#MovingOut #RelationshipProblems #FamilyDrama #CommunicationTips
Are you in a situation where you can no longer stand your fiance’s ex-girlfriend living with you? If so, you’re not alone. Dealing with complex family dynamics can be challenging, but there are ways to address the issue without causing offense. In this article, we’ll explore some strategies for suggesting that your fiance’s ex moves out in a compassionate and respectful manner.
##Understanding the Situation
Before approaching the topic with your fiance and his ex, it’s essential to have a clear understanding of the situation. Consider the following points:
1. **The Current Living Arrangement:** The ex-girlfriend lives with you, your fiance, and his parents in a guest house on their property.
2. **Relationship Dynamics:** The ex-girlfriend has children with your fiance and has a history of conflict with him and his parents.
3. **Your Feelings:** Acknowledge your own feelings and concerns about the situation, including how the conflicts impact you.
##Effective Communication Strategies
When discussing the possibility of the ex-girlfriend moving out, it’s crucial to communicate effectively and respectfully. Here are some tips to guide your conversation:
1. **Express Your Feelings:** Use “I” statements to share how the current living situation is affecting you emotionally and mentally.
2. **Listen Empathetically:** Allow your fiance and his ex-girlfriend to express their perspectives without judgment.
3. **Focus on Solutions:** Instead of blaming or criticizing, focus on finding a mutually beneficial solution for everyone involved.
4. **Set Boundaries:** Establish clear boundaries and expectations for the future living arrangements to prevent misunderstandings.
##Bringing Up the Topic
Approaching the subject of the ex-girlfriend moving out requires sensitivity and tact. Here are some steps to consider when initiating the conversation:
1. **Choose the Right Time:** Select a calm and private moment to bring up the topic with your fiance and his ex-girlfriend.
2. **Express Concern:** Start by expressing your concern for everyone’s well-being and the need for a more harmonious living environment.
3. **Propose Solutions:** Suggest alternative living arrangements or support services that could benefit the ex-girlfriend and her children.
4. **Seek Collaboration:** Encourage open communication and collaboration to find a resolution that works for all parties involved.
##Advice from Ancient Wisdom
In challenging situations like this, it can be helpful to seek guidance from ancient wisdom. The Bhagavad Gita teaches us about the importance of dharma, or righteous duty, in navigating complex relationships. Reflect on the following principles as you navigate this situation:
1. **Selflessness:** Strive to act selflessly for the greater good of all involved.
2. **Equanimity:** Maintain inner peace and equanimity, regardless of external conflicts and challenges.
3. **Compassion:** Approach the situation with compassion and understanding towards the feelings and needs of others.
##Conclusion
In conclusion, addressing the issue of your fiance’s ex-girlfriend living with you requires compassion, effective communication, and a collaborative approach. By acknowledging your feelings, listening empathetically, and seeking solutions together, you can navigate this complex family dynamic with grace and understanding. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and seek a harmonious living environment for all involved.
Do you and he not fight because you do whatever he wants? I would also bet dollars to donuts that they are still screwing when you aren’t around. However, it’s not your house and you don’t get to make demands. If you don’t like it, then YOU need to move out. If your fiance truly wants to be with you, then the two of you can move out.
Why did you think any of this was a good idea? Getting engaged to someone who was having twins with someone else? Moving in with fiancé’s parents? Living on the same property with his ex?
You’re the third wheel.
How old are these kids? You said everyone wants the “babies” to grow up there which implies they are infants. How long have you been with your “fiance”? Are you perhaps the reason they’re not together and that’s why he and his family feel bad for her and have her staying there?
Lol, hun. Your fiancé’s ex isn’t living with you. His parents built a house for her to move into to. You’re living *with her.* The house was for her and her kids. You’re the +1. If you don’t like it, stop freeloading and move out.
You don’t bring it up.
– not your house
-not your ex
-not your kids.
​
You find a healthy way to deal with it all or you move out and move on.
Free housing is never free.
So, as an outside observer, I see that there was this man who abandon his wife/girlfriend who had twins and started up with a new woman and his parents said let’s have a way for mom and dad to be near the babies and grandparents to be near the babies to help out and here’s his new girlfriend who’s getting free housing complaining about the whole situation.
Honestly, you are the least important person in this whole situation and you should start realizing that the Ax will always be in your boyfriends life because the babies and you should find a roll and how you can fit in and try the mom and dad of two twin babies away from the grandparents and father.
How do you ‘suggest she moves out’?!? You can’t…it’s not your place…in EVERY SENSE.
Honey, she’s there to stay. Why would she leave? In-laws built a house for them…what incentive is there for her to leave?
You should leave, and I don’t mean WITH the guy. This is a mess, and you’re waaaaay to young to be enmeshed in this nonsense. You’re already tired of it? Just wait…it ain’t gonna get better
So where is she expected to go with 2 small children, had you thought that far ahead? Has it occurred to you that she might hate this living situation as well?
It’s not your house nor is it your fiancées so you have zero say who lives there. If you hate it so much, why don’t you move out? You seem happy enough to leech off the in-laws
She isn’t going to just disappear because you don’t like her being there. So you have 2 choices, get your own place or put up with it
Also, no, you don’t have a perfect relationship
“Perfect relationship”? I think not.
