#WorkplaceHarassment #ProfessionalBoundaries #OfficeEtiquette
Hey there! 😊 It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, but don’t worry, I’ve got some advice for you!
### The Uncomfortable Situation
So, it seems like you’ve found yourself in an uncomfortable situation with a future co-worker. Matt’s behavior three years ago was definitely inappropriate and it’s understandable that you’re feeling uneasy about working with him. It’s important to address this for your own peace of mind and to ensure a comfortable working environment.
### Options for Handling the Situation
Here are a few options to consider when deciding how to handle this delicate situation:
1. **Have a Direct Conversation with Matt**
It’s completely valid to want to address the previous incident with Matt before starting your new job. You could take a firm but friendly approach, setting clear boundaries and making it known that your interactions will be strictly professional. This can help set the tone for your working relationship and alleviate any tension.
2. **Speak to HR**
Another option is to bring the situation to the attention of your HR department. While the incident didn’t occur at work, it’s still important for them to be aware of the situation in case any issues arise in the future. They can provide guidance on how to handle the working relationship and ensure your comfort and safety in the workplace.
3. **Discuss with Your Boss**
Similarly, you might consider discussing the situation with your direct manager. They could offer support and guidance on how to navigate the working relationship with Matt, and may also be able to address the issue from a managerial perspective.
4. **Keep Your Distance**
If you’re unsure about addressing the situation directly, it’s completely okay to keep your distance from Matt and maintain a strictly professional relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to avoid the office kitchen or dart down different hallways, but rather that you can interact with him in a professional manner when necessary.
### Considering Your Options
It’s completely understandable that leaving your job isn’t feasible at this time, especially when considering your need to stay local to provide support for your ill parents. This makes it even more important to address the situation and find a way to coexist in the workplace without feeling uncomfortable or anxious.
### Final Thoughts and Moving Forward
Ultimately, the decision of how to handle this situation is entirely up to you. It’s essential to choose an approach that aligns with your values and will ensure you feel comfortable and safe in your new workplace. It’s also important to remember that you have a right to feel secure at work, and addressing this issue is a step towards creating a positive and respectful work environment.
I hope this advice has been helpful in giving you some clarity on how to navigate this difficult situation. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s perfectly okay to seek support and guidance from HR or your manager. Wishing you all the best in starting your new job! 🌟
> Say nothing, keeping my distance from him, unless (until?) he does something inappropriate
That one. It’s not a problem until is a problem. If you bring it up, you’re the one making it a problem.
I would mention it to your boss for sure. I had an employee that worked for me for a few months. I then hired someone that had worked with him at a previous employer. They both worked similar shifts. Then I get a call from EOCC and was informed that the second employee had filed harassment charges against the first employee at the previous job and that they had been terminated. The second employee wanted me to in turn do the same. Nope you can work separate shifts. Big PITA
1. No.
2. No.
3. No.
4. Yes.
>I later found out that Matt contacted my ex-boyfriend, Steven, and asked for naked pictures of me.Â
 Before you started working there?  Â
>I’m wondering what I should say, if anything. Â
Unless Matt starts harassing you as a co-worker, nothing.
I am in HR. Since this happened **before** he became your coworker you say nothing. Don’t start a new job on this note.
If (and sadly, I think when) he starts to harass you after you are coworkers, you go directly to HR. Even if the harassment happens outside of work hours.
You say nothing to him that is not work related and you only speak to him if you need to work with him. You can respond to hello with a grey rock hello. No chit chat – nothing beyond that.
I know this sounds harsh. I am sorry. But you are the newbie to the company and you want to present professionally and neutral in any interactions you must have with him. Because he is most likely going to trash talk you. Or try spreading rumors. Because he sounds like a predator. You want any and all witnesses to only see your interaction as professional and neutral.
Document every interaction with him. Get a small notebook and write down date, time, what was said and who else was around. If he texts you – screen shot it.
To everyone else- I am not over reacting. I have seen this situation and I have had to investigate and resolve it.
To the OP look after yourself. I wish you luck and success.
This happened years ago and you should not bring it up. It has nothing to with work. At all.
If he tries flirting or whatever, do not reciprocate or say anything other than to stop. I’d email him or message on and tell him to stop (so you can prove you told him). If it continues after you request he stop, then it’s an Hr issue.