#MeToo: Sharing Experiences of Sexual Harassment by Women
Have you ever been sexually harassed by a woman? What happened? π
As the #MeToo movement continues to shed light on the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault, it’s important to acknowledge that these experiences can happen to anyone, regardless of gender. While much of the discourse around #MeToo has focused on the experiences of women at the hands of men, it’s crucial to recognize that men can also be victims of sexual harassment, and that women can also be perpetrators.
In this article, we’ll explore the topic of sexual harassment by women, sharing personal experiences, examining the impact of gender dynamics, and offering resources for those who have been affected.
Personal Experiences: Stories of Sexual Harassment by Women
– “I was working at a retail job and one of my female colleagues would constantly make inappropriate comments about my appearance and would touch me without my consent. I didn’t feel comfortable reporting it because I was worried I wouldn’t be taken seriously.”
– “I was at a party and a woman I didn’t know started making unwanted advances towards me. When I declined her advances, she became aggressive and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Understanding the Impact: Gender Dynamics and Power
While it’s often assumed that men are the perpetrators of sexual harassment, it’s important to recognize that women can also wield power in ways that make men vulnerable to harassment.
– Society’s expectations of masculinity can make it difficult for men to speak out about their experiences of sexual harassment, amplifying feelings of shame and emasculation.
– Gender stereotypes can also perpetuate the notion that men should always be willing and eager for sexual advances, which can make it challenging for men to assert their boundaries and say no without facing backlash.
Resources and Support for Men who have Experienced Sexual Harassment
If you have been sexually harassed by a woman, know that you are not alone. There are support and resources available to help you navigate these experiences and heal from the trauma.
– Seek out a trusted friend or family member to confide in, who can provide emotional support and lend a listening ear.
– Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and sexual harassment. Professional support can be invaluable in processing the emotional impact of harassment and developing coping strategies.
Moving Forward: Breaking the Silence and Challenging Stereotypes
It’s important to continue to elevate the voices of men who have experienced sexual harassment, challenging the stigma and stereotypes that can make it difficult for men to come forward. By creating a culture of accountability and support, we can work towards a future where all individuals feel empowered to speak out against harassment, regardless of the gender of the perpetrator.
In conclusion, the experiences of men who have been sexually harassed by women are often overlooked or dismissed. By shining a light on these experiences, offering support and resources, and advocating for a more inclusive conversation around sexual harassment, we can help create a world where all individuals feel safe and respected.
If you have been affected by sexual harassment, don’t hesitate to seek support and speak out about your experiences. You deserve to be heard, believed, and supported. Together, we can create a more inclusive and empathetic society for all.
I was passed out on the couch at a party and woke up to a chick literally giving me a bj. I yelled “What the f**k!” And threw her off. She then tried to say i was a woman beater.
Think most guys have lol. Women are just held to a different standard. The way they flirt is literally sexual assault in my experience, not that I care really.
Iβve had my ass grabbed, nudes shared/leaked, my arms were felt up, shoulder rubbed, dick sucked, and coerced into sex. Nobody cares. βBoohoo you had sexβ soβ¦.ehh. Why bring it up.
I had my shirt ripped and finger nail marks across my chest by someone who cornered me at work. I showed some coworker who blabbed to HR, they wanted to call the police after they saw my chest. I said no, but she got fired and escorted off the premises.
I was assaulted by my friendβs older sister when I was 14.
Ive had literally just about everything happen but r word, mostly woman, but occasionally men who some how think I am gay. included roofied (by male )
I could elaborate but Iβd rather not.
As someone else pointed out, it did affect me a little bit in the moment, but Iβd be lying if I said i ever bring it up, you look like a huge pussy and people just donβt care to be frank, not complaining just stating reality.
Was at a club for a friends birthday party. I was 22ish. Now including that night at the club I would say Iβve spent oh 1 night in a club. Iβm sitting at a table just having a drink and a girl walks up, sits down next to me and proceeds to aggressively rub my dick.
