#BabyShowerDrama #DogLoversUnite #FriendshipTest #HostingDilemma #PartyEtiquette
Are you in the middle of a hosting dilemma and wondering if you are in the wrong? Let’s dive into a real-life situation where a soon-to-be mom demanded a change in venue because of furry friends being present at the baby shower. 🐶👶
## The Initial Offer
A few months ago, a young woman (F28) offered to host her best friend’s baby shower. With a bond that spans two decades, the friendship seemed unbreakable. Being the maid of honor in the past, she felt obligated to offer her home as the venue. Invitations were sent, and plans were set in motion for a joyous celebration.
## The Doggy Dilemma
As the event drew nearer, the topic of her beloved lab and golden retriever came up. The expectant mom expressed concerns about having the dogs around, especially with many guests and young children in attendance. Despite the host’s assurance of the dogs’ good behavior and kid-friendly nature, the expectant mom felt uneasy about the party setting.
## The Ultimate Standoff
In a heated conversation, the host made it clear that her dogs were a part of the household and would not be locked away or sent elsewhere during the baby shower. The expectant mom, unwilling to compromise, requested a change in venue. The host, feeling aggrieved, stood her ground and insisted that the expectant mom find a new location for the baby shower.
## Facing the Fallout
Following the disagreement, the expectant mom labeled the host as insensitive and self-centered. The news of a venue change caused confusion and inquiries from guests, creating a rift among the attendees. In the midst of the chaos, the host wonders if she was in the wrong for standing up for her furry companions.
## Reflecting on the Situation
While the situation may seem trivial to some, it highlights the importance of understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries when it comes to hosting events. Here are some practical solutions to navigate such conflicts in the future:
1. **Open Communication**: Establish clear communication with guests regarding any potential concerns or limitations at the hosting venue.
2. **Compromise**: Seek a middle ground that respects both parties’ needs and preferences, ensuring a harmonious event for everyone involved.
3. **Respect Boundaries**: Recognize and honor each other’s boundaries, even if they may differ from your own.
4. **Consider Alternative Solutions**: If conflicts arise, explore alternative venues or accommodations to ensure a successful event without compromising anyone’s comfort.
In the end, while the host may have faced backlash for her decision, her loyalty to her furry friends and determination to uphold her beliefs serve as a reminder of the importance of staying true to oneself. In the world of hosting dilemmas, sometimes difficult choices need to be made to ensure harmony and authenticity in relationships. Remember, every decision made with love and respect is never truly a mistake. 🌟🐾
What is the conflict?
She asked, you said no, now the event will be elsewhere.
But I do think you should have agreed to put your dogs away for the duration of the party. Not everyone will love your dogs as you do, and I kind of doubt your dogs have experience with large groups of people in close confines.
ESH – a lab and a golden are big enough to get in the way of a party. I have three the same size and I’d never imagine hosting a party with little kids and food and having them run around. They’re better off in their beds for a few hours, away from the craziness that is a baby shower.
Not everyone loves dogs. Especially big dogs. You no doubtably believe they’re the best dogs that have ever dogged, but even good dogs are still animals.
I don’t understand how that was out of bounds of compromise?
But I don’t understand how this wasn’t brought up at the beginning. Seems like it should have been discussed far prior to invites being sent out which is where her blame lies.
ESH You may love your dogs but not everyone feels the same. I wouldn’t attend an event with “most well behaved dogs”. Why?? Because I’m not a fan of strange dogs. They make me nervous. If she’s saying they are a bit much you may be looking at them with rose colored glasses.
She knew you had dogs. This should have been addressed from the very beginning
Edit-Spelling
NAH. She doesn’t want the dogs around and asked for them to be removed. You decided not to do that. The shower is being moved which is a great idea
YTA, don’t offer to host a large party if you aren’t going to remove your dog. It should be common courtesy to offer to lock them away when hosting people. Thats the norm in my family and friend group.
YTA. A lot of people are afraid of or allergic to dogs. They shouldn’t be roaming a baby shower. It sounds like you care more about your dogs missing the party than your best friend of 20 years.
Lol
You can’t lock your dogs away for a few hours for A party? Give me a break. U are ruled by your dogs. They are not people. Furthermore they will be perfectly fine if you keep them away from the people. **yes I love dogs and they are wonderful animals and they deserve to be spoiled for anyone out there thinking I’m a dog hater.
