#Infidelity #MarriageAdvice #TrustIssues #AffairRecovery #RelationshipHelp
Hey there, I can understand how difficult and confusing this situation must be for you. Uncovering your wife’s affair can be heart-wrenching, but it’s commendable that you’re looking for a way to move forward. It’s important to approach this with a level head and seek the right guidance to ensure that you’re making the best decisions for yourself and your family. Let’s dive into some steps and advice that can help you navigate through this challenging time.
**1. Communication is Key**
Open and honest communication is crucial at this point. Have a heartfelt conversation with your wife about your concerns and fears. It’s important to express how her actions have affected you and the marriage. Encourage her to be transparent and honest about the affair and what steps she’s taking to end it.
**2. Seek Professional Help**
Consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or marriage counselor. Professional help can provide a safe space for both you and your wife to express your emotions, understand the root of the issue, and work on rebuilding trust. A neutral third party can offer valuable insights and tools for moving forward.
**3. Set Boundaries**
It’s essential for your wife to set clear and firm boundaries with the person she had the affair with. Limiting or cutting off all contact with the individual is crucial in showing her commitment to ending the affair. Discuss the importance of this step and ensure that she understands the gravity of maintaining these boundaries.
**4. Rebuilding Trust**
Rebuilding trust takes time, patience, and effort from both parties. Your wife needs to demonstrate sincere remorse and a strong commitment to earning back your trust. It’s important for her to understand that actions speak louder than words, and consistent efforts in rebuilding the marriage are essential.
**5. The Principle of Karma**
According to the principles of the Bhagavad Gita, every action has consequences. It’s important for your wife to understand that her actions have caused pain and suffering, not just to you but to the other person and his family as well. Encourage her to reflect on the impact of her actions and make amends by embodying virtues such as honesty, integrity, and compassion towards all parties involved.
**6. Complete Transparency**
Your wife should be willing to be completely transparent about her whereabouts, communication, and activities. This level of transparency can help in rebuilding trust and alleviating any lingering doubts or suspicions.
**7. Evaluating the Other Person’s Commitment**
It’s crucial to consider the sincerity of the other person in ending the affair. If he’s married and his wife is unaware of the situation, it’s essential for him to take responsibility and ensure that the affair is genuinely over. Encourage your wife to have a frank conversation with him about the need to respect both marriages and prioritize ethical choices.
In conclusion, navigating through the aftermath of an affair is undeniably challenging. However, with open communication, professional guidance, setting boundaries, and a sincere commitment to rebuilding trust, it’s possible to move forward and heal the marriage. Remember, it’s okay to seek support from friends and family during this time as well.
Ultimately, it’s important to approach this with compassion and empathy for both yourself and your wife. It’s a journey towards forgiveness, healing, and creating a stronger foundation for your marriage.
I hope this advice has provided some clarity and direction for you. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and take things one step at a time. Stay strong, and I wish you the best on this journey of healing and rebuilding trust. 🌟
#AffairRecovery #MarriageCounseling #RebuildingTrust #RelationshipHealing #BhagavadGitaWisdom
There absolutely needs to be zero communication between him and your wife, as well as between him and you. Zero. Which means no attending the birthday dinner at all
Don’t go to the dinner and distance yourself from them if she doesn’t tell his wife
My advice. Divorce your wife,. tell his wife. Fuck them both. There is absolutely nothing she can do to regain your trust.
It is over
Belive me. I was also married, with kids, 8 years. There is nothing to be done but divorce.
There are a million red flags here, and a lot of unanswered questions.
1. How long had the affair been going on and how did you find out?
2. Do you intend to continue a relationship with this couple (the birthday dinner?)?
3. Can you live with a relationship in which you will always wonder if she is cheating?
4. Why do you pose the resolution of this betrayal as . . . “She wants to stay with me and claims to have ended the affair,” as if the choice to continue the marriage is merely one-sided . . . hers?