Told my gf at the time about it because 1) felt gross as fuck and 2) was committed to her so didnβt want something getting back to her and she says βa girl rubbed your dick are you bragging?β
We didnβt last long after that.
Woman grabbed my face kissed me, gave my some kind of hpv disease,
A bunch of times, usually groping or continuing unwanted advances. Worst one that I can remember was a woman who was drunk at a bar who tried to slip her hands down my pants to try and grab my cock before the bouncer stepped in and separated us.
Was playing video games with my friend in his room. His roommate had some friends over too and were watching a movie in the front room. Suddenly a girl came up behind me and started bouncing her boobs on my shoulders and mocking me for playing video games, “Wouldn’t you rather play with *these*?”
It was awkward as hell, and even if I had been into it her boyfriend was in the other room watching and laughing.
She said βoh my god.. Iβve had the old bullβ¦ now I want the young calfββ¦ and she grabbed me by the wiener.
As a bouncer, I get my ass and dick grabbed all the time by drunk females.
Pretty minor but when I was in my very early 20s I worked at a grocery store, and a lot of the older woman both workers and shoppers would hit on me fairly shamelessly. One costumer once asked my age, and when I told her, said something along the lines of ‘you’re younger than my son but I still would’, and one of the women who worked in the bakery would try to pinch/tickle me whenever she walked by
So people kind of give me mixed feelings on how I should feel about it, but my first time having sex with someone I was basically coerced into it. A lot of “c’mon you know you want to” and “just be a man” and all kinds of ego attacks after I had said no multiple times. Personally I think the fact that I finally said yes kind of makes this more of not a sexually harassed moment, but when I tell people about it they all kind of have the same reaction as I was taken advantage of so I’m not very sure how to feel about it.
I had a woman ask me to give her a lift home after a event, didnβt think much of it and agreed, half way through the journey she starts to flirt and then all of a sudden just grabs my dickβ¦.i was shocked to say the least. Literally felt like kicking her out the car.
Hospitality worker here. Last month a guest called from room 2422 saying the tv was not working. So I went and knocked, as the door opens a Colombian gal wearing a sports bra and spandex opens the door with 2 fingers in her pussy.
I reported this to my manager and had to write an incident report and that was that. What pisses me off the most is that if a woman knocked and a man answered the door jerking off, he would have been arrested, charges filed, detectives on scene etc.
Multiple times at work helping middle aged women. Doing my job by helping them and they just casually grab and feel up my arm. First time it happened I was really shocked and grossed out
HR lady at work was making sexual comments to me and I just brushed them off. One day she said something in front of my boss and she had a talking to and thatβs about it. Sheβs still there and still HR, shit was awkward for a month and now itβs like it never happened.
I had a boss feel up my arm once when I was lifting something and when I reacted awkwardly (not aggressively or confrontational) they later decided to try to spin it to her boss and his boss that I was the one being inappropriate – I wasn’t even going to escalate it either. I don’t know whether they believed my character over hers or checked the cameras or both, but their opinion of her sank and she left the job quickly after that.
I had a guy friend who came home sick when he was 13.
His mom left him with their 34yo neighbor and went to work. The neighbor climbed in bed with him and raped him (though he refuses to call it that because βshe was nice and hotβ and, more importantly, **everyone heβd shared the story with just gave him a high five and acted like heβd won the goddamn lottery**).
5 years later he was passed out in a spare bedroom, at a friendβs house, during a high school party. Woke up to a girl riding him.
The weird thing is we KNOW the girl. She went to our school. She was (or seemed like) one of the nicest girls in our class.
And Iβll bet, in her demented mind, she did nothing wrong π
Was at a bar and this random drunk girl just started rubbing and bumping her ass right into me and trying to grind on me. If I was single I would have gone along with this but I wasn’t so I tried walking away and she just started trying to grab and kiss me and literally wouldn’t stop until I threatened to push her to the ground. Then she called me an asshole and started crying and the bouncer asked me to leave.
I was just like “What in the fuck?”.
Gotta love crazy clubs on Friday.
