AITA for calling out my fiancee’s behavior at work? 🤔
Hey there, so here’s the scoop. I run operations at my mom’s indoor trampoline park, and my fiancee helps out by handling scheduling and addressing employee concerns. Recently, I had 3 of my best employees quit because they felt disrespected by my fiancee. 😞 They even went as far as calling her a "bitch". Not a good situation, right?
The Dilemma
Now, as much as I love my fiancee, I had to have a tough conversation with her. I pointed out the complaints and told her that her behavior towards the employees was bad for business. However, she brushed it off and claimed she was just being a good boss. 🙄
Taking Action
After some back and forth, I mentioned that employees had called her a bitch, and she got upset and left. Now, I’m questioning if I was in the wrong for bringing it up. 🤷♂️
What to Do?
So, here’s where I need your help. Was I wrong in addressing the issue with my fiancee, or was I justified in trying to improve the work environment for everyone involved? Should I approach this differently next time?
Actionable Advice:
- Communicate Clearly: Make sure your concerns are communicated effectively without being accusatory.
- Seek a Compromise: Find a middle ground where both parties feel respected and heard.
- Consider Professional Help: If the situation escalates, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from HR or a business consultant.
Remember, maintaining a positive work environment is crucial for the success of any business. Let’s work together to find a solution that benefits everyone involved! 💪🏼
info: does your fiance actually even work there? Like, is she being paid to come in and do these things?
When people call a female boss a “bitch,” I’m always a little dubious that it might be misogyny, but it doesn’t sound as though it is *because she’s completely wrong about what a manager is supposed to do*. A manager is supposed to hold on to good employees, and the way to do that is to make them feel respected. She is a bad boss. You should recommend that she read askamanager. And fire her. NTA
NTA. If my gf would treat people, especially, our employees in such way I would seriously re-evaluate my relationship as this is quite telling about what kind of individual she is.
Nta you have multiple employees quit and you have personally witnessed her being rude to customers.
She is NOT a good boss.
NTA
Fiance is a **terrible** boss and if you don’t correct this behavior she will seriously damage your business. Teenagers talk to each other. It’s not going to take long for everyone to knows what kind of a boss your business will expect them to work for
NTA. She shouldn’t manage any employees with her attitude. Being rude is not effective. How would she know if they are doing something correct or not?
NTA. It may have been more appropriate for the on-site supervisor to have this conversation with her, but it sounds like you were generally in the right. Employees shouldn’t feel disrespected and arguing with customers is objectively bad business.
NTA because she *is* a bad manager and a bad person.
>I am starting to think she may be right
Oh come on. Of course she’s not right. She’s dreadful. How much more evidence do you need, for goodness sakes?
Fire her and dump her.
NTA and are you sure about this marriage? How a person treats those in hospitality and retail positions says a lot about the kind of person they are. What do you think her attitude about employees and customers says about her? She’s powertripping and it’ll carry over to your marriage.
NTA Exactly how many management degrees does your fiance have? Clearly she does NOT have management skills, and she is doing real harm to the business. Employee retention is important. It’s likely those employees didn’t leave because of just one smallish incident – so it happened enough times that they finally had enough. Your fiance’s ‘help’ is not only losing you employees, but damaging your business’s reputation. You will lose customers and repeat customers with every bad experience and every bad review. For all the reports you DO see/hear of, there are probably many more that don’t bother to complain – they just don’t come back. Time to cut your losses and let the fiance go.
Classic. Someone can blatantly be a bitch for their whole life, make it their entire personality, but one person decides to point it out one time and THEY’RE suddenly the bitch.
If she doesn’t want to be called a bitch she should stop being a bitch. Not your problem that she decides to shoot the messenger and try to pass the buck instead of doing the tiniest bit of introspection
Well you can stand by your fiancé at work and then lose the business because all your employees will be quitting. NTA.
If you want to know who a person really is, don’t go by how they treat the people they consider their equals, go by how they treat the people they consider their inferiors.
Your fiancée is abusive, judgmental and inflexible, and if you think that’s not going to affect your marriage, you’re living in a dreamland. NTA
NTA. She should not be working there if this is her opinion on what a “good boss” looks like.