Just say you can’t host the party and make everyone’s life easier
YTA tho
Yta. Put them in a room with water and tv. It’s a baby shower. Those things are 2 hours long.
I know you love your dogs and you think that they’re the most awesome creatures ever. However there are a lot of people that don’t like animals especially in the midst of a party, with other children and food around. I think it’s reasonable for her to not want dogs with the baby shower. Also she’s saying the dogs are a bit much, which is a very kind way of saying there’s a potential issue there.
She’s allowed to not want the dogs, you’re allowed to not want to put the dogs away for a couple hours for your 20-year friendship baby shower. I would let this go.
YTA. They are dogs. Being locked up for a few hours won’t hurt them. A lab and a golden are both big dogs that easily get in the way and can take food off the table. I’m 100% animals are family but that doesn’t mean they need to be involved in everything. Even the best behaved dog can unexpectedly snap at a small child or accidentally bowel one over. Be a responsible dog owner and put them in a different part of the house or outside while the party is going on so that no accidents happen.
I’d find a new venue, and uninvite you from my life.
YTA dogs are wonderful but do not belong at every event.
YTA a few hours of your life and your dogs life can be sacrificed for a best friend. Not everyone loves dogs or feels comfortable and as a host it is your responsiblity to look out for your guests.
ESH your house is probably not a good venue for the party. I would worry that someone, perhaps the kids, might mess with the dogs. That would be unacceptable to me. But also if someone says that your dogs are a bit much, then they probably are not as well-behaved as you think they are. I love animals but it can be kinda obnoxious when people let them run amuck.
YTA
Crazy dog people need to get over themselves. It’s not your baby, and it’s certainly not anyone else’s. You generally can’t have dogs running around with unfamiliar people at a large party. It’s irresponsible dog ownership.
People send their actual human kids out on a playdate when they have adult parties. My dad and I would help set up for my mom’s book club when she hosted, and then he and I would go to the movies.
The fact that your home is your dogs’ home tooo doesn’t mean they have to be there 24/7. That’s not what a home is for anyone! And **how long is a baby shower, anyway?** Don’t you have a neighbor kid who would be over the moon to make $20 to play in his backyard with your dogs for three hours? A cousin who can take them to the park for a big walk? Are your dogs really incapable of just staying in the garage. (Edit: Or is the real problem that you know are they so ill-behaved that no one will agree to watch them?)
Also, way to bring this up one week before an event that was months in planning. You are super weird as a dog owner for wanting to leave your dogs out at a party. You knew you had this unusual expectation and apparently really strongly want to get your way – so you waited to spring it on your friend until the last minute, thinking she’d have to cave.
Or, wait, I mean, you had no idea that most people would expect that you would not have the dogs running around at the party, and you’d never do something like that to your friend. Come on.
Also, I would like to nominate you for double asshole status for this magical line:
>She explains that my dogs can be a bit much, i’m like I don’t know what you are talking about.
Oh, sure you don’t.
As a hard core dog lover (my dogs are family) YTA.
Not because you won’t protect the guests from the dogs, because *you refuse to protect your dogs from strangers*.
You said there will be kids at this party. Kids should NEVER be around dogs unsupervised. You will be hosting this party, so there is no way you can pay attention to your dogs and their interactions with all the guests. What if a kid pulls a tail, or pokes an eye? You’re supposed to protect your dogs, not leave them out in possibly dangerous situations.
YTA. Do your dogs really want to be around random people and children? I would lock up my animals for their own safety/comfort if I offered to host.
A group of young children at a hectic party with a strangers big dogs are not a great mix. Most women I know put their dogs away for lots of parties and events-and ALWAYS when there are young kids. If an incident happens god forbid-you are responsible for whatever legal and physical damage happens. Its best for everyone’s sake and safety.
YTA Nobody wants 2 big dogs at a baby shower where there will be small children, along with food or drinks. It’s not a big deal to lock them up or put them outside during the party. It’s not fun when the dog steals food off the table or out of a child’s hand. Plus all the dog hair all over the guest’s clothes.
You should have offered to remove them from the party from the beginning. Not everyone enjoys dogs or is comfortable around them.
I have always had dogs. But they’re still dogs, not people. They’re ok outside for a while or even crated.
