#STEMCrisis: 🎓💔 My parents want me to leave my Computer Science degree for Health Sciences… help!
Hey y’all, I’m in a tough spot and I need some advice 😔 Here’s the deal:
– I’m studying Computer Science at the best university in my country 🌍
– My grades are good (B+ average), but I struggle HARD with programming and Leetcode-type problems 💻
– My dad, a successful statistician, thinks I’ll never make it in CS and wants me to drop out immediately 😭
– He’s even willing to pay for me to study something in Health Sciences instead, which he says I’ll excel in 🩺
I’m torn between following his advice for a “safer” career path or trusting in myself and sticking with CS. What would you do in my shoes? Any advice on how to navigate this difficult situation? 🤔
#FamilyPressure #CareerDoubts #STEMStruggles
Possible solutions:
– Have an honest conversation with your parents about your passion for CS and the potential for growth in the field
– Seek guidance from a career counselor or mentor who can provide insight on alternative paths within STEM that align with your strengths and interests
– Consider exploring internships or volunteer opportunities in both CS and Health Sciences to gain hands-on experience and make a more informed decision about your future career path
Listen to your father.
I’m a mediocre software engineer that your father would probably tell “you aren’t cut out for this” to as well.
I guarantee I made more money in the past year than your father did in the past 5 from my earnings as a software engineer + investing and options trading.
Stick to what you want to do.
“you either got it or you don’t”
Your dad is wrong. I struggled my way through school and had a horrible GPA, around 63%. I didn’t understand programming fundamentals for the longest time but it’s all a part of the process. If you like it and you’re willing to work on it, keep at it.
Btw this somebody/nobody mentality is dumb as fuck. You can be a somebody in your neighborhood and a nobody in your city. You can be a somebody in your city and a nobody in your country. You can be a somebody in your country and a nobody in the world.
It seems like your dad is projecting.
Some of the people that struggled the most in school/uni have the best careers because they worked harder than anyone else to get to the same place.
I took a programming class in high school. I had a hard time learning the concepts, and I left the class deciding that programming was not for me. Later, in college, I took a few other programming classes on a whim, and everything just clicked. I started to do really well in my classes and I ended up changing my major. From personal experience, I would say it is not always you have it or you don’t. Programming is just like other skills (sports, music, etc) it can often take practice and experience to get a knack for it.
Hey, are all cs developers really somebody? There’s like millions of in the US. I don’t know anyone by name.
Your father wants the best for you. However, it’s your life.
If CS is just a means to a paycheck, drop and follow in his footsteps because it seems like he’s basically saying he’ll guarantee your career with his connections.
If CS is more than just a means to a paycheck, then stick with it and work x10 harder than anyone else.
I couldn’t give two shits about what your parents think, so I skipped over that part. But if you’re struggling substantially more than your classmates, and you are putting in the effort, then perhaps this just isn’t the career for you. It’s a difficult major and not everyone has the aptitude for it. That’s not to say the people who “get it” are necessarily smarter, it’s just a matter of how our brain works. There are plenty of things others do that I would suck at no matter how much I put into it. I’m not saying this is for sure your issue, but something to think about.
I tried my best to keep it short, but I couldnt write less than this. I am really schocked. I will accept any help/advice. My dad is so pissed that he actually paid a professional to make an IQ test on me. He is very strict and wanted to show me I had problems in math/STEM/Programming knowledge. I ended up with a a 128 verbal IQ, which is fine, but only 110 performance/executive IQ. I am not an expert on IQ, but my dad told me the performance IQ is what matter. He is very famous and so successful I always end up respecting/obeying him. But this time I feel like the biggest loser ever. My dad says I need more than 110 to be successful. He said 120+ minimum. I also didnt qualify for adhd treatment or whatever, so there is no special medication to help me
Since I need so much time to perform decent on the area, I dont know what to do. Do I trust my guts? Or do I obey father? My family is extremely traditional. I know this post will seem weird to many but my dad is basically a drill sergeant. But he makes good money and knows things so I am always afraid of going against him.
I will translate here exactly what word my father used. I really got me in a state of schock. I never asked my dad for help or whatever, but he knows I spend all my time studying. Here it goes:
“Son, I am concerned about you. I see you struggle so much on programming. Let me tell you. I struggled a lot while studying statistics. I spend years on it and I know the field. I will be honest with you. You are not cut for this. Remember when you got lots of Bs in Mathmatics in high school? Yeah, thats it. These guys were always better than you. In STEM you either have it or you dont. The way I see it, You will always be a nobody on the field. Look at India and China. So many smart guys there. Why woud they hire you? You are already slower than the guys in our country. You give me anxiety son, because I dont like seeing my own son trying so hard just to be a nobody”
I dont understand why the downvotes. I am just asking a genuine question. Never see my dad so angry/disappointed at me. He says I am the cause of his anxiety.
Op your TLDR needs a TLDR
It seems like you’re good enough at math, try your hand at statistics and see if your dad can help you out. You can pivot to something like data science and might be able to get credits for the math you’ve already done.
Imo, soft skills matter more in this field. Leetcode only helps you to pass the interview. You don’t need to be a rockstar at programming.
With all due respect : fuck others opinions, respect your father, he loves you, but Bro BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, if you like what you are doing keep doing it
You need to find a polite way to let your dad know that you want to stay the course. Once you complete your course of studies if you crash and burn you can always go to health sciences. Anything worth it is going to be challenging.
Sometimes you need to face a crucible in your life as a tipping point for better things and to really forge you.
You need to believe in yourself my internet friend because we do.
IQ doesn’t mean anything.
If your parents are cutting their financial support for CS then you don’t have much of a choice. Health sciences are also STEM, the S stands for Science.
You can believe in yourself regardless of what field you end up in, which is also not determined by what degree you get, if any.
You don’t have to “be someone” to make a comfortable living in this field. But you do have to enjoy it if you want to do it professionally.
It’s fine to be a nobody. I’m a nobody. I mean, I have a house all to myself in a major metropolitan area in the United States, but I’m still nobody. And that’s fine. I don’t have to be the very best, like no one ever was. I don’t need to be a household name. And if I’m honest, the less others think of me, the better.
And mind, my grades were much worse than yours are. Trying to study and learn while having such bad anxiety that leaving my room most days was a significant effort is not something I recommend.