#NeedAdvice: AITA for grooming my wife’s dog as a joke?
So, here’s the deal – my wife and I recently got a new dog after our beloved pups passed away. This new furry friend is small, cute, and low maintenance…but she has this weird fur situation going on around her neck.
I made a joke about trimming it to make her look more normal, and my wife wasn’t exactly thrilled. But when the dog rolled in manure and needed a bath, I couldn’t resist playing a little grooming prank.
Long story short, I styled the fur back, took a picture, and sent it to my wife, claiming I made an improvement. Turns out, she wasn’t amused when she discovered the truth.
Now, my wife is upset, and I’m starting to wonder if I crossed a line. Was it all in good fun, or did I take it too far? Do you think I’m the jerk in this situation? Let me know your thoughts and help me settle this debate! 🐶🛁 #GroomingGoneWrong #MarriedLifeIssues #PetPranks #DogGroomingHumor
INFO
So what’s the joke?
YTA for you attitude around the dog’s appearance and your treatment of your wife.
YTA- A prank is only funny when both people have a good time.
YTA
Tricking your wife into thinking you did something that she specifically told you not to do and passing it off as a “joke” is a shitty thing to do. You’re not funny for stressing your wife out.
INFO: You said this happened yesterday. How long was your wife upset? What has she done since she got home and saw the dog that showed anger?
Leaning YTA. But only slightly.
Your wife doesn’t share your sense of humor. she likes the dogs’ weird neck and rebuffed your suggestions of cutting the hair off; you should have known her reaction to the photo would be an angry one.
That said, it was a harmless joke and she should have let it go after telling you she didn’t find your joke funny. *That is, unless you have established a pattern of upsetting her for laughs.*
If that’s so, maybe take a moment to consider why upsetting your wife is a game you play. It sucks to be on the other side of that. keep fucking around and one day her patience for it will end. Grow up
YTA but less than I expected because you didn’t actually cut the dog’s fur.
I also would not find it funny. Pretending to do something your partner has told you she doesn’t want, intentionally upsetting her, isn’t really funny. There’s no punchline, there’s nothing clever, it’s causing a negative emotional reaction on purpose and then going “just kidding!” Like, what’s the funny part? That she’s upset? That you pretended to be disrespectful but were slightly less so? Why’s it amusing to you to cause your partner discomfort, even temporarily?
My dad used to do that kind of shit to me “as a joke” constantly and it drove me fucking crazy. There are a lot of more serious reasons we have a strained and distant relationship now, but that kind of thing really established that he didn’t value me or my feelings over his own cheap laughs.
YTA
it would be funny if you hadn’t threatened several times to do it, and she hadn’t specifically told you not to do it.
you showed your wife you don’t respect her wishes and what’s important to her, and she has every right to be very angry.
This is why I don’t get along with people who think pranks are the highest forms of comedy. It’s like you never left the seventh grade. YTA.
NAH. Some people think these things are funny, but your wife doesn’t, so it’s not a good joke. Good jokes are enjoyed by more people than just the joker. Find things for you both to laugh about TOGETHER.
YTA-
It’s pretty idiotic to get someone upset, and then tell them that the joke was a joke , much later.
Because as they are heading home they are getting angrier and angrier as they are having a conversation in their head on how angry they are, and becoming exponentially more and more upset.
And no, they don’t get less upset when they do eventually find out it was a ‘joke’. They probably get more upset, because now they’re upset plus they’ve been made a fool of.
INFO: She made threats back to you via text? Why didn’t you simply reply “no, I didn’t actually cut the fur?”
YTA don’t mess with peoples pets, even in a joking manner. She obviously went through a full range of emotions losing her other dogs and to open her heart to accept loving and caring for another animal is huge. You have to let her love this dog they way she wants to. Crazy neck hair and all.
YTA
YTA
YTA. Just leave it alone. She’s told you to leave it alone just do it. It wasn’t a joke, if it was what is the punchline? What exactly was your wife supposed to find funny about you pretending to do something she’s repeatedly told you to not do?
Wife: don’t do that.
You: ok. I’ll PRETEND to do that.
Wife: $*#!%#
You: Shocked Pikachu!
Yes. YTA. Thank goodness you didn’t actually do it but that’s small blessings.
NAH, but maybe don’t make jokes about cutting the hair from now on.
YTA. I’d be just as upset that you exposed the dog to potentially toxic hair gel
Soft YTA, your wife asked you not to fuck with the dog, you pretended to fuck with the dog – you knew this would piss your wife off.
I think “jokes” like this are pointless. What did it achieve other than upsetting your wife? It’s also not a joke if you’re the only one laughing.
YTA.
Honestly I thought it was funny.
That’s the thing, though– I will do the stupid joke that my wife doesn’t get and if she genuinely did not like it, I try my best to respect that it hurt her, then apologize.
Your jokes will not always go over well with others, and you should absolutely keep your humor instead of turn defensive when that happens.
Forget about the details (you didn’t actually cut the dog’s hair, she likes the weird scruffy neck thing, etc) and focus on the behavior:
You did a thing.
It hurt her feelings.
She reacted to that.
You dismissed her feelings.
Not cool!
