Are you facing a potential job termination for oversharing personal details at work? #HRMeeting #JobConcerns
Have you ever been in a situation where sharing too much personal information at work has led to serious consequences? #WorkBehavior #Consequences
Are you feeling anxious about an upcoming meeting with HR and your manager over oversharing personal information at work? #Professionalism #JobSecurity
Is it possible to turn things around and save your job after sharing personal events on your work calendar with colleagues? #JobSurvivalTips #CareerAdvice
How can you best prepare for a meeting with HR and your manager to discuss your behavior in the workplace? #JobMeetingPrep #ProfessionalDevelopment
Maybe it’s about the job transfer? Is that still happening?
It does sound like a heavy handed approach, but privacy is an area where rules are changing quickly and companies are finding themselves exposed in ways they weren’t prepared for.
In the meeting, take a notepad and pen, if you’ve done something wrong, try to clarify precisely which rule/law/policy you’ve breached and how. Also ask what training is provided on privacy and information handling… because you know this is an area that’s changing all the time 😉 …
At the end of the meeting ask if there was ever any conclusion to the case of someone violating your privacy, be sure to write something down at this point just to confirm to them that there is an parent double-standard.
Try to separate motive and action (I know this is hard) usually, the process for getting rid of people is verbal warning, written warning, fired. If they’re going down this path then it’s important to take notes at the start. If not and this is a misunderstanding, then it will come out in the notes.
It may be beneficial for you to review the company handbook and any relevant policies on the subject of privacy before the meeting. Also look for any disclosures you may have signed during onboarding. It won’t change the conversation but it is helpful to know what you are up against.
Aside from your concern. I am very confused why these people aren’t marking personal things as private events. That way, even if the calendar is shared with some or all company, those events won’t show any details. If I have to take time off for a dr appt or something, I never put the details in my work calendar.
Reply All to the meeting invite (so HR gets it as well as the manager).
Hi <name>, I am not aware of any instance where I shared details of your personal events with other staff. I look forward to learning more during our meeting tomorrow, and ensuring we’re in alignment for the future.
IANHR
@OP – If this meeting is what you think it is, I encourage you to share the examples you gave in your original post while HR is in the room. You want to put the manager back on his heels early before HR decides to back him.
“I’ve noticed that after sharing with you I am pregnant, you’ve become exceptionally critical of me. For example, XYZ. I am concerned because I was never treated this way before disclosing that I am pregnant.”
So it sounds like you did do exactly what you’re being accused of doing – so you need to go in, listen, don’t get defensive, apologize, and state that it won’t happen again. You messed up and everything else is separate, trying to conflate them will only make it clear that you’re not willing to take responsibility.
On the coworker going through your desk you should email your manager and ask for confirmation that it was handled – you’re not entitled to know if another employee has been reprimanded or not so your manager has done nothing wrong by not telling you this.
If your manager is holding you accountable for actual mistakes which you admit they are no matter how small – there is nothing wrong with that. Saying an error is soul crushing is excessively dramatic but again there is also nothing wrong with that beyond being a bad manager – a complaint about how your manager’s communication style should go to their manager as that is not an HR issue.
If you truly believe you are being singled out because you’re pregnant and treated differently then file a complaint with HR – but be aware that you need clearly actionable examples or it won’t go anywhere because feelings are not enough and you haven’t listed anything that would rise to that. And yes you can absolutely be fired when pregnant so long as a supported clear reason exists that is not you being pregnant. That said I highly doubt this meeting is you being fired, it’s likely a write-up.
Any update?
1-It sounds like you did make the mistakes they’re meeting with you about. Is that accurate?
2-What is your role? The way this is written I’d presume your role is one in which you should NOT have knowledge of what reprimands other staff may have received……so is it just a guess on your part that you are being treated differently?
3-Unless your manager is prone to drama, saying your actions were “soul crushing” would indicate they’re pretty disappointed in the mistakes or they are worried they pose a risk of some sort to the co.
If I had to guess this is a PIP type meeting. If you have ANY lingering questions about what you’re doing wrong please be sure to ask them for clarification so you can resolve those issues and move forward.
Bracing for the downvote here (and read to the end, people!!) but telling anyone who does not “need to know” about a medical appointment is at best a bad idea. It doesn’t sound like they are gearing up to fire you at this moment (they would just schedule a generic meeting if that was the case) so I suggest letting them do most of the talking. There may be other instances you’ve forgotten about, or this may be a particularly sensitive issue for some reason you don’t know about.
That said, this is “your boss’s meeting” to address wheat she sees as a performance issue by you. It’s her “turf.” So my advice is let your boss/HR do all the talking. Apologize as appropriate and indicate you understand the issue and will do better in the future.
Then schedule a separate meeting with HR to discuss your concerns about being singled out and overly scrutinized. When you control the agenda and the discussion. That way your concerns are less likely to be perceived as a defensive mechanism to the “sharing personal info” issue and more likely to be accepted as a larger concern.
Good luck!!