If you answer that the betrayal is years and multiple instances, I would be very hesitant to ever continue this marriage as you have to understand that her desire to be with him each and every time outweighed her feelings of loyalty to and love for you.
If you answer that it was a mistake that happened a couple of times only recently, then I may ponder other things before coming to advice for you.
But the other big red flag with all of this is that “you discovered the cheating” and if you had not how long would it have continued? Is there the slightest chance that the reason she wants to end the affair (possibly) and stay with you is that she cannot admit to the wife, her friend, what she has been doing with her husband? Did she ask that you not reveal this to the wife?
If you answer yes to the last question, and that the affair has gone on a long time, I see no hope in this relationship lasting. She has compromised something essential in her moral code that I am not sure she is in a position to regain, or perhaps you really never knew her, and this is just a part of who she is.
You will literally never feel comfortable in this relationship ever again
You should tell the dudes wife. Actually, your wife should be the one to tell it. This will probably end things between them permenantly and it will show you that your wife is 100% serious about being with you and only you.
I’d leave her and tell his wife. She knew what she was risking when she made the choice she did and you’re totally right that she is leaving a door open between them. I’d put money that if you broke up she’d go right back to him. It hurts to hear but I feel like that thought is nagging you in the back of your mind and it is better to face it now than to ignore it for another ten years until it happens again
Tell her affair partner’s wife and take your cues from her. You seem to think it might actually be over between them when it’s actually over between you. It’s her job to rebuild trust, not yours. If it doesn’t feel like she is putting effort into it, she’s not. She’s just refining methods of covering it.
First of all – ask, no TELL, your wife that if sgmhe expect you to believe in her xommitment to you and your marriage it starts with what shes prepared to do to repair.
To start with
– your wife tells HIS wife if the affair. With you as witness.
– complete honesty about the affair, written timeline: when/how/where/how often/who initiated it.
– NO CONTACT TO THE GUY
– open device policy going forward, NO MORE DELETING MSG!!
– therapy for her now, later (perhaps) MC
Do not accept less than the things listed.
Do not rugsweep this – you will regret it forever.
Get STD tests NOW, both of you.
Any kids?? Paternity tests now, and your wife arranges it!!
Seek attorney now – to see your options and get advice.
Best of luck…
One possible route
if you want to confirm that this has ended. And that she is totally over it and remorseful, She needs to confess to his wife in front of you.
However, this is where you have issues.
Does infidelity make any difference to a divorce for you. For where I live, it does not, so evidence is useless. He will still have everything on his socials and phone, so his wife should be able to get it. Men are usually dumb when it comes to hiding infidelity.
so what I would do if i was you. drive you and your wife to his house, and tell her either she tells her about the affair in front if you or you do anyway and you get a divorce.
See when his wife finds out, she has the ability to ruin his life, so your wife becomes enemy number one, he will distance so fast.
It also gives you definitive answers based on actions words are useless. If she doesn’t want to, then she has no interest in regaining your trust more protectove of him.
If she does, she is probably truly remorseful and willing to accept the consequences for her shitty behaviour.
It’s pure selfish behaviour.
First if she is sorry she needs to tell
Her family everything and tell your family then same and close friends she also needs to tell the AP wife or GF . If she won’t then you know she is. Sorry . If she is truly sorry she will
Know this will show she is accountable . You can ask for all
Her passwords for social media and put something on devices .
And you could also hide a VAR in the car. Seems like a lot of work when you can just leave and start over . Hard at first but gets better and you feel
Good about yourself and slowly rebuild
You can’t be sure. She’s a liar and a cheater.
The affair partner’s wife deserves to know, btw.
Why are you going to dinner at their house?
Tell his wife: sorry, we aren’t coming to dinner because your husband has been fucking my wife. I wish you the best but we should no longer be in contact.