NAH harmless joke
Lol yeah of course YTA. Your post is essentially this:
“I did something to intentionally piss off my wife. Now she’s pissed off. Now i have to deal with an angry wife, who I pissed off on purpose, because I thought it was funny at the time. But now that she’s pissed off, I don’t think it’s so funny.”
Yeah. Congrats OP, you’re not very smart, and you earned your surprised Pikachu face.
Pranks are for children. YTA
OP- I am reading some of your comments and I believe you truly do not understand why what you did makes YTA.
You are basing your expectation of your wife’s reaction to the prank based on your observations of your parents’ shared humor.
You have trouble understanding that you and your wife are different people than your father and your mother.
You seem to expect that your wife will have a similar sense of humor as your mom.
You also don’t seem to understand the difference between the jokes/pranks that were between your parents (your mom pretending to be electrocuted, then quickly resolving the fear in your dad by immediately showing that she is ok) versus your prank (making your wife think that you purposefully violated her boundaries regarding the care of her dog, and allowing her to think that for a while, stewing in anger at the violation and betrayal of trust, until she came home).
These pranks are different in nature, and have different effects on the other person.
The prank you did was stressful to your wife, and as well, it triggered feelings of betrayal/boundary violation in her that cannot easily be “shaken off” when she is told it is a prank.
A joke doesn’t cause extreme stress, over a period of time, in one of the people.
If you truly wanted to do that joke, you would have immediately written back “just kidding! I slicked the fur down, she is fine” literally 10 seconds after sending the first picture. THAT is somewhat of a joke, and MAYBE your wife would have thought that was funny (but likely not, as it could have felt like a reminder to her how you had threatened to actually do this in the past, and harmed her trust in your further).
May I posit that you don’t understand this, and even more, that you might be on the spectrum?
Lots of folks with high-functioning autism have trouble understanding neurotypical social subtleties, and often base their behaviors on observed behaviors between other folks. Such as you basing your sense of humor on what you perceived from your parents. It is “masking,” in a way.
I have an autistic friend who struggles with stuff like this often. He often thinks certain mean or juvenile things are funny jokes, because that was what was considered funny when he was a teenager, or he saw similar “humor l modeled to him by people who are jerks, and he doesn’t realize that what they are doing is not healthy nor kind.
Perhaps this is a part of it all?
INFO, I just want to see if I’ve got this straight. She already told you numerous times that she didn’t want you to do a certain thing? And then you, for whatever earthly reason, pretend to do that thing, and expect her to find it what? Funny? Cute? I have no clue why you thought this would do anything but cause problems. But hope the glee you got out of pissing your wife off was worth it, I guess.
YTA.
Newsflash, dingus: Jokes and pranks are only funny when EVERYBODY laughs and nobody is hurt physically or emotionally.
You intentionally did something to trick your wife into thinking you altered her dog’s appearance when she EXPRESSLY TOLD YOU NOT TO and then laughed/got annoyed when she rightfully got upset.
That makes you an asshole. Apologize.
YTA – you actively went out of your way to upset her and get a reaction…. And you got one, how are you not TA?
I really don’t understand people who get joy from making their partners angry/upset.
YTA. It’s not a joke if the other person isn’t laughing.
YTA. A joke is something everyone laughs at, a bully is someone who pulls jokes only they laugh at.
Passive aggressive asshole.
This is a pretty melodramatic comment section
Where’s the joke? You deliberately did something that she told you not to do multiple times and then thought it would be “funny” to prank her with the same thing she told you not to do. Of course she’s gonna be upset because of that! It’s not funny, maybe only to you. So YTA.
YTA, even though I like the joke. The execution was wrong.
To do it correctly, you take the picture with gel, then finish cleaning and drying the dog. Take another picture with the fur still visible.
Now you send the first picture. Wait a maximum of 5 minutes, then send the second with “just kidding. Look at our beautiful dog’s fur.”
ETA: after rereading, it sounds like your wife wouldn’t find this funny, so it was basically a dick move from the start. Know your audience and don’t stress your wife out for your own amusement.
YTA
Puppy fur is weird, and a lot of the time—when you cut it without knowing what you’re doing—you can ruin their fur for the rest of their lives.
Yta for intentionally making your wife upset. Where was the joke here? Nobodies laughing?
YTA
Do you not know what a joke is? You did this because you knew she would have a negative reaction to this.
What part about leading her to believe you did something you know she felt very strongly against was supposed to make her amused?
YTA
jokes are supposed to amuse both parties, not disturb someone and laugh at their expense
YTA but I mean that as more of a you were in the wrong, not necessarily an AH. She didn’t find the comments amusing when you were talking about cutting the fur – she made that clear – then you kept them going and made her believe you cut the dog’s fur then for some reason didn’t explain it was a joke when she got mad?
It’s annoying dude, she’s over the “joke.” Just stop it already.
YTA, but the reason why has nothing to do with whether you did or did not cut the dog’s hair.
You are the asshole because the punchline of your joke was that you *intentionally* hurt your wife. Even if she had not been upset, the fact is your idea of a funny joke is: “I’m going to pretend to do something that will make my wife angry and sad”. For *that*, yes, you’re a huge asshole.
YTA both for the prank and for needling her about her dog’s appearance.
Having read your replies to comments here, YTA. Why ask if you’re going to get pissy when people disagree with how you enjoy irritating your wife.
Yta for using a product not made for a dog on a dog..that can hurt them