended for their selfish benefit not yours.
See less“Are you ruining your own life and feeling the effects of it?”
I always think as long as you don’t have any addictions, a roof over your head, and have a decent morale compass - you’re doing all right.
I always think as long as you don’t have any addictions, a roof over your head, and have a decent morale compass – you’re doing all right.
See lessFeeling behind at 23? What did you wish you did?
I’m 30 and have finally realized that life isn’t going to pan out according to your will. There will be lots of unexpected unfortunate events along the way but you have to keep going. You just have to do your best and roll with the punches. I used to freak out and get upset over everything. It didn’Read more
I’m 30 and have finally realized that life isn’t going to pan out according to your will. There will be lots of unexpected unfortunate events along the way but you have to keep going. You just have to do your best and roll with the punches. I used to freak out and get upset over everything. It didn’t get me to where I want to be.
I feel like I’m actually better off now. I’m less anxious and stressed. I have bipolar 2 and a chronic movement disorder. I can freak and get upset because life didn’t go the way I wanted or I can just live in the moment and be grateful for what I have. Your 20s are a sucky time. It seems like everyone has it together. They don’t. There’s no time clock on life. If you have a job, your health, and can wake up and be productive every day, you’re fine. It’s not that bad.
See lessIs feeling lost just the beginning?
Everything in its own season, and in its own time
Everything in its own season, and in its own time
See less“What are the key steps in a 5-year plan for lost young men?”
Regardless of it being geared toward men, I've bookmarked this because there's so much you give that I'm sure I, a woman, can find value in the information. (Also I'm at work and it's a lot to read so I'll be reading it at home.)
Regardless of it being geared toward men, I’ve bookmarked this because there’s so much you give that I’m sure I, a woman, can find value in the information. (Also I’m at work and it’s a lot to read so I’ll be reading it at home.)
See less“Does lacking a big goal cause a wandering mind?”
well, first, there's no such thing as not having a goal, your mind will always make up one, as its primary purpose is problem solving. your life will NEVER be free of problems. as soon as you embrace this, you can have a huge relief, you don't have to fight for a non-existent state of mind anymore (Read more
well, first, there’s no such thing as not having a goal, your mind will always make up one, as its primary purpose is problem solving. your life will NEVER be free of problems. as soon as you embrace this, you can have a huge relief, you don’t have to fight for a non-existent state of mind anymore (which paradoxically feels kind of like being carefree). funnily enough, your current goal, the problem in this case (because of your mind lacking a better one) is the need to satisfy other people’s need of you having a goal.
second, congratulations, you’re on your way to growing up. it’s okay to feel like the opinion and expectations of you parents and friends matter, it’s okay to feel like you want to break free from them too. do you wanna know how you can? by conscious decision-making of not caring about it. no, it’s not easy at all, also, if you truly get there, it’s scary, because you’re going to feel like you’re on your own in this whole wide world and the truth is, you really are. nobody can sort your life out for you, nothing’s gonna fall in your lap and you have to build a comfortable life for yourself. but the upside is, it comes with your absolute freedom, you’re free to do whatever you want. however responsibility includes your feelings as well, for example how you feel about your relationship with your parents depends on you. even if you feel like you let them down by “closing them out”, eventually you’ll see they will not worry about you anymore, because they’ll see you have taken the leap to take responsibility for yourself and you can maintain a healthy adult relationship with them.
See less“23 F, Is joining the military right for me?”
Do it, I'm 27 I wish I'd done it while I had the chance. Time passes and the only thing lost is opportunity. It's better to regret actions vs inaction because you at least don't have to wonder what if and you'll always know you were strong enough to make the choice regardless , and can take that expRead more
Do it, I’m 27 I wish I’d done it while I had the chance. Time passes and the only thing lost is opportunity. It’s better to regret actions vs inaction because you at least don’t have to wonder what if and you’ll always know you were strong enough to make the choice regardless , and can take that experience to the next opportunity.
See less“Is life in the US better than Eastern Europe for battling depression?”
It’s expensive to be poor in America but it’s an amazing place to be upper middle class and up.
It’s expensive to be poor in America but it’s an amazing place to be upper middle class and up.
See lessFeeling lost at 34, living for others, don’t know my purpose. How can I find it with funds and support?