She’s sorry they got caught is all. She’s still fucking the dude and he is not your friend. Get evidence, lawyer up, separate finances and ruin both their worlds and reputations. If he’s married tell his wife.
Also, I would not trust the guilt and remorse. If she truly felt bad about it, she never would have signed off with the heart emoji. That means a lot more than you might think. What I see is, she still desires him.
The only way an affair could be forgivable would be if the partner clearly did not have feelings for their AP. That is clearly not true here.
It’s ended when you leave her ass.
If anything, she has learned her lesson.
To be better at hiding it the next time round. They always do.
If you wanna end the affair then, expose it to everyone so that she can feel with the shame. Every single day that people around her love ones. No how much she hurt you and shamed your marriage
Tell thd guys wife.
I don’t think this affair has ended if hes not blocked and just restricted
DO NOT GO TO THIS GUY’S PARTY!!! That sends the signal you’re ok with him nailing your wife. Screw his marriage, don’t let the two of them rug sweep this.
Ask her if she’s ok with outing their affair. If not, then there’s a good chance that her ending it was just a smoke screen to drive them further underground.
How did you find out about their affair? If she freely confessed to you, there’s a chance there. If you found out and confronted her, they’re just biding their time till they start back up.
Only her bringing this out in the light of day will demonstrate she wants to fix things. The AP’s wife deserves to know she’s married to a POS cheater too.
By not telling the wife you are taking away her autonomy. Your wife had an affair and you CHOSE to stay in the marriage and work on your relationship. She deserves that same choice as you had.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I agree with those saying she needs to admit to the wife in front of you. It can be as simple as a phone call put on speaker while you sit there. Same with the guy she cheated with. She needs to call him, on speaker, and tell him it is over and never to contact her again.
She also needs to out herself to her parents, your parents, and anyone else in your life that you tell her to. I always say that if you don’t want others to know about it you shouldn’t be doing it so maybe having to tell family members will drive home the damage she’s done.
I would also advise you to do a post-nuptial. Like a prenup but it details how assets/custody/etc. would be allocated if she cheats again.
She needs to completely block him on FB, any other social media she has, her phone and any other avenue of communication they had.
I’m going to be honest; even if she never does it again and does everything you ask, you may never be able to trust her again. 4-5 months of cheating is a long time to keep choosing to go behind your back.
The only reason she stopped was because you found out, not because she wanted to end it.
Tell his wife. Because she has a right to know but also because your wife’s reaction to that news is going to give you a good indication of how serious she is about rebuilding your marriage.
This could end your marriage. Your wife and her AP could end up together if his wife starts the process of divorce. But if that’s the case, they would have continued cheating if you’d said nothing.
Take his wife out for coffee, tell her as gently and kindly as you can – she like you is innocent in this – and let your wife’s AP be the one to tell your wife he’s been exposed. It’s entirely possible he will be furious at her, and that might help cement their break.
Dude. Grow a pair and leave this situation. Tell the dude’s wife as well. Block all of them and move on. No way in hell I’m going to that man’s house for dinner after sleeping with my woman. You all can do better for yourself. I break up with woman for far less than this. I can’t believe you’re thinking of continuing. Why? Why would you continue trying to love someone who clearly doesn’t love you back?
Why you expect loyalty from cheater.
Why you forgive cheater.
Why you are not expose cheaters to everyone.
Why you all of them fooling that AP wife.
Let’s be honest here. She didn’t have a one night stand. She had an affair! Why do you care what she wants? Did she think of you every time she decided to cheat on you? Lawyer up.
She didn’t end it. She put it on pause. The deleted message probably reads, “Have to lay low for a while, I’ll message when things cool down.” Hence the response, “Oh ok, I’ll be here for you.”
She’s not done cheating on you. Either leave or prepare yourself for a years long cheating situation
Go to the birthday dinner together, tell your friends wife about the affair her husband had with your wife, drop divorce papers down on the table infront of your wife and walk out and don’t look back