#FamilyConflict #LegalAdvice #MentalHealthAwareness
Hey everyone 👋, I hope you’re all doing well. I need some advice on a situation that’s been weighing heavily on my mind. Here’s the deal:
So, my family is convinced that I tried to get my brother to kill them 4 years ago 😳. It’s a pretty crazy accusation, and I wasn’t even present when it supposedly happened. My mother has a history of mental health issues and has always been quick to blame me for things that I didn’t do.
Here’s what’s been going on:
– My mother called the police on me, claiming that I told my brother to harm them
– I called the police to explain the situation and they escorted me away for my own safety
– My siblings were placed in foster care due to my mother’s struggles
– I’ve been trying to check in on my siblings periodically, but my mother continues to make false accusations against me
Now, my mother is threatening to report me to the police again, claiming she has a recording of my brother saying I told him to harm them. Should I be worried? 🤔
As for a possible solution, I think seeking legal advice and gathering any evidence to support your side of the story would be a good start. It’s important to protect yourself and ensure your siblings’ safety. Has anyone else been through a similar situation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! 🙏
I think the other commenters had really good advice, but I would just like to add you should try to do some research for your mother’s State and see if there is a mental health crisis line that you can call to inform them of your mother’s mental state.
I am in Canada so I’m not sure if America has the same resources, but I know the cops in both countries can be kind of unreliable. I had to call the police to do a wellness check on my mother in October when I noticed her mental health declining because of her untreated schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. The police officer said he checked on her but couldn’t do anything because she wasn’t suicidal.
A month later I only noticed her getting worse so I did some research and called a provincial crisis line. A crisis team was sent to my mother’s house and they were able to assess her and deemed her in need of treatment so she was sent to a mental health hospital. In the end I found out that that police officer definitely could and should have called that same crisis line and she wouldn’t have had to suffer declining further for a whole month without any help and support. She did so much damage to her home in that month that it is now unlivable and she will have to go to a care facility. The police officer failed her, and I’m afraid the police in your situation might fail those poor kids in your mother’s house.
Please check if there’s a mental health crisis line in your mother’s State. They may be able to send a team to assess her condition and get her the treatment she desperately needs.
As has been said, you should not be in trouble. You have done nothing wrong. The legal advice here:
The police do not have to do anything. They probably will look up the case and nope out. That doesn’t mean for 100% they won’t follow up out of an abundance of caution. If they do, know your rights and know what to say and know how to say it:
“The initial police report has all the relevant information, along with the CPS reports that followed. I have lived through significant trauma and have blocked out much of the abuse neglect and gaslighting I was subjected to. Those reports will provide a better, more complete, and more accurate recollection than I can. I do not wish to answer questions because of all I have gone through. I will be invoking my rights to remain silent and wish for questioning to stop immediately. Am I free to go or am I being detained?”
Edit: Also do not allow them into your home. Have the conversation in an open doorway. Be three feet back. When they ask to come in, and they will, inform them they are not to enter. Keep your hands visible and in front of you at all times. If they follow up and ask why they can’t enter and tell you that’s suspicious do not take the bait. Simply say “I have been traumatized by my mother’s threats and this has made me uncomfortable with allowing you in. I believe she is trying to weaponize you. Please see the case files and police report.”
No, you won’t get in trouble. The police already looked into that allegation on the first night which then led to the state taking the kids away. This means that on that night, the police were able to piece together that your mom isn’t all there.
I can’t speak to the current situation, but what I will say is this. Please know that none of this is your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong here. Unfortunately it sounds like your mom is dealing with some serious mental health issues as this kind of behavior isn’t normal. I don’t say that to make you feel bad or to insult your mom, but instead to give you some outside perspective.
This isn’t your fault, hopefully one day your mom can eventually get the help she needs and you all can have something resembling a normal, healthy relationship. As for the current situation with your siblings, I’ll let someone else answer that as I’m not a lawyer.
Good luck, be strong and keep doing what you’re already doing, loving your family.
I am an attorney. I wouldn’t worry about it. Your mother’s police report against you was most likely not taken seriously by the police. Absent other evidence they would not be likely to pursue the issue.