#BoyfriendAccusingMeOfCheating #RelationshipTrustIssues #DealingWithJealousy #ProvingInnocence
Hey there, I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It can be incredibly tough to be accused of something you didn’t do, especially when it comes to infidelity. In this article, we’re going to explore how to deal with a situation where your boyfriend is accusing you of cheating and even going as far as accusing you of being in a porno. We’ll also touch on some advice based on ancient wisdom that can help provide some perspective on the situation.
Here’s how we’re going to break it down:
1. Understanding the Accusations
2. Providing Evidence and Maintaining Transparency
3. Seeking Support and Professional Help
4. Examining the Situation Through a Different Lens
## Understanding the Accusations
First and foremost, it’s crucial to understand where your boyfriend’s accusations are coming from. It’s clear from your post that he has trust issues and is prone to jealousy. This could stem from past experiences or personal insecurities. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy and try to understand the root of his suspicions.
While your boyfriend’s feelings are valid, it’s also necessary to maintain your own sense of self-respect and innocence. It’s not fair to be falsely accused of something as serious as cheating and being in a porno. Remember, trust is a two-way street and requires open communication and mutual understanding.
## Providing Evidence and Maintaining Transparency
In your case, you’ve mentioned that your boyfriend has alleged that a friend “lifted the filter” on the video and is convinced it’s you. This is a challenging situation, especially when you know with certainty that it isn’t you in the video. Here are a few steps you can take to provide evidence and maintain transparency in order to prove your innocence:
– Offer to undergo a lie detector test or polygraph examination
– Provide alibis or evidence of your whereabouts during the time of the alleged video
– Consider seeking professional help in analyzing the video for discrepancies
It’s important to be as open and transparent as possible with your partner, while also ensuring that your own boundaries and privacy are respected. Trust should be built on a foundation of honesty and transparency, and both parties need to work towards nurturing and maintaining that trust.
## Seeking Support and Professional Help
The situation you’re in can be incredibly taxing on your mental and emotional well-being. It’s essential to seek support from friends, family, or even professional counselors who can provide you with a safe space to discuss your feelings and concerns. Dealing with accusations of infidelity and being in a porno can take a toll on your mental health, and having a support system in place can make a world of difference.
In addition, consider seeking professional help with a couples therapist or relationship counselor. This can provide a neutral platform for both you and your boyfriend to express your thoughts and feelings, and can potentially lead to a resolution or understanding of the situation.
## Examining the Situation Through a Different Lens
In times of distress and uncertainty, it can be helpful to seek wisdom from ancient texts and philosophies. The Bhagavad Gita, for example, offers profound insight into the nature of human behavior and the complexities of relationships. One of the core teachings of the Bhagavad Gita is the concept of “Karma” and the idea of acting without attachment to the results.
This principle can be applied to your situation as well. While you may feel compelled to prove your innocence and clear your name, it’s important to remember that ultimately, you cannot control how your boyfriend perceives the situation. By acting with integrity and honesty, you are setting the groundwork for positive karma, regardless of the outcome.
In conclusion, navigating a situation where your boyfriend is accusing you of cheating and being in a porno can be incredibly challenging. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy, maintain transparency, seek support, and consider examining the situation through a different lens. Ultimately, staying true to yourself and acting with integrity will pave the way for a sense of peace and resolution, regardless of the external circumstances. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources and people available to support you through this difficult time.
Bruh “Trust issues can’t be fixed right away” ITS BEEN 6 YEARS. its over and its been over you’ve just been hugging the corpse of your failed relationship. Good luck. I wish you the best.
You don’t need to convince him, if it’s not you then it’s not you. And he’s crazy
I hope she is OK. That is so sad for her. Please someone make sure she is OK.
He is insane.
Run, you can’t fix voices in his head
Sounds like some sort of mental health episode. This isn’t normal and pretty concerning.
This isn’t normal.
Please leave this man now.
Kick him to the curb, and move on. His issues will never, NEVER, go away. You are 41, and have plenty of time to find someone right for you.
Why are you trying to prove him when he clearly believes it. Imo he might be projecting. Or someone is telling him this. Or looking for a way out. Maybe talk to about going to therapy.
I feel like this is abusive.
Why are you trying to convince him? Your boyfriend has never trusted you. For no reason.
Tell him it isn’t you and if he doesn’t believe you, he should do one.
When is enough going to be enough?
