#BathroomEtiquette #WorkplaceIssues #RespectAtWork
Feeling Humiliated and Disrespected
Imagine the scenario: you’re at work, minding your own business, when your manager calls you into his office with a serious expression on his face. He then proceeds to lecture you about spending too much time in the bathroom, timing your bathroom breaks, and even accusing you of inconveniencing your coworkers. How would you feel? Humiliated? Disrespected?
A Real-life Dilemma
Right after I got out of the bathroom today, he called me into his office and shut his door. He said that the amount of times I use the bathroom a day and the length is getting ridiculous. He claimed that I used the bathroom today for example 4 different times at 20 minutes plus each, which is untrue. Now I feel like he’s watching and timing every time I use the bathroom even though his accusations are inaccurate.
Understanding Your Needs
- First and foremost, it’s essential to understand your own body and the reasons behind your bathroom habits. For some individuals, frequent bathroom breaks and longer durations may be necessary due to medical conditions or simply personal preferences.
- Being open and transparent with your manager about your health issues can help establish a better understanding and ultimately lead to a more empathetic response.
Offering Solutions
He said it is disruptive because whenever I’m in the bathroom is when he’s looking for me or needs me for something. He also said, there is only one stall, and if others have to use the bathroom, they have to wait on me. This is ridiculous because there are other bathrooms across the way. I offered to start using the bathroom across the way to not inconvenience anyone else.
Communication is Key
When faced with a situation like this, it’s crucial to communicate openly with your manager. Explain your perspective, offer solutions, and be willing to compromise if necessary. Suggesting alternatives like using a different bathroom or setting up a way for your manager to contact you when needed can help alleviate the tension.
Empower Yourself
- Remember, you have the right to feel respected and valued in the workplace. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and assert your needs. If the situation escalates or if you continue to feel discriminated against, consider speaking to HR or seeking support from a trusted colleague.
- Ultimately, your well-being and dignity should always come first. Don’t let anyone make you feel small or insignificant based on something as personal as your bathroom habits.
Final Thoughts
I found this very embarrassing and degrading. Am I wrong for feeling this way? It made me want to quit on the spot and put him on blast in front of everyone, but of course, I calmed down and finished my work until the end of the day. What should I do in this situation?
Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and understanding, both in and out of the workplace. Don’t let anyone undermine your worth or make you feel unworthy. Stand up for yourself, seek support where needed, and prioritize your well-being above all else. You are worthy, valuable, and deserving of respect. Don’t forget that. đź’Şđźš˝
Document the meeting by sending an email recapping the conversation from your perspective. Ask what company policy says about your bathroom use and whether it’s appropriate for managers to ask about such personal topics. Ask for specific citations of the employee handbook or posted policies. Copy HR on the message and request any follow up conversations occur in the presence of HR or another 3rd party.
Next time you need to go just shit in his office. Admittedly this isn’t amazing advice but speaking as someone who had a colostomy bag and got pulled over stuff like this it infuriates me how people can make such degrading demands on people. I personally found that when people called me out for impropriety, the best response was to just expose them to the reality of watching me shit into a bag.
There’s nothing more degrading (that I’ve encountered) than someone else demanding you be embarrassed for the circumstances of your life.
Just tell him you have an open door policy.
Next time just shit your pants. Explain you didn’t have time to go to the bathroom, and then enjoy your afternoon off.
this happened to me when i was working in a grocery store. it wasn’t BMs but i was drinking a lot of water and i would use the bathroom for probably 3-5 minutes every hour. it got to the point where my boss accused me of hiding in the bathroom so i could use my phone (because i was the only teenager working there and “all teens are obsessed with their phones”). it eventually escalated to where i had to clock out and give my boss my phone every time i needed to use the bathroom. i felt so humiliated i just stopped drinking water
That is beyond inappropriate and crossing professional boundaries.
Ask him via email, since he says your bathroom usage is excessive, how long is the amount of time he finds acceptable? Is there a certain limit you need to stay under? Should you ask permission to go? Should you try to hold it in?
Be really specific with him. Maybe it will make him uncomfortable. At the very least you may have proof of OSHA violation in writing.
If you’re getting all of your work done then there’s absolutely no reason for him to be complaining. I could understand if you were in there so frequently and for so long that your quality of work was suffering, but if you’re completing all tasks as assigned then what the fuck is his problem?
Invite him next time and make him listen to you give a play by play of exactly what’s going on.
I had a boss like this. I have ibs since I had my gallbladder removed (one of those people who never really adjusted despite diet change). I also have endo/adeno which can make using the bathroom painful (for #1 and #2), which sometimes makes me stay in the bathroom longer. My boss would bring it up at every review and claim other people were complaining about it. I then asked her if I needed to bring in a doctors note she she’d stop harsssing me about a medical condition. “Oh, no of course you don’t have to.
I went and got a drs note and had hr put it in my file so she couldn’t use that as an excuse to give me poor review scores (I was literally one of the most productive people on my team.
Start looking for another job. My experience has told me if you are already on the potty time monitoring it’s getting close to the end. When you have secured new employment just tell him if you can’t deal with my shit I can’t deal with yours, later!
Just get FMLA paperwork. Problem solved.
I work with someone that abuses toilet time so I’m less sympathetic. They’re adamant that they don’t spend that long but I’ve timed it and it can hit 30 minutes. When they started they said they used to sit in the toilet at their old job because they didn’t like it then it started happening here, so it’s not hard to figure out that they’re bludging.
We also had a guy with IBS who spent a bit of time on the loo, which is understandable.
I think it’s an entirely appropriate conversation to have with an employee if you think it’s laziness over actual bowel movements.
Just call him while you’re in there and ask for tips on how to go faster
I was in the bathroom until the lights went off today. I said wow, I guess it’s been a minute huh?
Just take a shit on his desk
Go to his office with a bucket and TP. His office is now your bathroom so he can always get a hold of you when you’re poopin
So potentially 15min you say 4 times a day. Thats an hour. Give me one company that is OK with an employee not working a full hour a day.
Tell him if he wasnt such a pain in the ass maybe you could shit more comfortably.
I guess I’m the only one who actually thinks 10-15 minutes is a crazy long time and would provide a doctors note if this was an every day thing
See a doctor and get an excuse.
Why do these people insist on treating adults like they are still in Elementary school about using the bathroom?  It’s power-trippy and I wouldn’t have dignified that conversation. People who monitor your restroom habits are creeps. There is nothing that urgent short of incoming artillery or insurgents charging the wire that can’t wait for someone to take a shit.Â
Did you tell him you were taking a dump and the next time you’ll snap a pic of it for evidence? Just curious.
Time to take even longer in the bathroom then. Sounds like you have a case of… IBS or the shits or something.
“And? You cannot regulate when or if I can use the bathroom. I do my job and I don’t miss deadlines, the time I spend in the bathroom is irrelevant and i find your obsession with monitoring my bathroom activities disturbing; However if you feel it’s necessary I’ll get a dr note just for you”
Then do it.