Hey everyone, so I need some advice on a situation that went down at a recent family party. My little sister got a brand new car as a gift from my Dad, and I ended up storming out of the party in a huff. Am I the asshole for leaving once the car arrived?
Now, let me give you some context. I’ve always felt overshadowed by my sister, especially since she started getting all this attention at school. I missed out on my senior prom, while she went with a senior and had a blast. And now, with her getting a new car and a big sweet 16 party on a boat, I can’t help but feel like I’m invisible in my own family.
So, when the new car showed up during my valedictorian celebration party, I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I was being pushed aside once again. I drove off to the beach to clear my head, only to come back to a scene of chaos and anger.
My sister said she didn’t mean to hurt me, but I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness and being overlooked. So, what do you guys think? Was I wrong to leave the party, or was it justified given the circumstances? Let me know your thoughts! 💭🤔✨
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NTA
Congratulations! You deserve every bit of happiness and success that you can achieve. Go to college, get a great job, and when Daddy’s spoiled little princess bleeds his bank account dry and they have no money because your sister can’t hold down a job or education, they’ll come crying to you. That’s when you show them you get from a relationship what you put into it. Ignore them, shut the door in their face, openly celebrate every achievement you make and live your best life.
NTA, but if I was your dad… YOU would have gotten the new car for your accomplishments and your sister would have gotten your versa since she will just be starting to learn to drive. You did nothing wrong and the fact you were slighted by both of them at your own celebration, well, they need to recognize what they are doing to you. Meanwhile you have to learn to start taking care of you. Apparently she is daddy’s little girl and will always be, figure out a way not to compete with it. It’s not you, it’s your father.
NTA
It wasn’t your party in the first place. Your sister and dad wanted to take it over and did. And there’s no way that they didn’t give your dad a delivery day for a car.
Congratulations on valedictorian by the way.
So NTA but I would sit down with your dad and talk to him about how you feel. Use the examples you provided here. You say it was a new car but was it new to her (still used) or new off the lot? If he bought her a used car because there wasn’t another car to hand down, I get it. If he bought a brand new car for her, I would simply point out that while he mostly provides the same things the quality is vastly different.
I would mention to him that your sister gets quality time when they go shopping, just because you guys like to shop at different stores doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend time with him or that you would appreciate more quality time.
Are you leaving for college or staying at home? I think it should be brought up either way. Staying home there is a chance for things to change. Going away to school might make it difficult but there are ways to work on your relationship, even at a distance.
NTA, but you need to talk to your dad. See how he responds, because that will determine how *you* respond. FYI, I’m pretty sure if you’re getting a car delivered, *you choose what time the car gets dropped off*, because the company wants to make sure the car was delivered to the right people, and the keys are in the owner’s hand. It’s very unlikely that he “didn’t know the car would be dropped off then.” Especially not a *brand new car*. I smell bs, and he just favors your sister, and wanted the spotlight for her.
You are NTA. People are saying get your father to change etc. Well sorry to say I doubt that will happen but get into a really great college(out of town) make friends and set yourself up for a great life.
NTA I can tell you from experience if a car is being delivered to you house then you arrange and day and time window for it to be delivered. Also, most companies have their driver call ahead to make sure you are there.
NTA. I think you did the right thing leaving. Your sister is being clueless and it makes me so mad. You deserve better.
what an insensitive family you have OP.
It always seems that there is one child who is the ‘golden child’ in a family no matter how hard the parents try to treat everyone the same. Your dad doesn’t even seem to be trying… NTA.
I’m sure I read a similar story in the last week, but it was a 15yo being gifted a Tesla
NTA – Your dad knew. They don’t randomly deliver cars without proper notice before hand. So sorry your dads an AH. Just one more year until you can move out.
At least you have a core group of friends. A lot of people don’t have that. Focus on being positive with them and being absent from home. Could you do summer school at college and head out early? It might not be too late to sign up. But be positive! You sound like a bit of a downer tbh. Also, NTA Zfor your reaction to the car bs. That was all ridiculous.
NTA
Your achievement should be celebrated and be for you.
The new car and your used car show clear favoritism, as do their other actions.
