“How can I help guys feel comfortable being vulnerable with me, despite societal expectations? #Vulnerability #Relationships #EmotionalSupport”
Have you ever wondered how to create a safe space for guys to open up emotionally? In a world where men are often expected to suppress their feelings, it can be challenging to encourage vulnerability. Here are some tips to make guys feel at ease about being vulnerable with you:
1. Honest Communication
Open up a dialogue about emotions and create a non-judgmental environment where guys feel comfortable sharing their feelings.
2. Encouragement and Support
Show empathy and provide reassurance when guys do open up, letting them know that their feelings are valid and respected.
3. Lead by Example
Share your own vulnerabilities to demonstrate that it’s normal and healthy to express emotions, setting an encouraging precedent for guys to follow.
Final Thoughts:
By promoting open communication, offering support, and leading by example, you can help guys feel safe about being vulnerable with you, despite societal expectations. Let’s break down these barriers together! #BreakTheStigma #EmotionalIntimacy
You don’t.
Be vulnerable first
Well, you gotta make him believe that it’s okay for him to be vulnerable with you, that you won’t judge him or think lesser of him for showing weakness. (Also you should make sure that you yourself actually are okay with that too before you do anything, a lot of women don’t actually like seeing their man vulnerable after all.)
Fyi most women end up losing respect for a vulnerable and emotional dude…
>how can I make a guy feel safe about being vulnerable with me?
Why do you want that from him?
Second, men do not communicate like women. Men communicate like men. Men are not “damaged” in some way for communicating like men. It’s not in most men’s nature to “be vulnerable”.
But in the event that guy is ever vulnerable with you, be worthy of it. What does that look like? It includes (but is not limited to) not throwing his vulnerability at him when you’re losing an argument. It also includes not telling your idiot friends about something he trusted you with.
Women, “the empathetic sex”, have a very solipsistic way of thinking. So, to help you figure out how to navigate this potential minefield, just imagine trusting some guy with your deepest insecurity. After you’ve done that, how would you want him to behave?
Whatever the answer to that is, do that exact same thing if a guy is ever vulnerable with you.
Age old question.
You don’t like in real time what you imagine.
At this point you feel emotionally alone and you rather have to figure out either did you something that caused the dude to pull away, is the dude going trough a difficult time and needs to have his shit together?
That’s the neat part, you don’t. The closer a man is to you, the more they love you, the more they are afraid of actually losing you ( or hurting you out of the realization of your own powerlessness ) so the less likely they are to open fully and would rather put on a strong face and only show you what they believe is enough to show.
You cannot change a man that has been trained for years that anything he said will be used against him, that most people cannot handle imperfection and vulnerabilities that the listener cannot understand/relate to. You may think you can endure a man who open, but can you really ? Even if you could, you have no way to prove it to him and the risk he would have to take is too big, who would gamble with the scarce love a man receive ? I’d rather stfu and keep that love instead of risking to lose it all.
Lot of questions with this one before I answer. How long have ya’ll been together? Are you considering marrying this dude? Do you trust him? Does it look like he trusts you? Do you have a strong enough foundation of self to take on the weight of his problems, fears, and past demons?
you think you want it, but you don’t
You just be there for him, but you don’t go digging to get him to be vulnerable. That’s the trick.
Women think it’s going to be some deep emotional, hot and cute thing. It’s not, it’s deeply uncomfortable and an undeniable ick. The only women I know who actively seek out a man who’s vulnerable is only interested in having some sort of manipulation tactic
It’s a long, arduous process that a single misstep can close off forever.
You can start by asking him how he’s doing. He’ll likely give you a non-answer (fine) but the important part is *accept this answer*. Follow it up with a hug, a kiss, a small touch of physical affection. Then leave it be.
It a really poor comparison, but it’s similar to bonding with rescue dogs. You need to *demonstrate* they are safe, over enough time for them to believe it.
My fiancée has been very different for me. First question out of the gate when I’m struggling is: how can I support you? Which means a lot. She has never made me feel bad about needing time or space to work through stuff and calls me out (lovingly) when I say I’m fine when she knows I’m not. If I don’t want to talk about it, she drops it and makes it clear that she’s there when I’m ready to talk. All of this is reciprocated of course and we work together to get through it and even when we disagree, it’s us vs the problem not each other. Makes me take time to do things that I want to and treat myself to things I want (within reason).
Don’t. It’s a trap for both you and him. You think you want that but once you get it that’ll be it.
