#GirlFriendGhostedMe #FriendGroupDynamics #MaintainingFriendships #DealingWithRejection
It’s never easy when someone in your friend group ghosted you, especially if you had romantic feelings for them. It can be even more challenging to navigate the dynamics of the friend group after such an experience. But fear not, there are ways to maintain your relationships with the rest of the group while keeping a healthy distance from the person who ghosted you. Here’s how you can stay close with the rest of the group without feeling uncomfortable or isolated.
## Communicate with the Rest of the Group
It’s completely understandable that you may feel awkward or uncomfortable attending events where the person who ghosted you will be present. However, it’s important to communicate with the rest of the group about your feelings and reasons for wanting to distance yourself.
### Be Honest and Transparent
It’s okay to be honest with your friends about how the situation with the person who ghosted you has affected you. By explaining your feelings and reasons for wanting to maintain a healthy distance, you can ensure that your absence from certain events is not misinterpreted as a sign of distancing from the entire group.
### Examples of Honest Communication
– “Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been feeling a bit uncomfortable around [Name] after our past interactions. I value our friendships, but I need some time and space to process everything. I hope you can understand.”
– “I want to make it clear that my decision to distance myself from [Name] is not a reflection of my feelings towards the rest of the group. I just need some time to navigate through this situation.”
### Set Boundaries
It’s important to set clear boundaries with your friends and the person who ghosted you. Let them know what you feel comfortable with and what you would prefer to avoid for the time being.
### Support and Understanding
Chances are, your friends will be supportive and understanding of your feelings. They may even have their own insights or experiences to share, which can help you feel more supported and less isolated in the group.
## Focus on Individual Relationships
While it’s important to maintain connections with the entire friend group, consider nurturing individual relationships with each member. By spending one-on-one time with your friends, you can avoid potential discomfort and create stronger bonds within the group.
### Plan Solo Hangouts
Organize casual meetups, coffee dates, or activities with each friend separately. This will allow you to maintain your friendships without feeling awkward or out of place in group settings.
### Examples of Solo Hangouts
– “Hey, I was thinking of checking out that new restaurant downtown. Want to come with me?”
– “I’ve been wanting to catch up with you. How about we go for a hike this weekend?”
### Build Trust and Understanding
Use these one-on-one hangouts to build trust and understanding with your friends. Open up about your feelings and experiences, and encourage them to do the same. This can help strengthen your friendships and create a more supportive network within the group.
## Focus on Self-Care
Dealing with the aftermath of being ghosted can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. It’s crucial to prioritize self-care and take steps to heal from the experience.
### Seek Support
Consider talking to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and experiences. Sometimes, having a listening ear can provide much-needed comfort and validation.
### Engage in Activities that Bring You Joy
Self-care looks different for everyone, but finding activities that bring you joy and peace can help ease the pain of being ghosted. Whether it’s journaling, exercising, or pursuing a hobby, make time for things that make you happy.
### Consider Professional Guidance
If you find yourself struggling to cope with the situation, consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist or counselor. Talking to a mental health professional can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate through this challenging time.
## Conclusion
Having a friend in your group ghost you can be a difficult and isolating experience, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of your friendships with the rest of the group. By communicating openly and honestly, focusing on individual relationships, and prioritizing self-care, you can maintain your connections with your friends while keeping a healthy distance from the person who ghosted you. Remember, it’s okay to take the time and space you need to heal and move forward. Your true friends will understand and support you every step of the way.
Dude, you hooked up a few times. Just go back to being normal why is this a big deal? She didn’t want to continue an intimate relationship with you. Who cares.,
Heads up though if you keep behaving like this any of your other friends that notices this level of pettiness probably won’t improve their opinion of you.
You have three options. First (and most recommended) – talk to the girl *in person* about it, ask her why she didn’t reply and say you were upset by it. Second – let it go. Third- find new friends.
>Consequently, I chose to distance myself from her, as I prefer not to have such dynamics in my close circle.
If that was really the case then you wouldn’t have decided to hook up with members of your friend circle in the first place.
Ignore her during get together unless she is part of the “necessary” group dynamic.
You shouldn’t tell your friends about what happened with her. First of all, it will be awkward for her that you put her in that situation telling everyone what happened and second, I’m pretty sure that your friends will judge you as an immature asshole who can’t take a no for an answer. Move on and grow up
I’d avoid speaking about it and just suck it up, she’s a girl and your a boy you wont win this situation. I know its tough but you got this bro
Not sure what the dynamics of the group is. If she is a major player. . . you have some issues.
