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By focusing on these key aspects, you can create a dating app that caters to men’s needs and increases their chances of finding meaningful connections. #datingappdevelopment #malerelationships #datingappdesign“
>I saw an article today on how bumble recently made a 180 and is allowing the option for men to message first.
thats infuriating, the whole “women have to initiate” is why i use the app in the first place
The only thing going to help men is purging the apps entirely
A 100 word minimum per question.
“Just ask me” is what many hot women use instead of responding.
It used to drive me nuts on Match, especially the average ones who *thought* they were hot.
My wife and I were interested in each other because of thoroughly answering with decent spelling and grammar.
The right move would be to get rid of them entirely.
But with Bumble, women have to enable a setting to allow men to message first. Essentially copying what Hinge does by allowing you to send a like plus one message. Probably enacted because they need more engagement and more money.
Out of all the apps I’d used back in my day, Hinge was the best.
I feel like Bumble is proof that it’s not possible. Dating apps inherently favor women and model-tier men
100 word minimum bio for all users
AI image detection requires one face pic and one full body pic minimum
Remove swiping and have a decent search feature.
OKCupid was solid back in the day for this. The match percentage was super unscientific, but it was something that helped you actually look for compatible people. And it made empty profiles with just a picture obvious bots or scammers.
And allowing a message without an initial match allows men to actually make an intelligent approach and be noticed for something beyond a couple pictures and a paragraph.
That sucks. I liked using bumble for the exact reason that the women had to message to actually activate the chat. It wasn’t really about them messaging first, it was about that if she even puts effort into activating the conversation, then I at least know there is a bit of a chance for me.
Some matches that I got a bumble didn’t even bother to activate a conversation even though they swiped on me too, which I would assume mean they are somewhat interested.
Personally, I think the best feature would be each text should have a decent word count minimum. Forces each person to at least form a sentence and actually give effort in their responses.
In a hypothetical world where we reset the clock to the 2010s so we could undo most of the baggage that already exists?
Let people see who matches with them. Give both men and women a hard limit on how many people they can talk to and match with. After you’ve connected with 5 or 6 people then you either have to drop them to get back in rotation or talk to those few people. Maybe penalize serial droppers in some way. If you pick 6 people and you don’t want to talk to **any of them** then you’re not using the space correctly.
Women have issues making choices.
Guys have issues being seen.
Cut down on the bloat women get and you’ll have a better time.
Likewise, reporting should have more far-reaching consequences. Ban the IP address of users that send unsolicited pictures, saying disturbing things and so on. People should feel safe enough to engage with one another.
No paid content. Everyone is seen in relation to how active they are on the app. People who are online see other people who are online. That way, when you match with someone, you don’t find out about a day and a half later when you check your notifications but in the moment.
It’s not hard to make a good app. They’ve turned meeting other people into a slot machine. Just let people see and talk to each other with as much ease as you possibly can.
Other than ensuring there’s a roughly equal number of active male/female ratio, I don’t think it’s possible. Bottom line is women just don’t seem to find men attractive at a distance unless there’s something exceptional about him just from profile pics. I just hate having to do a whole song and dance to impress women on dating apps or get totally ignored. Especially when I don’t even know if I really like HER that much. It feels degrading. Even though I know the other person was interested enough to swipe right on me, I still feel like it’s cold-call sales.
I don’t think there’s really any way to do that, the nature of the dating market just doesn’t translate favorably to an app for a lot of guys. the reason grindr is a totally different landscape is that it’s men for men not because the app is special.
A major thing is attraction style. For women attraction tends to be a contextual thing, there’s a lot of factors beyond simple looks in what clicks. It’s why you get those studies where if they just show a bunch of pictures men rate more women as attractive than women do men. It’s because it doesn’t have the context. Unless you’re exceptionally attractive to override that lack or you manage to build a profile that conveys that context very quickly, which is difficult and some forms of it will simply never cime through in that medium, you just dont hook as hard on screen.
The other is just the risk profile and desire for casual stuff. Women have a different calculus on going out with or hooking up with a rando than men do, and it makes the whole thing less appealing for them.
So you’re going to wind up with an app that is disproportionately made up of dudes because the casual app is going yo be more appealing to then and so are the potential partners on there, on average. That’s going to warp things even more.
It just…doesn’t work the same as in person and never will.
I wouldn’t because it isn’t possible to create one in men’s favour if it’s not an app for gay men at least.
– Remove swiping and instead bring in search.
– Lose the algorithms that bump up the profiles of guys that get swiped on/messaged the most. Level the playing field at least from the developers side.
– Introduce a flagging mechanism for gold-diggers, “sprinkle sprinkle” ladies, OF promoters, or anyone whose primary intention is to get men to follow them on another platform so they can freely ask for money.
– Introduce an “upload screenshots” mechanism to prove the above and implement AI face identification to ban those women from the app forever.
– People you ghost will automatically be hidden from you forever.
– Limit matching to no more than 5 people at once.
These are a few that come to mind.
Impossible because on average women are more discerning about who they date than men.
Even if it were possible it’s not going to happen because these apps rely on men to pay and they flood the apps with fake profiles to sucker men into wasting their paid tools on pretty women.
That said there’s things you can do to make it less…. shit.