You signed up to host the shower. A good host doesn’t make their guests uncomfortable.
You’re a jerk. I hope you enjoy your dogs company, cause you’re not a good friend to people.
This event is about her and her new to be baby, not about your dogs. YTA
Yta. She’s told you your dogs can be a bit much, and you just outright dismiss that comment without stopping to consider why she thinks that. Despite your belief they are well behaved, HER baby shower is not the place for the dogs. While she should have confirmed earlier, I agree with her entirely.
YTA. I have pets. They’re lovely and I love them, but when having lots of people over for a gathering at my house I either send them over to my BIL’s house or to doggy daycare for the day. They’re happier, I’m happier, my guests are happier. A full house combined with big dogs is no fun for so many reasons. You’re being ridiculous.
YTA
I grew up with big dogs, am a dog lover and all of that, but we always would gate our dogs in another room when we had company that size. Why? Because they were big, got in the way, would beg for food (most people find this annoying) and just basically be underfoot all the time. We also understood that not everyone is a dog lover and wants a 70 pound lab getting in their face for hugs and kisses.
What she was requesting isn’t rude by any stretch and it’s only for a few hours. Your dogs will be fine being confined to a different part of the house.
YTA. Your friend told you your dogs can be a lot and you refuse to hear her. I never let my dog loose when I have company unless they request it.
When I meet a dog that doesn’t jump up on me in greeting me the first time, I’ll consider having that pet at a party.
YTA I’m sure you could easily find some friends who would love to take your dogs for a few hours. The dogs would have a blast and the friends get some dog time.
You are losing a decades long friendship over animals that likely will have died of old age in the next ten years.
YTA. You offered your home to host a party. You’re responsible for making everyone feel comfortable. Not everyone is comfortable with large dogs, regardless of how great they are.
The dogs won’t be upset or injured by hanging out in a room for a few hours—give them a treat after if you feel bad about it but you’re definitely the asshole for pulling this a week out.
YTA. Seriously, putting the feelings of two dogs above the legitimate concerns of a long-time friend? Not everyone likes the idea of animals in the same room as food, much less small excitable humans. You made a bad call, OP—YTA.
Underwriter here. You are really better off putting the doors in a closed room away from the party or leaving with a frien or at a kennel for the day. I’ve seem so many insurance claims from this exact situation.
Dog never bite anyone, friendly, kids mesed with the pet and get bit. Dogs running and knock down grandmom who beaks a hip.
I know people who lost pets like this also, kids open door, dogs get lost.
YTA dogs should always be put away for a party.
I’m sorry YTA. I think she is fair in asking you to keep your dogs away during a party when there is going to be food, games, gifts etc. As much as they are well behaved they are still likely to get over excited, in the way, run around and be a general distraction. A baby shower is not the place for dogs. Would it really have been that much of a hardship to keep them away for a few hours. Not everyone is a dog person and if you probably should have preempted this. If you’re weren’t willing then you shouldn’t have offered to host the party. It just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
YTA – your dogs may “love kids” but not all kids (or adults) love dogs. My kid is terrified of dogs, and I’m almost certain it’s because of people like you letting their dogs knock him over when he was a toddler. They’d yell “It’s ok, my dog loooves kids,” and do absolutely nothing, while my toddler is on the ground hysterical with a giant monster with giant teeth slavering over his face.
YTA I love my dog and I disagree with you. You’re not talking about a family dinner it’s a whole ass party. Why would you want your dogs in a space with a ton of people and small children? That’s not a good mix, I don’t know what you’re thinking. It’s not good for the guests, the children, or anyone for that matter -except you. It’s called hospitality. Make it comfortable for your guests. It’s a few hours for gods sake. I would put my dog away for her own sake! Stop being selfish your dog won’t care.
YTA. It is absolutely not uncommon for pet owners to put their pets in a garage, closed room, or secure space outside during a special gathering. It is only for a few hours. And while you view your dog’s behavior or energy one way, she is taking you she sees it differently…. you may want to listen.
yes. As a dog owner and lover, I would not be hosting a large event, with dogs, without either moving them for the time of the event, having them stay elsewhere. Minimally, having a handler responsible for the dogs, and warning everyone in the invitation that dogs are on premises is needed. How will you host and manage the dogs’ excitement. How many treats are the dogs going to eat? How will they respond to rambunctious kids who may not be appropriate around dogs.