Realize people will talk – they love gossip and yes they will gossip about you. So get ahead of the story telling. Be honest and open about it. Why? then you control the narrative and people will make an informed decision. Other wise its all about what they are told.
So if they only get half the information well. . . its not going to look good.
Also I would look for a new set of friends – because sooner or later this will turn toxic.
When I was young and single and had a friend group it noticed that it was possible to go to a group outing and not talk to certain people. I didn’t do it in same situation or for the same reason as you, but you only have to be courteous to that person and spend the rest of the time interacting with everyone else. If the group is as large as even 10 people this is very, very easy. You should go to the party if you’re invited and don’t act this is a big deal.
Has she invited you to her bday celebration or is this just something the group was planning for her? If you’ve distanced yourself from her all this time how has the group not noticed? Were the hookups a secret from the group? Not really sure why neither of you thought to simply have a conversation in person post the chat. You could have clarified that if she’s not interested in a relationship then you’re fine with it. Or is it that you’d rather not be her friend because of your feelings for her.
I think the reasonable thing to do is talk it out. Especially since it’s her bday celebration. If she’s not interested in a friendship (or maybe you’re not interested in one) you could make it clear that when the party is catered to her you’ll be giving it a miss.
If a conversation is awkward (possibly because she’s not interested in one) then let it go, dont bother. I don’t think it should matter too much if you miss one or two get togethers no? Since the group itself doesn’t seem to have noticed your dynamic anyway.
She ghosted you. She could have just said “no thanks”
Just don’t go and if people ask why just say “such and such is a shitty person”
Ghosting people is 100000% shit behavior.
Lol if there are ur friends just tell them the truth and they should understand and respect ur decision
Just speak to her as you normally would before the hookups. But don’t give a reaction if she fails to answer.
Don’t sink to the pathetic level of ghosting her when out in the group.
She will soon see that it’s immature and hopefully stop the childish behaviour. It’s much more uncomfortable to be childish when others can see you doing it.
It was six months ago? Can’t you just continue to be cordial and do the polite distance thing? Why are you suddenly wanting to take this stand now?
If you don’t want to go out for her birthday, just say you can’t make it. There are literally hundreds of reasons why someone can’t join a night out.
Ignoring your text wasn’t great but six months down the line, wanting to tell the entire group that you’re not attending one celebration because she didn’t agree to go out with you is a little odd.
Maybe I’m missing something but it seems a little like creating unnecessary drama.
You’re getting a lot of childish advice and hot takes. This is what you should do:
1. Recognize that she could be thinking a variety of things. Maybe she just wanted to hook up and take it slow, and when you clarified that it was a date, she got scared and felt like you were pushing the situation too quickly. You should commend yourself for being direct, confident, and mature enough to state your intentions, but you should also realize that in the dating scene, some levels of traditionalism will always be at play. The woman sets the pace for how fast/slow things progress, and if she shows even the slightest signs of coldness or hesitation, you should back off immediately and see if she takes a step back towards you.
2. Realize that she is not as mature as you are. Clearly you can communicate your intentions clearly, she seems to not be able to do this out of lack of maturity. If that’s not the case then she either doesn’t value your friendship enough to be transparent with you, or there’s someone else in the picture and she is trying to save you as a back up plan in case the other thing doesn’t work out which is why she didn’t respond back to you.
3. Once you establish the above you should realize that you have no real reason to be embarrassed. She is the one who is playing bullshit games and being immature. You may have come on too strong, but as long as you avoid insisting on getting some kind of response or reaction from her, or making some kind of big stink or social statement about it, then you’ve done nothing wrong. My advice is to continue to hang out with the group, be cordial to her, but do not contact her directly and frankly just avoid getting too intimate with her. Your position should be this: her lack of response doesn’t bother you because she is immature and clearly playing games. She should go down 1 or 2 levels in your eyes because of the lack of integrity she has shown, and you should make this clear to her and the other friends in your group by showing them how little her presence and her behavior bother you. The best retaliation in situation like this is to show them how little it bothers you and how your confidence is not something that can be damaged by these kinds of childish displays.
If you follow my advice I guarantee you that she will eventually feel bad about her behavior and want to mend things with you, if she is a half decent person. If she doesn’t do that, it still doesn’t matter because you’ve basically shown your friends that *you* don’t let immature bullshit affect you or your friendship with your friends.
