#MoneyMatters #RelationshipDrama
Alright, folks, storytime: So, my girlfriend was apparently keeping a secret stash of cash while letting me foot the bill for everything. Sneaky, right? She claimed to be struggling financially after losing her high-paying job and starting a photography gig. But, surprise surprise, turns out she’s been sitting on a hefty 68k in the bank, thanks to some shady international trading deal with her dad.
I stumbled upon this juicy info accidentally, and now I’m stuck wondering what to do next. Do I confront her? Do I let it slide? Do I run for the hills? Help a clueless soul out here!
So, what would you do in my shoes? Cast your vote, share some advice, spill the tea. Let’s figure this out together! 💸🕵️♂️🔍
look brother guys need to learn girls dont share and whats theirs is theirs and whats yours is hers
If this is going to be long term then maybe a conversation should be had. Finances are deal breakers for people, and you need to see where you guys stand when it comes to money if it gets serious. You don’t mention living situation or how long together. <conversation depends on this>
If this bothers you; you are free to stop paying for her at all and keep it 50/50.
I can understand the slap when you realize that she had way more money but doesn’t offer to pay for everything like you do so often. 50/50 is usually where people go unless the split is literally breaking someone’s bank.
Go 50/50 all the time.
Stop paying for her stuff?
This is just weird.
First of all what bills: if you live together & you’re sometimes fully paying the bills rent etc. I hear you, your thoughts are valid unless you agreed to just pay them all.
However if we’re talking about date / general going out. Dude cmon you’re the man, it’s our duty to take care of that. You don’t really have a claim to her financials unless you’re married / living together type thing.
So wait.. you were okay splitting the bill 50/50 when you thought that you earned more than she did, but now somehow it’s an issue because she had money in savings and has more than you?
That’s quite the double standard, no?
It sounds like you’re upset that she’s not paying for things for you or buying you things you’re splitting the bills 50/50 that’s how it should be
I’m confused she either paid 50/50 and you paid some months then she did so what you wanted her to spend more
What should you do? Quit whining and get over it. Splitting bills is not taking advantage. Be a man.
Everyone always says bills should be split by % of income. She’s fleecing you.
You SHOULD be paying half.
You mean she should pay 100% for you both now because she has more money? No, you’re lucky to get 50/50 a lot men get nothing!
Splitting expenses is not taking advantage of you. You sound like you’re mad you weren’t able to golddig on her…
I don’t even know if she can use the full balance. Some of that might be her father’s.
She’s not your wife. You’re not really someone who needs to know any of her financial situation. You’re a boyfriend. That’s probably going to piss off a lot of young people on this sub, but who cares?
You chose to pay for things. That was your call. She chose to accept that. That was her call. But as long as you’re not married, why in the world would she need to divulge to you the full extent of her financial situation?
Bro you’re not married. 50/50 split is fine
What is your complaint exactly? She’s paying for her half of the bills and she does not have the high earning job anymore- so she didn’t lie about that.
She doesn’t owe you anything so what is your problem exactly?
Nope. Time for you two to part ways.
What she is doing is 1. gaslighting you; and 2. tantamount to financial abuse.
If she can lie about how much money she has, making you buy everything (and not even going halfsies) then what else is she lying about? Can you trust her?
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to split 50/50 paying for things regardless of who makes more money. Or even sometimes one party paying all for something. Honestly it comes off like you’re insecure that she has more money than you.
No matter what she makes 50/50 is fair.
Karsh
Her income is none of your business until you’re considering marriage. While you are dating, she should not pay more just because she earns more.
She’s mugging you off fella.
Having that much in available cash and making you stump up for stuff while not contributing or only contributing when it suits her? Fuck that.
She’s clearly having her cake and eating it and making you pay for it.
I’m not even sure what your complaint is. It doesn’t sound like she lied to you. It sounds like you think you should get free shit because she has more cash. Which is exactly the kind of shit I hate in women.
First of all, stop gossiping at your medical care job or your income will be zero.
Do you live together? What bills are you referring to, dinners, movies, events? Or mortgage, electric, etc?
Splitting bill is not taking advantage of you
I would be on your side if you paid 100%. However, she went 50/50. Do you think she should have paid more? Nah. This happens all the time with big differences in income levels. Yes she mislead you. However would knowing the truth really have changed anything? You don’t say how long you have been dating. She very well may have been meaning to tell you after certain amount of time. If you have been together for a while. Maybe, see about getting in on the next deal her dad is doing. Otherwise I would not sweat it.
Common tactic with gaslighting is to bring up what you did wrong instead of discussing the real issue: what she hid from you.
I would not trust this person. Her father sounds shady as hell—one of the dads in my friend group was one of those international bullshit dealers – he was always importing Mercedes to Brazil or importing Greek olives and making a killing, but could never seem to help pay the check at a restaurant.
People like that are strange, unreliable, cheap, and I would not want to deal with that bullshit.
(But this my just be my baggage with the creepy guy I knew when I was little) I would tell her off for being an asshole with her money, then run the other way. She’ll buy a mansion in a few years, probably will get married to another well-off guy and have a child or two, and will never ever buy anyone else dinner. LOL
Your next move should be to talk to her and her dad and try and get them to include you in your their next deals.
Seriously. Even if you have to go into debt, taking a loan so you can invest.
Anything else will be worse for you. What do you think will happen if she starts contributing 70/30 to the bills. ? If she starts paying for dates and such ? Her behavior is a pretty good indicator, that she loves to feel like her man is taking care of her. If you start lacking, your relationship will crumble.
So, step up your game. Learn from her and her dad, do not try to beat them, join them. Show will and ambition.