#OpenRelationship #BiSexual #LesbianCouple #RelationshipAdvice
🌈 What to do when your girlfriend refuses to talk to you after sleeping with a friend 🌈
So, you find yourself in a tough situation. Your girlfriend, Amber, is giving you the silent treatment after finding out that you slept with your friend, Luke. It’s a complex situation, especially considering that your relationship with Amber is open and the guidelines for your sexual encounters have been clearly defined. Here’s what you can do to try and mend the situation:
### Reassure Amber of your commitment
1. Remind her of the love and commitment you have for her. Reassure her that your relationship comes first and that your actions with Luke were not an indication of any wavering feelings towards her.
2. Take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge how they have made her feel. It’s important for Amber to see that you understand the impact of your choices and that you are willing to make things right.
### Communicate openly and honestly
1. Give Amber the space she needs to process her emotions but let her know that you are available whenever she’s ready to talk. Express your desire to work through this together and let her know that her feelings are valid and important to you.
2. Once she’s ready to talk, communicate openly and honestly about the situation. Listen to her concerns and address them with empathy and understanding. Reiterate your commitment to the rules and agreements of your open relationship and discuss any potential adjustments that can be made to avoid similar misunderstandings in the future.
### Seek advice from the Bhagavad Gita
The Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Hindu scripture, offers wisdom on navigating relationships and difficult situations. One of its key teachings is the concept of ‘karma yoga’, which emphasizes the importance of performing one’s duties without attachment to the results. An application of this teaching to your situation could involve expressing your remorse for the pain caused to Amber, but also understanding that the outcome of your actions is outside of your control. By focusing on doing what is right and showing genuine remorse, you can demonstrate your commitment to resolving the situation while releasing attachment to the specific outcome.
### Take steps to rebuild trust
1. Let your actions speak louder than your words. Show Amber through your behavior that she can trust you and that you are committed to making things right.
2. Consider seeking counseling or guidance from a trusted individual or mentor who can offer objective advice and support for both of you as you navigate this difficult time in your relationship.
It’s important to remember that every relationship is unique, and the path towards resolution may look different for everyone. Ultimately, the key lies in open communication, empathy, and a genuine willingness to repair the trust that has been damaged. Good luck!
You know those horror stories you mentioned?
Yeah, you’re in one
So, a 22 year old started dating a 17 year old and then convinced her that sleeping around is okay.
The now 24 year old is fucking lots of people and ignoring the no 19 year old, then gets angry when said 19 year old finally fucks someone else.
Your partner is a controlling narcissist, dump her ass. If Luke.is nice maybe keep hooking up with him for awhile? Either way dump your girlfriend.
your girlfriend is biphobic, coming from a fellow bisexual. she wanted you to open the relationship so she can sleep around with as many women as she wants, but you’re not allowed to sleep with a man? even though that is your sexuality?
yeah, she’s biphobic and you deserve a better partner who is supportive of your sexuality.
Hate to say it but this reads like fiction
Opening a relationship very rarely works, especially with a teenager being manipulated into it. Your girlfriend wanted to fuck around and knew you were easy to manipulate into accepting it, because she’s spent 2 years grooming you into it! End it and end it now, date your own age and don’t open a relationship
Be thankful that the trash took itself out. Your gf sucks.
Sorry she didn’t really want a open relationship she just wanted to have sex and thought you wouldn’t do it it wouldn’t have mattered if it was a woman this is over
22 year old starts dating a 17 year old. 🚩
Older partner opens the relationship then berates younger partner for partaking in open relationship 🚩
Older partner emotionally abuses younger partner 🚩
And this is why you don’t have silly open relationships. End this and move on.
While it was a bad move to not have talked with her before it happened (I don’t know what rules you have about how transparent you have to be, but it sounds like those weren’t followed before hand), her main arguments against it are a HUGE red flag.
