#RelationshipProblems #LivingTogether #FeelingAnnoyed #BoyfriendIssues
Hey there! 🌟 So, you’ve recently moved in with your boyfriend and suddenly find yourself annoyed by every little thing he does? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Living together can bring out new challenges in a relationship that you never had to face before. But fear not, there are ways to navigate through this and find a balance that works for both of you. Let’s dive in and explore some tips on how to deal with annoyances in a new living situation and strengthen your relationship in the process.
**Understanding Your Feelings**
Before diving into ways to handle the annoyances, it’s important to take a step back and understand why you are feeling this way. Moving in together is a big change and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed or irritated by certain habits or behaviors. Take some time to reflect on your emotions and try to identify the root cause of your annoyance.
**Communication is Key**
One of the most important aspects of any relationship is communication. Sit down with your boyfriend and have an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling. It’s important to express your concerns and frustrations in a calm and respectful manner. Remember, your boyfriend may not even be aware that his actions are bothering you.
**Establish Boundaries**
Setting boundaries is crucial when living together. Discuss things like noise levels, cleaning responsibilities, and personal space. Creating clear boundaries can help prevent future conflicts and ensure that both of you feel comfortable in your shared space.
**Find Compromises**
Compromise is key in any relationship. You might not always see eye-to-eye on every issue, but finding a middle ground can help alleviate tensions. For example, if he’s a morning person and you’re a night owl, perhaps you can agree on a quiet activity for him to do in the morning that won’t disturb your sleep.
**Practice Gratitude**
In moments of annoyance, it’s easy to focus on the negative aspects of your relationship. Take a step back and remind yourself of all the things you love about your boyfriend. Practicing gratitude can help shift your perspective and remind you of the reasons why you chose to move in together in the first place.
Now, let’s touch upon some advice inspired by the Bhagavad Gita that may help you navigate through this challenging phase:
1. **Practice Patience**: “For one who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends, but for one who has failed to do so, his mind will remain the greatest enemy.” Practice patience and understanding towards your boyfriend’s habits and behaviors.
2. **Let Go of Expectations**: “You have the right to work, but never to the fruits of work.” Let go of expectations of how your boyfriend should behave and focus on accepting him for who he is.
3. **Work on Self-Improvement**: “The mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by practice.” Focus on working on yourself and your reactions to situations that annoy you. Self-awareness can lead to positive changes in your relationship.
Remember, every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s normal to experience bumps along the way. With open communication, understanding, and a willingness to work together, you can navigate through these annoyances and come out stronger on the other side. Good luck! 🌺
I hope you find these tips helpful in navigating through this challenging phase in your relationship. Remember, it’s all about finding a balance and working together to create a harmonious living environment. Stay positive and keep the lines of communication open. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend! 🌟
Consider this your trial run. You’re learning that when living together, you’re going to be incompatible in the relationship until something changes. I think it’s a good idea to sit down and have actual fully fledged out conversations about these things. The tapping I don’t think you can solve, but him waking you up at night because HE can’t sleep is something that needs to stop. Him not giving you enough heads up about events is something that needs to stop. Him learning how to clean up after himself and use proper amounts of products is something he can learn, but whether or not he wants to is another story.
Talk to him about everything, and try counseling if you want this relationship to work for real. But keep in mind you don’t have to stay. You might feel “so in love” with him, but now you’re seeing the side of him you’ve never seen before and you need to decide if you would be okay to put up with this for the rest of your life if nothing changes. Because he might not change.
It’s a sign you aren’t compatible at all. You should start planning to move out.
You need to talk to him about these. It might lead to a fight or conflict, but that’s what us adults do. That’s what is meant by “communication”.
“I don’t like when you use my shampoo, buy your own”
“I feel disrespected and dismissed when you invite people over on short notice or without simply asking me”
“I think it’s gross when you drink out of the bottle directly, please use a cup”
“When you wake up early, please keep the volume down, it’s affecting my sleep and making me feel like shit”
A good partner is going to hear that and care enough about you to try to change their behavior. A bad partner is going to ignore you, or dismiss you, or attack you (say your nagging, for instance), or is going to make themselves the victim. Watch for those like a hawk as they are signs of what your future holds.
Don’t be afraid. Communicate.