Sorry but it’s none of your business. She’s not living in the house with you she’s in the guest house. The parents own it you have utterly no say. If you don’t want to live with her anymore move out. I suspect your fiance will not leave cuz he’s living I presume for free at Mom and Dad’s house. So either you suck it up or you get out
You as a 23 year old should reconsider marrying a 30 year old man with 2 kids with another 30 year old woman who lives with you.
I mean you chose this mess. Idk why you thought it was a great idea.
Come on…
He lives with his baby mamma, in his parent’s house. This situation is doomed for you. Walk away.
These poor grandparents are already raising 4 children, don’t be the 5th.
Please don’t be back here in several months saying, “My HUSBAND lives with his baby mamma, in his parent’s house. How do I get him to see we need to move out on our own?”
You are blinded by your feelings. This man cannot or will not live separately from his parents, even less so from his brand new children. The very fact you got with this guy so soon after he broke up with someone who went on to have his kids….and you got engaged? Why? What the hell does he bring to the table? What does he have to offer as a partner? Companionship? Get a dog.
How do you build a life with someone who has this…. pre-started life with someone else ALREADY going? Where are you supposed to fit in? Where is YOUR life supposed to be? You deserve better than to be a bed warmer.
Guuuuurl , you have a loose – loose situation here …. Oooof
You lost the moment you decided to get in a relationship with a man who has children & ex-wife living in the same roof as him….
You just sit, stay quiet and be pretend to be nice to EVERYONE or else you may have a ugly situation where the whole family is now against you (SPECIALLY the grandparents , if they have big influence towards their son, you don’t want to get on their bad side, they will ALWAYS prioritize grandchildren sometimes even above their own children )
Not your house, not your babies, not your business.
Please don’t get pregnant in an effort to keep him. Leave if you don’t like things.
How long have you been with him?
I can’t believe his parents are cool with not one but two of his girlfriends sponging off them, they must be loaded.
No such thing as free rent. Your rent is you get to put up with his ex hanging around indefinitely. You will never win against the grandchildren, and the ex is their mom, you can’t exactly expect to the parents to keep the babies and kick her out. She’ll take them with her and then the parents don’t have their grandkids anymore. You think they’ll choose that for *you*? Nah. You say nothing, you eat the shit up and smile because you’re saving money and get to live in a big private fabulous house for free. People do way, way worse for less. Be grateful.
Not you downvoting all the comments
How is this fun for you? This situation is not going to change. Walk away.
>we have the perfect relationship
You really don’t.
It’s not your house so you don’t say anything. You move out if you don’t like things.
ORRR you could reflect on the fact that you’re far too young to have this messy a life and a grown man who is living at home with both his former and current partner is a huge red flag.
It must be tough to have only one man with a pulse living on the same desert island as you. That’s the only plausible reason for what you are doing.
This is a ridiculous situation that you put yourself into. But, you have absolutely no right to ask her to move it and it’s outrageous that you think you do. She was there before you, she’s got kids with your bf, and it’s not your house **nor** your boyfriend’s house.
If you don’t like the living conditions then you need to leave. That’s your choice
> They have a beautiful, large home that allows us all the privacy we need
Apparently not. But you don’t have more of a right to it than her.
Arr you sure they’re fighting?
It’s not your house. You don’t get to dictate who lives there. Do you really think he has any intention of living elsewhere either? Away from his kids?
If you’re not loving the arrangement, I’d suggest moving out and dating someone else with a less messy life.
If you’re having issues with living in the same place as her, then YOU need to move out. Your fiancé’s parents want their grandchildren living there. It is their house, their money, and their responsibility to manage their relationship with her.
You have NO ground to stand on here. You’re quite happy to leech off them yourself, but want to tell the mother of their grandchildren to leave? Can you even hear yourself?
That’s a really childish and self-centred attitude. You don’t get to make decisions like that which affect everyone else’s living situation.
I think you would be happier if you moved and ran away as fast you can from this toxic situation. I would absolutely not marry into this mess.
Are you sure it’s just empathy he feels? Sometimes chemistry works in such a way that two passionate individuals can both clash and be fire together all the same. It’s not a relationship that can work easily, rarely does in my opinion. but when it does, it’s fireworks. You’re the calm, but is he into storms? Just wondering….
Listen, beggars can’t be choosers. If you are uncomfortable, then you are the one that has to move. It’s not your house, you don’t get a say in who lives there.
Ha! Sweetie. His parents built the house FOR THEIR GRANDKIDS. That means that the grandkids get to stay there! Unless there’s a super reason for your bf to be awarded full custody of the kids, his ex is ALWAYS going to live there.
If you don’t like the drama, YOU and your fiancé can move, but I’m betting he doesn’t want to move away from his kids.
Abandon your entitled idea & stay in your lane.
You don’t bring it up at all to ANYONE except your fiance because it’s NOT YOUR HOUSE or property. You have ZERO right to ask someone to leave a property that isn’t yours. If you don’t like it, you and your fiance need to move, not the ex. You wanna continue to live there for free/cheap, that’s the gig. If you find it unsuitable, move out.
Did they say they don’t like her? Also……girl he doesn’t care enough to fight with you. He has kids with this woman she isn’t going anywhere.
You have a perfect relationship
lol
You either find to a way to accept all this craziness or move on.
This is an incredibly messy situation and you signed up for it for some reason?
Maybe you two should think about moving?