* Honestly an up-front pay wall gets rid of a lot of casual fuck boys and bored attention seekers.
* A more robust profile system that really highlights all the pertinent details. Education level, physical activity level, income level, height, weight, views on sex, kids, religion, politics, etc.
* These things always come out in the first couple of dates anyway, let’s just cut through the bullshit.
* Offer better matchmaking so that you can filter by people with like minded interests.
* You could even get a warning if your standards are too strict. “You selected 6ft+ men, under 190 lbs, making a six figure salary. Your criteria meets 0.05% of men on this app.”
* Or warnings if you set off common red flags “Profiles with ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” are flagged by 75% of users.
* Remove inactive & bot profiles.
* Require somewhat professional headshots as the PFP, and block any girl who tries to use a group shot as the PFP.
Bumble proved that most women refuse to initiate conversation
Unless you can change society, this will never change.
An algorithm that can figure out why I swiped on who I swiped would be nice.
Every time there’s a “based on who you liked” thing, they’re always nothing like the women I’ve liked.
When you matched with someone, you are both instantly teleported to a table to have a conversation
I think I would have a dating app that tried to host events in towns or have a place where you can meet in public and your sub covers a couple of meals per month. No one has to pay anything extra, just come get a booth of a private date or show up for the mixer.
Sad to hear what bumble has become, that’s how I met my wife. But they had a good idea in making women reach out first if they were interested and in a way gage their conversational prowess. Honestly I can’t tell you how many times I matched with a woman that had “Say more than “hey” on your first message” only to match with them and get one word replies. Irritates tf out of me lol. But without getting to deep, I would add those features with a SCIENTIFIC compatibility measures. Let’s say you match with a woman, both of you have 3 strikes when it comes to back to back one word responses. For example:
person 1: How are you today?
person 2: Fine (strike 1)
person 1: What are you up to today?
person 2: Nothing (strike 2)
person 1: What’s your favorite type of food?
person 2: Italian (strike 3) <—-at this point the app will say something like ” this person does not seem interested, unmatch?”
A rough concept, but it’s a start. The other would be advertising your onlyfans, premium snaps, etc. BANNED OFF RIP.
Honestly apps are kind of fucking stupid. The amount of work it takes to even get to a date has become absurd for your average guy.
I think its hilarious that Bumble finally gave up and realized that their app wasn’t working the way its supposed to.
I think this is more of a question for women
I always hear about men having success on grindr
I don’t think it’s possible. The reason why online dating doesn’t work well for men is that it turns dating into shopping and it commodifies men into a bunch of attributes and nameless faces.
That’s the whole point of online dating. The convenience and the endless possibilities of men/women to “choose” from. And that’s what causes the paradox of choice.
I think its impossible, because apps need to attract women in order to attract men, not the other way around unfortunately.
The funny thing about a lot of the responses here is that they reflect what dating sites (when they were web sites, not “apps”) *used* to be. Specifically, a lot of the features of the original OkCupid, Match.com, and *especially* (believe it or not) E-Harmony (minus E-Harmony’s socially conservative posturing) have been mentioned.
Lots of people saying “let my personality shine, and match based on anything other than pure looks (OkCupid and E-Harmony)”. Lots of “actually match based on characteristics in my profile, and not just a swipe-fest” (OkCupid and E-Harmony). Lots of “curate the matching experience so that anyone only has a few matches at a time (E-Harmony)”. Lots of “allow searching”.
My (F) friend was showing me her Hinge just last week. She’s a ivy league grad, and well qualified and she had 100s of matches, messages and I was like, how the fuck are you single? I have to work on a few matches that I get every now and then. And she agrees men have a small chance of picking what’s right for them. I have felt like I have to make it work with what I get. And I don’t know the solution yet but the problem is well defined. Its a problem for women too, it felt like my friend was a kid lost in a toy store.
Also, some times it takes time for people to fully get comfortable and be who they are. I’ve felt walking on a glass floor a lot of times on first dates. Even took George Clooney quite some time to impress his now wife. We all decide on one two-hour date which is not the right approach for a life partner. Sooo how do we decide that this is the person that we would like to know?
Maybe some kind of combo of Hinge and Bumble, but where you only get to see pictures if you like their written profiles.
Remove pictures. Pen pals / blind dates need to make a comeback.
Bumble was great for allowing women to make the first move. When I was dating, I’d always have the most success on there for that very reason. Women constantly get overwhelmed by the number of matches and messages they receive because guys are the ones that usually always have to make the first move. We basically play the numbers game and swipe on everyone who isn’t completely unappealing or obviously full of red flags and message everyone and see who responds before we even make a decision on who we want to date or not. That’s not really what these things were designed for.
Bumble did a lot to curb that and make it more equitable. What they’re doing now is just dumb and it’s going to make them a Tinder knockoff. Hinge actually kind of does something different.
this may be controversial but allow users to give each other constructive feedback on how to improve their profile.
e.g. Share a clearer picture, show a happy face, stop flexing your muscles, share your aspirations instead of your hobbies.
my gf whom I met on a darting app told me that so many men fail to be noticed due to the presentation. the idea is to get your foot in the door first.
meet folks in reality, do not use apps…
We already had apps that worked great. The problem is they didn’t make maximum money for stock holders. People in tech don’t actually care about helping users.