Honestly: why not simply attend? Throw in for a gift with the others in the group, congratulate her, make some smalltalk, be done with it. Why bother distancing yourself beyond just spending your time at the party with other members of your group, or people you don’t know yet?
This whole distancing yourself, telling the rest of the group about it, just seems like you’re still salty she ghosted you and want to pay her back somehow. Just let it lie; there’s no upside to forcing a rift in your group.
Have a conversation with her to clear the air, dont talk about your feelings (wanting a relationship with her), just tell her you understand that she is not interested and you are ok with that.
And dont do it again. Unless it is someone you see yourself marrying, dont hook up with people in your friend group.
She doesn’t want a relationship with you. It sucks but that’s life man.
She could have been more open and honest, but she doesn’t really owe you anything.
Seems to me like you already fixed your problem you’re just still in your feelings. If you’ve hung out as a group and had small talk She obviously just wants things to go back to the way they were.
You have two options, get over it and go back to normal. Or be upset and find a new friend group.
I don’t get it… She ghosted you, so you pulled away? That makes no sense to me.
Unfortunately you read the room wrong – the person just wanted some action and you wanted a relationship. Move on and learn from your experience. Avoiding the person is making it more of an issue than it needs to be.
The agreement of the drink in a somewhat vague way was a sign she didn’t want to go, should have dropped it at that point instead of “making intentions clear”. Probably freaked out the girl. Who the heck “makes intentions clear” for a first date?
Just act normal, when you see her just tell her she does not have to explain herself and that you understand her.
Tell her you still want to hang out with the group as before. That’s it.
Then afterwards when you see her in group, just be friendly and focus on the other friends.
This will put pressure off you and her.
Give it some time, you will feel chill back with the friendgroup and there is a chance when she feels at ease she will then tell you what there is.
Handle this like a boss.
Sounds like she wanted to be fwb and you wanted an actual relationship, and the first sight of feelings made her run. Brush it off and keep living! If you were invited, go! Go hangout with your friends. As someone else already suggested, try to go back to how you used to be pre-hookups.
Dude I don’t think anyone would care lol. You hooked up a few times and she wasn’t that into you, it happens. Just go to events and be polite. If you don’t show up to her party, just say you had work or something, you’re not jay-z.
You’re still hung up on this 6 months later? Be the bigger man by just acting like the whole thing didn’t happen and don’t pursue her any further. Only way you’ll mess up the friend group is by making this a thing.
Have you tried growing a pair of balls? Get over yourself, she had a fling with you and doesn’t want a relationship, end of story. From your comments she’s not making things awkward for you, you’re doing that all by yourself.
Go to her party with your friends, pretend you never had a fling, that you never sent that message and that life goes on as normal (because it does, the only person bothered by this appears to be you).
If you decide that you want to REALLY bother her for her treatment then go live your best life and let her see what she missed out on.
You will lose friends because of your attitude.
It’s not a problem unless you make it one. You shat where you eat so it’s kinda on you because there was only two outcomes here.
You literally act like you got MIB flashed and lost your memory it never happened. You go to the group function and act like nothing stinks, because it doesn’t. That’s what she’s gonna do.
I have always had a strict rule that I do not date friends. There is too much that can go wrong if either one person rejects the other, or if the relationship ends on bad terms. It can have a bad ripple effect that affects other friendships within your friends group. I’ve seen it happen too many times where friends date, things end on bad terms, and then one of them or both tries forcing people to pick sides. I’ve always told friends of mine that dated “Don’t expect me to stop being friends with the other person if things don’t work out with you two.” With friends, you can’t just think about the relationship itself. You have to think about the ripple effect that can occur as a result if things don’t go as planned.
Lmao noticeably avoiding someone at group events is significantly worse than not responding to a text. _You_ are escalating this situation, not her. _You_ are about to turn a private issue into a group problem. She’s trying to return to normal “friends within a group” situation while you’re lashing out via some sort of silent treatment 6 months after a few hookups.
It was shitty of her to not respond, but are we really calling that “ghosting” now? You’re still friends, you still see her and hang out with her, you’re even invited to her birthday party. It’s unfortunate that she chose to not respond instead of explaining, but cmon man. That’s not ghosting and you know it. If you asked a buddy to a football game and he didn’t reply but invited you to a party, you would not consider that friendship lost. It’s insane to say you were ghosted by someone you still see semi-regularly, especially given the fact that you’re the one instigating the silence in person now.
