#LifeGoals #PersonalGrowth #FindingDirection #BreakupRecovery #OvercomingDepression
Are you feeling lost and overwhelmed at 31? Breakups, career struggles, and a lack of direction can leave you feeling depleted and exhausted. But don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many individuals face similar challenges at this stage in life. It’s time to take control and start rebuilding your life one step at a time.
## Acknowledge Your Feelings and Emotions
It’s essential to acknowledge and accept your emotions. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your relationship and the sense of direction in your life. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or lost. Take this time to process your feelings and understand the root cause of your emotional turmoil.
## Seek Professional Help
Therapy can be a powerful tool for navigating through difficult times. Speaking to a therapist can help you gain clarity, cope with your emotions, and develop a plan for moving forward. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support – it’s a brave step towards healing.
## Reflect on Your Values and Passions
Take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you. What are your values, passions, and dreams? Reconnecting with your core values can help you identify a career path that aligns with your innermost desires. Explore different interests and hobbies to discover what brings you joy and fulfillment.
## Set Realistic Goals and Create a Plan
Start setting small, achievable goals to create a sense of purpose and direction in your life. Break down your larger goals into manageable steps and create a roadmap for success. Whether it’s pursuing further education, exploring new career opportunities, or rediscovering your creative talents, a clear plan can help you stay focused and motivated.
## Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Build a strong support system of friends, family, and mentors who uplift and encourage you. Surround yourself with positive influences who believe in your potential and offer guidance along the way. Lean on your support network during challenging times and celebrate your victories together.
## Embrace Change and Growth
Remember that change is inevitable, and growth often occurs outside your comfort zone. Embrace new opportunities, take risks, and don’t be afraid to step into the unknown. By embracing change and challenging yourself, you can create a life that reflects your true potential and aspirations.
## Stay Positive and Believe in Yourself
Above all, maintain a positive mindset and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles. Practice self-care, cultivate self-love, and celebrate your progress no matter how small. You have the strength and resilience to rebuild your life and create a bright future ahead.
Remember, it’s never too late to turn your life around and pursue your dreams. Take this opportunity to rediscover yourself, find your passion, and create a life that aligns with your true purpose. You deserve happiness, fulfillment, and success. Stay strong, stay determined, and keep moving forward. You’ve got this! 💪🌟
You have to live like she was never around. You’re starting over, you need to get your money up and focus on your career. Start hitting the gym to build confidence and be busy. Once you’re busy you won’t have time to think about her and your feelings. Naturally you’ll just get over it and move on to somebody better
You should focus on your body first, exercise and become fit and then put your mind to work
Similar experience here man. It gets better. Work out, take vitamins, focus on your friends, try and get a new community. Don’t obsess over her and make it worse like I did, better to give her space and let her feel your absence. I know it sucks but praying for you OP.
It happened to me as well. I never grew up out of it, I am sorry. I hope you will. It’s very difficult when you get attached and your entire life revolves around the beauty of another person.
This happened to me, alebit at 24.
I was BROKEN for a solid 6 months and didn’t fully recover for years.
5 yrs later I met my now wife. I have two kids, a job I enjoy and make decent cash at, and a woman who is loyal to me and I truly respect. When I lost my job and way briefly, my wife stayed, doubled down, and helped me figure it out. This is what worthy women do.
Every time I think of that disloyal bitch I thank whatever God might exist he spared me. Not that I think of her any more than once or twice a year for about 10 seconds.
This will also happen to you. Hang in, start lifting at the gym and keep your current job. Pour all your emotions into lifting weights. Become obsessed. In about a year, you will have a solid frame both physically and mentally.
If you aren’t sure re career, stay put and start something on the side until it grows and you see if you have a winner. Having that steady job allows you to experiment a bit in evenings and on weekends.
Some day, you will meet her again, muscular and richer, with a woman you love on your arm, and you, too, will thank the Gods.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!
30s is still young, as is the 40s
So all of this seems terrible upfront and now because it’s new and a shock to the body and mind, in time you will look back on this and feel very little
The most important thing to recognise is that this is the most potent time in your life for you, it’s the ultimate “look in to the mirror” scenario, for me this happened in my late teens, this happens to others even later than you’re having it
The main aim is that you reflect for a time, be ruthlessly introspective and then plan what to do next
You mention you are starting therapy… I’ve never done it, the most important thing is that you do not DWELL on how you feel, all the bad things and the past but you start constantly talking about the future – if the therapist concentrates so much on digging in to your past, that’s probably not a good fit
The aim is to find the route cause of why this may have happened (you say you already have hints, not manly enough etc)
The weird thing is, you may only find the route cause to why this happened only after you become the stronger version of yourself and look back in retrospect upon a person you no longer recognise in yourself – very important concept, I struggled with this for a long long time
This of course requires that you constantly look forward and plan ahead, not behind (which is where the therapist may persuade you to look) – make sure that if you say if helps you, it actually does, you want to come out of that therapy feeling excited for what comes next (after a SHORT period of time working on reflection and possible route cause reasons)
But anyway, think of your situation (I’m assuming here)
You’re a single mature dude with good health, access to unlimited information, in a prosperous part of the world with a potent motive to improve yourself
Meanwhile, there are others with conditions preventing them from walking… thinking… enjoying things that you are free to do, your position (like mine and many of ours) is so gifted, it would be a disrespect to those who can’t to waste it and be lost in out own mind about things that are temporary such as a breakup
Anyhow, long story short, it’s a good thing this happened in many regards, it opens up the chance for you to level up, should you want to do it
I’ve been through this… possibly twice now, I look back and meh it was a pain but I feel better every year I age and I’ve recently been saying “what a frigging year” and the end of each year (positively)
Like I say, you have the tools, freedom and scenario to make this work, thing of those who don’t
You mention the artistic stuff, now is the time to be as expressive as possible (to counter the depressive, notice they are opposites)
So draw, work out, go out, try things, do things etc etc… all mediums of expression, do not be depressive by stopping those things and do not be idle
We all go through this, all at different ages, you might think you would have liked this earlier like me in my late teens, but honestly I didn’t have a mature mind back then, you at this age probably do, you can engineer your outcomes better and faster, you are at an advantage
This post is long enough, I’m not even going to check for my spelling mistakes, I hope this helps, I’ll be excited to know you are at the start of your potent journey – my advice is get working out, I love it so much, fix the mind through the body and like I say expression is key
Best of luck!