NTA
Sounds like you need to get her out of the business. Good employees thrive under good managers and in return go above and beyond for customers. People quit bad managers, more often than they quit jobs.
NTA, though you will be if you keep giving her a supervisory role at your mom’s business. It sounds like your fiancée’s attitdude has created a lot of bad word of mouth for your mom’s business among employees and customers.
You can’t claim ignorance now- you know she is a poor manager.
Does she have prior experience or training? Or did she assume this role because of your relationship? Some people have innate traits that make them good managers but for most it’s a learned skill. If you really want her to be there long term then find her another role until she can get some training. Even scheduling is problematic as a bad scheduler can make employees quit. If training doesn’t help, then she needs to be doing something where she doesn’t interact with unhappy customers or supervise employees.
I think the glib reaction that good employees are replaceable tells you that she has the wrong attitude and that she’s missing the point.
NTA. Let’s put it this way, what would you think if another employee, not your fiance, had the same reaction that she had to this conversation? Would you still be sitting here and thinking that maybe you were indeed a bit rude to her, or would you be thinking that her response was very disrespectful?
If you want to go ahead with your plans to marry her that’s on you, but I think at very least you should sit down with her and explain that you two can’t keep working together, because you can’t have this kind or personal conflict every time there’s a business problem between you two
NTA. A manager running off good employees can kill a small business.
>She mentioned how those employees were just replaceable
Oh, she’s one *those* kinds of bosses. Yeah, remove her from a management position ASAP. She has no idea how to actually manage staff.
NTA But OP, I think you need to be realistic about whether your fiance should hold a management position at this business.
Maybe she’s awesome and amazing at scheduling and maybe even at addressing employee concerns- though given your comments I have to wonder. But not everyone is meant to be a manager.
Maybe it would help if she spends a few weeks doing the daily job of your regular employees. But maybe the answer is just she gets demoted to handling scheduling and other back office issues, and you look for someone else who can eventually be promoted to lead.
But losing 3 employees because of your fiancee should be a sign there is a problem and her response that employees are replaceable is a concern. She isn’t coming at managing from the position of a businessperson (firing, hiring and training comes at a cost), it sounds like she’s coming at it from the position of someone who enjoys the power she has.
And that’s an issue. (I’d also suggest whatever decision you make that you check in with your other employees regularly. That they know that she doesn’t have hiring and firing say. You don’t want to lose good employees- or money- because no one will tell you or your money problems your fiancee or any other family member are causing.)
Your fiancee actually said they are replaceable and forcing control on people, saying she is being a good boss then angry when they dont ‘obey’ her demands also she insulted you when you explained to her what she was doing is wrong. I got some news for you…..she is clearly not a business type person! Cut her out of that position before you start losing everyone you have left because its only a matter of time before customers start insulting YOU for having her around. NTA
Info: Did ya’ll ever put her through management training before giving her a management position? It sounds like she got all her training from tv, good managers develop relationships with their employees. It’s not something you can just do by showing up.
Y’know what would look even worse for business? Marrying a woman like her.
NTA
NTA.
> She mentioned how those employees were just replaceable
Only the very worst kind of bosses have this attitude. High staff turnover is expensive for a business and reputationally damaging. This is a business, at the end of the day, and she is an employee, even if she is in management. Would you accept this behaviour if she wasn’t your fiance? Also, just red flags regarding the kind of person she is. I have been in management for years, I have never been rude to my staff, and it’s been easy not to be. A good manager will correct staff behaviour without being rude or talking down to them.
Ditch the girlfriend. She’s a child that is playing a manager. She thinks she knows how to lead but she’s acting like a manager of a retail store. Hint, most are garbage. I’d fire her. People don’t quit jobs, they quit toxic environment. Your girlfriend is one insult away from getting yall sued.
Nooooo! Good teens are hard to find. They have so many options. A trampoline park is hard: adults and kids, safety, customer service. Does your fiance have and retail or customer service experience? Is she taking the “I am the owner and you will obey me attitude with the teens? Teens will walk. I think you know exactly what the issue is. I bet a lot of couples don’t know how their spouse is in the workplace.
NTA
“She mentioned how these employees are replaceable”
So you get to be rude to people because you think they’re replaceable? Your fiance is not a good person.