#DisabilityCare #NonRelatedCaregiving #FriendSupport
Hey there everyone! 👋
So, I recently found myself in a situation where I needed to care for a disabled friend who I’m not related to. I was a bit lost at first, but with some great advice from the community, I think I’ve got a good plan in place now. Here’s what I learned:
– Communication is key: Talk openly and honestly with your friend about their needs and preferences.
– Understand their condition: Educate yourself about their disability so you can provide the best care possible.
– Create a care plan: Develop a schedule for tasks like medication, appointments, and daily activities.
– Seek support: Don’t be afraid to ask for help from other friends, family members, or support groups.
I’m grateful for the advice I received, and I hope these tips can help others in similar situations. Have you ever cared for a non-related disabled friend? Any tips or advice to share? Let’s continue the conversation! 🌟 #CaregivingCommunity #SupportEachOther
Are you on good terms with her parents? You should be able to get them to give you power of attorney for her
This should be stuff that her *parents* are looking into, not you. they should NOT be expecting you to take control of everything. they should be providing for her care and prioritizing that, since that is the responsibility of parents.
What province you’re in will change the answer to this. Rather than take it on, you might consider setting up a public trustee (someone who works for the provincial government who is appointed by the courts) to take this on. Will the girl be ok with you managing her finances? Without anything legal in place, she can tell you to fuck off and blow what ever money she can access— in other words, if her name’s on the account or trust or will or whatever, without documentation demonstrating that she CAN’T access it, she can spend it on whatever she wants.
If you’re in Ontario, she should be connected to Developmental Services Ontario (DSO). She and her parents can initiate this process.
The advice about POA is good advice. POA usually encompasses financial decisions, not health decisions or others (those would be guardianship, which is quite different). You need to talk to a good social worker. And, as someone else noted, moving provinces can be tricky. Is there not some sort of provincial disability benefit in her current province that she could access? She’s currently in a gray area where legally she’s her own decision maker, but she’s not acting in her own best interests (mind you, there are a lot of regular people that don’t act in their own best interests!).
>and the burden of providing for their daughter will most likely fall on myself and my husband (33F, 34F) and we are of no relation
only if you allow it to, i would say out of this mess
The absolute first thing you have to establish is: Has she been granted the Disability Tax Credit?
All Federal aid for disabled people who are under the age of 65 stems from this (opening an RDSP, federal disability, federal dental plan).
Your friend absolutely can subsist alone but it is very difficult. ODSP + subsidized housing is an option. It isn’t fun, but it is possible. It is also, Ontario-specific.
Source – I was raised on ODSP
Check if your municipality offers subsidized housing programs (which may not require your friend being a tenant of a housing company). They may offer rent assistance payments. I believe you mentioned in a comment that you’re in Alberta and I know multiple cities there have programs like this. For example, in my community, they will provide up to $700 for a 1 bedroom apartment. We also have programs that cap rent at 30% of the tenant’s income.
It sounds like, to a point, you are trying to protect her from her own bad choices? I know POA was already shared but I strongly encourage you to explore this option with your friends’ parents and a family lawyer. This will also provide more protection from “her scumbag brother”. I have multiple disabled relatives and POA has been a lifesaver in not only protecting them from themselves (like your friend, they are awful with money) but also from people trying to take advantage of them (one of my relatives seemingly always came home with store credit cards before the POA allowed us to manage their accounts). The POA will also let you pay bills for your friend, which will let you pay their rent (instead of giving them money and hoping they make the right decision).