#LostInLife #FindingMyPassion #LifeCrossroads
Hey there! Being 20 and feeling lost in life is totally normal, and you’re definitely not alone in this. 😔 It’s tough, but figuring things out and finding your true calling is a journey that many go through. So, take a deep breath and let’s explore some options to help you get back on track.
Understanding Your Lack of Motivation and Discipline
First things first, it’s important to understand why you’re feeling this way. Here are a few factors to consider:
1. Self-reflection: Take some time to really think about what’s causing your lack of motivation and self-discipline. Are there any external factors or internal struggles contributing to this? Understanding the root cause is crucial in finding a solution.
2. Seeking help: Consider talking to a professional or counselor who can help you navigate these feelings. Sometimes, having an outside perspective can provide valuable insights.
Exploring Your Passion for Entrepreneurship
It’s clear that your passion lies in entrepreneurship, and that’s a great starting point. Here’s how you can pursue this passion:
1. Entrepreneurship programs: Look for entrepreneurship programs or courses at your university. These can help you gain valuable skills and insights into the world of entrepreneurship.
2. Networking: Connect with other aspiring entrepreneurs and professionals in the field. You can join networking events, seminars, or even online communities to expand your knowledge and build connections.
Choosing the Right Path for You
It’s understandable that you’re feeling uncertain about your current field of study. Here’s how you can navigate this decision:
1. Research: Explore different career paths within civil engineering and see if there’s a specific area that interests you. Understanding the options available can help you make an informed decision.
2. Internships and job shadowing: Consider seeking internships or opportunities to shadow professionals in various fields within civil engineering. This hands-on experience can give you a better understanding of what each path entails.
Navigating Family Expectations
Dealing with family pressure can be tough, but it’s important to stay true to yourself. Here’s how you can approach this:
1. Communication: Have an open and honest conversation with your mom about your feelings and aspirations. Expressing your thoughts and emotions can help her understand where you’re coming from.
2. Setting boundaries: It’s okay to set boundaries with your family members when it comes to your personal choices and decisions. Let them know that you’re exploring your options and need their support.
Moving Forward with Confidence
At the end of the day, it’s essential to move forward with confidence and optimism. Here are some final tips to keep in mind:
1. Personal growth: Focus on self-improvement and personal growth, whether it’s through developing new skills, seeking mentors, or exploring new opportunities.
2. Patience and perseverance: Finding your passion and navigating life’s challenges takes time. Be patient with yourself and stay committed to the journey.
Remember, it’s okay to feel lost and unsure at 20. You have the power to carve out your own path and create a fulfilling future for yourself. Stay positive, keep exploring your passions, and never hesitate to seek help or guidance along the way. You’ve got this! 🌟
If you wish to find more resources and guidance on navigating this phase of life, feel free to visit our website for articles, tips, and support tailored to young adults facing similar challenges. You’re not alone, and we’re here to help you every step of the way. Good luck!
You won’t make any progress personally or financially working on doing stuff that makes you miserable. Your best shot at your best possible life lies in doing what you want to do and excelling at it. Even if you fail, it sounds like it would be no worse than the alternative.
Take a week or two to think about it before doing anything completely rash, but if you know that the only thing you can bring yourself to commit to is entrepreneurship, then plan around that. Probably you should try to find a way to get some practice first. Definitely read business books etc (ironically, this is studying lol). But I think that dedicating yourself to something is the source of most pride and happiness in life, so if you feel you can only dedicate yourself to entrepreneurship, go ahead.
Of course, don’t just dive headfirst into the ocean, make a good plan and get the information you need first. Maybe get a job to discover problems a business might solve, give yourself some personal stability (sounds like you might need it given the house situation), and give yourself time to think of the best approach.
Finally, even though I am recommending following your heart, in doing so try not to alienate your parents too much, them considering kicking you out of the house sounds rather harsh and I don’t know your situation, but they’re the only ones you’ve got. Explain things calmly, explain to them you’ll be miserable any other way, try to understand their point of view first (the old quote goes seek first to understand, then to be understood), speak calmly throughout to bring the overall intensity of the situation down, etc.
