#WorkplaceWisdom #CoWorkerLessons #ProfessionalBoundaries
Hey everyone! 😊
Have you ever had one of those moments at work where you realized that your co-workers might not actually be your friends? It’s a tough lesson to learn, but I’ve had a few eye-opening experiences that opened my eyes to this reality. Here are some situations where I definitely got a crash course in workplace relationships:
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Backstabbing and Gossip: There have been instances where I discovered that someone I thought was a friend was spreading rumors about me behind my back. It stung, but it made me realize you can’t always trust everyone at work. 😒
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Management Manipulation: I remember a time when a colleague reported a mistake I made to our manager—without even giving me a heads-up. That felt like a betrayal and taught me to be cautious with who I share my work struggles with. 😤
- Lack of Understanding: There have been days when personal issues made it tough for me to concentrate, and instead of support, some co-workers just didn’t get it. It hit home that not everyone will understand or empathize with your situation. 😞
From these experiences, I’ve learned that professional boundaries are super important! It’s crucial to maintain a level of distance to protect yourself from potential disappointments.
What do you think? Have you faced similar challenges in your workplace? 💬 I’d love to hear your stories or any tips you have for navigating these tricky waters. Let’s discuss how we can maintain professionalism while being friendly at work!
✨ Drop your thoughts below! ✨
I have intense CPTSD from this. What I have found is that the ones you least likely suspect are the most likely to be going behind your back. Having been in management in multiple places, once you get there, you realize just how fake everything and everyone is. Work is no more than being in high school while getting paid by the hour.
Our society that advocates for accountability and personal responsibility is just feeding us bullshit. Integrity and morals don’t mà tter. The only thing that matters is blaming your way to the top loudly. Anyone who tries to be your friend is gathering Intel to use to get promoted. As soon as you leave the room they’re talking about you, while not doing anything to contribute meaningfully and getting paid more to do it eventually. Being a good student doesn’t matter because nobody follows policies properly, bullying is rampant, and ageism/racism is the silent meaning behind most red tape in the workforce.
When my boss told me that the people I work with are coworkers and not my friends, I immediately understood how he saw me as a person
I used to work with a girl called Mary who was really nice to my face and wanted me to hang out with her outside of work. One day she brought me an Islamic religious book and told me it would enlighten me, I refused politely since I wasn’t interested but from that day onward I noticed I was constantly getting called up in front of the manager for things I hadn’t even done. Turns out Mary was being nice to my face but behind my back had spread rumours and would run to the manager constantly just because she no longer liked me. I never trusted anyone else there after that.
I’m still salty about the time when a supervisor came over and told me I was doing something wrong so I told her to show me how to do it. She struggled gave up and did it the way I was doing it which worked. She walked away without a word or an apology.
I worked for a horrible business before. There was the business owner, my manager, and a sales manager which pretty much ran the whole business. I was doing very well and kept my head down so they got me in their little circle. Well there was this one co-worker that kept telling the sales manager all this crap about everyone.
That sales manager went to my manager and the business owner where she told everything that person said. They were planning on firing her. One time I told this coworker to not be telling the sales manager everything, that I wouldn’t trust her. She got pissed and told me to mind my own business.
So I don’t care much for other coworkers anymore. There was also another time a section of the business I worked for that was bought out. There was this person who was under me, a sales person, who ran their mouth saying they knew the business and that my position wasn’t needed. The company that bought out our department never heard me out and just listened to this idiot who didn’t know what he was talking about.
Basically while the sales people made sales, I did everything else. I set up the entire process and while domestic was easy, intentional was complex which no sales person could even try to comprehend or attempt. So I was laid off. I found out later that they were bugging people form the company they bought a section from because no one could do intentional orders. Guess who knew how to?
Goes to show how fucking stupid coworkers and management is. Manipulation is all that matters.
So i work in a records department. It pays okay like it isn’t amazing. But my Co-workers are a bit odd with it. So we don’t have much work to do. But since I was doing the training, it was mostly me doing the work. So my two other Co-workers were on their phone or computer watching TV. They did this for a week or two. Then one day, one of the girls got bored. She was like “I wonder what happened to the charts”. Cuz there were some marked as not picked up. But apparently they were picked up by me I just forgot to mark it off cuz they had me doing everything. So of course human error.
Then she checks and realizes I made a mistake. They all lectured me one by one saying they didn’t want the issue to escalate. It was just annoying. And I don’t tell them shitt. I understand I made a mistake but yeah I don’t trust them and it made me realize they’re just co-workers. Then my manager visits and she barely visits… I thought it was odd cuz she visits every 2-months. And they told her lol. Cuz my manager spoke to me.
“Often” = 100% of the time.
My last job would openly talk about how we weren’t co-workers but actually family, it was the most abusive job I had ever been in. The manipulation and lies exceeded anything I had ever experienced. From management to the highest levels of administration functioned exactly like a Highschool.
I thankfully got out not that long ago into a job that is much better, I had near daily panic attacks from the old job and the further I get away the more I feel like I’m improving, but I am trying to be patient. I don’t think we always really account for the impact that multiple years of tolerating factors that are abhorrent really has after the fact.
