#JobChange #CareerAdvice #JobOffer #TechIndustry
Hey everyone! I’m in a bit of a bind and could really use your thoughts. 🙈
So, here’s the scoop:
- A couple of weeks ago, I accepted a job offer (let’s call it Job 1) with plans to start at the end of the month.
- Today, I got another opportunity (Job 2) that’s really hard to pass up. It’s not just a little better—it’s $50k more per year plus a $20k sign-on bonus! 🤯
- Plus, Job 2 offers a more senior position where I can build my own team.
You might be wondering how the benefits stack up. Thankfully, they’re pretty much the same, which is a relief. However, I did negotiate for a better salary with Job 1, so I doubt they’ll be able to match Job 2’s offer.
Here’s where it gets sticky:
-
Job 1 has already shared my hiring info with the internal team last week, showcasing my bio before I even start. I didn’t see that coming! 😬
- Both roles are within the same industry, using a similar tech stack, so I’ll likely cross paths with folks from Job 1 in the future.
Now, I’m feeling a bit guilty about potentially backing out, but I know I need to do what’s best for me.
So here’s my dilemma: How do I let Job 1 know about my decision? 🤔
- Is it okay to communicate via email?
- Should I reach out to the recruiter, the hiring manager, or both?
- I was also thinking of suggesting some other candidates for the role—good idea, bad idea?
I want to handle this situation with grace and professionalism, but it’s tough! If you’ve been in a similar position, I’d love to hear how you managed it. Any tips or experiences you can share? Let’s chat! 😊
I had a somewhat similar situation recently. Went through a strict pre-employment process and began my orientation week. Two days in, I got an offer I’d be an absolute fool to turn down. Once I made sure it was a lock I went there, apologized for circumstances and thanked them for the opportunity. The bridge will be burnt or it won’t. Email the hiring manager and keep it simple. Personally I wouldn’t recommend anything to a company I just blew off. Comes off as arrogant or lacking self awareness
No need to even say detail. Just say your circumstances have changed and you can’t take the position anymore.
Take the 2nd better offer. Always do what’s best for you. The 2nd offer clearly values you more than the first.
At this point there’s no real way to avoid burning the bridge and taking the reputation hit so in the future it will be a negative that may come up in your processes – those are just the consequences of your actions. Just keep it simple and be polite to not make it worse.
The actual solution would require a time machine. You shouldn’t have accepted the first offer knowing you’re still in a process for the second. Instead you tell the second you have an exploding offer and need to accelerate their process while you drag your feet on the first so you can get both offers in hand and make the decision, or get enough of a read on the second to know it’s not going to happen or the first is better anyways and then withdraw from the second process when you accept the first. Especially as you get more senior and reputation starts to factor in more as you go for roles.
Tell them that you got a better offer and want to know if they’ll match otherwise you have to follow what’s best for your career and you’re sorry for any inconveniences.
Don’t worry they have a second choice.
What did you end up doing?
I’d hold on to that grudge built up from all the times I waited on a reply to an application only to be answered with a generic rejection email after a long screening process that was inexplicably halted, and just give em the ol’
“I thank you for your interest in me as an employee and while I was impressed by your offer, I am very sorry to inform you I have decided to move on with other employers who are more suitable for the position”
Reach out to the hiring manager. State that due to a change in circumstances, you have to withdraw. Do it via phone to be more personal. Leave it at that.
They have another candidate and won’t be too upset. It happens frequently and they will understand. It is only a “burned bridge” if you give them a reason to be upset with you beyond “life happens”.
DO NOT offer “alternatives”.
This recommendation is from a hiring manager. Take it for what it’s worth.
Ultimately you have to do what’s best for you. A rational hiring manager should understand this. Companies only look out for themselves and you need to look out for yourself. Once your interests don’t align with the company or your manager you could be left dangling in the wind.
As an example, I once had an offer that I initially accepted (would’ve been remote for an out of state company) but decided to back out a couple of days before I was supposed to start. I didn’t have a better offer but decided it wasn’t a good enough opportunity to leave my existing role for. They were disappointed but they found somebody else (they always do since none of us is irreplaceable).
Fast forward a couple of years and I’m at a new job and we get a new CFO (I report to the CFO) that happened to be the CFO of the company I spurned so I was a little worried that he would hold that against me. In our first one on one he brought it up and told me that they were disappointed I backed out but that I’m in a better spot than if I would have taken their offer. So there were no hard feelings.
If they don’t understand then it’s a clue that it might not be a good culture fit for you anyway.
You weren’t the only person they interviewed for the position. They’ll be fine.
You should act with integrity. You made the best decision you could with the info you had at the time. You gave your word & need to honor it.
Email. “I have been offered a better position elsewhere so I will be taking that. Thank you for the opportunity.”
I anticipate the same thing coming my way pretty soon. Job 1 knows the market. They know you’re on the market. I would make sure Job 2 is signed, sealed, delivered (tell them to keep it hush for now) and then break it to Job 1. T
This isn’t personal. If Job 1 needed to drop you, they’d do it in a heartbeat. Don’t worry too much. It’s a job, not people. They’ll find someone else. They were already interviewing.
I’ve done this last year. I was going to job 1 but my former co-worker had an opening at his workplace and I talked to them and it was a better offer than job 1. I called job 1 and I thanked them for the offer but another opportunity came and I decided to take it.
You can be honest. Just tell them you got another offer and total comp is much higher and better opportunity and it’s something you’ll need to take and consequently will have to decline starting with them.
Just tell them that you got an offer that you can’t turn down, but you’re very grateful for their offer. (I’d probably try to avoid the phrase “better offer.”
To the hiring manager, you could say “I hope to keep in touch” since you will probably see him/her. To the recruiter, you could just say that you have colleagues that you can recommend, but only offer if the recruiter is interested. Sometimes they appreciate a good lead, sometimes they don’t. I wouldn’t bring it up to the hiring manager.
Right to work. Leave job 1, they would cut you if it suited them.