How to Address an Employee’s Unkempt Appearance in a Professional Setting Without HR?
Are you struggling with giving feedback to an employee who appears unkempt in a client-facing field?
Concerned about addressing an employee’s unkempt appearance during a challenging time?
Looking for ways to handle feedback about an employee’s messy hair without sparking further issues?
Worried about addressing an employee’s appearance due to potential mental health struggles?
Curious about how to balance professionalism and empathy when giving feedback on an employee’s appearance?
Need advice on including feedback on an employee’s unkempt appearance in their evaluation during a sensitive time?
Wondering how to navigate addressing an employee’s appearance when official policies are lacking?
Struggling with providing constructive feedback about an employee’s appearance while considering their mental health challenges?
Explore effective ways to address an employee’s messy appearance professionally and empathetically in client-facing situations.
Learn how to balance professionalism and empathy when giving feedback on an employee’s appearance during challenging times.
Discover strategies for providing constructive feedback about an employee’s appearance, considering potential mental health issues.
Find out how to navigate addressing an employee’s unkempt appearance when official HR policies are lacking.
Explore ways to support an employee through mental health challenges while addressing concerns about their appearance professionally.
Learn how to handle sensitive feedback about an employee’s appearance, balancing professionalism and empathy.
Discover effective strategies for including feedback on an employee’s unkempt appearance in their evaluation, even without official HR policies.
Explore ways to address an employee’s messy appearance while considering their mental health struggles, maintaining professionalism and empathy.
This has nothing to do with work performance and shouldn’t be in an evaluation. The person’s job shouldn’t be on the line because of this. Talk to them in the next two days about the issue. If they fail to correct the issue, then it becomes a performance issue. I still wouldn’t put it in their evaluation, though.
You don’t need to wait until there’s a policy. Fear of ‘singling her out’ is silly; you’re not having this conversation with anyone else. It’s nice that you’re feeling compassionate about her issues, but don’t infantilize her just because you perceive she’s having a hard time. Talk to her like an adult, be clear about expectations, offer support if she needs it.
I can’t imagine that your employer doesn’t have a handbook that says a neat appearance is required. That’s a very basic and common thing included in every handbook for every company I’ve ever worked with… Send a company wide email reminding everyone that a neat appearance and tidy hair is required. Then if she doesn’t improve, bring it up in her review.
Two things :
Can you have an informal discussion? Maybe just a friendly discussion will solve that. It shouldn’t pop up as a surprise at the evaluation.
>but my own boss wants me to include this in the evaluation.
Oh yeah, I did that once and I will never do it again. I put something that was important for my boss and that I didn’t agree with. I also added a plan to correct that including a class I wanted for the employee, what we expect from him, how we would support him and how we would track the progress,. That evaluation was signed by the employee, my boss and me.
Then, the request was denied by my boss when it was time to enroll him in the remote class and do it on business hours. Less than two months later I left and nothing was done. Then the boss said to the employee that she didn’t know why I put that in the evaluation, that she disagree but she’s now tied and used that to put pressure on him. Now, if my boss review the evaluations, I add a clear section for their own comments.
You said: “we don’t have a policy” so how could she possibly be breaking the rules if there are none?! This sounds like a systemic issue, and you’re not able to really blame her unless she’s breaking rules that actually exist, or being egregiously unreasonable.
If you don’t handle it, someone else in you organization will and they will probably be a lot more blunt when they do so.
I agree that investigating your obligations/the employee’s protections via ADA is a good next step.
My last employer (finally) mentioned my hair, subtly. While I *do* brush my hair each morning, it definitely looked like a troll head most of the time. The thing that she mentioned that *finally* made me say “ok you’re right” (and my husband and my daughter lol), was “I do my hair before bed”. Yeah yeah noted. It got me straightening my hair before bed so it wouldn’t be so frizzy the next day (along with some coconut oil).
Very touchy subject obviously. It took me a couple days to even *realize* why she said what she said and how she said it. My first thought was screw you if I do it for *anyone*, I’m doing it for me”! Followed by 3 solid months of my hair looking at least presentable for the first time in 30 years.
