#ToxicBossEncounter #WorkplaceDrama
Guys, I need your input on this insane situation that just went down at my new workplace today! 🤯 My former toxic boss from my old job, the one who made me miserable and forced me to quit, showed up at my current job. I’m still in shock – my heart is racing, and my hands are shaking. 😬
For some context:
– I left my previous job due to the toxic behavior of my boss
– He would yell at me in front of coworkers for minor things
– He would spy on me and share personal information without my consent
– I finally reached my breaking point and quit on the spot, reporting everything to HR
Fast forward to today:
– I blocked him and moved to a new city for a fresh start
– He viewed my LinkedIn profile recently, but I ignored it
– Today, he showed up at my new workplace, and I had to tell him to leave
– My boss is currently away on vacation, and I’m at a loss for what to do next
Any advice on how to handle this situation? Should I inform HR or my boss’s assistant? 🤔I feel like I need to take action to protect myself and ensure my peace of mind. Let me know your thoughts!
This is beyond just a bad boss. He’s stalking you.
In addition to the other steps, if you’re in the US, you can call 988 for mental health support.
I am afraid my soon to be former boss is going to do this to me 😭
Make sure you’re not followed when you leave work also.
Along with the other advices, write down the date, time, location, context, witnesses, persons involved in each of these occurences.
Seek professional help and counsel from an attorney/lawyer or from groups/offices who are specialized in such cases, to know what you can legally do, and what can be done to without any risks of legal retaliation from him. Then, when you know what you can and can’t do, hit back.
Maybe your counsel can communicate on your behalf against this former boss and inform the former HR, and for a restraining order, too.
Congrats on the new job and new apartment. File a police report and send a copy to the HR department of your old job. Make sure you include how he was on your LinkedIn page as well. Please be safe and don’t take shit from anyone ☺️.
that sounds very stalkerish. I would look into getting a PFA/restraining order, which means you need to start documenting this with the police.
Omg. Your ex boss is a stalker.
Updateme
First of all- congratulations on doing the right thing even in an emergency!! Lots of people would be intimidated and freeze or let this stalker do what he wanted. You are doing great by laying down boundaries and sticking to them.
You can file a police report online. It’s not an emergency but it’s still necessary to document.
Provide (a redacted) police report (removing front desk person’s name and business address) to his HR department and do what other have suggested. I would notify them in writing (bcc yourself) about the incident.
If he continues you may have a nice compensation package in store.
Creepy control freaks can get weirder when given boundaries. Hopefully you can scare him off soon.
You need to contact non emergency local law enforcement and report this as quickly as possible and inform your current job of this situation. He needs to be on their radar. Best of luck to you
this is stalking. Call police immediately
In addition to all the other advice, immediately write down what happened & ask the receptionist if they would do the same, including a physical description of the person.
Contact his direct manager, the next higher level of management, and the HR manager in writing. Tell them exactly what happened & emphasize that you did not extend any invitation to your former boss to stay in touch and that you find his behavior to be unwanted, inappropriate, threatening, and unacceptable.
Request that they have an urgent meeting with him asap where they make it clear that his behavior is unacceptable personal conduct and it needs to stop immediately.
I guarantee that he’s done the same thing to other former employees. It’s only a matter of time until this ends very badly for someone.
Tell the police, file a report, it’s not going to be illegal and they aren’t going to be able to do anything about it right now but if somthing else happens they will at least have a record of this inappropriate visit. If he tries to come near you again tell him you want nothing to do with him and to leave you alone; if he tries to contact or see you again file for a restraining order referencing the issues you have reported to the police, if he violates that order the police can do something about it.
this is a stalker as others have said. treat it seriously. report it to the police. file a restraining order
Sounds like you did the right thing!
Oh hey, the grey rock lady! I’m glad you got away from that awful place.
Whether it’s true or not, you being a woman younger than him makes it very easy for you to say that he’s stalking you for romantic reasons and that should be more than enough for your job to permanently ban him from the premises. I’m assuming he wanted to come by to either intimidate or harass you, neither option of which is acceptable.
