#LostInThe21Club #QuarterLifeCrisis #FeelingLost #HelpMe #LifeAfterHighschool
Are you 21 and feeling like you’ve already messed up your life? Do you find yourself panicking about the direction your life is heading in, unsure of what steps to take next? You’re not alone. Many young adults experience this overwhelming sense of confusion and fear, especially when faced with uncertainties about their future. But fear not, there are practical solutions to help you navigate through this challenging period in your life.
## Understanding the Root of the Problem
At 21, it’s completely normal to feel lost and unsure about your future, especially if you haven’t had much guidance or support along the way. Growing up without proper mentorship or direction can leave you feeling overwhelmed and ill-prepared for adulthood. It’s essential to recognize that your past experiences, such as the loss of a loved one or struggles with mental health, have influenced your current state of mind.
## Practical Solutions to Consider
### 1. Self-Reflection and Goal Setting
Take some time to reflect on your strengths, interests, and values. Consider setting realistic short-term and long-term goals for yourself. This can help you gain clarity and purpose in your life.
### 2. Seeking Professional Help
Don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support. Dealing with mental health challenges alone can be daunting. Seeking professional help can provide you with the tools and coping strategies needed to navigate through difficult times.
### 3. Exploring Education and Career Paths
Research different educational and career options available to you. Consider enrolling in a community college or trade school to acquire new skills and qualifications. Explore internships and job shadowing opportunities to gain hands-on experience in your field of interest.
### 4. Networking and Mentoring
Connect with professionals in your desired industry through networking events or online platforms like LinkedIn. Having a mentor can provide you with valuable insights and guidance as you navigate your career path.
## Embracing the Journey
Remember, it’s never too late to make positive changes in your life. Embrace this period of uncertainty as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. You have the power to shape your own future and create a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. Stay resilient, stay focused, and believe in yourself. You are capable of overcoming this challenging phase and building a fulfilling life for yourself.
Don’t let fear and self-doubt hold you back. Take a leap of faith, explore new opportunities, and trust in your ability to overcome obstacles. The road to success may be filled with twists and turns, but with determination and perseverance, you can create a life that brings you joy and fulfillment. Remember, it’s never too late to turn your life around and pursue your dreams. Your future is in your hands.
You did not fuck up your life, your brain isn’t even fully formed yet. If you want the secret to life, here it is: Do anything, it doesnt matter what as long as its something and is interesting to you, every day for a little bit. One day it’ll all work out. Just never do nothing.
Thank me in 10 years
How about trade school?
No college doesn’t guarantee you a better job. Yes it can help. Go out there and make connections with professionals, join networking groups, discover what you may be interested in. College can help with this, but it’s not necessary.
Try new jobs until you find something that you like.
While you are doing that try several different random skills :
– coding ?
– crocheing ?
– art ?
– ice skating ?
– gym ?
– running ?
– renovating furniture ?
And when you find something you like, then get good at it.
Once you are a little good, post about it, talk about it, share.
Always meet new people. Go to the parties, organise the social outings, go on dates, get on bumble BFF, go see the new movie that everyone has been talking about. Basically get your presence out into the real world.
Be good at your job. Whatever it is, do your best. Be punctual and respectful and leave a good impression.
All this will plant seeds. It will allow good things to come to you.
As for college, only you can know what you want to do. Spend some time getting out into the world more, and once you have experienced new things, you should be able to see more clearly.
You are very very young. There is absolutely no reason to have anything figured out by that age. Ditch the mental deadlines.
You have 100% got this. Good luck.
Join a union.
So I would say look at community college and see what kinds of in-demand certificates that may be available. Where I live they actually do that for a handful of medical careers that are of no cost to students from a grant the state has given the community college post pandemic.
Also check apprenticeship.gov in your local area to see if there may be opportunities there.
As well as reach out to your county Workforce and they can be helpful with doing interest assessments and seeing what areas may be a fit for your or help with interviewing skills or resume building for free.
Never hurts to see what resources you can access via the Public Library in your area too. Sometimes they will hold classes for various topics work/job related to.