She’s allowed to be upset that the transparency rule wasn’t followed, she’s is NOT allowed to:
-manipulate the situation by saying you’re going to leave her. Especially after she’s had MULTIPLE partners during this time. That is absolutely bullshit and possesive and is unfair on you in your OPEN relationship. If she has jealousy issues like this, she’s not cut out for an open relationship.
-BE BIPHOBIC. I am a lesbian, I have dated several bi women. I understand that means they have been with men and will date men in the future. I have NEVER viewed a woman as less if she has been touched by a man. I have never thought sexist thoughts about “man” hands being on them. This is super gross biphobic rhetoric that I’ve seen many lesbians talk about and it’s absolutely disgusting. She does not respect you, she does not respect your sexuality. This is NOT OKAY.
Break up. You know this toxic relationship isn’t going to work anyway. She just wanted it opened she could cheat and not feel bad.
She’s very hypocritical and toxic. Cold shoulder is immature behaviour. Divorce her and date Luke lmao. She can grow up.
Gold star lesbian gf is mad that you’re not a gold star lesbian too.
So you were 17 and she was 22 when you started dating? Is that not weird to you?
She’s biphobic and has some serious internalized misogyny if she thinks that a man touching you somehow taints you in some way.
Best to leave her in the dust
The math isn’t math-ing here. Yall were how old when you started dating? And also, yeah, she likes the look of straight girls so she finds bi ones to date. But of course once you open up the relationship you’re gonna sleep with guys, so her getting shocked is hilarious since that’s basically what she asked for.
Your relationship was over the minute you opened your relationship it doesn’t matter who you did it with be it male or female this is her way of ending it and turning the blame on you remember she’s the one that initially wanted to open the relationship according to you!
Ah, so she didn’t want to open the relationship, she just wanted to sleep with other people while you stayed home alone.
This is done, don’t give into this controlling shit. Fully break it off yourself and invite Luke over again.
It sounds like she was most likely cheating you and used the open relationship to cheat freely. When someone asks to open a relationship and they already have partners lined up, it’s essentially premeditated cheating. She basically asked for your permission to have sexual relations with someone that she had already planned on having them with.
It sounds like you are being used and manipulated. She is changing the terms of the agreement to benefit her and control you. She is also ghosting you to make you feel wrong for having sex with someone else, which is also manipulative behavior.
If you continue to enable this behavior it will only get worse. She says you will leave her for a man, but who’s to say she won’t leave you for another woman?
You are best just letting her go and moving in a different direction. When you find a better partner you will realize how toxic this situation actually was. It seems like she doesn’t care about the relationship as much as you do. Did she feel guilty about sleeping with other people and call you?
Your gf is toxic as possible. She decided to open the relationship and, just when you found someone, she snaps. That’s typical of the “starter”, who usually asks for an opening because they want to tuck around, believing their SO will never do the same or in the same amount. When confronted with a different reality they snap..
Wait am I crazy or were you underage when you and Amber got together? Honestly a 5 year gap at 17 (or even barely 18) is significant. Then of course she is acting biphobic towards you as well as hypocritical about an open relationship she opened. Honestly it sounds to me like she wanted to cheat without cheating and is mad you get to do the same.
Your girlfriend is toxic. Dont take her back.
>and though I was a bit reluctant due to the horror stories I’ve seen
Should’ve listen to those horror stories.
This sounds a lot more like biphobia. You guys talked about your arrangement in detail and it was never mentioned that men were off the table. It doesn’t make sense for her to be upset.
Plus, it sounds like she opened up your relationship with potential partners in mind. Which is generally advised against in ethical non-monogamy.
JFC – you’re 19 and your GF started dating her friend’s younger sister when she was still a child in high school presumably. Then wanted to open it up bc obviously she wasn’t going to get what she needed from you. She is toxic ASF. You’re too young to have to deal with this shit. Just break it off and move on. You’ll feel much better.