Why? So you can use his vulnerabilities against him during a fight, tell all your friends and his friends about them after a break-up, without feeling any consequences?
Men have to protect themselves, and always be ready to cut loose as easily as women do. So until that balance shifts towards equality, only an idiot would fully open up to a woman before she’s otherwise fully committed.
If he wants to, he’ll try something small.
If he catches a hint you’ve been talking about it to others, if it seems to skeeve you out, if it gets thrown back in his face next time there’s an argument then he knows and he’ll never try it again.
Not every guy will want to.
Saying it’s okay won’t make one who doesn’t want to start. It also doesn’t really matter compared to what you do if he decides to test it.
Hello OP!
You might be one of the “good” ones that will actually listen to a man’s doubts, fears, insecurities, and inner feelings of inadequacy and frustration.
And it won’t matter if the man you are hoping will be open with you has had relationships with any women before you, including his own family and friends.
Because women (Not ALL Women [tm]) always use the things a man says in that open and vulnerable space against him at a later time.
Might be five seconds, five minutes, five days, or five years.
But EVERYTHING that you say to a woman can and will be used against you, or used as the justification to end the relationship.
And, I’m sad to say, virtually all men are given this lesson, and often multiple times, maybe dozens, over the course of his life.
So, it isn’t personal. It’s previous scars and, even when “healed”, most of us simply stop sharing the heavier things with the women in our lives.
A lot of time and patience. Been married for 7 years now, it took years for my wife to truly get my barriers down, even in the face of people being diagnosed with cancer I managed to keep it together. I only truly buckled in front of her when we had our miscarriage, I think it overwhelmed me at that point because I felt what I felt but I also felt what she did too. Since then it’s been a bit easier to open up and now how two healthy children.
With my son I am going to make it my life’s aim to make it normal for him to show emotion, none of this man up crap. It’s so hard to break that once it’s built into you, I don’t want my son to have that.
Short answer is, you can’t. I can’t speak for anyone other than myself, but after spending my entire life being told men aren’t allowed to be vulnerable, to taking the risk of being vulnerable to hopefully save my marriage and having it weaponized and used against me, it just reinforced that it’s not a safe place for me. I’m 49, fwiw.
I appreciate your desire to show your guy that he has a safe space in you, but just realize what you’re up against. It’s not going to be an easy thing to do, and please keep your expectations reasonable.
Probably not going to happen. Like all men he knows a woman wanting vulnerability is a trap and she can’t handle it.
We’d rather tell a bear.
For some women, it causes a huge dynamic shift in the relationship once they see that you have a weakness. My newly married wife saw a different side of me when my parents passed. Still to this day I don’t really understand it. But the relationship flipped, I was doing everything I was taught to do to try to keep her happy and actually became the wife in the relationship. Cooking, cleaning, breadwinner, the more I invested in the relationship, the more she took and apparently, the more she became disgusted 🤷♂️
You used the term “expectation “. That’s not correct.
We have been burned and badly by an ex in the past. We would tell her something that was then either spread around to her friends for laughs, or used against us as a weapon during a fight.
You have to prove to him that he can trust you, and that may never happen
I love and trust my wife completely. But still can not share everything due to my past trauma.
So just be informed
We’re not expected to never be vulnerable.
Women punish us for being vulnerable.
It’s not the dads, grandfathers, high school athletic coaches, etc. No man has ever been harder on me than the women in my life. I heard a guy say, ” They would rather watch us die on our feet than fall down,” and he’s 100% right. That’s exactly how it feels.
When we’re vulnerable with a woman, when we tear up in front of them or share secrets, they either lose attraction, end the relationship, begin cheating, gossip about it with their friends, or use it in an argument later.
The thing is, you REALLY need to make sure you can take it before you ask for it. If you see your man cry, hear his secrets or whatever, and you lose attraction for him, or you tell your friends, or you hit him in the face with it the next time he makes you mad, you’ll just be perpetuating the cycle.
A lot of trauma in this post. The fact that most replies here are from men who suffered the consequences of opening up really says something .
Meanwhile OP is now even more curious about what could she possibly find out.
Men, only open up to your boys.
You can’t, every single time a guy is vulnerable with a woman she uses it against him sometimes down the line. All you are looking for is dirt to bury him with later , stop trying to intrude where you honestly just do not belong.
I’m not going to be vulnerable around women anymore.
Every time I have tried they used it against me or humiliated me.