I know you’ve only been there a month but that should be long enough for them to get an idea of what kind of person you are and assuming you’re good at what you do, they should believe you easily.
File for a restraining order yesterday.
yeah I would call the police, get something recorded.
The moment you left the first job, any unwanted contact he has with you is about him as a person not as a boss. To drive to another city makes it even worse, sure its stalking but its also bordering n insanity.
This is my nightmare with my old boss. Very similar person, to the point I wondered if it’s the same guy for a second. When I quit I didn’t receive my W2 for the tax year and had to contact him again much to my dismay cause I had no way of getting HR’s number in such a small company. He tried to ask what I’m doing now and if it pays as well etc. I dodged the questions and told him to please give me HR contact info. He said even though I quit so fast and left him in a really bad position, I can always reach out to him if I need anything. I didn’t laugh out loud but I didn’t even bother responding, just hung up. The man sexually harassed me and made me feel suicidal in all aspects of a completely awesome role otherwise to the point I left without having a job lined up at all for my own safety. If I ever see him again I don’t know what I would do. So glad you didn’t have to see him and it was handled well. Definitely get that restraining order.
Creepy, but better than my initial take on the title which was him showing up as your “new” manager…
Updateme!
Wtf
Restraining order time!!
Ask someone to escort you to your car. In case he hasn’t fully left.
This almost sounds like stalking behavior what reason would your former boss have to come to your new employment other than to harass you? Might see about getting a restraining order. I don’t know if that’s feasible or not but you could probably consult with a lawyer and find out
Yeah, seriously – evidence this. Screenshot of the linkedin visit with date and time, get evidence from the receptionist etc and report this. You never know if and when you might need to use this historical event as evidence and it will be a lot stronger if you had made this report earlier. Total loser this guy.
This definitely concerning OP. Speak with your current job, and the police about what’s happening. Look into a retraining order. Wouldn’t be a bad idea to have an alarm system installed where you live. Make friends with the older nosey neighbors. They tend to keep an eye on your place when you’re away (mine do). Be safe OP. This dude sounds crazy.
I would call security and have them put on notice that he’s a possible stalker case
Others have given some great advice already:
* Document the interaction, ask the receptionist to do the same. This includes a screen shot of him visiting your LinkedIn page if you can.
* Get any security footage if available.
* Contact the police non-emergency line and file a report; while this won’t be illegal, it’s to build a case so don’t let them tell you no.
* Report to his HR director of his harassment and you did not set the expectation that he could reach out to you.
As to your reaction, you likely have some form of PTSD from the abuse you suffered and this sounds a lot like a panic attack. They don’t always come in the form of a tight chest and issues breathing. A lot of my panic attacks come with some form of dissociation depending on the trigger, and this could be the same for you.
Your body doesn’t feel safe, your old boss and abuser triggered the feelings of not feeling safe at your new job. It’s very normal for you to react the way you did.
If this happens again, just do some grounding exercises. I like to focus on a picture for a minute then try to describe it in writing. This helps me focus on something else and gives my brain something to do. Just find something that works for you.
I’m so proud of you for leaving that place and for telling the receptionist not to let him in. That is not easy to do and I’m so very proud of you!
You didn’t provide ages but I’m wondering if he was trying to manipulate a younger subordinate into an unwanted physical relationship. His insistence on wanting to know everything about your personal life was the first blazing red flag.
Police, ASAP. Don’t keep taking this kind of crap from anyone.
UpdateMe! 2 weeks
You can get a restraining order online. He has no reason to seek you out two hours away.
I remember you posting about your boss. I’m so sorry this is happening, it sounds really scary.
He sounds like he wanted to force a relationship with you and has now escalated to stalking you since he no longer has access to you on a daily basis.
What the fuck? Not normal behavior. Start documenting this guy. He’s on some kinda power trip. Stalkerish behavior.
Sorry he drove to another city an hour away to come see you in person at your work? With no notice or warning of his intent? That is so scary! Inform security, reception, your boss, everyone to watch out for you!
Call HR and explain the toxic boss, and that you are afraid of what he would try to do to you on their property. They won’t want “an event” happening at a work location. They can also coordinate with local police, but you should file your own report.