In these situations, I always wonder what the offended person would’ve preferred instead. You’d likely say “I want her to explain” but frankly, anyone who actively distances in a group over one unanswered text message sounds like a person who would not take a rejection explanation well. Would you _really_ have preferred her spell out why she was saying no? Would you understand or would you still be in the same boat, trying to find a way to obviously ignore her in public? What would have changed with her telling you her reasons? Like, genuinely, how would her telling you her reasons help you respond in a more mature fashion?
**It wouldn’t. And you know it. That’s the whole issue – you’re mad that she “ghosted” but you would’ve been just as mad had she explained her reasons. I can tell based on your reaction being to attempt public punishment at every group event for the past 6 months. You’re hoping to make group events awkward enough to the point that she “forgives” you and starts hooking up with you again. There is no other “win” you could achieve by actively ignoring a member of your own friend group. You are using her lack of text as reasoning and blame for your own piss poor behavior, just like a child would try to blame the dog.**
Idk. She should have responded, but it seems clear she is thinking of friend group dynamics and trying to minimize friction by not responding. You are actively introducing friction into your friend group by… what.. trying to punish her for not responding? Make her regret it? Make her notice you? Truly, please, _what the hell could your goal be otherwise?_
You need to figure out what your goal is with this, and you need to be honest with yourself. What you are doing is solely an attempt to punish her to make yourself feel better. There’s no winning here – there is literally no situation where doing this results in a _better_ circumstance for anyone, including you. The only outcomes are her actually ghosting you, your friend group getting mad at you, or in the worst case, your friends actually leaving you over this. I hope you learn to let go and be okay with this, because I really only see _you_ getting hurt in the end. This silent treatment won’t hurt her, and it won’t make her come back, but it just might push all your friends away.
I’d skip her birthday lol. Keep going to events but not that one.
Move forward like it didn’t happen. Act like you did before the hookups. Show that you have a measured and mature handle on the situation.
were you basically FWB only? was one of you looking to make it more than that? what conversations about your relationship have you had? are your friends aware that you hooked up? has she started seeing someone new? are you willing to lose your friends?
there’s more than just your relationship with her when talking about the greater friendgroup as a whole.
you don’t know her side, she may have started to develop feelings herself and decided to break it off as nothing was going anywhere.
is it an open invitation, you’ve been invited. while the party is for her, you could atleast show up for a bit of it and then dip with an excuse. if you have other friends in the group who know you’ve slept together and what’s been happening, have you inquired on what they thought about it?
now it helps that she’s distanced from you, but if you want to keep your friends you have to kinda power through and maintain friendships with others and atleast make it be less awkward and clear the room with the rest of your friends. it’ll cause them to kinda invite you out seperately, and have to play a “should i invite x or y to this?” making it awkward for everyone else.
Go to her birthday and bring a date. You are overthinking things.
It’s only weird if you make it weird man. Just continue being friends. She wasn’t feeling you like that and that’s okay. You guys had your fun. Don’t dwell on it and just move forward
It’s just the beginning of a group ghost-piracy to get rid of you.
Stright up. Just act like nothing happened. Be nice, friendly, etc. Go, bring a gift, say happy birthday, wish you health etc. Then, chill with the group.
If she wants to interact with you on a friend level, she will approach.
This situation only gets weird if you make it weird.
Talk to someone within the group you trust about it. Look to meet other ladies, and you don’t need to worry about ghosts spooking your thoughts. Never easy, never, but March on forward and let what’s done be done. She decided to be a dick and not communicate.
When people show you who they are, believe them! Your opinion of her handling of the situation likely doesn’t mean as much to her as it does to you…
I was the only girl in a large, tightly-knit group of friends in highschool, so this actually happened to me and I handled it like your friend did.
Most of us attended a small magnet school where students were expected to perform well academically, and the friends we brought into our group were of similar mindsets (ie logical/reasonable folks.)
One of those guys ended up asking me out. I loved him and thought he was hilarious but was completely uninterested in anything more than that. I froze when he opened up to me and blurted out such an autistic and cringey response, that I was actually grateful for the way he avoided me afterward (even though I missed his jokes and was a little saddened by the silent treatment)
Anyway he successfully regained composure around me and basically adopted a sort of “grey rock” attitude in my presence. We were still close with our friends and attended almost all of the same gatherings. But he looked right through me and only acknowledged me to the extent that it was necessary (if I asked a direct question and everyone knew he had the answer, or I contributed something noteworthy to a conversation he was already invested in, etc.)
