#FriendshipDilemma #PotterySetConflict #NavigatingPriceIssues
Do you ever find yourself in a sticky situation with a friend over money? 🤔 Well, here’s a relatable scenario for you: A close friend of yours has taken up pottery, and you’re excited to support their new hobby by purchasing some of their handmade creations. However, when the price tag unexpectedly hits you, you’re left feeling conflicted and guilty. 😬
The Dilemma:
You and your friend, both 29M, had a casual conversation about getting some pottery pieces for your new place. Without discussing prices beforehand, your friend presents you with a set of 6 plates and 6 bowls for a whopping $450, even after offering a “friends and family discount.” 💸 This price tag catches you off guard and makes you hesitant to go through with the purchase.
The Conflict:
After expressing your surprise at the high cost and suggesting that your friend could sell the set at full price to someone else, tensions rise. Your friend takes offense to your hesitation and reacts angrily, cussing you out over text and distancing themselves from you and your group of friends. The situation escalates quickly, leaving you feeling confused and guilty about the fallout. 😞
Practical Solutions:
1. Communicate Clearly:
- Explain your budget constraints and honest feelings about the price openly and respectfully to your friend.
- Express gratitude for their hard work and talent while setting boundaries for what you can afford.
2. Seek Compromise:
- Suggest alternative payment options or compromise on a smaller set of pottery items that fit within your budget.
- Offer to promote your friend’s work to others who may be willing to pay the asking price for their creations.
3. Apologize and Clarify:
- Apologize for any misunderstanding or offense caused by your initial reaction to the price.
- Clarify your intentions and willingness to support your friend’s passion, albeit at a more affordable price point for you.
Remember, it’s essential to prioritize open communication, mutual understanding, and respect in resolving conflicts with friends, especially when money is involved. By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to find common ground, you can navigate this challenging scenario without jeopardizing your friendship. 🤝
NTA. For a starting out “artist” the price your friend asked seems a little high.
Either way, he should have given you a quote BEFORE he started making the pieces and made sure you had an agreed price in place.
Ohmygawd you are NTA! You mentioned buying some pieces for your new place, and without discussing price with you, he made a set of dishes that are too expensive for you. If he had talked to you before and you’d agreed to the dishes and the price then backed out, you’d be in the wrong here but that’s not what happened. And you’re right, if he’s any good he can sell these pieces to someone else. Don’t let him guilt or manipulate you into thinking you’re at fault here. Enjoy your trip with your friends without any drama he would have brought along.
NTA. Lesson learned – always get the price before you agree to buy.
He’s asking $37.50 per piece. Unless he is incredibly talented, he is not going to be able to sustain that level of pricing, particularly since his real asking price would be twice that.
Let him be mad at you. That is a large amount of money for a small amount of product. If he knew he was going to be charging that high a price, he should have made it clear to you before making the product.
I had something similar happen to me very recently from an “up and coming artist” in LA
Aka my long hair tattooed neighbor that recently took up pottery
NTA.
His reaction to your very polite way of declining to spend a good chunk of money makes it very clear that there isn’t much you can do here. Go on the trip with your friends, enjoy your time, let him figure out the friendship on his end and until then, go on with your life. If people ask, you can decline to comment or say something like “he got upset with me for declining to buy his pottery at what I would say is a significant amount- and it is beautiful by the way- and he cussed at me for declining. I’d rather leave it at that as I don’t want to make it a bigger issue.”
He doesn’t get to cuss at you and then leave you feeling bad for not spending money on his pottery. If he wants to sell his stuff, he’s going to have to act more professionally and less sensitive, even with friends. If he asked you to spend $10 on a ticket to see him perform, I’d say go. If you are very well off and he was asking you to buy $50 worth of pottery, I’d say go for it. Even then, if said no, he shouldn’t cuss at you. It is good to be able to be a friend who supports other friends in their financial pursuits or artist endeavors, but it is very unfair for friends to EXPECT their friends to shell out cash to them.