I agree with others, try to talk to her before it’s *documented*, giving her a chance to change it. Be prepared for her to quit. Obviously it’s embarrassing and there could be a lot of reasons as to her *why*, but hopefully she takes it not too personal. If at anything, she will need this advice in the future. I wish I’d listened decades ago. It’s probably affected the views of my co-workers even though I’m one of the hardest workers (see crazy hair).
Best of luck!
> we are in a client facing field and we often have to go to court or do large scale presentations etc
Don’t assume why she does this, just address it straightforward. IF she brings up any disability/mental health issues, work with her on accommodations, such as having hair styling products available for her at work.
>advocated for them to have less work for now so they have a chance to recover
This is not a reasonable accommodation.
In the end, it sounds like professional appearance is an essential function/duty of the job.
You can’t solve her issue(s)….if you are large enough for ADA you can be interactive and work through reasonable accommodations but that is not taking away duties or giving them “less work”.
This is a great example of something that shouldn’t be in an evaluation.
Someone should have said something literally the first time it happened. When no one said something, especially as it kept happening, you effectively gave permission for it to continue.
At this point, you need to sit down and talk to her kindly but firmly about being presentable.
I strongly recommend having a witness to the conversation, especially if you are a man.
As far as potential mental health issues, good on you for being kind about it but you also need to draw a firm line.
You say her hair is not kept to a business standard. If her attire is also messy you say her attire is not to a business standard. If she asks what a business standard means you can say your boss says her hair is not brushed etc.
I had an employee dealing with a MH crisis in this exact situation, and I gently brought it up to her. I said something like “I understand you’re struggling right now and I don’t want to add to that, but we do need you to come to the office with a professional presentation and recently your hair has been unkempt. Can you clean it up in the morning before coming in?” The person was embarrassed, of course, and we talked through that, but they did address the issue moving forward.
Talk to her now. Don’t ever wait for evaluation time for these kinds of conversations.
At least it’s unbrushed hair. What will make the conversations even more difficult is if there’s an odor to address at some point if it’s not addressed sooner rather than later. Ideally these things are privately held conversations at the time it’s a noticed pattern.
Let her know that due to the client facing nature of the role, the company wants a more polished look. Including neat attire and brushed hair.
Check in with her and ask her how she’s been feeling and let her know you’re there for her to help in ways that you’re able to assist her. The key is the tone and the approach. “We care about you but this is a business concern to address.” Is the way to set the tone.
These are often the exact times it means your company should introduce a dress code policy. Then, you’ll be able to point to that in the future to use as guidance and standards. So people don’t feel picked on or like “how am I supposed to know what you want?”
The fact you’re uncomfortable about it is a good thing. That means you’re kind and compassionate. Hard conversations are hard it’s the worst part of being tasked with supervision roles in my opinion.
Keep it really short like a bullet point say a client made a comment & you just need her to quickly brush her hair out before work each day, don’t say how it looks… then move on to another topic
This is very sad.
I don’t work in HR, but I did spend 20 years working in finance, and it’s heartbreaking to see someone go through something like this, especially when they reach a point where they truly begin to give up on their outward appearance. From an HR standpoint, do you have an employee handbook where appearance is outlined? If so, be kind but direct, and say that because they’re in a client-facing role, it’s important to make sure their hair is combed and they look tidy.
Beyond that, are you a woman? Is there a compassionate woman in the office who might be willing to take her under her wing and take her into the restroom when she arrives in the morning and brush her hair into a neat ponytail or bun? I am *not* saying this should be anyone’s responsibility. But sometimes when it’s clear someone is flailing, we have a tendency to look away because we think that person wants privacy, when what they really need is for someone to give them some genuine human contact. I realize this is outside the scope of HR, but I just wanted to bring it up in case it helps.
I feel like this was already answered in the other post that you wrote before it got booted over here.
Well it would certainly help to formalize a dress code.
But you just need to tell her she needs to present herself in a business appropriate fashion, including brushing her hair.
If it were me I’d probably point that out *before* adding it to an evaluation; she might not think there is an issue. But we all have to do what our bosses tell us to do.