I’m not sure what type of engineering you do, but from a motivation point of view have you tried designing something you could make into a successful product? Or just to solve a problem?
There are lots of transferable skills from engineering into running a business.
My first thought reading this is that at 20 years old, you’ve got no business pondering over what your “true calling” is. That’s a bunch of nonsense.
Drop out of uni.
Get a job.
Leave home.
Undo the damage of uni and study what really works.
It is that simple.
Families do not understand and sometimes so demoralised by the system that they value a piece of paper and some numbers or letters more than their bloodlines well being.
Sure the first job will not be great. The first apartment may be cramped. But it will build you towards a better life.
Not one in a degree which you hate and which crushes your soul.
Even if you’re doing something you’re passionate about, it’s going to involve working on things which aren’t fun and require some will-power to get through. You might be passionate about entrepreneurship, but it isn’t all making deals and counting your money like you see on social media. It involves a lot of boring drudgery too.
I would stay in school, work on developing good work habits and get your degree. You’re going to have tedious, boring work no matter what you do. Now is the time to build the habits which will take you through life. Put the phone down and get to work. The more you work, the easier it will get. Will-power is like a muscle. You have to use it to make it stronger. When you do that a little bit each day, then you will develop a stronger work-ethic little by little each day. Good luck.
One day you will turn 30, and trust me it goes quick. You’ll still be young by then. It doesn’t seem that way when you’re 20, but trust me on that as well.
That day you will still have more than 35 years of working life ahead of you. How do you want to be positioned that day?
Take some honest assessment, for you now, today, and that you in the future. Make sure entrepreneurship isn’t just a cop out to avoid the boring/hard/difficult thing. Because especially there, those will come and there is no one to push you if you don’t do it yourself (like you admittedly did with uni)
But yeah, figure this guy in his 30s. What can you set up for him now?
Keep studying, network at uni, or work on your own engineering ideas, intern at a start up. Do anything- but do SOMETHING.
It’s crucial that you listen to this advice, there is nothing worse than losing all momentum. Especially cause you have time right now.
Do NOT take a shit job at Carrefour and hope that you’ll have a magical side project.
Here’s another thing : environment is *almost* everything. Surround yourself with people like you, or high achievers, or crazy people building a 66446th google rival that’ll never truly take off. All it takes is offering your help and bringing something to the table.
But you need to make connections. Not for later nepotism, but because luck tends to aggregate in certain spaces. Those spaces are filled with people who take ACTION.
I was once in the same exact situation…..and same country.
Graduate get a job for 2.2k a month with monthly meal allowances. Retire at 67.
It’s not the USA. Everyone is going to tell you that you can’t, and yes, even your mom. They played it safe. Keep that in mind, they’ll only agree once you succeed.
Our country needs entrepreneurs. We could do so much more, you got this bro!
It is quite normal to change your mind about your major and pivot to something else. This is not about being a failure. But if you’re not motivated to study engineering, then you probably aren’t passionate about it. I’ll suggest you do some self-introspection about your thoughts, feelings, and goals in life.
If you want to become an entrepreneur, then I suggest that you are motivated by the principles outlined by successful Entrepreneur, Naval Ravikanth. Naval has said to study microeconomics, game theory, psychology, persuasion, ethics, mathematics, and computers. He also said: Learn to sell. Learn to build. If you can do both, you will be unstoppable. There is so much wisdom in his principles. Read more in the Book: The Alamanack of Naval Ravikanth.
The bottom line is to do what gives you joy. You’ll find success by following your passions. The reason is if you do what seems like play to you, no one can compete with you. All the best!
No offense but you just sound lazy
My path.
at 24 ,i graduated Master Chemical Engineering in Belgium. i hated it. pretty hard but i aced all my exams, weeks of blocus, not because i was a genius.
guess what. i am now a restaurant owner, i dont even know how to cook, with multiple stores and have multiple kots that i rent out. i never touched a chemical book again.
so yeah , as they say , life is long and full of opportunities.
a degree doesn’t mean shit nowadays.
