Hey there! 🤗 Have you ever heard the saying “Nice guys finish last”? It’s a common phrase that often gets thrown around when discussing dating and relationships. But what do you think about it? Do you believe that being a nice guy means you’ll always come in last place?
##Breaking Down the Myth
Let’s take a closer look at this idea of “Nice guys finish last”. The theory behind it is that nice guys are often overlooked in favor of more assertive or aggressive individuals. But is this really true? 🤔
###Debunking the Myth
Research actually shows that kindness and compassion are highly valued traits in a partner. In fact, studies have found that both men and women prefer kind and caring individuals over those who are rude or aggressive.
###The Power of Kindness
Being a nice guy not only benefits your relationships but also your overall well-being. Kindness has been linked to lower levels of stress, improved mood, and even a longer lifespan. So, in reality, nice guys don’t finish last – they win in the long run!
##Actionable Advice
If you’ve been second-guessing your niceness because of this myth, don’t fret! Here are some actionable steps you can take to embrace your kindness and attract the right people into your life:
– Practice self-compassion and embrace your unique qualities
– Set boundaries and communicate your needs effectively
– Surround yourself with supportive and like-minded individuals
##Final Thoughts
In conclusion, don’t let the idea of “Nice guys finish last” discourage you. Your kindness is a valuable trait that will attract the right people into your life. Remember, being true to yourself and treating others with respect will always be a winning combination. Keep being kind, and you’ll see that nice guys actually come out on top! 💪✨
It’s a stupid and bitter saying most commonly spouted by those who were never nice at all regardless of their relative successes or failures.
It confuses nice with basic human decency. Hard truth for men to swallow is if you’re ACTUALLY nice, you’re better than 50% of men.
Problem is being nice means more than just general, base level human kindness. You need to be reliable, you need to be dependable, and you need to be consistent! Yes, I did steal this from Bojack Horseman. Sue me.
…but yeah, like Bojack himself said that’s actually really hard… fuck, even I can’t really do that.
Most guys who say they are nice guys aren’t
Any guy who says that isn’t actually nice.
Guy’s that call themselves nice usually aren’t and they “finish last” because the nice act quickly falls apart
I believe it from a business or political standpoint but not from a relationship standpoint.
Whiney bullshit.
It’s probably true in business, although it depends on the business. Unfortunately being cutthroat can get you far (as evidenced by people like Bezos).
But in a romantic or sexual context? This phrase is usually invoked by guys who *think* they’re nice but are actually viewing women as prizes they’re entitled to.
I don’t know any women who prefer dating assholes over people who are kind, caring, and compassionate. Sometimes guys assume that being this way would make them seem too soft or unmasculine, but that’s their own biases and self-imposed limitations coming up. It is fully, 100% possible to be a strong, masculine person who is also kind, caring, and compassionate.
I had guy friends who believed this when I was younger. And they talked about their dates, that they were nice on dates, very gentlemany but the girls weren’t giving them a second chance.
But what they failed to recognize is women don’t want a “yes man” or a doormat. They WANT a nice guy as a baseline.
You still need other qualities: confidence, your own opinions, etc..
I believe a lot of “nice guys” tend to be people pleasers on dates, and for women it comes off desperate or unconfident.
Of course maybe some women, especially younger women like toxicity and rollercoaster relationships. But most women do like nice guys, you just need to have personality than just being nice.
“Leo Durocher is best remembered for saying, “Nice guys finish last.” He never said it. What the Brooklyn Dodgers’ manager did say, before a 1946 game with the New York Giants, was: “The nice guys are all over there. In seventh place.” Durocher’s words lacked pizzazz. Sportswriters perked them up, and gave America one of its most familiar misquotations.”
The context is baseball lol, losers just like repeating this as a mantra to either justify being a disagreeable character or to whine while making themselves feel good about themselves. “I’m unsuccessful, must be because I’m a good person” is one hell of a cope lol
I think nice guys/gals can be therapeutic to those who have been subjected to a lot of abuse in the past. Some might argue that they’re usually the ones you find when you’re looking for a stable relationship and when you have already decided that you want to settle down so I guess there’s some truth in it.
“Nice guy” to me either means someone who’s personality is so bland their entire identity is being nice or they think that by being nice they’re entitled to things. In both cases I can see them “finishing last”.
Guys who say that tend to have a notion that niceness isn’t something basic that everyone should do, it’s a form of currency that buys them things they want like attention and pussy. They don’t actually want to be nice, they want to be rewarded for acting like basic human beings.
You finish last if you waste your time on people not interested in you. It’s crazy how you get more partners and attention when you focus on people actually attracted to you
My thoughts are that women are not a one-dimensional monolithic unit with identical preferences.
And that “nice” is not an aspiration nor an accomplishment guys should expect to be rewarded for. Nice is the bare minimum. It’s neutral. Polite and pleasant isn’t the goal. It should be the starting point.