This is headed towards abuse in my opinion. The jealousy is slowly but surely amping up. I would break up with him.
> I am somewhat heavily tattooed and she didn’t have any visible tattoos. She’s masked and wearing a kind of hoodie. He was convinced that it was filters or even makeup.
> He said his friend “lifted the filter” on the video and is convinced it’s me.
Is that friend even real?
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/understanding-psychosis
I’m not a doctor, but maybe you should read this and check whether you also recognize some other symptoms. And then get him see an actual doctor about it because this seems to go way beyond “trust issues”.
You don’t prove anything. Wait it out or go. Tbh if after 6 years of fidelity he still spazzing you may consider speaking to him about counseling. I want to say leave but I wouldn’t leave my spouse off top for this. If im not cheating and I KNOW they aren’t
Before him. So, you didn’t cheat. And even if it was you, it was before him. Grow up little boy.
You don’t. You start planning your exit because this idiot probably has something on the side and is trying to get you to leave. And his lies are weak..
Usually when the partner accuses you of cheating, it points to them. Sorry this has happened to you.
You can’t, and you shouldn’t try. Time spent explaining yourself to someone determined to misunderstand you is time wasted. Insecurity and unfounded jealousy are symptoms of unchecked and untreated anxiety. You, the person not having those feelings, cannot cure them in the person feeling those things. No amount of time spent together, phone sharing, or reassuring will help, because those are *rational* solutions for an *irrational* problem. He has never trusted you and never will, unless and until he seeks and receives treatment for his disorder. There is literally nothing you can do but decline to be treated badly.
His paranoia, conspiracy theories, and trust issues are not something u can fix. These r major red flags. And his friend is in on it….
I would run if I were u.
He’s breaking up with you. He just wants you to do the breaking-up part.
There’s no “lifting the filter”; that’s not how film works. You could ask him to speak with his friend and ask for details about how the filter was lifted. You could even ask to view this proported video, (it won’t exist and his friend will likely claim that he couldn’t record it for some technobabble reason), but that might be seen as proof of you acknowledging that it could be you.
But at this point it makes no difference: if you tell him it’s not you, then he’ll assume you’re lying. If you tell him that it was you, he’ll be validated and you’ll actually be lying (and opening yourself to further accusations and abuse).
Easiest solution seems to be to kick it back to him. Tell him that it wasn’t you, but that if he doesn’t believe you, then he’s free to decide what to do about it. If you feel hurt by his persistant accusations, and you’re at a point where you don’t want to leave it open for long, then it might be worth explaining to him that you’ve said all you could, and that it’s no longer worth the emotional labour to try and maintain a relationship with someone who’s viewed so much porn that they’ve found a doppleganger and has convinced themselves of this crap.
You have nothing to admit because you’ve done nothing wrong.
Mental illness. Run
This feels like negging with a lot of extra steps. Does he just not want to date you? Does he want to break up so bad that he’s manufacturing scenarios? Does he want to somehow hold this over you if you do stay together?
This dude is insane. If he refuses to trust or believe you after 6 years, when will he trust you? How do you live with someone that doesn’t believe you after that long?
He sounds really mentally ill or desperate or stupid. None of those things are really winning traits. This situation sounds like a mess. All I’ll say is that there are plenty of other guys out there that won’t obsess over a porno like that and are more likely to trust you. Do his good qualities really outweigh being blamed for being in a porno and having him and his friends investigate whether someone is you? All while continuing to not believe you and blame blame blame?
Well, I’m not sure if you can fix it but the problem is you have an unstable boyfriend. He is so insecure that nothing you would do is going to be good enough. I would let him go and move on from it you didn’t cheat you know what you didn’t make a porno you know it, so let him go.
How do you defend yourself against a ghost? How do you build a defense against something that isn’t real?
You don’t.
And therein lies the problem with insecurity. Because he is constantly looking for “proof” you are cheating, he will always manipulate anything he can into “evidence”. I’ve seen it become borderline psychotic.
There is no set answer to this. Walk away or get ready for a rough ride.
Give him the options of accept it isn’t you and drop it, or move the f on. It’s his baggage and is toxic to keep making an issue for you about it.
Does your boyfriend do cocaine, by chance?
Is he going through a psychosis or something? Does he smoke?
You don’t have to convince him. You say, HEY LISTEN. That is not me. If you don’t believe me when i am telning the truth, that is your problem. I have nothing to hide so I’m not gonna bother with this anymore. I can’t prove it to you, or if you have any idea how I could prove it just tell me.