When I was job hunting this time last year I was with a local group of jobseekers who would meet weekly and discuss various topics related to job hunting and honestly I really enjoyed it because like you mentioned sometimes family doesn’t always know how to help with todays job market. Plus it helped me feel less alone with what I was going through. As well as possibly network too.
For me my job had an expiration date so I had to find something before it closed.
I also found that sometimes the speakers/guests they brought in of various industries interesting.
You’re young you can fix this. Goto trade school or firefighter..
You are not a fuckup. You are going through something very difficult, but it is an important life phase. It is supposed to feel impossible. It is supposed to BE IMPOSSIBLE but it’s ok to feel lost. Imagine who you may become once you overcome this. You are the product of bloodlines that survived everything this planet threw at humans. You’re stronger than you think.
One day, you’re gonna help people younger than yourself the same way as what older people did for me when I was going through it.
Unless you are or planning on going to prison. Are or plan on getting addicted to meth. Have more kids than you can count and only make minimum wage. At 21 you haven’t even begun. Everyday is a new day to start making better choices.
It’s really hard to have fucked up your life by the age of 21. With a little luck you could live for another 80 years – the first 21 will seem less pivotal in time. You haven’t fucked up anything.
Nothing can guarantee you a good job, but a degree will open doors that are closed if you don’t have one. You didn’t try in school, did you enjoy learning? College isn’t for everyone, if you didn’t enjoy learning think twice before thinking your only path is college. If you did enjoy learning go to your local community college and see what courses they offer. You can get a degree at a realistic/accessible price but you have to put the work in to learn your subjects.
If school isn’t your thing, consider learning a trade. You can make good money and could work towards being your own boss/having your own business one day.
Remember that success in life is not your job. We all need to pay the bills and so most of us need to work. But beyond funding our basic necessities, money is not the route to happiness. Measure success in the smile on your face when you wake up in the morning. For some people it is created by family and friendships, for others giving back to their community or working on a meaningful project (not necessarily paid). Consider the things that bring you happiness and work hard on those.
quick story: my uncle started playing piano at 40. people laughed at him and told him it was too late. well now hes 62, and hes been playing piano *every fucking day for 22 years*. he jams out at parties like elton john, and everyone who laughed at him is jealous now.
21 is young. by the time you are 30 you could be a master carpenter, a helicopter pilot, a five star chef, a jiujitsu blackbelt, a ship captain, whatever. you just have to pick something and do it. dont overthink it. go with your gut. nothing will be perfect anyway, so just have fun
No, you have plenty of time. I didn’t graduate with my computer science degree til 40. It took me 9 years of part time classes. 25 years later now and finally retiring comfortable.
Check out local unions, get on indeed, and actually look. There’s a lot of options out there. You might get a job you’ve never even knew existed. Have a good attitude and try.
You only feel lost because you haven’t chosen which way to go.
Choose something and take the first step.
Do a few career fairs and see what jobs are hiring.
Lots of places will hire and train AND pay for trades now.
I took random certificates in human resources, liberal arts and a diploma in construction….and work in insurance.
Unless you plan on becoming a doctor, just take something that can be used in most jobs.
and that’s the envy. being 21 you can fck up and begin again
Life isn’t a mystery to solve, but a reality to experience, just gotta get out there and see what makes you happy
I did t figure out what I like to do as a career or wanted to do until I was 33 years old. You’re fine. Live your life, get to know and better yourself along the way. You’ll work the rest out on your way there.
I’m 20 years old so I’m gonna give you my thoughts. When I was 18 years old I heavily contemplated on what I was going to do for a career. Right after graduation, I always thought about what I would do and it worried me. Long story short: Got a job at the county jail when I turned 19, been here for 1 1/2 years, while working I’m also going for my associates degree in criminal justice. My plan is to move up in my law enforcement career, which is why I am going for my degree. NOTICE how I found employment in a career that I like BEFORE I went to school? I think it is stupid to spend $40,000-$80,000 for a degree in a field that you haven’t even experienced or worked in. My biggest advice to you is this, find a job that you think you can make a career out of whether it maybe be a delivery driver (UPS,FedEx), corrections officer, tradesman, etc. When you work different types of jobs, you can figure out what does and doesn’t work for you. Stop overthinking things, take a deep breath, start applying to jobs that you think you might like and go on from there.