Doesn’t even require being back stabbed.
When you leave the job, what do you have in common with your former coworkers?
Unless you developed a friendship and spent time doing non work stuff, nothing.
Even without assuming your coworkers are evil or backstabby, they aren’t friends and if you depend on coworkers to fill your social needs… What will you do when you retire, much less lose your job?
I went off work once because I was severely depressed and was going into unalive territory in my head daily, I gave my boss a few days notice so they wouldn’t have to scramble as much to cover my shifts, either her or one other colleague starting talking S*** behind my back almost immediately saying that I “looked fine” etc etc
I was fired almost two years ago from a RV warranty job because I posted a super vague question about the legality of not receiving OT (which didn’t even have the company name in it) to my personal and private FB which can’t be seen by anyone but friends.
I had stupidly befriended two people from the company that I directly worked with, so I knew exactly which one it was when the GM brought a printed copy of the FB post to the termination meeting.
Coworkers are definitely not your friends. Even if they seem like someone you can trust, just don’t. Especially if you live in a state where you can be fired for anything and the company can get away with it.
This incident also occurred the day after my parents were nearly killed by a DUI driver. GM knew, apologized at the start of the meeting, then fired me less than a minute later.
Again, the post didn’t mention the company name, and my FB is and has been completely friends only for over a decade.
Work made me realize that I am just a bad judge of character. Everyone I thought was cool, ended up disappointing me.
They’re not. I’ve learned that the hard way.
I no longer try to make friendships at my workplace. I come in and do my job to the best of my ability. Manage the individuals on my team so they can succeed and at the end of the day I’m out. There’s no emotional commitment to anyone.
It’s strictly business.
Not enough time in the day.
getting assaulted by an ex navy eod was fun.
at least he claimed he was eod.
If you’re trying to sniff out a snitch, try what Tyrion did on Game of Thrones. Never tried it, but would love to unveil a double-edged coworker with this trick:Â
Currently dealing with passive aggressive bullying from a coworker. She is bcc-ing my boss on all emails to me. I only know this bc another coworker just last week gave me a heads up after I was crying in my office (door closed but I said she could come in). I am still learning and doing my best with what training I’ve been given. Sure my adhd sometimes gets the best of me but I still provide quality work. She just has it out for me. And she’s so nice to my face. It’s so disheartening
Yes, but you (or at least I) have to understand that keeping their jobs is directly tied to caring for their families’ basic or extraordinary needs such as specialist healthcare. But mostly it’s food, housing, basic necessities at risk if they lose their jobs. And what I found was people have different personalities at work. At work they’re fake, smiling, pretenIding and sometimes yes helpful because I believe at their core they are good people. But when it becomes a choice between you and them keeping the job/getting the recognition, it’s basically dog eat dog. And I just stay the fuck out of the way now.
And it has gotten worse the last few years. People trying to get in the spotlight, steal your work/responsibilities so they can get noticed or show they’re worthy. I’m just sitting here every day thinking I’m about to be fired, as for instance in my case two people have angled for and gotten some of my responsibilities in the last year. I do not condone the behavior and will not get caught up in it, but I don’t blame anyone like this. It’s the system. Our basic needs shouldn’t be tied to work.
There has been a change in society especially in the last 20 years. As management have always had each other’s backs and close ranks against their underling workers at any sign of trouble, Ground floor workers would usually look out for each other and have each other’s backs to a degree. Now your co workers will happily stitch you up without a second thought and be happy about it. Working in education in the UK I’m shocked at how people are always looking to stab their colleagues in the back.
Had a former coworker send screenshots of my conversations with him to my boss after he quit apparently in an attempt to get me fired. These texts were rather salacious in regards to my feelings about my boss. I’ve since been promoted but I learned your work homie isn’t always a homie.
I had a staff work with my supervisor to get me demoted and themselves promoted to my spot, then got pissy that my supervisor wasn’t any easier to deal with than they were before I was backstabbed (surprise!). Also, I jumped ship for another company after the backstabber banished me to night shift. You don’t get to complain that I didn’t give you notice when you behave like that.
That’s why I don’t bring anything personal to my office, no desk toys, no photos, books or any other things only a water bottle.
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I was an Inventory Manager for a cellphone service provider, and was good at it. Our inventory was usually right on, and I created a practice for storage that Regional Management said was a “Best Practice.”
One of the Sales Reps asked me to do something that would mess up my counts. (Give her stuff for free for her customers to make her look good.) I refused. Posted on Facebook about it later, not naming names, but expressing disgust with her. Another Sales Rep saw it and told the Sales Manager and Store Manager. I got raked over the coals for the old “team player” b.s. and Miss Gimme pig wasn’t even spoken to. Never trusted those people again, and they wondered why. I just retreated to my space and minimized contact until I was downsized.
No there not ,work colleges at best .Friends no
Never did and never will believe they are my friends. Do not care. Work in a high demand field. Could get another job in 72hrs. Might not be ideal but could continue paying the bills.
Never your friends
Never
Never tell them anything private, infact keep it to morning and bye