#consent #rape #lesbian #fingered #toxicrelationship
Is being fingered (as a lesbian) without consent still considered rape? As a 23-year-old woman who has experienced this firsthand, I understand the confusion and mixed emotions that can come with such a situation. Let’s delve deeper into this topic and explore it from different perspectives.
## What is consent?
Consent is defined as giving permission for something to happen or agreeing to do something. It is a crucial aspect of any sexual encounter and should always be respected. Without clear and enthusiastic consent, any sexual act can be considered non-consensual and potentially harmful. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner to ensure that both parties are on the same page.
### Elements of consent
1. **Clear communication**: Both parties should clearly communicate their desires and boundaries.
2. **Enthusiastic agreement**: Consent should be given willingly and enthusiastically.
3. **Mutual understanding**: Both parties should have a mutual understanding of what is agreed upon.
## Is being fingered without consent considered rape?
In the scenario you described, where you clearly expressed your desire to just cuddle and not engage in sexual activity, but your partner proceeded to finger you against your wishes, it is important to understand that consent was not given. Regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the individuals involved, any act performed without consent can be considered a violation.
### Understanding rape
1. Rape is a form of sexual assault that involves non-consensual sexual activity.
2. It is not limited to penetration and can include any unwanted sexual contact.
3. Consent can be withdrawn at any point during a sexual encounter.
## Seeking validation and support
It’s common for individuals who have experienced non-consensual sexual acts to seek validation and support from others. In your case, your friends may have shared their opinions based on misconceptions or biases. It’s important to remember that your feelings and experiences are valid, regardless of others’ perceptions.
### Importance of seeking help
1. **Counseling**: Speaking to a therapist or counselor can help process your emotions and trauma.
2. **Legal support**: If you feel that your rights have been violated, consider seeking legal advice.
3. **Support groups**: Connecting with others who have experienced similar situations can provide a sense of community and understanding.
## Advice from spiritual texts
In challenging times, seeking guidance from spiritual texts can provide comfort and perspective. The Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Hindu scripture, emphasizes the importance of righteousness, truth, and compassion. Reflecting on its teachings can help navigate difficult situations and find inner peace.
### Key teachings from the Bhagavad Gita
1. **Dharma**: Upholding righteous conduct and respecting others’ boundaries is essential.
2. **Ahimsa**: Practicing non-violence and compassion towards oneself and others.
3. **Self-awareness**: Understanding one’s emotions and boundaries leads to self-empowerment.
In conclusion, the experience you described is a clear violation of your boundaries and consent. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and seek support from trusted individuals. Remember that your feelings are valid, and it is crucial to set boundaries and communicate them effectively in any relationship. If you feel overwhelmed or unsure, do not hesitate to seek professional help. Stand firm in your truth and prioritize your safety and emotional well-being. 🌿
Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there is support available to guide you towards healing and empowerment. Take care of yourself and trust in your inner strength to navigate through challenging times.
Ok girl I am with a woman too and this is totally unacceptable.
ANY sort of touching, feeling, probing, intimacy, WHATEVER requires consent.
You need to speak up when you are feeling uncomfortable, just say No.
You always need to get new friends, ones who clearly understand the concept of consent!
Legally? Depends on the jurisdiction, it might be sexual assault or forcible sodomy.
Morally? Yes, of course. Your friends are idiots.
*describes the definition of SA/rape*
“is this rape?”
but seriously, it is
1. That’s sexual assault (especially since you expressed that you didn’t want all that)
2. Get yourself some new friends
According to the Police officer I was reporting a sexual assault to, “assault refers to no penetration, rape has to possess some form of penetration.”
She only clarified it because I wasn’t sure what to call what I had been through.
What the fuck??? You just described textbook rape, literally textbook.
The exact definitions of rape and sexual assault differ on where you are since they are generally legal terms.
I can tell you that where I am rape is defined as ‘sexual penetration without consent’ and it really can be as broad as that seems to imply. Gender is not a factor in the definition.
So where I am your friends would be categorically legally wrong.
That being said don’t get too hung up on definitions and words. You didn’t want what she was doing. That doesn’t change even if it was ‘not technically rape’ or whatever. Your friends are being absolutely vile, to the point I’d say you ought to question whether they are friends at all.
Your friends aren’t very smart.
Finger banging without your consent is still sexual assault in my opinion, male or female doing it to you….
At a minimum it’s sexual assault. I would certainly call that rape though.
“Since y’all are lesbians it isn’t considered rape”
So these idiots think that rape only occurs if a penis is used? SMH
It’s technically rape under definition as there was penetration.
honestly aside from the clear assault, she clearly doesn’t respect any boundary at all. she also doesn’t seem to understand that sex(of any kind)is a two way street. consent is not a concept she grasps. also if ur friends don’t think that’s SA, i personally wouldn’t feel safe around them.
I’m sorry but yes it is, it’s called digital rape.
Yes yes yes. No one gets to do that to anyone else.
Fuck that shit. Your friends are awful. Honestly? Fuck them. Yes, it was rape.
For all the people who basically commented “Nah you’re girls LOL” are the fucking problem. Yes, it’s rape. You said no, she continued. NO MEANS NO. There was zero consent to a sexual activity
That’s like saying if a man did it with his finger it’s also not wrong
That’s stupid any sexual actions without consent of both parties is rape
Legal definitions of rape are pretty confusing, but are outlined as a man committing unwarranted penetrative, oral, etc acts on a woman. If you felt that you were forced or intimidated, or did not give her any sort of acknowledgement of consent, it is rape. Rape and sexual assault are interchangeable, but sexual assault doesn’t always mean rape. At the very least you were sexually assaulted, and I think it can be qualified as rape because it was penetrative.
get better friends. any kind of non-consensual penetration is rape. i’m sorry.
It’s definitely sexual assault.
yes it is girl
Rape by definition is any form of sexual penetration carried out against a person against their will or without consent. Sorry. But get better friends.
You didn’t want to, that makes it bad.
1. yep, its rape. 2. please OP, like seriously, get yourself some better friends.
I’m sorry she did this to you but this is definitely rape. Anything that happens without consent there is sexual assault, no questions asked. I’d also worry about your friends for downplaying this cause it’s such a serious thing. You deserve better than that
That’s slimy and considered SA. She is not a friend-just a predator
My older lesbian coworker who is my friend but also a supportive figure. Has made sure I know that any type of unwanted penetration is rape, no matter if it is an object or fingers or a penis. It is rape.
It’s certainly sexual assault, so yes, I’d say so.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Get better friends. Penis or not, touching someone without their consent is sexual assault.
Any type of sexual act against your consent is considered sexual assault. She didn’t exactly rape you as she didn’t have sex with you but she did in fact sexually assaulted you. Also your friends are fucking assholes, I recommend getting new ones if you haven’t dropped them.
i’m so sorry you went through that, but it’s absolutely sexual assault. you didn’t consent and she continued even after you expressed your discomfort. a no in any form means to stop, regardless of whether or not the other person was “in the mood” or not. and you should drop those friends imo, invalidating your experience and brushing off something as serious as that is not ok in any circumstance