But other than that I ceased to exist to the guy and no one – not even our best friends – seemed to pick up on it at all.
And it was a permanent change in our dynamic. This was twenty five years ago and on the few occasions our paths have crossed since then he greeted me in the superficial way you’d acknowledge an old acquaintance with whom you’d never been particularly close.
Total “meh” vibes from that guy, so I know it’s possible OP. You just have to stop giving a shit.
And as for HER: I don’t know how relatable my anecdote was for you, but if she is the only girl among a large group of dudes (and authentically accepted as “one of the guys”) then your expectation of her to handle the approach in the tactful way a woman should, might be misguided.
Maybe she’s autistic or schizoid or emotionally stunted in some way that prevents her from being able to bond with other women in the first place? The ghosting could be her awkward way of avoiding an emotional request to which she doesn’t know how to appropriately respond.
Jesus christ OP. You’ve gotten some good advice and you’ve gotten some really shit advice. Ignore all the “Grow a pair”, “man up”, “your piss poor behavior” responses. A lot of people here are making a lot of assumptions about this scenario.
Its perfectly valid to be a little hurt/frustrated/annoyed/put off by her ghosting you. Every woman is reluctant to say no to strange men, but if she’s in your friend group I have to imagine she at least knows you well enough to know you won’t freak out if she says “no thanks.”
Go to this party, do your best to act like you did before you asked her on a date. Otherwise, leave her alone. Interact with the rest of your friends. This is, in the scheme of things, not a big deal, so act like it. Be cordial, be chill, but focus on the friends you want to keep.
Best of luck, and don’t mind the trolls.
Did she invite you as an individual to her party, or was it an open invite? If she reached out to you, even just by sending an invite for the event page, it sounds like she wants to make amends. If you aren’t ready for that, you don’t have to accept the invitation. Really, if you aren’t comfortable, you don’t have to go at all. This is a person that makes you feel awkward now, and you don’t have to pretend she doesn’t. Nobody else needs to know why you can’t make it. It’s not their business if neither of you made it their business.
That being said, you should probably acceot the fact that if you keep skipping events that are focused on people other than her, it may alienate you from the entire group. It sounds like you’re already okay with being at hang outs that she’s also attending, so just keep in mind that you might see more of these.
If you ever feel ready, maybe reach out and try to talk through your awkwardness with her in a nonconfrontational way. Her birthday should be fun for her, so don’t make it about that, but maybe at a later date, for the good of the group, just try to talk to her about it.
Nothing, you move on – get a date outside the friends group and invite her to the group event.
So that way, it signifies that you have moved on and you really enjoy your time hanging out with the friends group as well.
Cheers
Rejection sucks. You wanted something she didn’t. You took a gamble and it didn’t work. I ALWAYS think it is shitty just to ghost someone, especially in a friends group situation like yours. Keep your feelings to yourself. If you make your issues everyone else’s you will definitely be solving this problem for yourself because they will probably all distance themselves from you. Pick and choose your spots to be around her, and don’t go to her thing. If anyone asks just shrug it off, it’s actually not their business. Just return her energy in kind and move on.
Another commenter said “Respect the dead and move on.” Fucking great advice.
This is why I scoff when women say you should date women in your friend group or meet people through friends. Like…imagine being a man and putting in effort to make friends. And then you date one of them and she just nukes your whole friend group. Most guys don’t make that many friends out of college.
Why?
It’s a difficult one. She seems a bit avoidant and might only have wanted the sex.
Not wanting to be around her is natural.
Can you talk to her face to face alone and figure it out?
If not I would suggest you take a break from the group. If people ask why, just be honest
Step one. Don’t let other people manipulate you…. End of steps
Some of the advice you’ve gotten here is good… but most of it sucks donkey dick (specifically the ones that say “just get over it” and “don’t ignore her that’s immature”, etc).
My advice is don’t go to the party. Pretend she doesn’t exist. Greyrock her. Ignore her unless she engages you, and then give short replies.
If your friends ask why you aren’t going to the party or why you’re ignoring her, be honest: tell them it’s because she’s a piece of shit. Explain what happened and that while you don’t hold anything against her, you want nothing to do with her.
If they don’t like this, is their problem, not yours.
Good luck OP. Let us know what happens.
It’s all completely upside down in todays society, wtf is even going on. You fuck someone before even going on a date, and then ghost lmao. People are totally fucked in their heads.