Take a short training program. Pharmacy Technicians is 90 days, for example. If you get a real job you’ll feel more secure.
It may not feel like it but you have plenty of time to figure things out and it sounds like you’re not in a bad spot to be as far as debt goes. If you’re still on your dad’s health insurance I’d maybe look into cognitive behavioral therapy it changed my life at that age. Really any step you take is a step in the right direction…it sounds like you are similar to me in being ‘frozen’ but the best thing to do is just get started on anything really. Don’t let societal pressure get in your head too much (easier said than done I know) you’ll figure it out though I wish you the best!
My last resort is always job corp just as a means to an end, rn I’m working as a picker packer with only gamestop on my resume and it pays well. My advice is just find something ur good at, and save up to go to college for that, or find a temp agency and get a full time job that will actually give u opportunities to move up. I got my warehouse job from a temp agency as long as they see you trying and u put ur best possible foot forward you can do it
You did not fuck up your life. Plenty of people are in a far worse situation because they ambled through high school, went to college without an idea of what they wanted to get from the experience then racked up a ton of debt without meaningfully advancing their career prospects.
Use your free time to explore career interests and study for either the ACT or the SAT. Get a high score, leverage it to go to college free or cheap somewhere. Some schools will be more than willing to overlook poor HS grades with a stellar standardized test score. This is especially the case for applicants who have been out of high school for some time. Even if you are not a natural standardized test taker, a high score is achievable. I know for a fact that the modern SAT has been essentially redesigned post-2016 to be a test where anyone who works hard enough can grind out a high score with enough time and prep.
All the best!
You can also find places to volunteer on your days off, put that on ur resume, along with any skills you learned over the years, work-wise or just thru life. Having volunteer work bot only shows you want to help (which employers tend to look for) but it also shows you have experience in a specific area and could open up doors for you. College isn’t necessary, but it helps you get more entry level positions for more difficult jobs. And like i said, temp agency/job corp.
Get a computer learn a piece of software like side fx houdini. Buy books on whatever you like and read. Something would come up your mind.
We all have had those moments of not knowing, feeling lost or floating around with no idea of what to do. Although I understand your dad’s sentiment about how things work out, you also need to set yourself up for a future that you want to see for yourself where you build on skills and experience that will help you down the road.
Although schooling is not always necessary, in its place experience can carry that burden, but when applying for jobs in certain industries or roles experience and schooling are needed. When trying to decide what I was doing I was lucky enough to feel confident enough in my choice of career, in reality it was because I was lost and just needed to find something to get proficient at. Even though I have never been diagnosed with some of the things you describe mentally, I know now that those things were very real for me and should have gotten some help along the way. Instead it has taken me 20 years to understand that some of my depression or habits that helped me repress that side of me was more hurtful than helpful. I thought that if I just work hard and long enough it will all work out. One thing that did help and am very grateful for was working with my hands. I chose cooking to be that avenue and truly think it has helped shape and get me through those tough roads in life.
What I’m getting at is with some of your mental health burdens look at doing some night classes for trades such as electrical, welding, plumbing, etc. This gets your body moving, hands on approach to using your mind and body in a different way. Try a few different things, whether those are classes, new or different jobs in other fields. You don’t have to sequester yourself to one field right now, you’re young and have the ability to work multiple jobs. If you can push past your mental blocks and be open to being tired both physically and mentally but understanding that you might find something rewarding in it for you then do that. Use that energy that is keeping you up at night and go find out what gets your blood pumping.