Find people
I know it’s a little vague and harder then it seems but try to surround yourself around people who don’t care about the traditional path of life, people who truly have a passion for learning and trying new things. Having that support from people around you will change your life.
Currently 20 years old but I went to a similar situation when I was 18 too
Listen to the RealAF podcast and do 75 hard program. Get your inner b!tch voice under control because it’s holding you back
I hated university. I started a company and didn’t quit uni until I could survive without student loans etc. If you don’t have any other idea what to do, stick with it, or change quickly.
Be truthful to yourself is it engineering you don’t like or schooling general.
With non disrespect. Must people don’t value what they have till its late.
Not to fail yourself, your mother should be a Motivating factor. See it as a road to entrepreneurship. It will give you a solid background to stand. It’s just few years don’t spoil your relationship with her.make it a challenge to make her happy.
You can do the two if you will just try. How do you think Indians do well? Many the path is choosen by their family, but for love and respect they put their all.
In Africa we want the education but very hard to afford but we still push. Many times working and schooling at the same time. 60 percent of student don’t get courses of their choice the university or college just assign to you. But we still put our best. You can be a engineer and a great entrepreneur.
Learn to work with reason not feelings.
You’re 20, you’re supposed to be lost in life
You sound depressed, find a professional to talk to.
You can rid yourself of 99% of that existential dread by traveling first.
It also helps you figure out what you might actually want to do. And it really helps you figure out what you don’t want to do.
Unorthodox, but i did it after a year of college and feeling the exact way you are, and it really helped me sort my path out. You’re young. Don’t worry too much!
life is short, you owe it to yourself to give it a try. live authentically
You’ve got such a long way to go. Take a break, regroup and refocus. You got this 🙏💪🏽
>My ongoing struggle is largely due to a lack of motivation and effort, which makes me think there might be a deeper reason – perhaps this field isn’t my true calling.
Honestly, I think this is a universal feeling about work; lack of motivation due to working for someone else’s business. When you don’t have ownership, it’s difficult to feel any real concern for your employer.
If you’re in the wrong course, why not change to a more suitable one. There’s no need to give up entirely. How far into university are you? If near the end, just suck it up and put the work in. Having a degree could open up some opportunities. Don’t just dismiss it out of hand. We all have to do things we don’t like at certain times in life. If you think university is tough, how will you survive as an entrepreneur.
Apart from the above, getting a degree and a job/career gives you a good financial foundation. With money coming in for rent, food, etc, entrepreneurship will be easier.
You have an opportunity that most people in the world never have and you just want to throw it away. I suggest practicing gratitude for what you have.
You might not like my comment. But I’m gonna be honest with you.
You are 20. You don’t know anything. Barely even what your true calling is.
You’re going to change your mindset and you’re going to finish what you’ve started. This what you owe to yourself and your mother. Build discipline. Turn this around.
Fast forward, 4 years later, you might come to the conclusion you go another path. So be it. You will be proud for sticking through your emotions.
Don’t become the guy that will say: what if?
Make yourself proud that even in tough times, you managed to become a man.
Man that’s tough but you are really young. I depends on how far through you are. You can still be an entrepreneur but if you are way through your degree or can change to a parallel degree program that is more interesting to you I’d finish that up. Sometimes in business you don’t know what you don’t know, having a degree can provide you with knowledge base that could be helpful for being an entrepreneur someday soon. Best of luck. And forget what your mom thinks, every parent just wants to make sure their kid is doing okay.
What do you like to study or learn?
I’ve been there. You have to learn to do things that are annoying and do them with excellence. My advice based on the information you provided is to apply yourself 100% to your schooling and absolutely crush it. Get good at solving problems and navigating the system. These skills will be vital when you own your own business. Building rare and valuable skills is what will help you thrive as an entrepreneur with the right mindset. I say this because you don’t have a specific idea in mind, sitting around thinking about it isn’t going to make you a better entrepreneur. While you’re absolutely crushing it in school, look for problems to solve and make a daily habit of coming up with 5-10 ideas per day. Study great entrepreneurs, but spend time everyday building skills that will help you solve worth while problems or you’ll be 50 and having the same crisis.