Actually just the other day this weird girl came and sat next to me at the bar scooted real close and said βyou totally wanna fuck meβ and uhh I did not. And she proceeded to not leave me alone. Luckily a lady friend of mine walked in and I whispered to her to fucking save me from that mess. Lol
Yes, it was a friend. Had to kick her out of my house and drive her home after wrestling her off me while she cried about how bad of a person and friend I was being for treating her like leprous wretch and not having sex with her. Was not able to sleep in my bed for a week after that.
Multiple times. Full-on assaulted, but nothing happened. A woman I still work with shoved her tobacco tongue in my mouth and grabbed my dick in front of other coworkers 10 years ago. I’m married. The gossip still exists. “Oh, that sounds like Liz!!!”
When I was younger I was going to meet up with a buddy to go to a bar downtown. He lived in a university residence and we met there to take the c-train downtown. As we were leaving the res we passed 2 girls going the opposite way and one of them grabbed my ass. I didn’t find either of them very attractive so I just kept walking and one of them shouted at us “Fine, fuck you then”
Older woman at work started calling me her lion and make very overly flirtatious borderline sexual comments, all my coworkers tried to get me to go along with it but it made me incredibly uncomfortable I reported it to HR and to give them credit it stopped but almost everyone in the office started treating me like some social outcast. I handed in my 2 weeks notice 3 months later and used up my 2 weeks holiday.
I was 17 and had lost my virginity cause of peer pressure. Got verbally assaulted and hit on by an older chick who insisted that the second time would be me truly losing my virginity. I had to make an excuse of friends doing blow in my parents bathroom to get her off of me. Fuck her. She said I was racist cause I turned her down.
A young co-worker once asked me, “How do you know when you’ve met the right one?” I gave her a quick answer that there is not necessarily a ‘right one’, but that there are certainly ‘wrong ones’, and it’s more about committing to someone you are compatible with. Anyway, she wanted to talk about it at length, which I said wasn’t appropriate at work since we are supposed to be working, but I’d be happy to talk more at lunch if she wanted. We ended up going to the McDonald’s across the road from our office and I just expanded upon the point I’d already made.
Two weeks later, I got a call from our HR letting me know that she’d made a sexual harassment claim against me, WTF!? Anyway, I’d known the HR person for 25 years as we started at the company together and everyone new this young woman was a troubled soul, so I told HR what had happened and I didn’t hear anything more of it.
Incidentally, I later found out she’d had sex with another work colleague in the toilets at that same McDonald’s a couple of months earlier and all the young people in the company knew about it. Who knows what was going on inside her head. Maybe she was expecting the same from me and this was punishment, or she’d mixed things up and remembered it as being me.
Used to happen to me all the time, in a manufacturing facility in my late 20βs (41m). I was a QC inspector on night shift and we had roughly 25% female employment on the factory, many of which were ladies in their 50βs and 60βs. I was routinely cat called, invited βout to the carβ, comments about my physical appearance and my ass got pinched a few times.
Yes. Many times. I’ve had women feel me up in public and tell me I should be proud or that I should expect it because of my bulge. I’ve had women make comments about what I’m “packing” and outright ask me how big I am while we’re in public settings. I’ve had complete strangers offer themselves to me in very forward, blatant, explicit manners and get upset and verbally abusive when I act disgusted by them.
They act like I’m insane if I don’t appreciate their touching, their “compliments,” and their desires. The worst part of all this, however, is that I need to be careful of how I react because it is so easy for them to make a false accusation or simply shout “pervert” should I react too harshly. And, of course, society isn’t going to be on my side in that instance. Assumptions will be made.
I remember in middle school there was this girl that loves saying hi by grabbing me by the ballsβ¦. I guess we were all young and donβt understand the boundariesβ¦
Groped twice that I can recall.
I was in a club in Amsterdam, I was dancing and this woman grabbed my dick, when I turned my body to get her off. She pulled my arm to try and keep me there. When I shrugged her arm off, she seemed to get the hint. While technically sexual assault, this woman did appear rather intoxicated so I told myself she’ll probably be horrified the next day.