I’m sorry your family treats you this way. But when you are a bit older and have finished university, and you’re successful and have a good life, they will wonder why they rarely hear from you.
Remind them at that point about this treatment.
NTA and congratulations on achieving valedictorian. Go to college and shine there too. Then be successful and have as much, or as little interaction with them as you choose to
NTA, who your dad bought the car off, would have arranged a day for delivery so it’s on purpose. also your car would be better if you cleaned the inside and serviced the car to prevent breakdowns happening.
NTA but could someone let me know why you need a date to go to prom? In the UK you’re more likely to go with your friends.
NTA!!!
Tell dad the only way possible for you to even consider forgiving him is for you to get the new car and golden child sister to have yours.
Your family sucks. I’m sorry for that. You seem like a thoughtful and considerate person. I wish you good luck, abundance of prosperity, and happiness. Your sister is going to grow up to be a fuck up as a golden child. Dont worry about seeking attention or love from the people that don’t give it (ie dad). There are people that will love you just the way you are.
NTA. Your dad definitely is.
-From another eldest daughter
My advice: continue to focus on school, get into the college of your choice, never go or look back! It’s obvious who the golden child is. Your best revenge is success! Your sister and her crocodile tears. She knew exactly what she was doing!!
Your sister has all of the indications she’s peaked in highschool.
College will be your time to shine. You are so incredibly intelligent. As a mother I want to tell you how proud I am of everything you’ve achieved.
As for your sister…. Her behaviour is utterly bizarre.
I have a younger cousin like your sister. Every single accomplishment of hers was celebrated. She was gifted a brand new car while her older sister was gifted an old car with mechanical issues.
No one in my family can stand being around her. I vividly recall her spinning around in a dress at my sister’s funeral – she did it for attention. She behaved as if she was at her own quinceanera.
She’s a giggler and pretends she’s dumb so that people baby her.
My cousin still lives in our small town, has a young child and is in a relationship with a midget.
I’m sure she has found some happiness but I won’t forget all of the shit she has pulled but the longer I think about her the more annoyed I get.
As a side note – all the family staring at a 15 year old teenager who is dressed in revealing clothes is really freaking weird.
My family ignored my cousin for the most part. Anyone with half a brain could realise her behaviour was beyond inappropriate.
NTA; as the song goes “it’s my party and I can cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you.”
NTA. Congratulations on being valedictorian! You will go far in life. Choose who you want to be a part of your family and ignore the rest. You should also start therapy once you start college so you can learn how to set boundaries. You will also need to grieve not having the parents or sibling you wanted or deserved. My sister is my best friend, whom I have known for over 30 years. I have not talked to my blood relatives, including my dad and brothers, for over 10 years. I don’t miss them anymore. It does get easier as you build your own family. Big Hugs! From Aunt Sierra!
Your sister is clearly the favored one. So be it.
Get your things together and head off to college far far far away, so that you can get your emotional and mental well-being together.
You don’t need these toxic people in your life. When their world explodes 🤯 it will be you that they cal and beg for help. You can just remind them of these moments in time.
You deserve better than this.
Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 🥳 on your achievements.
NTA
17 year old only wears thrift store clothes because she hates sweatshops? This entire post is such a pile of horseshit.
Stories like this is why I don’t blame people for cutting contact with family. Also stories like this is why I now understand that some people can drop their parents off at a nursing home and forget about them. NTA.
NTA. Your family sounds rather awful. Perhaps the best revenge is leaving, going to college, and ignoring these selfish assholes you happen to share DNA with.
Dad knew the delivery date & approved it.
Go to a university as far away from your dad and sister as you can and live your life to the fullest. They don’t deserve you. NTA.
NTA i understand why you did what you did.
And your dad 100% knew about the delivery they don’t just stroll up one day and drop the car off, they inform you weeks beforehand.
Congratulations on being the Valedictorian of your class. That’s an amazing achievement. You have a core group of friends, which is honestly better than being “popular.” You are into ethical consumption which tells me you are not the standard issue high school student. You sound really cool.
Your dad needs to get it together. I had a sister growing up. Honestly, I was more like your sister. Into clothes and my friends, lots of personality. My sister was also the valedictorian and more serious.