Healthy parents want their child to achieve independence, which is, at the most basic: how will you put a roof over your head and food on the table? That involves money. So how are you going to get money?
That’s worth finding out. Being an entrepreneur is just one way.
But I also suggest this: what work or industry can the current degree allow you to do? Are you interested in it? Does it align with your ability? Is it a growing industry? Many people have worked hard to get degrees that ultimately led nowhere, this is the biggest trap to avoid.
You could also switch your major instead of dropping out.
Uni is filled with opportunities that are harder to get outside. You get to know people, professors, how research and academia work. You can try things beyond your major. Take other classes, join interest groups. Go to parties and work on your people skills and charm. Go on an exchange program to discover the wider world. TA a class. Join a research project. Join a uni startup. Intern at startups, or major companies. Use student discounts to attend conferences, or to try software. Most unis offer programs to help you advance in whatever interest (career, hobby) you may have, you just need to look out for it. It’s also a place where you can start building a portfolio in that field.
Exploring will help you carve out a career path for yourself, whether or not that involves running your own business eventually. You can also continue trying to startup while doing your degree.
There is also some value (not a lot, but not zero) to the seemingly useless piece of paper. Most people use it as a marker of competence. Even though it is not a great marker, at least the guy who did it could put in effort, knows something about the field, and apply some of what was learned. Some people in business won’t even give you a chance when they find out you don’t have a degree (Whether that is fair or not is irrelevant, it’s one less opportunity).
First bit of advice
You’re situation now is not your situation down the road.
5 years ago did you feel like this? Were your problems at 15 the same as they are at 20? Do you think you’ll have the same problems persist at 25? Likely not. Live everything 1 day at a time. If you give something your all and it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. If you’re doing something that you are not passionate about, it was not meant to be. You are young, your aspirations will change as well as what you are doing with your life.
Secondly, I know how you feel, through and through. I came from a family of teachers, I was told how great I would be as a teacher my whole life so naturally, I went to school to be a teacher. I had more fun in college than I’d like to admit, and I eventually became a teacher. Fast forward 3 years later, I quit. Why? Because I didn’t like teaching and I wanted to do something else. I am on track to make slightly less money than I would’ve as a teacher, but growth is a painstakingly slow process that often happens behind what we can see. Take necessary steps to learn. The BEST bit of advice I can give you is, if you don’t know what you are passionate about, you don’t know what to learn about, learn about YOURSELF. Read books on yourself and betterment of your life. I recommend Atomic Habits if you don’t know where to start. Reading books that focus on You do help you learn what is important.
Lastly, this is your life to live, not your parents. Always let them know they are loved if you have a good relationship with them, but do not live the life they envision for you. You live your life based on what you want. At 20, you don’t know what you want, and that’s fine. Success doesn’t happen overnight. My favorite quote is “the thief of joy is comparison”. Do not compare yourself to others. Someone who has success at 25 is doing well, if you’re not at the point of success you wish to be at 25, take small steps toward reaching goals. I am 25, I am happy but not content with my situation, I know I have a solid network of people behind me who will help me with ideas I have and that’s all I need right now. When the time comes to make something happen, I know I will make it happen.
Just breathe, life is hard. Never chase the feeling of wanting life to not be hard, because than life wouldn’t be worth living.
It all boils down to discipline and dedication. Being uncomfortable until you’re comfortable. Setting aside your selfishness for a period of time to achieve goals as an entrepreneur. Remember if it was easy everyone would be doing it. You are spending money to go to school and you are failing. That’s the opposite of an entrepreneur. An entrepreneur digs in, workers harder than anyone they know to get to the top. Once at the top they only strive to beat themselves. Setting insane lofty goals and stopping at NOTHING to achieve them. You are young so here’s my last piece of advice. There are two types of people in this world. Doers and talkers! Most people talk and they think they are doers. You have to truly figure out which one you are. At the moment you appear to be a talker. Additionally, this is a pep chat not meant to be disparaging but open your eyes and be real.
