Are my parents wrong for giving away my toys without my permission and refusing to replace them? Should I have filed an insurance claim to get compensation for the missing Lego set my nephew took? Did I overreact by insisting on a specific replacement from my parents? #AITA #parents #toys #Lego #replacement #family #moving #insurance #compensation
>He said he didn’t steal anything.
Giving big “If it’s my house, it belongs to me!” vibes
He took something, regardless of what it was, that you paid for (something relatively expensive that would have appreciated in value) and gave it away without your permission. He absolutely stole it and you were right to demand he pay for it.
NTA
100% YTA. Not for insisting the pay hou back, but for how you handled it. It sounded like you could have told your dad up front that it was a collectors item and he would have reimbursed you. Instead, you threatened to file a report and forced your dad to go to the store to find out how much it was. In the end, when he found out the cost, he paid you. Why couldn’t you have led with the cost when you confronted them?
Also, while you are well within your right to make them pay you back, you are also kinda an AH for not showing an ounce of grace or compassion for family that helped you save money by renting their basement on the cheap and after they helped you move.
Lastly, why did you not tell the people helping you move that you had such expensive shit that needed special care?!
Again, within your rights, but doesn’t absolve you of being an asshole.
YTA … but so are they. They shouldn’t have gave something or yours away, but you should have told them the general value of the set, which I’m sure would’ve gotten you an apology. Then drop it. They’re your parents, probably older and obviously unaware of the value of some collectibles. But you choose to act like a brat, and not an adult.
ESH. Your parents are TA because they didn’t consider that the Lego sets have value, but you’re TA because you’re acting like that should be common knowledge. Not everyone thinks of Lego as collectibles, something that they need to care for the condition of, but, after the fact, you should have explained that it was a rare and valuable set, and that they messed up by just giving it to your nephew to play with.
INFO: how much money have your parents saved you by letting you live in their basement unit? Sounds like they let you have your privacy and have been pretty good with the arrangement otherwise.
I’m gonna go against the grain and say YTA.
You holding back on the true market value of a retired set and sending your dad to the Lego store and then to a Bricks and Minifigs to be humiliated is a massive AH move. You could have easily pulled up eBay and showed him the set being worth $300 before wasting everybody’s time like that. This is no way to treat family, let alone your parents who let you live in their basement unit for cheap.
This sounds like an honest mistake on your parents’ part, and they made you whole by replacing it. It sounds like your parents also didn’t realize the value of the set and were super apologetic once they figured it out. If you’re going to be storing something of that value where it’s accessible to others (let alone in your parents’ basement), it’s kinda on you to let them know not to mess with them.
I’m a big Lego guy – I regularly spend several hundred dollars at a time on new sets. But they are first and foremost toys. Lego themself says they’re meant to be played with. Any unsuspecting adult who isn’t into the whole Lego investing scene would naturally give it to a kid to play with.c
NAH. Sounds like your dad started out being a bit of a jerk about it all but came to realize what he did, found out that the value is not trivial, and is making it right.
Accept the apology and then make the effort to meet him at his level, go have a drink with him or something. Tell him that you appreciate him making it right. Let this be a building block to a good adult relationship with your Dad. The ask your dad to help your mom get over it.
YTA. You said you lived there cheap. You say you’re an adult.
Well, we are discussing a toy. Maybe a collectors item, but still a toy. And if you lived cheap, consider that an extra bit of rent you just paid.
Throwing a fit, threatening to go to the cops? Really? Filing a police report and insurance claim takes hours.
If you have a decent job, hours = money and it’s barely worth your time for a $300 item. Your parents might have goofed but they were trying to help you, and trying to make a kid happy.
YTA.
NTA. It’s exhausting that adults will shame you if you think something you own is important to you when they think it’s childish.
I stood firm about not giving a baby one of my Pokémon plushies at work after it wandered over to my desk and took it. It started wailing when I took it back and the dad said, “Can’t she just have it?” The answer is no, that’s mine, and I’m already pissed that your kid slobbered all over something that belongs to me. If she took my computer mouse, there would have been no question, so why is it suddenly embarrassing for *me* if I make a big deal about someone stealing my plush?
