#Empowerment #SelfLove #PersonalGrowth #StandingUpForYourself
🌟 When was the moment you learned to stand up for yourself? 🌟
Learning to stand up for yourself is a crucial milestone in personal growth and self-empowerment. It’s a journey that often begins with a single moment of clarity or realization. In this article, we’ll explore the importance of standing up for yourself, share examples of empowering moments, and provide tips on how to assert yourself confidently in various situations.
### Why is standing up for yourself important?
Standing up for yourself is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries, boosting self-esteem, and fostering positive relationships. Here are some key reasons why learning to assert yourself is crucial:
1. **Self-respect:** When you stand up for yourself, you demonstrate self-respect and self-worth. By setting boundaries and asserting your needs, you communicate to others that you value yourself.
2. **Empowerment:** Asserting yourself empowers you to take control of your life and make choices that align with your values and goals. It can help you overcome fear and build confidence in your abilities.
3. **Conflict resolution:** Standing up for yourself effectively can help resolve conflicts and prevent resentment from building up. It allows you to address issues directly and communicate openly with others.
### Examples of empowering moments
Here are some inspiring examples of moments when individuals learned to stand up for themselves and assert their boundaries:
1. **In a toxic relationship:** Tanya realized that her partner was manipulating and controlling her. She stood up for herself by ending the relationship and prioritizing her own happiness.
2. **At work:** Mike spoke up to his boss about unfair treatment and was able to negotiate for a promotion and salary increase. By asserting himself, he gained respect from his colleagues and improved his job satisfaction.
3. **With family:** Sarah set boundaries with her toxic family members and limited contact with them to protect her mental health. Standing up for herself allowed her to prioritize her well-being and find peace.
### Tips for standing up for yourself
Here are some practical tips to help you assert yourself confidently in various situations:
1. **Know your values:** Clarify your values and beliefs to guide your actions and decisions. Understanding what is important to you will make it easier to stand up for yourself authentically.
2. **Practice assertive communication:** Use “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings clearly without blaming others. Practice assertiveness in everyday interactions to build confidence in asserting yourself.
3. **Set boundaries:** Clearly define your boundaries and communicate them to others. Be firm in enforcing your boundaries and prioritize your well-being over others’ demands.
4. **Seek support:** Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who encourage you to stand up for yourself. Seek professional help if necessary to build assertiveness skills and address underlying issues.
### Conclusion
Learning to stand up for yourself is a journey that requires self-awareness, courage, and practice. By asserting yourself confidently and setting boundaries, you can navigate relationships, work, and life with greater autonomy and self-respect. Remember that standing up for yourself is a powerful act of self-care and self-love. Embrace your voice, trust your instincts, and advocate for your needs to live authentically and boldly. Stand tall, speak up, and claim your power. The world is waiting for you to shine.
For me, it happened at work. I worked as a nurse in an ICU, and I used to kind of take verbal abuse from patients/their family members in stride as “part of the job” and excused it as “they/their loved one is sick.” But one day I got a little short with one of the patients, they were being incredibly rude, just yelling/screaming at me, their family was too. All I said was “please don’t speak to me that way” and walked out to cool off. They immediately demanded to speak to my manager. She happened to be walking by, heard the commotion and went in to speak to them. They continued to be nasty to her and spoke about me in such a degrading way, I was just outside the room, listening and wishing I would’ve just kept my mouth shut. But once they finished their tirade, she just waited a few seconds and said “WELL!…I trust my nurses completely. And it seems like she should’ve said MORE to you. Because BELIEVE ME, if I was the nurse, you would’ve heard a LOT more from MY mouth, oh NO, we just do NOT speak to my staff that way, oh NO NO NO!” And just strolled right out.
I was completely in awe! I remember I almost cried from how grateful I was to her and realized I could do what she did. It took me a few years but I very rarely take shit from people. I also channel my now retired former manager. We had a patient screaming at one of the nurses and I simply walked into the room, grabbed her by the arm and said “OKAAAYYYY! We’re done with this nonsense! We don’t yell at staff here! So we’re going to leave, I’m shutting the door, and we’ll come back once you’ve had a chance to calm down and work on an apology” and did just that. Felt fuckin good.
After years of allowing mistreatment anger became a part of me and since then it’s never went away. My anger helps me stand up for myself without it people would run all over me but not anymore my anger fixed that.
Especially with my parents I helped my sister get her license my parents were being assholes toxic and selfish. Mocking my sister and couldn’t say they were proud of her. I had already lost everything in life that was important to me so I had no fucks to give and me and my parents had it out.
My mom and dad started their bs and I wanted to protect my siblings the best I could so I stood up for them told my parents tf off. It took one thing coming out of my mom’s mouth that set me off she said specifically maybe he was right there is something wrong with you.
I blacked out at that point on my mom I only remember screaming at her telling her off calling her a pos and telling her since she don’t want to be a fucking parent I will and I’ll be better then she could ever be as a parent.
Idk what it was but my parents straightened up real quick after that and my mom is the type to fight and be a bully with scare tactics and idk what it was but she didn’t say a word to me she just looked me in the eyes while I was in her face showing her I’m not scared of her. That was the first time my mom ever went silent in her life it surprised me a lot.
As I got older I became more confident in myself. Also, I’ve gotten tired of being a pushover my entire life.
Right after my miscarriage.
I realized that I matter too and if I was ever going to bring a child into this world I was not going to allow them to see me taking shit because I wany to be ‘nice’
When I realized my boss and colleagues were walking all over me and I’m the only one who can take care of myself.