The other time, I was sitting on a bench and this woman came and sat next to me. She started chatting about how she was bored, her husband works long hours. It felt a pretty normal conversation and I thought she was just friendly. Then she grabs my dick and before she can say anything, I snapped “I’m waiting for my boyfriend, get the fuck off me.” She sorta half-arse said sorry but calmly got up and walked away like it was nothing. This one was gross because the woman seemed older than my mum and I was only 19.
I told my friends about the second one. One of them made a joke until I made it clear every part of me wanted to hit her but I knew I’d be considered the aggressor. Those were the only physical times.
I’ve been harassed a few times. One of the most strange ones, a female friend of mine and I went drinking. We were broke students so we could only afford to share a hotel room in London. After a night of drinking. We head back and try to go to sleep. I immediately said “If you pass me one of those pillows, there was a spare blanket in the wardrobe I’ll sleep on the floor.” She replied “You don’t have to do that.” I said “Probably for the best I do. The bed is small and (ex bf name) says I steal covers and fidget”. She said “Why don’t you get to bed with me? We could have fun.” I said “Steph. Wtf? You know I’m gay and I have a partner. You’re drunk, go to sleep.” She replied “But you’re always so nice and you’re a good looking man.” I replied “Mate, even if I wanted to, which I don’t, I’ve never got an erection over a woman. Let alone after booze. You’re my friend, nothing more” She angrily said “Fine then. Sleep on the floor.” I said “Night mate” and she ignored me. The next day I thought it was best if we didn’t acknowledge the situation. Until I heard some days later she had told my boyfriend and best friend I tried to pressure her into sharing a bed with me. I confronted her about this. I said to her in a group setting “Why are you telling people I tried to pressure you into sharing a bed with me? We both know that didn’t happen. I thought you were drunk and lonely. Now I think you’re a liar and a cunt. I don’t want to see you again.” She actually cried and tried to say she’s sorry she was just really hurt. I didn’t even make eye contact or acknowledge her. She kept trying to text me after and a mutual male friend tried to pressure me into forgiving her because apparently she took my ending our friendship really hard. I never did though.
Yup. While waiting for the elevator in my apartment building a group of college aged girls walked in on a bender and one of them slapped my ass as hard as she could and when I reacted she said βthatβs the best youβll ever get, buddy.β It was absolutely surreal. I now always stand by my opinion that upper middle class bankrolled college girls are absolute shit human beings. Jokes on her tho.. Iβm now married to a beautiful, successful wife and sheβs the best.
She drugged me and we had sex. I’m assuming the drugged part because I was a heavy drinker and after 1 drink at her place I was black out. Not sure if my intentions were to sleep with her or not.
At my former job the accounts payable lady went through a divorce and was having a hard time of it. One day she was looking for a box of records for an audit they were going through and she couldnβt find them and was in a panic. I went over to the warehouse where the boxes records were kept and finally found it and brought it back over. She thanked me over and over and hugged me. The next day I got a text about an hour after work. It was her sending me pictures of herself in a bikini in her hot tub. I messaged that she sent them to the wrong person and got no response. A couple of days later I got another text and it was a picture of her topless and it said thank you for helping me out. I told her to please stop (Iβd been at my job for 20 years and donβt want to lose it and Iβve been married a long time and donβt need murdered in my sleep by my wife). She sent me another picture of her in a different bikini and said she was just really lonely and I told her stop or I was going to block her and report her at work. That was the end of it for about three months and then one day she sends me a picture of her ass in the mirror with a text about wanting to come over some morning for breakfast. On Monday I reported it to HR and showed the HR lady the texts and they disciplined the woman but did not terminate her. I left the company a year later and as soon as I was gone she tried to add me on Facebook and I blocked her.
Took me years to realize I had a few. Probably more that haven’t dawned on me…
First was in highschool, a friend of mine invited herself over since I lived next to the school and we had to be back later for band practice. She asked to see what my room was like, and I didn’t think twice. Next I knew she was kissing me with her hands down my pants. We were both in relationships and were friends with each other’s significant others. I felt like I’d cheated and told my girlfriend, who agreed with me. Lost 2 friends and a nice relationship.