If you’re ultimately wanting to build wealth (which anyone can do at virtually any age but the earlier you start the better positioned you’ll be to be successful) than I would suggest learning how to save money by living below your means then learning how to invest wisely (stay away from people telling you to invest in something that will make you rich overnight), understanding the principle of compounding interest and go from there. If you learn these lessons now at age 20 and commit yourself to moderation, you will likely be wealthy by age 40 and possibly sooner depending on how your return on your investments do. Understand how credit and leverage works and you’ll be off to the races. One other piece of advice, you say you want to be an entrepreneur and that’s great but do you know that some of the most successful entrepreneur’s failed? There’s nothing wrong with failing as long as you learn and learn quickly from it. Failure is a great teacher but also one that often causes great pain; financially, emotionally, psychologically. Adversity is the other great teacher that the majority of entrepreneur’s face starting off. If you’re not up to the challenge of facing and overcoming adversity then find a job that suits you because being an entrepreneur is not an easy path. As others have stated, you should consider staying in school, studying hard, and overcoming the adversity that you’re currently facing in your very young life. If you do, you’ll look back and be happy that you stuck it out.
Don’t quit until you have something concrete. You are young, true, but at the same time it’s not wise to start giving up on solid paths without a new direction. Entretreneurship means nothing without a solid plan.
Felt the same about electronic engineering. Failed second year barely revised, was going to quit and then thought fuck it. Turned it around and got high 70s% on retake and final years, averaged a 2:1 nearly a first.
For me, motivation didn’t come from the course which was shit. I had some personal reasons, as well as the realisation I’d spent a lot of money, didn’t want to start another course and that it helps a hell of a lot getting jobs.
Looking back though, there were things that could have motivated me had I really thought about it. The jobs advertised were boring as f, but being able to build robots or research new power sources would have been a spark.
Whether you quit or not you need to find an interest. Ask what you want in life, what topics interest you (nothing to do with engineering) and then see if they loop back in.
It depends what engineering you’re doing but if it’s mechanical maybe aircraft interests you, or civil travel abroad does.
From a 57 year old former professional musician, business owner and now semi retired. LEAVE SCHOOL NOW! Stop wasting time and money. What do you really love? I played music because I loved it desperately. Because of that I NEVER felt poor, even though I was most of the time. Then I went into a totally different direction because my body started breaking down.
You’re so young you don’t even know it yet. Take HUGE risks right now. Throw hail Marys. If you fail, fine go do something else. Don’t look for validation from anyone. If it’s a crazy idea but you love it, do it without fear. Making money isn’t success. Happiness and the collecting of happiness is success. I’ve been poor and happy and rich and miserable. I’ll take a double portion of poor and happy.
NEVER WASTE TIME DOING SOMETHING YOU DON’T LOVE. You can’t buy time. You can’t buy happiness. You can’t afford regret. If I was 20 again I would still play music but I would take better care of my body so I could play longer. I would have taken bigger chances no matter how crazy it sounded.
Good luck youngin’. If you’re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly bear!
**You cannot find your true calling without being in the game.**
I used to spend days wasting my time trying to discover my passion, but that’s a waste of time, especially when you’re just starting out. You don’t have enough data points to know what you like and what you don’t. You have to try a lot of things.Don’t focus on making million dollars next year. Instead, focus on trying as many things as possible. Five years down the road, you’ll have enough data points to decide on your passion and double down on it.Your main goal in your 20s is to find a skill that aligns with your strengths and weaknesses and focus on mastering it. The money will flow automatically.
**Here’s what I would do if I were in your place:**
**1. I wouldn’t drop out:** I would continue going to college but study a few days before exams. I know it’s frustrating. You know what’s more frustrating? Having to do things you don’t like every day for 8 hours without seeing results for days, weeks, sometimes months—that’s entrepreneurship. (This ensures you don’t have to worry about food and a place to live.)