NTA
You said you were interested in buying some pieces, **not** that you wanted him to make you custom pieces. He should have let you know his idea to make you custom pieces **before** making them and, if you he did, you could has asked about the price.
I think the main piece of info here missing is whether you asked him to create the set for you or if he made it specifically for you without any prior discussion and then told you the price.
NTA He probably did not make them for you.
He hoped you would feel obligated and buy them.
You wanted to support him but he should have
proposed a few pieces, different prices so
you could choose.
> I mentioned I’d be interested in buying some of his work for my new place.
This right here makes you NTA.
You didn’t say, “Yes I’d like to buy 6 plates and 6 bowls.” You indicated you would be **interested** in buying **something**. It was up to your friend to follow up and say, “What type of pieces would you be interested in? Would you want a set of plates and bowls?” Maybe you’d have just been interested in a pitcher or something!
That he completed the work without giving you the price ahead of time, and confirming your acceptance, is on him. This is a lesson for him to learn with this new business venture.
Finally, one where I have a little bit of expertise. $450 ($900, regular price, apparently) is absurdly high for a beginner potter. If this was an established, experienced, famous-in-your-region potter, then maybe that would be an appropriate price, but yikes.
INFO: Did you ask for 6 bowls and 6 plates? Or did you just say “I would like to buy *something* for my new place”?
NTA. He should have asked you before going all in on a set. He’s trying to guilt you into shelling out WAY too much cash for a probably mediocre set. Tell him he’s charging too much and go on the trip without him. If he wants to throw a fit, let him.
NTA by any stretch of the imagination – I say this as somebody who buys pottery from professional potters, and not people who recently picked it up as a hobby. My most recent purchase was a sizeable vase that I picked up at a pottery invitational at a local gallery near me. It was $80. I live in an area where day trippers come from hours away to shop at out many local galleries, I bought a very large bowl recently too, a very very large shared salad type bowl, drop dead gorgeous, at our leading pottery guild shop, $45. Again, by somebody who has years upon years of experience and does this as a career. $37.50 each per dinner plate and bowl is really steep compared to prices I pay from established artists. $75 a pop for something so small, that’s a price point reserved for really the upper echelons of potters. Like, even if this guy is some incredible prodigy that has developed his skills at an sovant like pace is steep for his amount of experience. $240 or so for the set would be a more reasonable upper end craft show full price, and $150-$180 friends and family discount price range I would say.
NTA
You never confirmed that you were going to buy anything, much less a set of 6 plates and bowls. As I fully appreciate how expensive art supplies are (daughter in art school, it’s insane), he shouldn’t have gone ahead and made all of this without talking to you about it first. Not just a passing “hey yeah I’d like to buy something off you” without clarification.
Curious what the rest of the friend group thinks of this? Has he gone off the rails over other things before?
Long time potter here, so you’d think I’d be on his side, but no. NTA. He made a classic beginner mistake and didn’t get paid up front, or even take a deposit. It is a lot of work, that’s true, but if you did not agree to pay him $450 before he put in the work, that’s on him. It’s a lesson he’ll hopefully only learn once.
NTA, lmao, well, you both should have mentioned the price beforehand.
NTA. So very NTA. Your “friend” tried to rip you off. And is still trying. Let them go. Enjoy the trip without them and if asked why the friendship ended, tell the truth. They tried to scam you and you wouldn’t let them. Some friend.
Does the pottery have 24 karat gold and diamonds inside because I can’t see pottery being made by somebody that just started for $450 discounted.
$37.50 per piece is extremely expensive . NTA
Maybe he should offer it to one of the other friends in the group and see what they say.
And piece of advice, cause I’ve been down this road never say you’re gonna buy some thing that a friend makes without without first seeing it and asking the price before committing.
Years ago I had a friend who started a business importing, cinnamon, turmeric, and ginger from South America and as we had been friends for 10 years and my husband had done free plumbing repairs for her multiple times I asked her if I could have literally a tablespoon of each to try them and she said ‘oh no you have to buy a 1 pound bag from the website at $40 a bag like everyone else’. Needless to say we are not friends anymore.
