How can I overcome conflict avoidance and assert myself more effectively?
#conflictavoidance #assertiveness #selfesteem #communication
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I’d say first make sure to learn how to do that correctly, in my experience staying objective vs subjective really helps. For instance, if someone makes your hamburger wrong you say something like “Excuse me but this hamburger isn’t the way I ordered it” vs. “such and such messed up my hamburger”. Keeping feedback to an object tends to keep emotional responses out of it and you aren’t insulting a person with your feedback.
I’ve never had issues with sharing my opinion, IF I’m super confident in my opinion but I had a lot of issues when I wasn’t.
What helped me is realizing (with a therapist help) that people don’t really care if you make mistakes, as long as you are willing to admit if you were mistaken. They’ll even like you more because of it. Tone of voice is incredibly important, it convenes so much info.
The most important take away is: respect other people, but realize that most of us have some spectrum of imposter syndrome, so they are willing to listen to someone that SEEMS like they know what they are talking about.
Note: this does NOT apply to the internet, here everyone is an expert in everything and don’t follow usual irl rules.
Learn a combat sport. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is good, it’s easier on the body while remaining an effective self defence measure.
It’s not about actually using it. Once you get good at it, you’ll feel less physically vulnerable and more confident as such.
One thing that really helped me was to actively realize that 99% of the time it is not a conflict. It is just a discussion. A sharing of opinions.
The old saying that it takes two to tango, holds true for conflicts as well.