**2. Learn Everyday:** Learn about different types of businesses and choose the one you’re most curious about.You have everything you need to learn on YouTube. Don’t worry about buying courses and coaching programs right now—I’ve spent thousands of dollars on them. They are helpful, for sure, but I don’t think it’s necessary at your stage.
**3. Find 10 companies:** Once you have basic information about the business you want to start, find 10 companies already doing what you want to do. Get a job there. Make sure there are less 15 employees. This way you can learn directly from the founders.
This will help you access the right network, all the resources you need, and help you develop those skills.
Believe me when I say this: ‘Working under the right person will put you 10 years ahead of trying to learn by yourself.’I would highly recommend you get into high-ticket sales, as you can use that skill anywhere you go.
**4. Quit the Job:** I would quit the job, probably after 2-3 years, once I feel confident about my skills. Then, I would go about starting my own business.”
**Here are some of the things i wish i knew when i was getting started**
* Ignore the noise on social media. Just focus on yourself
* Play a long-term game (Do it for your future self)
* Play to Win (Don’t Half-ass things you work on)
* Your word is your Bond
* You only have one Name. So, make sure to protect it
* Focus on Quality rather than Quantity (Especially with the people you work with)
* Quality doesn’t mean people with money. (They should be qualified in other aspects of it aswell.)
* This one actually cost me a lot of time and money.
* Play your game rather than focusing others.
* Focus on adding value to every person you come across (You’ll be paid based on your value add)
Once you have learnt about the industry you wanna get in and have basic knowledge about it. Hit me up i’ll see if i can connect you with someone.
Hope that helps 🙂
There’s no one like you in the world nor will be. So, PLAY YOUR GAME !!!
PS: You cannot expect your mom to understand your feelings right now. They want the best for you. You gotta prove it to them by showing that you can take care of yourself. Once you get the job as i mentioned and start making some decent money. Move out. This will show them that you are serious about what you are doing and will make it work. It will take time for sure. Heck, i was making tens of thousands of dollars and still my mom was scared about the consistency of it.
Pick yourself up and keep going man, it happens to all of us. I’d suggest completing on your education and also looking at why you’re putting in less effort, is there something distracting you? If so remove it or temporarily distance yourself from it so you can complete your schooling, and then go into whatever entrepreneurial endeavors you like.
Helloo, what major exactly ?
You could discuss the matter with professionals,
I do own an HVAC company could somehow convince you maybe? Or show you the way ?
Engineering is so beautiful, just try to find your exact place in it?
Where can you apply it in real life?
An engineer can be a business major but a businessmajor cannot be an engineer- remember this!
Just let you know its 100% ok to be lost in life at age 20. Personally I was pretty lost in life until age 25 or so. Your brain is still developing and you are trying to process things in an increasingly complex world while having to meet the demands of study/work etc. Its understandable and common. If you are at age 30 and still lost then I would consider that a big issue.
If you have trouble with your study – I can suggest that you make some Goals and focus on what you are going to do after getting qualified and use that as fuel in your mind to get to the next stage. I speak from experience, I have done this several times myself to as I struggled with motivation during study as well. I told myself what achieving the certification would mean to me and how it helps with my goals and it just really helped to smash it out. I would suggest even if you don’t want to be an engineer long term in the future, it can still be a good idea to get the degree. It looks good on your C.V. for one thing. Even if you want to change to another career, people will respect that you got the degree.
Put up a dream board with your goals somewhere that you can see them.
If you have trouble with energy, try some supplements and make sure you don’t drink everyday as that really fucks with your testosterone which impacts motivation and drive.
Also your moms reaction is completely fucked, what the fuck kind of shit is that. Fucking parents man, so many of them don’t have a clue.
eat shit belgium nerd
Maybe mom is more worried about her future than yours. Not a bad thing but I think that’s what happened.
take it slow for a semester and rebuild your confidence in self studying
i had this exact same path, i left college for a year and decided to come back taking a small courseload to not overwhelm myself with work
finish your engineering degree, you’ll make money that will support you and give you enough to work on your startup ideas