You have been a big disappointment to a friend.
I had 2 Goldens. They loved people. Any party or BBQ we had they thought was all about them and soaked up the love. But they’re also big, goofy, busybodies. If I was hosting a baby shower for a friend and she asked me to put them away because they’re overwhelming, I would do it because the party is for her. It’s not for me, and it’s not for my dogs.
Also, the whole “they live here too” argument doesn’t fly in this situation. It’s not like she’s staying the night and asking them to be locked up all day. It’s a few hours. And when you offer to host people or parties, you should try your best to accomodate them within reason. In this case, she’s being reasonable and you are not. YTA
In my experience, the most responsible dog owners with perfect dogs are the ones most likely to keep their dogs away from settings like this — with the exception of specially-trained service dogs, of course.
Also, in my experience, responsible dog owners are open to feedback If you so-called best friend, who knows you and your dogs well, tells you that your dogs are a bit much, why aren’t you open to that feedback?
You’ve chosen your pets over your friend. YTA.
YTA
Part of hosting is being considerate of your guests, and some people are afraid of dogs. It’s a kind gesture to put the dogs in a back room. We usually use our bedroom and crate our dogs- An added benefit to this is no one snoops in your room! As the party gets towards the end, you could ask if any of the guests would like to meet your dogs – and then monitor the introductions. I love dogs but always keep mine crated in my room so as not to frighten anyone or have a dog overwhelm or accidentally trip someone.
YTA. “Your dogs are a bit much” is a nice way of saying “Your dogs are a pain in the ass.”
YTA. A backyard BBQ, sure, keep the dogs around. A baby shower, where people are dressed nicely and there’s food all over the place and kids running around? Not the best place for two medium-large dogs to be. From your friend’s comment it sounds like you are overestimating how much everyone loves your dogs and how much they would impact this gathering. You offered to throw a party for your friend and have rescinded it ONE WEEK in advance because of something which could be easily handled or compromised on, that’s a MAJOR AH move.
Definitely YTA bc you sound like a bad dog owner. “They can be a bit much” yeah you have a lab and a golden, they definitely are and the fact youre too blind to see this makes you the problem. You shouldn’t have agreed to host if you were going to refuse to be a good host. Unsupervised big dogs around food and kids is a no, its bc of entitled dog owners who think they’re dogs are entitled to being involved in every little thing and who refuse to follow common sense that makes ppl not like dog owners anymore.
I’m a veterinarian and I’m 100% YTA here. Not everyone is a dog lover. And kids should absolutely not be around dogs they aren’t familiar with in an uncontrolled/chaotic environment – you are begging for disaster. It isn’t dog abuse to keep them in your room for a few hours. If that’s not a possibility, you shouldn’t have offered to host the party.
>She explains that my dogs can be a bit much, i’m like I don’t know what you are talking about.
This suggests that your dogs are not as “well behaved” as you think they are. You sound like one of those dog owners who’s like “Oh, he’s fine, he’s just friendly!” when their dog is jumping and slobbering on someone who may not care for that kind of contact with dogs. Even if this isn’t the case, dogs don’t belong at this kind of gathering. YTA.
Info: why do you think dogs are appropriate at a baby shower?
YTA. Everyone who has dogs loves them, but don’t seem to understand that not everyone else does. They’re like little children. Except they never grow up. (the dogs)
You should have confirmed at the start of the planning. You assumed. Then died on that hill when your friend asked you to not include the dogs at the party.
You made your choice. She made hers. Y’all both need to respect that.
YTA – So you couldn’t put up a baby gate for 2 hours? I’m a dog lover but I’d have no problem gating off a door or hallway during an event.
Why are you willing to ostracize your heavily pregnant best friend of 20 years, rather than put your dogs in a bedroom with some chew toys for a few hours? You’re going to have strangers and children in your house, some of whom know nothing about dogs or are afraid of them, with all kinds of forbidden food for the dogs to eat, doors opening, people going in and out, etc.
This a weird hill for you to die on. YTA here and you’re being really unkind and selfish towards your friend.
YTA. I just threw a baby shower at my home for my son and daughter in law. I have two dogs and put them in my basement with a heater on, toys and water. My dogs are my babies and everyone that came to my home loves them, but a baby shower is not the place for them to be hanging around. I can’t imagine why this is such an issue for you.