NTA. If you don’t want to pay $300 for someone’s collectible, you shouldn’t break/damage/steal/open it without their permission.
“For a toy?” It doesn’t matter what they value it at. The market values it at $300, and they have to make you whole.
Your dad is upset he made a fool of himself? Well, whose fault is that? Not yours.
Your parents shouldn’t have given away your stuff, especially without asking you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a “toy” or something else, it’s your property, and they need to respect that. You have a system for your Lego sets, and it’s not their place to decide it’s just a toy.
Your dad giving you $70 for a Lego set that costs way more is ridiculous. He should’ve asked you before giving it to your nephew. It’s not about being childish; it’s about respecting your things. Good on you for standing your ground and insisting they replace it. The fact that he had to spend $300 to replace it shows they really messed up.
It’s not your job to explain the value of your stuff. If they don’t want to make a fool of themselves, they should stop messing with your things. You did the right thing by making them fix their mistake. Don’t feel bad, they need to understand they can’t just take your stuff. You’re definitely not the asshole here.
Nta. I wish we knew what happened at the Lego store 👀
YTA
Yeah dude, you’re the asshole.
Don’t get me wrong: your parents made a mistake and were clearly oblivious about the whole thing as most parents tend to be. And as a fellow lego lover, I get that this is a very shitty situation for you.
But the way you handled it, makes you the clear asshole. Immediately escalating, mentioning police reports and insurance claims, … That’s what assholes do.
You’re dad got defensive and maybe didn’t respond great either, but judging from how you seemed to have started that conversation, no wonder he did. He just wanted to come help his kid, however useless you describe him to be. Ánd he was apologetic the moment he realized the truth of the situation. Because he is not an asshole.
So yeah, you are in your right to ask compensation, absolutely. But you handled it like an asshole.
NTA
If your nephew was young enough yo need distracting then he shouldn’t have even been there during the packing and moving. They should have asked you first if he could have/play with the legos.
My husband is a collector (not legos, but something people equally find childish) and a lot of his stuff is pretty expensive and/or sentimental. He would have been livid.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a toy or a hair tie. Don’t steal from people. Especially, don’t steal from your adult kids. NTA.
You are technically in the right here, but I think your response is a bit harsh and that you are kind of the asshole here. While your parents had no business giving your set away, I don’t think I would have been able to charge the people who raised me for their mistake. I definitely would have made them aware of my displeasure and let them know they crossed a line by giving something that did not belong to them away. However, I would not be using the term “stole”. It was a mindless mistake. And I would never make my parents shell out $300 bucks. Especially when I had just lived in their home for cheap/less than market value.
You only get one set of parents. It’s not worth it to cause a rift over money or a mistake. When your parents are truly aging or when you don’t have them anymore, maybe you will see things differently. You have made your point. Back down for the sake of the relationship and to avoid regret.
Haven’t finished reading, but a bag of used horse condoms would net you a lot of money. Just sayin
It’s becoming a pet peeve of mine that people take or break others things and then accuse the citizen of being money hungry when they expect replacement. Things cost money! Being money hungry would be charging interest or somehow trying to profit off the situation. Expecting exact value replacement is not being money hungry. Declining to pay your debts is though.
NTA as a fellow Lego collector, I completely understand. Lego has adapted to adult collectors, these sets are not cheap. People are allowed to like what they like, they don’t need to have an explanation.
Of course they are upset that they have to replace items that they first gave away and then disposed of. … Especially when the item turns out to be pricy. What was the definition of stealing again? Taking things that are owned by other people from other people, without their consent … – NTA
I am always skeptical of someone who has to tell everyone they are an adult. While you are correct that they should replace the set, threatening to file an insurance claim and getting the cops involved due to your nephew isn’t exactly adult behavior. I suspect you threw a fit and made this situation way worse than you are claiming. Maybe next time stop the kid from playing with your $300 collectible set in the first place.