Someone who has “just taken up” pottery doesn’t get to charge hundreds and hundreds of dollars for a few dishes.
NTA, but yeah, you should have asked the price first.
He is the ah for charging that much for clay crap
He’s scamming you. You clearly meant you’d look at some pieces and decide on one.
NTA. Honey, I am a maker and I don’t make shit for friends and family until I have specifics and a deposit.
NTA honestly I really commend your ability to say no despite the social awkwardness. I woulda been fucked.
hahaha 450 with f&f discount! lol
he’s pissed cause he was counting on that money to buy weed. 😂😂
Lmao good for him for charging what he feels he is worth but those prices are unreal, especially to just spring on you. Add to that the costs of moving? Nah, he is out of line.
NTA
NTA. That’s insane 😂
NTA can’t have a meeting of the minds without a price.
NTA.
You did not ask this friend to make anything for you. There was no deal set or pricing talked about between you. He made the 12 pieces on his own.
Part of my art practice is ceramics. If someone commissions me to make something, we sign a contract. Friend, family, stranger, doesn’t matter. He has no contract, not even an agreement. Plus, if he’s that new, those prices are pretty high for simple utilitarian ware. That’s 37 bucks a pop – at 50% discount! For a plate or a bowl made by an amateur? No. I’ve been making ceramics for over 20 years and I would only charge around 30 bucks for a simple small dining bowl, zero decoration, just glazed in one color – with no discount.
Your friend thinks pretty highly of himself. So a regular, non-discounted customer would pay $75 a piece for a newbie’s pots? Not happening.
He can go pound sand.
I’m a relatively new artist myself and was just approached last week by a friend wanting to commission some work. I told her not yet, my skills are not up to standard yet to go professional. If I were ready and someone were to say to me _“[they]’d be interested in buying some of [my] work for [their] new place”_, my response would be “Come see what I’ve got. You can either choose from my existing stock or perhaps I can make something special for you.” That second conversation would be the time to talk prices and/or take a down payment on the commissioned work. So up to this point, imo, you are NTA.
Otoh, I’d like to know a little more about your conversation while_”We were texting about it…”_
You gloss over this part making me wonder if maybe you did actually place an order for a pottery set, even unintentionally. I might change my judgement depending on the content of your text messages.
**YOU** I’d be interested in buying some of *your* work for my new place. I’m not sure what I’ll need ceramic wise; I’d have to think about it. Yea maybe you could make me some plates and bowls.
**HIM** Great! Thanks for supporting me! So what kind of plates and bowls are you thinking? Like how big? Serving plates? Dinner plates? Little plates? And are you wanting a giant chip/salad bowl or more like a soup bowl or a cereal bowl?
**YOU** Gee. I hadn’t thought about it. A set of 4 dinner plates and 4 cereal bowls would be cool. How much for those?
**HIM** The set would be $450 for all 8 pieces.
**YOU** 😱 Omg there’s no wayI can afford that bc I don’t actually need any of it, I just wanted to support you. Maybe I’ll just do a coffee mug. How much would a mug be?
**HIM** A basic mug would be $28.
**YOU** Okay, let’s do that then. Thanks!
**HIM** No problem and thanks again for your support! What colors do you want on the mug?
^ This is a fairly decent representation of the conversation that should have taken place. Do not feel bad one bit that the guy didn’t think things through. You stand your ground because you’re going to resent those plates/bowls so much you won’t even want to see them in your cabinets let alone eat off them. NTA
NTA- artists who are trying to make a living in their work negotiate the price beforehand. This is just sleazy- if your friendship was casual, write it off.
He should have been up front. But to be fair, if he’s good, that’s a deal. Not something you’re willing to spend and that’s where I think artists are out of their head – your work can be worth something but it doesn’t mean you’re entitled to how other people spend their money. Also, think about what it means to “support” someone’s work…and he’s giving a discount. This very often happens with artisans who don’t communicate. They put love and effort in and don’t show the piece or share an expected price. As a buyer you should know the price is also an estimate and in future expect 20% more than quoted. You are also 23 and that is astronomical. I wouldn’t spend that now even if it was beautiful and “worth it.” I’m much older than you. I might buy a $40 bowl somewhere. But not $160 even if I love it. I have seen ones like this. So honestly NAH imo.