You've fallen backwards into your life for a long time. The job your friend got you. The degree path your parents chose. You've been afraid to take the wheel. It's understandable. Life presents us with endless choices and it is paralyzing. The thing you gotta decide is whether you will leave your coRead more
You’ve fallen backwards into your life for a long time. The job your friend got you. The degree path your parents chose. You’ve been afraid to take the wheel. It’s understandable. Life presents us with endless choices and it is paralyzing. The thing you gotta decide is whether you will leave your comfort zone or stay in it. Take the wheel or be driven. People go from the cradle to the grave following, following, following. I should know as I’ve been guilty of the same.
Eventually you have to realize that your life has been an accumulation of trauma and fear and that there is actually nothing wrong with that, you can live an entire life that way and even a successful one, but it won’t be a satisfying life to you personally.
I recommend trauma therapy if you have access to it. With the pet, you’ve learned a lesson, which is how limiting they can be on your freedom, so consider that carefully with any future pets. I’ve known many people who have gotten themselves very stuck due to pets.
Learn from the failed relationship and find a better partner. They’re out there.
You actually know many of the answers to your predicament, but you just have to reorient your self image as someone who can start deciding the direction of their life on their own.
See lessShould I travel at 30 to reset my life and find meaning?
Hello there. If you are to the point of ending your life then how can you go wrong with trying something different? Go travel, pick grapes in Italy, go work as a farmhand in Australia, go teach English in Brazil, go do an apprenticeship in woodworking in Poland. I do speak from experience when I sayRead more
Hello there. If you are to the point of ending your life then how can you go wrong with trying something different? Go travel, pick grapes in Italy, go work as a farmhand in Australia, go teach English in Brazil, go do an apprenticeship in woodworking in Poland.
See lessI do speak from experience when I say that traveling and working different jobs to support myself doing so was absolutely worth it. I stayed in Australia for a year working in a hostel, as a farmhand, cleaning up rainforest, etc.
I lived in Iceland and worked on a farm, at a hostel and as a bartender ( beer and whiskey and coke is the same everywhere).
What you will learn is that every work that supports yourself is dignified and you learn to adjust as you go from place to place.
How can one truly change their life for the better instead of making excuses and complaining?
It's about making small steps that move you forward. Change is a process not an event. Personally I find motivation from the personal motto stagnation is death. It's always kept me looking and moving forwards.
It’s about making small steps that move you forward. Change is a process not an event. Personally I find motivation from the personal motto stagnation is death. It’s always kept me looking and moving forwards.
See less“Are you struggling to find success without a clear goal in mind?”
Nah for me it's more like that I'm not genetically gifted. Im neither good looking nor am I smart or intelligent enough to become successful
Nah for me it’s more like that I’m not genetically gifted. Im neither good looking nor am I smart or intelligent enough to become successful
See less“Have I wasted 30 years of my life?”
If you're stalled out and have stopped interacting with people, theres minimal chance that someone will randomly hand you a business idea, job offer, date, Saturday plan or whatever. So much of life is just responding to whats in front of you and getting lucky. Depressed people are exposed to less rRead more
If you’re stalled out and have stopped interacting with people, theres minimal chance that someone will randomly hand you a business idea, job offer, date, Saturday plan or whatever.
So much of life is just responding to whats in front of you and getting lucky. Depressed people are exposed to less reality and therefore less randomness and therefore roll the dice on fewer opportunities. That’s why depression is a spiral. The less you do, the worse it gets.
The way to exploit for gain is sometimes called [increasing your luck surface area](https://jamesclear.com/quotes/you-can-increase-your-surface-area-for-good-luck-by-taking-action), and what it basically amounts to is: You need to be doing stuff for luck to find you. The more exposed you are to the potential for random events, the more will happen.
CRITICALLY you also need to cultivate a positive happy curious mood, because otherwise you’ll be in your miserable thoughts and won’t even notice it. You don’t get a random fun conversation if you’re in a filthy mood.
Anyway, that’s one idea for digging out. Hope you feel better soon
See lessHow can I stop delaying and start getting things done?
You alone are in control of your actions. You make yourself.
You alone are in control of your actions.
You make yourself.
See lessIs fear and anxiety taking over my life at 27?
You’re so scared you provided no details at all in the post , so no one can guide you. What were your three goals? Did you work at all in the last six years? Do you have hobbies?
You’re so scared you provided no details at all in the post , so no one can guide you. What were your three goals? Did you work at all in the last six years? Do you have hobbies?
See less