๐ Why is my boyfriend avoiding sex with me despite wanting to? ๐ค
Possible Reasons for Lack of Intimacy
– Stress or anxiety impacting sexual desire
– Physical health issues preventing sexual activity
– Emotional disconnect affecting intimacy
– Prior traumatic experiences causing avoidance
Steps to Address the Situation
1. Open communication about feelings and concerns
2. Consultation with a therapist or healthcare professional
3. Creating a safe and comfortable environment for intimacy
4. Exploring new ways to connect emotionally and physically
#relationshipadvice #intimacyissues #communicationiskey #sexualhealth #understandingyourpartner
It sounds like heโs a little scared/intimidated. Itโs good you guys can talk about sex before being in the heat of the moment, I would say have a conversation out of the moment about this too. See where his headโs at.
My guess is he has some insecurity about sex that he hasnโt expressed (like itโll be his first time) or heโs wanting you to take the reins to go further or indicate at the time thatโs what you want.
Couple of options I guess:
1.) He’s gay
2.) He’s a virgin
3.) He’s into undressing and redressing
I would say he’s scared. Even with verbal reassurance and understanding, his “primitive brain” takes over. Anxiety can be crippling.
Also, do you kinda just kiss him back and are…. Passive?
You can try doing things with your hands.
Yeah, he sounds like a virgin.ย
He probably wants to carry on undressing you, but isn’t sure what he’s ‘meant’ to do, and he’s afraid of doing the wrong thing or being rejected.ย
I think you need to take the lead on this – you sound very passive here. Are you just standing there, waiting for him to do something? You can take *his* clothes off, or take your own clothes off, or even just tell him “you can keep undressing me if you want”.ย
iโd wager itโs one of a few things
1) could be a worry about penis size
2)potentially a virgin, ties into point one
3)performance anxiety, he may be undressing you and wanting to initiate but his manhood is stopping him
make him feel comfortable, and talk about if heโd prefer to initiate or vice versa. hope all goes well!
Have you seen his cock ? Maybe he is anxious about showing it. Whether for valid reason or not
Lacking experience or a very active member of the pornhub community
Could be that he’s nervous. Are you doing anything to kind of show that you’re interested in going further in that moment?
You could talk to him and ask why he’s stopping.
Literally ask him to fuck and see what happens
Say โIโm horny letโs have sexโ and if he makes an excuse ask him why you guys donโt have sex? Ask him say you want to and he already told you he wants to but whatโs stopping him?!
Itโs most likely nothing to do with you because he has expressed wanting to have sex with you, and even making out with you is indication of his attraction (youโd be surprised how many stories I hear of men not even making out with their partners due to lack of attraction) but yea communicate with him see whatโs up, donโt be attacky just sound more concerned and interested
Maybe you need to instigate the sexual stuff to get to sex
“Baby, i am ready. Lets do it now.”
You are clearly more experienced than him, why can’t you take the iniciative?
Idk did you talk to him about it
Or maybe he’s not there yet. Just because you’re ready doesn’t mean he’s ready.
Man, I’m so tired of the expectation that men should be in the mood and be ready whenever. Sometimes, I just don’t want to have sex.
“Why won’t :partner: do :thing:?”
Ask him???
Dude is gun shy. Either he has had something happen in his past that makes him wait for you to physically initiate it or he is extremely inexperienced. Either or you’re going to have to be the one to initiate intimacy.
So with that said reassure him that you want to while doing something like taking his shirt off then guiding him to removing yours. Honestly if he doesnt get this is ok then maybe you got a bigger problem.
And tbh its not likely you are the issue. Communication and gentle guiding should clear this up rather quickly
wouldnt say hes a virgin. i think hes having trouble getting it up. sounds like he tries to engage in hopes something will happen down there and then it doesnt so he stops
Learned passivity makes everything difficult. OP, you have a pretty clear green light, why aren’t you moving this forward yourself? Ingrained sexism makes victims of us all.
He’s got piles
Anxiety sucks and can pull a guy right out of the game. If/when this happens just use it as an opportunity to play around a little and get creative to get things moving. Please for the love of god donโt get offended if you ever want him to get back in the game. Itโs not you typically. Itโs his brain and body being a jerk.
Source: definitely never ever happens to meโฆโฆ..
Reading your comments, it sounds like you haven’t even “handled” him in any way. Lot’s of people are saying he’s just nervous, etc, etc. I’m going to throw another issue out there, that he has a micro penis (3.67 inches or smaller, I looked it up) and is deathly afraid of losing you once you find out. For your sake, I hope he’s just a nervous virgin.
I am not trying to be mean or attack you here, but FOR FUCKS SAKE SIT DOWN AND HAVE A TALK.
This post positively drips of that STUPID fucking idea that “a REAL lover would just know!”
NOPE. TALK. COMMUNICATE. If you aren’t ready to have a sit down serious conversation about how you want this to go and how he wants this to go, y’all shouldn’t be fucking fucking!
He might want to be tied to the bed and whipped, you might want to have your poofy skirts thrown over your head and ravished ever so elegantly~.
Who knows? sit down and talk it out. Open with a joke. “Thank you for coming to this orgasm donation society meeting, I’m glad you’ve COME here today!” Hurrrr.
FUCK.
Strip down and wait in bed for him. Or come out the room stark ass nude. I don’t know any guy/person who wouldn’t be down after that.
have you seen or felt his penis? He might have a micropenis and is afraid of your reaction.
There could be a bunch of reasons. Maybe he has an STI and is afraid to disclose, maybe heโs a virgin, maybe he just really wants to wait. But what you really need to do is TALK to him
I’m gonna go a different way. Maybe he’s just not into you. I mean no disrespect at all. But if you’re clear about wanting to, and initiating moments, and hs diverting you with games? It sounds like he likes you and your company but doesn’t want to have sex and maybe doesn’t want to be intimate at all. And be sure, it’s his problem or thing to figure out. You can help him along and communicate. But in the end we all deserve to be wanted the same way we want.
If he is a virgin I’d recommend asking if you can take the lead. I remember being nervous as heck my first time. We’d come close so many times, but eventually my girlfriend at the time kinda of got fed up, chucked a rubber on me and went to town.
Suggest this approach, but with open and honest communication. “babe, I love you, I’d like to do this with you. Do you mind if I take the lead? you can tell me to stop at any point your uncomfortable”. Show him how its done once and you’ll never have to show him again!
Well, there could be a few things. Obviously he might be a virgin or is very nervous. Maybe he is gay and in the closet, trying to be โnormalโ, and just canโt. The other option I see that hasnโt been brought up, he he been taken advantage of/abused as a child? If so there might be some serious trauma with him. Sounds like you need to have a real heart to heart talk with him.