#FamilyIssues #ParentalRelationships #EmotionalChallenges #SelfWorth
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a parent tries to waltz back into your life after years of absence, expecting everything to be happy and normal? It’s a common struggle many individuals face when dealing with complex family dynamics. In these moments, it’s essential to prioritize your emotional well-being while also setting boundaries to protect yourself from further hurt and disappointment.
##Understanding the Root of the Problem
At the core of this issue lies a deep sense of betrayal and abandonment. Growing up without one or both parents can leave lasting emotional scars that are not easily healed. For the individual in this scenario, the pain of being cast aside by their mother at a young age has created a sense of resentment and mistrust towards her. The sudden reappearance of the mother, expecting a warm welcome and forgiveness, only adds to the emotional turmoil the individual is experiencing.
##Practical Solutions to Navigate this Emotional Minefield
1. **Acknowledge Your Feelings:** It’s essential to validate your emotions and recognize that it’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or confused in this situation. By acknowledging your feelings, you can start the healing process and gain clarity on how to move forward.
2. **Set Boundaries:** Clearly communicate your boundaries to your mother and let her know what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Setting clear boundaries will help protect your emotional well-being and prevent further misunderstandings.
3. **Seek Support:** Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to talk about your feelings and gain perspective on the situation. Having a support system in place can provide comfort and guidance during difficult times.
4. **Practice Self-Care:** Take time to focus on self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, exercise, or meditation to nurture your emotional well-being and restore balance in your life.
##Moving Forward with Confidence and Clarity
Ultimately, it’s essential to prioritize your own emotional needs and well-being in situations like these. While it’s natural to feel conflicted and uncertain about how to navigate complex family dynamics, setting boundaries and seeking support can help you navigate this emotional minefield with confidence and clarity. Remember, you deserve to prioritize your happiness and well-being above all else.
If she was truly feeling guilty she’d show it, not try and pretend she never left. NTA
NTA. The audacity of her to believe your dad would be willing to jump back into her arms after she ditched him and their child together. She should feel guilty.
NTA. She’s looking for you to relieve her guilt for the time she has lost rather than looking to see what she can do to make your life better with the time she has left.
This is NOT your fault and she, as an adult, should know better.
While I generally say it is better to have a mom in your life than not, it doesn’t sound like she is making an effort so no sense in dwelling on her for too long.
NTA – She made her choice by leaving u two. Whatever issues she has is not on u. Don’t let her emotionally manipulate u into helping her. Ur dad clearly has a reason for rebuffing her.
She obviously has some mental health issues if she believes she can walk back after 9 years and actual think she could pick up where she left off. I’d go low/no contact.
NTA. It is incredible that you are able to set such healthy boundaries for yourself, at just 14! You do not own her guilt. Zero.
Nta. Salt the fuck out of that wound
NTA. She is. At least the grandparents were there to help out some but she left and was missing for all of the difficult and important parts. Hopefully your dad has gotten over her. You would both be better served by helping him find love in a partner that deserves you both.
Your mother – me, me, me and me… it seems like she hasn’t changed.
And on top of that, she wants to include you in her scheming. I’d warn your father too.
NTA- you’re right! She made her choice to leave you and your dad. Choices have consequences and her “guilt” is hers if she even has it (I don’t think she does). She is selfish and is not good for you or your dad
If she felt so bad, why did it take 9 years to come back. Also are her parents part of your life?
NTA she is the one who wronged you. Any type of reconciliation should be on your terms, you where the victim from her actions after all.
You owe her nothing, it is she who owes you. Don’t let yourself be emotionally blackmailed or manipulated by her.
NTA
“Hi child I haven’t seen in 9 years, will you be my wingman? Oh, BTW, happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday. We cool now?”
NTA. She failed at acting, probably failed at whatever else she tried, and is now crawling back. Stay strong, if she genuinely wants a relationship, she’ll do the work to earn it.
She wanted to be an actress huh. She was 100% blowing directors and big wigs for her shot. Since she couldn’t suck and fuck her way to the top she’s come crawling back. She’s a loser and you are right to hate her
Nta
NTA at all and very much in the right, but I have a hard time believing this isn’t a bot. I’ve never met a 14 year old who knew how to correctly place rebuffed in a sentence. So if this is real, the boundaries you set and your use of rebuffed is impressive for your age.
Anybody who can willingly leave like that is *not* a parent. Do you think she’d have come back if she was actually successful? She’s probably motivated by need. NTA and I’m glad that someone as young as you can’t be manipulated like that. 👍
NTA OP and don’t let mum guilt or manipulate you to give her what she wants. Her problem is not your problem. If she tries again, tell a trusted adult to put a stop to her nonsense
NTA. That was exactly the appropriate response, and she should be embarrassed that her 14 year old child had to explain reality to her. You did a good job.
NTA my MIL abandoned my husband and his brother when his parents divorced. She wanted to open their marriage on her end he didn’t they split she left but didn’t want to take the kids with her. It was a nasty fight and his dad was awarded sole custody of both boys in the early 90s. They went so long without hearing from her that one time she did call and my husband didn’t know who she was. She’s attempted to come back into his life as an adult and play the mom card. Tried causing drama with our wedding because she didn’t get the mom privileges she didn’t earn. My husband basically told her at best they’d could be distant friends but she’d never be his mom because she never did anything to earn that title. We have a friendly relationship with her but it doesn’t reach much beyond Facebook friends and occasionally seeing her if she happens to come to town. Just like my MIL your mom didn’t earn the right to be mom or part of your life and you’re under no obligation to let her back into your life if you don’t want to.
NTA. Her dreams of Hollywood stardom fell through, so now she’s telling herself well at least I have a child who can lavish me with attention and adoration. Yeah no. Your response was perfect. She walked away from you because you were dead weight and an impediment to her “career”. She doesn’t get to waltz back in a be the adored mommy.
She doesn’t really want you or your father. She has no one and nothing else and so has reverted back to you two for a means if support. Disgusting really, especially since you, a minor are involved 😒 so sorry this is happening and your mother is a selfish jerk for using you. Yes…..she is simply using you to get what she wants (somewhere to stay and eat for free because she is broke af).
Why else is she back? You have mentioned no reason has been given by her for suddenly popping back up. Maybe she is: 1. Running from the law. 2. Running from a man. 3. Stony ass broke.
NTA. She fed you a load of horseshit. In this day and age of internet and face time you could have had a great long distance relationship. She didn’t want that. She wanted to play around and pretend she didn’t have a son. Try not to take it personally. Many woman are born without the maternal instinct. She is broken. When you get older you will have the choice to cut her out of your life completely. Surround yourself with people you love and love you.