Remember, time heals all wounds eventually. Do things now, like starting today, that will make you proud down the road, in 6 months or a year, or even longer if that’s how long it will take your wounds to heal. Because they will heal eventually and you’ll be superbly proud of yourself when you realize that you didn’t give up or give in and spent this time in your life productively. This rejection will be a scar on your psyche going forward, but you can look at this scar in the future and remember it as a time that, while very painful, has made you a better, more experienced and a more resilient human.
Now, get up, take care of yourself and do something. Remember, the hardest part is to start doing something, then it’s all easy.
I don’t know why people think having someone else is the solution to their problems.
My wife knows if I’m alone I’ll be fine.
I’m not going to be a hoe and bang every random chick but I’ll probably go off and do things that my wife said no to. Like visit Iraq or syria.
Sign up for a Marathon or half marathon and follow a training plan. It can do wonders for your mental state.
Hit the gym. Focus on yourself. Eat and drink healthy, work out, and focus on the good you want. Love yourself before you can love someone else. Being healthy and active does wonders for your mental health. You’ll start focusing and manifesting what you want with your new drive
Good advice. Do the opposite of what your doing now. Take care of yourself, even if you don’t feel like it………. Jordan Peterson says, “It’s ok, to not make the wisest decisions when your in your 20’s and early 30’s, partying or not, in school or not, working or not, etc…. Just learn from your experiences and keep moving forward. ” The problem, he say’s, is if your in the latter years of your 30’s, with no meaningful relationships, drug abuse, past or present, no defineable direction, no education, nor a job. Then it’s going to be extremely difficult, if not damn near impossible, to get out of the hell you’ve created for yourself.” So keep your chin up, everything will work out. And do the opposite of me. I’m 36, live at home, no job, addicted to drugs, no friends, definitely no girlfriend, and have no direction. Well I have a little direction, the Bible.🤙
We are more alike than you ever know, stranger and it’s possible.
Take it a day at a time. Be cheerful of the little victories (we’re talking taking a shower, brushing your teeth, going to the store, to the gym, etc…).
I hope wellness for you. You are not alone. Find one thing and keep going my brother.
Also not sure if you like EDM, but “Something Comforting” by Porter Robinson really helped me.
as well as “Everything Goes On” (same artist).
Also “The Way Life Goes” – Lil Uzi Vert.
Godspeed, brother.
Like many people are going to say, don’t start drinking a lot, and get your ass in that gym and pick up some heavy stuff, then put it right back down, do that a few times and the gainz will flow through your veins.
the solutions are there in the problems you described.
you need to take care of yourself and do all the things you say you haven’t been doing, because those are the things that help make a good life.
you know what you’re missing. now you just need to get serious about filling that gap between reality and the gap.
in my very general limited experience, women don’t like being around men who don’t love themselves and the lives they are living. so you know exactly what you need to change.
Perception on what makes you happy is the first thing. I’m 35 I feel like now I am getting my life together starting my own business. Decided I would rather die to my own doing than being a slave to an hourly job. Landscaping was the best move I’ve done. It’s a mental battle everyday but I pay my bills and have fulfillment with each landscaping job I complete.
Talk to your therapist. Figure out what so truly making you unhappy and take a hard break from social media. Go outside and realize you are alive.
Everyone’s lost and the economy sucks welcome to earth. Sounds sad but actually it’s the opposite. It’s freeing we’re all just making our way through life best we can. Stop blaming yourself for your career issues. Consider blaming the economic system. I bet you whoever designed it has themselves in mind and not you. Try as best to get where you are trying to get to.
This is the kind of medical condition psychiatrists are trained to treat, and do treat all day long every day. Stigma? That’s like saying there’s a stigma to hiring a plumber.
Get on a train, bring some books, and start traveling again to see new perspectives and reenergize yourself.
Therapy will help. Learn to love yourself and remember that you have value. It will take some time to get the self esteem back but you’re only 31. You have time.
Go on vacation in south East Asia. People love those places and meanwhile see business opportunities. You know like the dude from tiktok who started his portion and brownies business and expanded to wd and bar in Thailand. Everything is cheaper here and you might love it. Personally my sir he is really close to me studied hm hotel management which is hospitality and started working as a waiter in the US from Nepal and in a few years he is now a GM. I forgot the name of the hotel though. So there is enough opportunity because trust me the US hates Nepali whenever we contact for a job they cut the phone by hearing our voice because it isn’t of a white male.