NTA; I don’t care if it was your collection of Calico Critters, they’re things that are important to you. The fact that sealed Lego sets appreciate in value, that there’s a huge collectors market and not even a niche or obscure one, that’s just icing on the cake. I LOVE that he went to the Lego store and found out, oh the satisfaction!
NTA
Whether a $10 item or a $1000 item, your parents had absolutely no right to give your property away.
NTA. Those Lego sets can be worth a fortune. Especially the older sets. They are discontinued. I want the Beatles Yellow Submarine set. When it came out, I didn’t want to spend the $90 on it. Said I’ll wait. That set is now $300+. If anyone had taken it, I would raise hell.
NTA. I’m a Lego guy myself (building mostly) and they should consider themselves lucky that it was only $300 to replace and not $3000.
NTA. You reap what you sow.
>My mom is upset that I’m expecting that much money for a toy.
It’s not a toy; it’s an expensive collectable.
>My dad is upset that I didn’t explain before he went and made a fool of himself at the store.
He didn’t ask. Worse yet, he didn’t even respect you enough to ask what it was worth *before* he gave it to your nephew.
And anyway, would he have really and truly understood what he’d done if you’d tried to tell him? Or would he have kept on dismissing you like your mom is still doing. Getting the toy store workers goggling at him when he tried to buy an expensive collector’s edition piece, and then having to go to the specialist store? That was more effective than someone he could downplay as overreacting trying to tell him the same thing.
>I’m upset that they stole from me.
Yup, that’s valid.
I misread and thought they gave your nephew a bag of horse condoms 😭
NTA. My wife is a huge Lego collector, and i know the prices can get outrageous. Your parents refuse to see they committed literal theft from their own child. Because they have no respect for you, your property, or your home. You did the right thing and handled it better than I would have. I’d have the police there the first time they denied buying a replacement.
NTA. I live with an AFOL and know that those sets are collectible and that it’s all about the boxes.
NTA
What does however make you an a-hole, is that I now have to know that horse condoms are a thing. There are now images in my head that I didn’t need there.
NTA, your parents just learned a valuable lesson. Hope it sticks.
NTA- they stole and ruined an asset from you, a personal investment that’s now worth $300 but knowing the lego Star Wars market, will easily cost double or triple that in a few years.
He should be glad you went after him now and not later, and that you found a cheaper option online.
NTA. I hope your Dad learned his lessons: He saw a Toy; but looks can be deceiving. He should also have learned that he is no longer the Boss of You.
Nta he did steal it. Thats what you call it when someone takes something that isn’t theirs.
You demanded the exact same model for a replacement.
NTA. Your parents clearly crossed a boundary by not respecting your belongings. Regardless of their perception of what is or isn’t valuable or age-appropriate, it was yours and not theirs to give away. They need to understand that personal property doesn’t lose its significance just because they don’t see its worth. Plus, making them replace it might just teach them to respect other people’s belongings in the future.
NTA. You handled this beautifully. You held your ground and created a situation in which your dad had to figure out for himself how badly he messed up. His irritation now is his embarrassment at having screwed up. It’s okay to let him learn that lesson. I’m sure he’ll never make this mistake again. Ignore his posturing.
NTA. It’s your lego set. Your parents had no right giving that away to anyone, and they 100% needed to replace that.
NTA. Your parents are judgmental and inconsiderate.
(1) They literally stole something of yours and gave it to your nephew without asking you first.
(2) When you asked them about it, they belittled you for even having it in the first place.
(3) They didn’t even think they needed to replace the stolen item and probably wouldn’t have even told you about it if you hadn’t asked.
Their opinion of whether Lego products are for kids is irrelevant, because the fact is that they are a collectible item that people pay a lot of money for.
All of it could have been avoided if they had just asked you first, or, even better, if they had bothered to have things in their home to entertain their nephew in the first place instead of just taking your stuff. They probably hoped since you have so many boxes of Lego sets you would never notice it was missing.
NTA. They had no business giving away your property. They need to consider themselves lucky they didn’t give away something with a really wild collector’s value. That $300 is a cheap learning experience.
NTA. Simple. They took something that they need to replace. They should have asked.