NTA.
The only thing I’d really say you did wrong would just be… you could have phrased it better. Maybe instead of
>I responded, pretty surprised, saying that the price was higher than I anticipated and suggested that he might be able to sell it at full price to someone else who could appreciate it more at that value.
you could have gone with something more like, “Oh that’s way out of the range I can afford right now, but it’s really great. Maybe another time.”
The bit about “someone else could appreciate it more at that value” kind of comes off as you saying it’s not worth that. Which I get was unintentional, but misunderstandings happen.
All that said… he just recently took up pottery and wants to charge you $450 for 6 plates and bowls and says it’s normally $900? Does anyone buy his stuff? Because he sounds a bit delusional here. It’s completely unreasonable to get upset that someone doesn’t want to spend that much money on table settings.
If one of my friends offered me a set at that price, I’d assume it was a joke. You’re both under 30, why does he think you have that kind of money to drop?
I sell £200+ handmade ceramic mugs.
NTA.
He’s not going to get far with that attitude.
While £30 something quid is not an outrageous price I am side-eyeing selling single plates and bowls for £75+ if they have only ‘recently taken up pottery.’
I doubt they’re making anything all that unique or skilled. Are they making up their own glazes? Throwing anything especially spectacular? Hand painting them with intricate designs?
What’s with the mark-up? Because I could guesstimate the cost of materials being… eeeh £75 or under including glaze used, clay and electricity and I could knock out 6 plates and 6 bowls in a few hours (+2 days drying, night bisque and maybe an extra afternoon painting/ dipping with an extra day to dry and a night to fire.)
Ultimately you get to charge what people are willing to pay for your work. If they arn’t willing to pay, then you don’t go throwing a paddy about it.
Unless he carved your name on the bottom. If they are worth what he’s trying to charge you, somebody else will buy them from him, and for double the price as well. Win win.
Seriously? Just say that you love his work, but you can’t afford those prices. and maybe make an offer on a piece you like that you can afford. Only an absolute asshole would expect or demand that you spend $$$$ on their stuff… unless you’re stinking rich.
Decent folks know that their friends are not rich and have financial limits
It’s of course sad that an artist is not being paid for his work, but I’m blown that he didn’t consult you about ANYTHING – price, design, quantity, shape. Like his artistry is just all you need to commit to $450. NTA
Some people are just not realistic about the worth of their work. Also new artists sometimes don’t ask around about how to sell and what the customs and expectations are. It’s not that hard.
NTA. He didn’t tell you he was planning on making you a $900 set of dishes. He has to learn that price is important to discuss, and you were looking for a few bowls, not art.
I’m a potter. $450 for 6 plates and 6 bowls is OUTRAGEOUS. NTA.
Oof. Yeah, the charitable interpretation is that he approached it more like a gift than a commission (i.e. choosing what to make for someone), just with the expectation that you’d pay (but a discounted(?) price, which he may have felt generous about). The *un*charitable interpretation is that he figured he had a guaranteed sale and was free to make it expensive.
I guess you’ll have to decide which is more in-character for him, but NTA either way. With any luck he’ll be able to sell it to someone else and take it as a lesson on having the discussion about price (and what specifically the person actually wants to buy), *before* doing any work on it.
Yeah so an artist that’s just now gotten into their art shouldn’t be charging prices like this. It’s ridiculously egotistical to think his ceramic dish set is worth anywhere near that cost. NTA.
NTA. If his pottery is truly worth that much, he shouldn’t have a problem selling it to somebody else for more than the $450 F&F price that he quoted you.
NTA
Your suggestion was great, then he doesn’t have to give the discount and can pocket the full 900.
Unless of course it’s not worth that much..
NTA. Even though you mentioned plates and bowls, he never should have started anything without giving you an estimate.