So this seems like a mix of biphobia and her wanting to have her cake and eat it and not allow you to. You are one of those horror stories you’ve read about
Whether she is biphobic or whatever else, it doesn’t matter at this point. I know the Washington Post, New York Times, TLC, and other effinist driven outlets, you know what I mean, push open relationships, it’s all stupid and propaganda. The moment she brought up an open relationship, you should’ve ran for the hills. Anytime a partner, hetero or not, brings up an open relationship, they’re either already cheating and need a way to justify their cheating, or they already have someone lined up, or both. She is insecure, but she’s also someone who wanted this thing because of, fun for me and not for thee, that’s your problem. She wanted to have all the fun herself, get all the fun in the bedroom, and you get nothing. And even if she was cool with you doing whatever you wanted with whoever you wanted, she’s moving the goalpost and being a total hypocrite and narcissist. Break up, she wants to play the silent game, let her know it’s now a forever thing. Also, how do you know she’s not out fucking some other girl right now? She’s totally manipulating you and you need to get out. Also, don’t ever fall for this open relationship crap again. It just comes back to bite you in the ass and now you see it.
your girlfriend is not only biphobic but a fucking predator. why was a 22 year old with a 17 year old??
Wow having sex with other people while in a relationship leads to disaster??? Who would have thought!!!!!!
You can’t do anything.
As it stands, she’s deeply threatened by your sexuality.
The moment you landed a dude, it validated her insecurities, that maybe your interest in women is just a phase. She feels she cannot compete. She thinks people can “steal” you, as if you have no agency. There’s a lot to unpack.
It also seems like the relationship was only open based on her terms. She opened it up. She had people lined up. She drew the boundaries. Seems a bit unfair and dishonest here.
Going forward, if you have such an arrangement again – make sure you discuss all the hypotheticals beforehand.
In the meantime, you need to just wait it out. She may need a few days to process and organize her feelings.
I understand this puts you in a precarious position. Being able to tell someone “I need space” isn’t even a kindness – it’s just how mature people communicate the things they need. Ghosting your partner is childish, disrespectful and abusive.
Try reaching out again in 2 days. And again on the 3rd. If a week goes by without hearing anything, consider yourselves broken up. There’s no reason to be with someone that’s so disrespectful towards your time and concerns. I mean, what happens at the next crisis? Can you rely on her to even say “I’m okay”?
Yeah, no thanks.
OP, get rid of the do as I say, not as I do gf. You’re young, that manipulating gf used you, who needs to be an ex. Please do not try to reach out to her again, and enjoy your life. Lastly, inthe futur deal with someone close to you in age.
everything the guys said but also she has clearly shown she is biphobic and that is something to take into consideration if you think you should continue for whatever reason. she clearly thinks your interest in men means you’ll cheat on her because you’ll be ‘lacking dick’ at some point
So your sex life with her sucks and you’re banging other people, why stay together?
Hey as a bi sexual woman who just got out of a relationship with a much older partner who wanted to have an open relationship until I found a partner I liked, your girlfriend isn’t right for you.
I really loved my partner. When I finally broke up with them after 3 years I cried for weeks. But now that I’ve been out of the relationship for a few months, I’m furious at the way they treated me.
Your girlfriend is a biphobic goldstar lesbian who is taking advantage of you. I know this is really hard to hear, but take a deep breath. You are going to be ok. You can do this. You can get out. And it will feel better than you ever could have imagined. Only a few weeks later it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. There will be hard moments. And moments where you want to run back and beg her to take you back, but don’t. You can do this. Those feelings will fade with time.
Never seen such a fucked up situation
So your partner wanted an open relationship but is insecure about you being stolen away by a guy? It sounds like the open relationship isn’t working for either of you as it is. It wasn’t working for you before this anyway.
Unless you will demand the relationship be closed again you should end the relationship and explore your sexuality with whoever you want.
She’s being hella biphobic. I’m so sorry she’s treating you like this. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you shouldn’t have to beg for her forgiveness or respect. You deserve better.
You dont. You run away like mad from that pile of red flags.
She’s biphobic, and you started dating her when you were 17? You need to let her go. There’s a reason that someone at her big age went after someone five years younger. That’s hella toxic and let her take it out on someone else.