My sister and I were very competitive and often physically fought. She was still protective of me when it came to others though.
I was being bullied in 3rd grade and was afraid of getting in trouble for fighting but that also meant I was getting hit all the time. After my sister helped me chase off some shitheads in the neighborhood who were messing with me she grabbed my shoulders and all she said was “we don’t have the same recess.” I didn’t get what she was talking about until the next week when my bully threw a ball at my face and suddenly I got it. I had no one at recess who would defend me from this girl so I had to. When she tried it again I punched her and when she fell I grabbed her by the hair and swung her around
I’m still learning. Learning to stand up for myself looks to be a process more than a moment. I’ve stood up for myself plenty times, then suddenly I find myself in a new and unfamiliar situation realising this is another area I need to become more aware of and start to stand up on. Learning is a blessing
The year 2021 – IYKYK
When i had said yes to a work project with high stakes, both personally and professionally, where the manager knew i didn’t understand the scope of what i signed up for.
When i was on my 30th consecutive 15h+ day, trying to devour a pizza in 7 minutes in the dark cafeteria at 3 in the night on a Tuesday. That’s when i learnt nothing is worth stressing over. I was a mat until then, now i do what i must and never ever more. work life balance above all else.
edit: im in the wrong sub, didn’t realize. soz.
The moment I realised that no one would do it for me, and if someone did, they would be getting in the way of my own development.
When my abusive ex finally physically assaulted me. Something just snapped and I pushed her to the ground with one hand. She was so shocked that I’d fought back. I called the cops, she was arrested, and I ended up applying for a Protection Order against her.
Once a man finally showed me a sign of lying and disrespect I could ignore or be delusional about. I was out and I’ll never do it again.
This one took me sooo long. Might’ve been after I was newly married and then freshly pregnant. My new SIL heard the plan was for me to stay home because I’d never had a baby and was not excited about spending my income on daycare, and my clothes/lunches. She came to me and said “Good, you can watch everyone’s kids.” They were a family of 12 and most had at least 3 kids. Their mom did nothing but watch kids, so.. made sense I guess. I immediately said Um, no.. I won’t be doing that. I need time to get used to having a house and this baby of my own. ( I was 18.)
No one moment, more like a series of standing up for myself for smaller things over the course of a several months, culminating in standing up to a bully at work. That ‘moment’ wouldn’t have been possible without the other smaller times before it.
When I was 7, in 1st grade, it was a thing to trade stickers with other students. I was often pressured into trading stickers I didn’t want to let go of, and regretted it bitterly.
One day I realized that when someone was insisting on something I didn’t want to agree to, **all I had to do was insist harder until they gave up**. Simple as that.
Changed my life.
Becoming a mom and thereby being forced to my limits, baby needs mom, so mom needs to keep existing and functioning (mombod).
Happened about one year ago. My now soon-to-be-ex-husband made a comment that was so utterly ridiculous:
*I’m not as lucky as other students and I don’t have the same level of privilege as other students!*
This man was:
– A) Not working
– B) Living in a 4,200+ sq ft house paid for entirely by ME
– C) Hadn’t been contributing to household responsibilities in any capacity for several years
– D) His education was being funded entirely by the government
– E) He was receiving a paycheck while in school, to the tune of several thousand $ per month, which he was contributing $0 of to bills
I was bringing home ALL the bacon, AND I was handling 99% of household chores and responsibilities, AND enduring his abuse and issues with a smile on my face, while also simultaneously dealing with chemotherapy, monthly immunotherapy infusions, and surgery after surgery for my autoimmune condition. Up until that point, and for eight years before that, I had quietly put up with his abuse and issues. But this was the first true, genuine ‘sign’ or ‘inkling’ that my backbone was starting to sloooooowly grow.
The aforementioned comment kicked off a quiet cascade of me starting to stand up for myself. I called him out on it, which was the first time I stood up for myself in eight years.
*I don’t think you realize just HOW lucky and privileged you are. You aren’t having to put yourself into tens of thousands of dollars of debt for your education, and unlike most students, you also aren’t having to work a minimum wage job in order to keep a roof over your head. Someone else is paying all your bills, you have 24/7 access to a pantry full of food, and you’re even receiving a paycheck while you’re attending school. You are FAR more privileged than you realize.*
He knew he couldn’t say anything back, so he just squirmed and fumed in silence as he sat there.
About two months later, he made yet another interesting, eye-opening comment:
*D**m, we’ve been fighting more the past few months, than we ever have in our eight years of marriage.*
I stood there in silence. My brain:
*No, dips**t, this isn’t fighting. This is me just finally starting to stand up to your BS, after eight years of letting you treat me like a doormat.*
BOOM. Within the next six-ish months, I left, and we’re now getting divorced. I’m still learning how to stand up for myself, it’s a work in progress, but I’m making progress! Feels good to slowly be developing self-confidence.
When I started to get more self-confidence a few years ago. My friends, family, and romantic relationships had very few occasions in which someone would actually defend me or stand up for me when it was needed. So I figured I really only have myself.
I still struggle with this. I’m better than I was in High School, for more reasons than one, but its still really hard sometimes.
When I realized that a person can make me feel bad and they’re unashamed about it and I should do the same (back) because it’s not fair to always be walked all over on. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
i was thinking of doing it for long but could never do that until yesterday
In college when I was dating!
Probably at some point in toddlerhood. Those strategies we develop to cope with trauma early on in life become such a big part of our personalities. I’m nearly 50 and have had tons of therapy but I still sometimes come across as aggressive when championing my own POV.
No particular moment but with age it became much easier.