My parents loved us both equally. There were definitely times where we were jealous of each other and didn’t get along but they would NEVER do something like buy only one of us a car or give one of us a big sweet 16 party and not do that for the other one.
I’m grown now and have a 21 year old son. I’ve never raised 2 kids. But I have definitely made mistakes as a parent. I hope that if you tell all this to your dad he will listen to you, validate your emotions, and do things differently.
Again, congratulations. I don’t blame you one bit for leaving the party. You deserve to have your turn to shine.
Your dad is embarrassed because everyone clearly saw how badly he hurt you at your own celebration. Let him wallow and continue to believe in your own success.
NTA – enjoy your success and cut the sister off.
Your dad should read this. He seems oblivious that he is under your little sister’s spell. My 3 sisters were always my mom’s favorites.
This is soooo fake.
NTA but it’s normal to feel a little envy but the best you can do to show them who’s the better person is ignore and don’t take it by heart, my family was the same and now my sister and my parents relation is non existant while they rely on me and my atention the most.
Tables turn way too fast and life goes by way too fast to stick to feeling that you are a second class daughter.
NTA – sorry you are going through this 🙁 your dad is a total asshole. I don’t care how hard it is to be a single parent you don’t neglect your kid, especially when you are spoiling the other.
Congratulations on being valedictorian! That is huge!! You are gonna do great things, and will build a family of your choosing. I hope you are able to separate yourself from these people as much as you can, they are going to continue to try and drag you down
I would live the next year in silence with these people. You’re well on your way to being successful at college. Once you turn 18 and go away to college cut contact from them they no longer belong in your life. Good luck 🤞
It’s pretty good, a little too full of clichés. Would make a great Hallmark movie in 2008.
Let’s disentangle some of this.
Your sister is more emotionally manipulative than you are. She’s younger and less mature, but even at that age, you weren’t behaving as she does.
She has gotten some significant attention you did not. But in part, you actively discouraged and would have hated that attention. She wears more revealing stuff. She hangs out with the popular kids. She wears makeup and curls her hair. She buys fashion items, not heirloom stuff.
Your sister hasn’t really done anything wrong here. She’s competing with you, sure, but in things you point blank refuse to compete with her on. She made herself look good for your party – which was likely not a deliberate attempt to put you in shade, and more what she does for parties, and may even be an anxiety reaction to people who like you and are probably smart and hard for her to connect with.
Then, the truck turns up. Massive evidence that your father has a favourite, and it isn’t you, during what was supposed to be your celebration. I’d have been furious, and devastated, and grieving the good parent I wanted but did not have. You drove off to take some time to collect yourself, which feels like a pretty tame reaction to me.
NTA.
You probably don’t want advice, just valediction. But I’ll suggest it anyway – your sister is really not at fault here. She’s trying to get affection from your father, but that’s natural. Everything you’ve described sounds more like she’s immature and needy, which I blame the parent for more as much as her. She sounds genuinely upset that you were hurt by this – her response was not “I did nothing wrong”, it was “I am sorry I hurt your feelings” – which sounds like real remorse, even if she wasn’t directly to blame, and empathy. Your father – angry and yelling? (you didn’t specify who). “I didn’t know they’d deliver it during your party”. This isn’t an apology. It isn’t an offer to buy you a new car. It isn’t any kind of admission that he’s in the wrong, or that your emotions are justified. The guy may not be a total jerk, but he’s very far from doing a good job as parent right now.
Feel like this smells a lil fishy…
This reads like you asked an AI to write a teen movie from the 80s or 90s. Like 16 Candles or 10 Things I Hate About You.
I feel like with so much of your post you’re jealous of your sister for doing normal 16 year old things. It’s like she’s living her life and you see everything as a personal attack on you. Going to prom, being popular, I assume making Tik toks, they are all nothing to do with you
Even getting dressed up for a party – that’s normal for a 16 year old – it seems a stretch her entire motivation was to make you feel bad. I’d be surprised if you crossed her mind at all.
That being said your dad is TA for buying your sister a brand new car when you got a second hand one. And NTA for your reaction when you discovered it