If he still don’t believe you then maybe he needs a psychiatrist
He seems guilty, prob for having a porn addiction and tired to project it onto you. Hes childish, and has issues mentally its not something you can fix.
This sounds legitimately like an ex I had.
That ex had schizophrenia that worsened severely over the course of a year. He eventually accused me of being a witch who ensnared his soul after we broke up… If that doesn’t tell you a lot about the seriousness of this fixation, I don’t know what would. (worse delusions had happened eventually, and I had to leave. I hope that does not happen to you.) It might not be on you to fix – and you certainly don’t have to put up with it if he’s unwilling to work on it.
I have trust issues. I go to therapy to work through my trust issues, not rely on my partner to constantly talk me off a ledge. Sure, sometimes they spill over onto him and I can sometimes become obsessed with the idea that he’s cheating on me, again I make an appointment with my therapist, put boundaries for MYSELF in the place to avoid going through his electronics, and find the trigger for my insecurity. It usually has something to do with my feelings of inadequacy when there is a massive change about to occur in our relationship.
What your boyfriend is doing is taking a compulsory behavior and running rampant with it. There’s no improving on it, he has full access to your phone and yes, while you aren’t hiding anything and probably don’t care he goes through your phone, you need to still put the boundary down. That is like giving a bottle to an alcoholic and expecting them to be able to get better still.
Cheating accusations and invading your partners privacy is an addictive behavior. It’s a way for us to hurt ourselves literally with our own imagination and it usually stems from low self esteem and self punishment. He needs therapy. Proper support would to be shutting down the behaviors and focusing on why the behaviors are coming up instead of defending yourself from an imaginary action you didn’t do. You’re going to end up driving yourself mad and give yourself self esteem issues along with him. I also was on the other side of this where I was accused of the most outrageous things including “blacking out and having sex with strangers”. This is not a healthy relationship and you may need to take time apart for him to control his obsessive behaviors.
He sounds paranoid. Tell him you are concerned that he isn’t totally with reality and he needs to see a therapist.
If he won’t see a therapist and is making this *your* problem to fix… idk what to tell ya.
>What do I do?
Leave, your boyfriend is unhinged and you can’t reason with unhinged people.
Is he bipolar by any chance? I ask because I’m bipolar and this kind of feels like a manic episode. I know I become super anxious and paranoid when I’m in that state.
This is a mental health condition, please take him to a doctor
You can’t fix crazy hon. It also isn’t your responsibility or job. He needs professional help, and you ain’t it. Tell him the discussion is over and show him the door. He can come back when he’s medicated or counseled or both.
He has jealousy issues but it’s fine for him to accommodate his perversion by watching weird porn? Why the hell would someone with jealousy issues be attuned to watching cheating porn?
You are not a child and neither is he. You are also not his therapist. He needs professional therapy. You should also stop living in eachothers pockets lest your relationship becomes some kind of weird codependency (if it isn’t already)
“You can’t reason people out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into.”
I’m going to be frank with you because things like that happened to me too, I acted like it wasn’t a big deal and my life became horrible. This will never end, NEVER if you get over it this time, believe me, there will be another time in which your boyfriend will invent something else about you and so on until he starts “preventing” you from doing things so that he can “believe you”until you no longer have anything. He is straight gaslighting you and blaming you for something you obviously didn’t do, he will never believe in you. For me this is not someone who has “trust issues” but more it seems like a case of cellopathy… You should run from that relationship and maybe be with someone who is closer to your age and more mature.
Do you really want to be with someone this stupid?
get a new boyfriend that trusts you. I can’t imagine putting up with accusations like this!! he is craycray yo!!
Okay wait. But is this guy crazy possessive of you.
…
While also watching porn?
Pick a lane, buddy.
100% beyond “trust issues”. He is CONVINCED of the impossible. You know for certain it is not possible, and he has evidence that says it isn’t you (lack of tattoos on the porn lady) and yet he is still finding a way to believe it’s you.
There are 2 main psychological reasons that someone will believe something that is not true even if it is blatantly false; they want it to be true so badly they fall victim to loss of site of reality, OR they are so AFRAID of it being true that they throw logic and facts aside, and convince themselves it is true and emotionally torture themselves.
So either he secretly wants you to be the porn lady, or he is too terrified to see its impossible.
Either way, he needs professional help, and probably some medication.
your boyfriend might be r*tarded