2nd was a girl I’d really liked and had wanted to date but we were never single at the same time. She invited me over to watch a game, and that sounded great. She was drinking a beer when I got there and had one to offer to me (we were both underage but not exactly new to drinking). I had less than half the beer, and later woke up on her floor. My pants were down and hers were off. Never found out what happened, but thought it must have been great and continued to try to date her for another 5-6 years.
Last was after college. I’d just been through a breakup and had a wedding with an open bar. I took full advantage of that bar to the point that my ‘date’ (friend) left me there. I happened to get a text from a girl I kinda knew from commuting from work on the train. She said she was sad and needed a hug, I told her I would have but drank too much and was going to bed. (Shouldn’t have driven). Dropped my phone in a toilet or puddle somewhere in the process. I forgot she had my address from a bonfire a few months before. She showed up IN MY ROOM and I still assumed I must have invited her. Gave her her hug then rolled back to sleep. I woke up about 30 minutes later to her putting me in her raw. Again, assumed I must have led her on, etc. wasn’t actually sure it really happened until I woke up the next morning and she was still there. I later found out she had a boyfriend. This was about 10 years ago and they’re now married with kids.
I donβt consider it sexual harassment. But. I work hard on my body. Especially squats. So my ass is pretty nice. I was at the pool one day and a woman walked by and grabbed, GRABBED, my ass. I took it as a compliment. But it was most likely sexual harassment.
I was raped in college, but since Iβm a male who got around pretty frequently everyone just thought it was funny and would joke about it.
Truth is I passed out after a date party and have witnesses that tell me she (not my date, a random who I had met at a bar one time and had absolutely zero interest in) literally dragged me to a room and locked the door. I came to the next morning when she was on top of me and we were both naked. I literally threw her off me and got dressed and like ran out.
I still have bad dreams/panic attacks about it. Kind of like being paralyzed and having no control around me.
Is what it is.
In middle school a girl grabbed my junk as we passed by each other. Another constantly did shit like flash her tits at me in class. That coupled with my dad giving intimate details about my mom’s affairs gave me pretty crippling trust and anxiety issues regarding females. Been 30 years since those things and I’m in a good place with a wonderful partner.
Yeah this 40 plus woman (edit: I was like 19 at the time) kept linking arms with me and grabbing my biceps, making silly comments that were deffo innuendo about how she needs a young strong man in her life, etc. Like fuck off bitch. Idc if you say you’re just playing, don’t make me feel so uncomfortable when I’m just standing here with my own circle of ppl. Salty as all hell about the rejection too.
Fucked up in highschool, house party. Chick started doming me up on the couch for no reason. She always would hit on me, but I didn’t like her.
Then in my late 20s had a border line stalker who’d always try to catch me faded at my local bars I’d frequent. One night I was so gone, she showed up at my house, barged in.. and fucked me stupid and slurped me til I shook. From then on she was on the hunt every night for me. Had to block her number and all her socials. Didn’t matter she’d show up wherever she saw my car. In my town there’s like 12 bars close to each other. She’d always find me. And try to c block me everytime I was on dates.
WILD
I went to a walk-in clinic for an ear infection while I was visiting my parents. The doctor was a young woman, she was really jokey and touchy. Ok, just friendly. Then she made a joke about something and grabbed my inner thigh. I decided to pretend it didn’t happen and just proceed with the doctor appointment. She did the same joke, laugh & grab move again, and I just pretended it didn’t happen again. She didn’t touch me again during the appointment after I didn’t react the second time.
I left the appointment with the ear drops I needed, and was like “what the fuck was that, did that happen?” While wondering this, I gave my parents a call to let them know how my ear stuff went. Then I felt something hit my back. I turned around, and it was the young woman doctor again. She’d.. punched, or whacked me or something in the back. I only remember her expression, I think she thought it was playful/flirty/fun? I don’t know what I looked like, probably as baffled/confused/defensive as someone on the phone who’s just been punched in the back can look. I just know she serioused up and then turned around and walked away without a word.