I’m sorry OP but I laughed my ass off reading your post. Brings me back to when my now wife moved in with me and how the adjustment period took a while. Sounds like he hasn’t lived with a woman before. Sit down and tell him kindly about the things you said here. Also don’t expect him to immediately change and do things the way you want it it done. This will take time. Also be prepared for him to have some complaints about you and really listen. Your both adults have an adult conversation and have patience with each other. Explain to him that you need time to shower, put on make up etc and 30 minutes isnt enough time. That he may be used to going out alot and isn’t used to having a meal prepared for him so try letting him know that you plan on cooking that night so he doesn’t agree to dinner plans. Everything will be alright with communication, patience and even some comprise.
Also one last bit of advice if you want him to do something like take out the trash or do the dishes when you ask him just give him a timeframe you need it done by. If its urgent then met me know if not and he is busy doing something then expect at least 30 minutes before it gets done.
Living with someone is a huge deal if you’re a highly introvert person with sensory limitations like I have. I need more quiet time than the usual person and have difficulty focusing.
He needs to learn basic things, but you might want to look into your own capacity as well
Just FYI here, it doesn’t get better. If he lives that way and you don’t like it and can’t find a middle ground just consider yourself lucky that you didn’t marry him yet.
He is inconsiderate and it shows. You can attempt to change his behavior but it will not change who he is.
I would talk to him first. Especially about sleep, this is huge inconsideration and he should not do that.
And other things – toilet, not involving you into plans.
Some things – root cause of it is his egoism and not caring about anyone else.
Give him time to change, if not – trial run failed, move on
Err. Move back out?
>He will also use my shampoo and shower gels in HUGE quantities. Like dude your hair is 2 inches long you dont need to use that much shampoo
Lol, I dated this guy! I could NOT figure it out! He’d pour a quarter of the bottle in his hand and start scrubbing away.
The tapping is just a natural thing as an ex drummer myself we just can’t help it sorry.
Lmao, welcome to sharing a space with someone.
Just sit down and have a calm discussion with him. Living together means compromises. Trust me, I’m sure you’re doing some things that have been annoying him too.
If you two don’t have arguments how does he know he’s annoying you? If you suffer in silence you will just become more and more annoyed.
C O M M U N I C A T E
These are growing pains. But you have to talk to him about it or he won’t know it’s bothering you. This is how you learn to compromise and work together.
Lol a lot of this is part of adjusting to living with a partner-especially in close quarters. You just have to talk about these things, in a calm way, maybe with some humor. When my husband and I got married we both drove each other crazy for a while—I’m quite clean but very disorganized, leave things in random places, and forget to close kitchen cabinets, he is neat but not as clean, we had different sleep/wake habits, and like your boyfriend, he also used my hair and bath products when he showered in enormous quantities.
We were in a goofy giggling mood in bed one day and started laughing about how it was a shame that we were definitely going to murder each other one day, possibly soon, and started telling each other how we were driving each other insane. It helped a lot, we both became more conscious of what we were doing but also more patient given our own quirks.
Talk about it.
Have you talked to him?
You can love someone more than anything in the world but everyone has their quirks and moving in always has an adjustment period. That’s how relationships work. My bf and I have lived together for 2 years now and the majority of the “annoyances” we once had we have discussed and, with time and effort and communication, reached compromises and figured out. Some things we are still working on after 2 years.
Successful relationships are like 99% communication.
That said, maybe don’t throw all of these annoyances at him at once as that would likely overwhelm him. Pick one you’re struggling with the most to talk about initially. And especially, ask him if there’s anything YOU are doing that annoys him (because he probably has a list too honestly).
Sounds like you guys need to work on your communication in regards to plans and sleeping arrangements. He needs to be respectful of you when you’re sleeping and you need to explain to him that the tapping bothers you. Calming talking about these things before they build up and you explode on one another is key
Have you talked to him about this? Because you are seeing how he is now and you’re not liking it. You need to express yourself and have boundaries, and tell him “no”. No, he can’t use your shampoo if he is so wasteful. No, he can’t bring people without proper warning. No, he can’t walk you up in the middle of the night.
You may not be compatible. This is the downside of not spending time together to get to know each others idiosyncrasies
There’s a game and book called ”fair play” That I’ve heard really helps couples understand each others needs around the house. At least relating maintenance . I think most men are socialized this way and it’s (among many other things) why so many women these days are choosing to be single or live apart from significant others.
Also, ear plugs, headphones, sleep mask
Aren’t you glad you moved in with him before marriage? Imagine what it would be like when you two got married without living together.