I’ll tell you a little bit of how I set up my path. Growing up I never had the opportunity to go work when I was a teenager. I was overseas and then when I moved back to the US for college that when I got my very first job, at 18. Insane for most people to think but it was my circumstance. I was in college, drinking heavily, partying, and really unsure what to do. I was failing out of college and had to get a job so I could do something with my life. Went to work as a line cook, where I stayed for quite some time and during that time I tried going back to school, failing out again, and then went to community college just to do the same again. I was still drinking and partying at that time trying to suppress those feelings and the reality of my life. There was a moment that came where I needed a change and it couldn’t wait. I found culinary school, left where I was at and moved to the city. I was able to transfer jobs under the same company which gave me that financial stability, but between the overtime hours and full time schooling (quarterly system) I burned out and completely collapsed, failing again at school. At that point I knew I needed a better work school balance and found Lyft when it literally first started. I thought that between school days of cooking and my off days of driving that this might just work out. I knew where I was at and where I wanted to go were so far apart that I needed to go big. Instead of going for my associates degree I decided to go full on and get my bachelors degree in culinary management. This was an accelerated 4 year degree in 3 years. I put my head down and worked those three years with the goal that this is going to help prop me up down the road, give me a track record of reliability and trust for those employers and investors in the future. I graduated top of my class and with a degree. It was a stepping stone, not necessarily to better opportunities at that very moment because a degree has to be backed up with experience. Afterwards I got multiple line cook jobs, moved to sous chef jobs, chef de cuisine jobs, exec chef jobs , and now onto director position which I have just transitioned to. For me, schooling was always the constant, I wasn’t necessarily the best at it, solid B ish student. It gave me focus, habits, and a sense of accomplishment.
In that same breath, I think that creating strong habits can help you focus that energy that is draining from you in not so healthy ways. I would highly recommend planning out your everyday, focusing on those habits, like getting up at a certain time, drinking water, exercising, getting sunlight, eating well, supplementing, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, reading, prioritizing sleep and self help, increasing emotional intelligence in yourself and understanding yourself better every day. It’s not going to be easy but these things can help set you up for success
It’s not over but it’s time to pick something to start getting good at my man, quit wasting more time
You have no debt or kids. You’re fine just start doing something asap.
You have time on your side. Your brain is still developing. Get outside as much as you can. Eat as well as you can. Eggs are good for your brain. Learn to cook them.
Try to concentrate on small moves each day to improve your outlook.
Be patient with yourself. It’s one step at a time, but your life has barely begun. You will have to bide your time, but young workers are in short supply. House prices and rents will inevitably come down as the large boomer generation downsizes and passes away.
You might be wise not to go into debt for college until you have gained a bit more life experience and know what you really want to do. You have the luxury of time to explore different places and different jobs. No kids to worry about. Must be hard for you to see it from where you are now but you are on the cusp of a great adventure. Take care of yourself.
You did not mess up!!! You’re not alone! I graduated Ungergrad at 22 but was diagnosed w/depression and anxiety!! I’m exhausted now because I didn’t know but here are some helpful tips:
GO TO COLLEGE!! If you take depression/anxiety medication they have “disability services” in college where you can submit a form stating you take medication for your mental health and can get more time on assignments, get to speak to a counselor if need be, etc, BUT you need a doctors signature or something ( ASK someone) ‼️ In college, they also have “ CAREER SERVICES,” where they’ll support you in getting a job, they’ll help you with a resume, look for internships, preparation for interviews, etc.. In college you also have “career closet” where they provide clothing for FREE!!! You can also get an apartment through your college too if they offer that ( ASK)!! FREE GYM MEMBERSHIP too!!! Good luck!🍀
You didn’t fuck up your life.
College helps with more than getting a better job. It helps you expand how you approach things. It will challenge your perceptions, (potentially) help you make connections, and turn you on to things you might not have explored otherwise.
It’s a good place to start if you can.
Go to a few information sessions for different schools. Talk to admissions counselors.
To find a career without college, apply to everything entry level that has no college requirements. Look into entry level government jobs because they have the most benefits.
Much of not having guidance is learning that you have to throw things at a wall to see what sticks, so start throwing. You will be ok.
21? Oh honey you’re fine. What do you like? Cars, food, computers, animals?
Few of us have it together at your age
Life isn’t over until it’s over. You have less to lose now more than ever. Give anything a shot and if that doesn’t work give something else a shot. Eventually you will find your groove.
You are going to be ok. You just have to pick a lane and stick with it. I partied a lot in my teens and when I turned 21 I decided to straighten my life out a got a job in automotive. I have 23 years in the business and make 6 figures now as a parts director for a dealership chain on the east coast. I have no education after high school. I have common sense, I am observant and a hard worker. My wife has a degree and she stays home with our 3 kids because she can’t make as much with her teaching degree as I can make in the car business. Believe me it will work out. Good luck to you.