If she hadn’t followed me out to the parking lot to punch me (?) then I still would be questioning whether the appointment stuff happened at all. It was all so strange. I just wanted to fix my ear infection, man.
Edit: Compared to the rest of the stories of serious assault here, mine just seems like small potatoes. This didn’t effect me beyond giving me a strange story to tell, but I hope the rest of you all are doing ok.
Many times. I have experiences all across the gradient, the most shocking was probably when I was about 16.
My girlfriends cousin was always really close to me physically. Putting her head on my lap, just generally strange behavior for the cousin of the girl I’m dating. One day we were alone and she straight up groped me. It was so strange and sudden that I questioned whether or not it even happened at the time.
It was a different time back then, I think that type of thing didn’t have the same connotation it does today. I also harbor no ill will towards her. In a parallel universe I would have married that girl, sadly dating her cousin dropped a hand grenade into that whole fiasco.
I have.
I was at a Flaming Lips concert with my mother. It was in a venue with shit AC/ventilation on a hot night so I went to the bar to grab us a couple of bottles of cold water while she held our spots (she’s a huge fan).
At the bar there was a much older and exceptionally drunk woman (at least 25 years older than I was). I first knew she existed when she grabbed a handful of my ass from behind. As I turned around to see who’d just grabbed me I knocked a plate off of the bar that had one of those little containers of tartare or similar sauce on it. A little bit of the sauce splashed onto the older womans legs and she thrust one towards me and slurred something about me licking it off.
I’m pretty fuckin’ awkward and didn’t want to offend her (make her feel unattractive or w/e) and have only had to decline an advance a few times so I shyly said something along the lines of “oh I wish I could but my partner would be most unimpressed” and turned away, thinking that’d be the end of it.
One second later the bartender had reached me and as I ordered the water the woman pulled my shorts and underwear halfway down, fully exposing my penis. I instinctively turned around and shoved her away (using SO little force, I’d apply this kind of force to an 80 year old and not expect damage) but she was extremely drunk so of course she wobbled and fell. Because the bartender had no vision/knowledge of her assaulting me he contacted security who weren’t even remotely interested in hearing my explanation so I was kicked out and missed a concert I’d been looking forward to for months.
Frequently. Dick grabs were the most common, drunken groping was pretty frequent when I worked bar, but at one party I had a woman – to be clear, a complete stranger – come up and *bite* me, scratch me with her fingernails, and run away. This was her idea of flirting.
I’ve also had flashers, including one club girl who pushed her hot pants to one side and bent over, then chastised me for not immediately fucking her against the bar, and said “too bad, you lost your chance.” Like, bitch, what chance. What even is this. I cannot make this shit up.
I also had a landlady make a pass at me, then throw me out a week later when I turned her down. Pretty sure that counts as a rape attempt (power imbalance) or would if I were the woman in that scenario.
Context: I am *not* especially attractive. But I worked in a tourist trap town and did things like run street teams and did venue promotion, worked as a bartender, server, bouncer, etc., and played in a band. We even made money a few times. So I had constant exposure to women wilding out. I’m sure my experiences are not typical. That said, the idea that women cannot be every bit as rapey as men is absurd to me. They totally can. I’ve lived it.
Not directly answering the question, but just thought I should share. Ive been going to AA and NA for years now. Sexual abuse towards men is extremely common, (obviously) very traumatic, and RARELY talked about or taken seriously. Any man who has experienced sexual harassment, or abuse your feelings are completely valid. It’s a shame how society stigmatizes sex crimes against men
i feel like just about every woman I know has a story about being molested, groped, SAβd, etc. So itβs truly crazy to me that some women are able to turn around and do the same to men. the Cognitive dissonance is strong.
In the US, only in the past few decades have we really been addressing how commonplace and normalized sexual assault against women is, but only in the past few years have people been talking about sexual assault against men. I hope we can all work together to end the normalization of SA for victims of any gender.