Self-proclaimed nice guys are usually entitled creeps who were only “nice” because they thought it would earn them sexual and/or romantic favor with a woman.
That nice girls also finish last*
*Nice as the operative word. Actually nice. Too nice. Not sneaky, entitled ‘nice’.
Bullshit
Made up by men who need an excuse for why he was turned down or not popular enough with women
I feel like guys who say this claiming to be nice guys aren’t. They’re just mad when they don’t get their way. Actual nice guys work for what they want and treat people with respect. They don’t “finish last”. They get what they work for, just like anyone else. And don’t make excuses.
So called nice guys often have some pretty hardcore internalized misogyny going on: entitlement, transactional views on kindness, can’t empathize worth shit on a romantic level and/or are fake AF and often not even realizing it. People tend to pick up on it, so they finish last. It should.
Don’t be a nice guy, be a good guy.
Naive guys can easily get taken advantage of.
Untrustworthy guys can do well (as long as their business doesn’t rely on long term trust)
Highly competent, non naive, trustworthy guys can do very well (because everyone wants to work with them, they get all the best opportunities)
If someone has to tell you they are anything be that “nice guy”, “Christian”, “generous” etc. It’s because you’d never know it from their actions which suggests to me that they aren’t actually displaying the characteristics they believe they are.
Actual nice guys do well. Men who tell you that they are a “nice guy” do less so.
I’m male. Being nice means having good character. What we call “nice guys” are not nice. They act a certain way to get what they want through a covert contract. It’s a form of manipulation. A nice man helps a fellow female classmate with her homework because he’s a generous guy. A nice guy helps her with her homework and tries to be her friend in hopes he can get in her pants later
I sure hope that these ‘nice guys’ have ‘boundaries’.
It’s true if they’re talking about sex! 🤣
I thought “nice guys finish last” was about sex — meaning nice guys give their partner an orgasm first.
Am I the only one who thought that lol?
The reason nice guys typically finish last is because nice guys generally tend to have low self-esteem and have trouble being themselves and being confident, which is the kiss of death when dating. I’m one of those guys and I’m currently trying to work on improving myself. I wouldn’t say all people who call themselves nice guys are assholes but I would say that many of them have low self-esteem which can sometimes contribute to some of them being assholes due to feeling jaded. Not making an excuse for shitty behavior of course.
I thought it was a sexual quote?
i think it’s weird how it constantly gets applied to dating when that’s not really the meaning of the saying… i agree with its original meaning, which is that people who can’t advocate for themselves or care more about being nice than anything else are doing so at their own detriment at the end of the day
Let’s give the nice guy the benefit of doubt and say he’s actually nice and actually getting turned down by women who like assholes. If these women chose assholes knowing they’re assholes, doesn’t that imply that the woman has poor judgment or limited exposure or is perhaps toxic in relationships (you accept the love you think you deserve)? Why would this nice guy even want to pursue a woman like that? And if she chose then thinking they’re nice guys, then they ARE choosing “nice guys” and there’s just no way to tell a nice guy from an asshole in the early stages of a relationship when the choosing occurs.
It’s rubbish. Men spew it to try to guilt trip women into settling for them.
Also they aren’t “nice” guys, they just use that phrase to gain a pity-party when they aren’t decent people to begin with. Gaslighters.
The guys who go around saying it, usually aren’t a nice guy. They do “nice things”, sure, but they expect something in return, and often they expect it to be sexual.
There’s a huge difference between a ‘nice guy’ and a ‘good man.’
Every guy I’ve met whose referred to themselves as “nice guys” are only surface level nice. They can’t find a date but they do not realize that their personality is actual shit.
It’s true. Be nice. Let her finish first.
Depends if you’re actually a nice person or nice for self-gratification and seeking acknowledgement from or others or think that it should get you a reward of some kind (neckbeards).
Urgh. The only guys I have very known who say this also say things like “I’m waiting for a good woman to come and sort me out”. Being ‘nice’ is something you can turn on and off. It’s not a testament to your character. If you have to show for yourself is ‘I’m nice’, well then it’s no wonder you’re last. A bit like women who think they just need to be pretty.
Out dated saying. It should say nice guys with no self respect or boundaries finish last.
Being “nice” is the bare minimum, if you don’t have it at all then you won’t even be considered, and if it’s all you have then you’re incredibly boring.
The guys who buy into that idea are anything but nice in my experience.
“Nice guys” = someone who acts nice and thinks that women are vending machines you put the nice into until sex falls out.
Reality is you need more than being fake nice.
Try treating a woman as a person for once without sex as the main goal.
Being nice does not entitle a man to a romantic relationship with a woman that he is interested in. There’s a lot of nice men, but not all of them are attractive to me, and not all of them have things in common with me.
I’m saying this because usually “nice guys finish last” is a saying used by men who are rejected by a woman that they are interested in.