#FriendshipDilemma #ConcertOverWedding #FriendshipPriorities
Are you facing a tough choice between attending a concert you’ve been looking forward to for months and your best friend’s wedding? The struggle is real when personal commitments clash, leaving you feeling torn and conflicted. Let’s dive into the dilemma of choosing a concert over your best friend’s special day and explore some practical solutions to navigate through this challenging situation.
Understanding Your Friend’s Perspective 🤔
Your best friend’s wedding is a significant milestone in their life, filled with emotions, excitement, and joy. It’s natural for them to hope for your presence to share this momentous occasion. However, it’s crucial to recognize that everyone’s priorities and commitments differ, and sometimes tough choices have to be made.
Respecting Your Prior Commitments 🎤
Planning ahead is essential when it comes to scheduling events and commitments. In this case, you had booked tickets for a concert long before your friend finalized her wedding date. It’s important to honor the commitments you’ve made, especially when it involves non-refundable bookings and long-awaited plans. Communicating this clearly to your friend can help them understand your situation better.
Finding Common Ground 💖
While it may seem like a difficult situation, trying to find a middle ground can help bridge the gap between your friend’s expectations and your prior commitments. Exploring options like attending a pre-wedding celebration or organizing a special gesture to show your support can convey your love and care for your friend, even if you can’t attend the wedding itself.
Navigating Conflicting Emotions 🌟
Feelings of guilt, FOMO (fear of missing out), and disappointment may arise when faced with conflicting commitments. It’s essential to acknowledge these emotions and address them openly with your friend. Honest communication can pave the way for understanding, empathy, and mutual respect in navigating through this challenging situation.
Embracing Compromise and Understanding 🤝
In any friendship or relationship, compromises are inevitable, and understanding each other’s perspectives is key to maintaining strong bonds. While it’s understandable that your friend may feel hurt or disappointed, expressing your feelings and limitations can foster a deeper sense of understanding and empathy between both parties.
In conclusion, choosing a concert over your best friend’s wedding may seem like a tough decision, but it’s essential to prioritize your commitments and communicate openly with your friend. By approaching the situation with empathy, honesty, and respect, you can navigate through this dilemma while honoring your prior plans and cherished friendships. Remember, friendships thrive on understanding, compromise, and mutual support, even in challenging moments.
NTA and nothing lost when you don’t hear from her again. If your presence is that important she can pay all the cancellation fees and any other costs herself.
NTA. Obviously. Not sure what to add… Is anyone other than her disagreeing with you?
NTA I was going to say you were TA going from your title but she knew and if it was so important for her that you’re there she could’ve planned around you especially since it’s an extremely last minute wedding? Seriously wondering who married this last minute if it isn’t just a courthouse wedding. She shouldn’t be surprised when lost of other guests can’t attend as well due to her poor planning
NTA, Sounds like she is jealous of you attending the concert. She easily could’ve asked you in advance or made a plan but didn’t. Would this be a concert you two would go to together if your finance wasn’t going?
NTA
Wow – the entitlement. She had all of the data she needed to make an informed decision as to her wedding date and she made that decision regardless of knowing you weren’t available that weekend.
You know what they say about assuming. Shes the AH twice over for this.
You have to decide what you want to do. You made plans for this concert a year ago and spent quite a bit of money! I really don’t think you need to change your plans. I would tell my friend I was terribly busy and give her a gift. Go and enjoy the concert.
>I have booked tickets for the Eras tour in Milan almost 1 year in advance
Go and enjoy!! A missing guest will not affect her wedding unless it’s the groom! A wedding is a celebration of a couple’s love for each other. Really doesn’t have anything to do with who comes to watch the show.
NTA
NTA.
Under normal circumstances I’d say you should prioritize your best friend’s wedding over a concert. However, you made these plans over a year in advance and she knew about them.
Perhaps she wasn’t feeling the “best friend” vibe because you are seeing Taylor Swift without her? Is she jealous of you? Could she not get tickets or not afford them?? In any case she is the AH for not only scheduling her wedding at the same time, but also trying to force you to cancel your trip.
The solution is simple. Send your regrets, go to the concert, and get on with your life. She’s not worth it.
NTA. You’re not choosing a concert over her wedding. You planned an international trip with your partner a year ago, and your friend knew about it. She did it on purpose. It’s jealousy.
Unfortunately weddings are often used as ways for shitty friends to “test” their friends’ undying loyalty. Fortunately, it exposes self-centered narcissists. While sad, it’s best for you in the long run. Enjoy your trip. You’re not missing anything by not attending the wedding. If anything, she did you a favor by exposing her lack of consideration for others. And hey, you can always attend her next wedding after her soon-to-be husband figures this out.
NTA – you scheduled your trip first. She is allowed to be sad/upset that you can’t make her wedding, but it doesn’t make anyone an AH.
NTA you made your plans first and they involved flights and hotels so not so easy to cancel. This friendship might be over, but that would be because she can’t understand that she’s not the most important person in the universe, which is not your fault. You told her your dates and now she’s doing this weird power play where she wants you to choose her. She created this situation.
NTA. the truth is rather ironic – by saying ‘she didn’t care because as a friend she’d expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding’ she’s saying she doesn’t care about what you want, your plans, or your finances, and not only wouldn’t drop plans for something important to you, she wouldn’t even consider them. Basically, she doesn’t care about you.
Did she do it on purpose as a power move? Has she shown this sort of controlling or ‘prove your friendship to me’ behaviour before?
I’m so sorry – that’s extremely poor form on her part. Go to your concert and have a blast. There may well be other people she hasn’t considered, and you won’t be the only one she gets upset at if this is the type of attitude she has for her bf. Even if you did go, you’d resent it, she’d sense that, and it could spoil the day anyway and / or be held over you.
It’s not just about you either – she’s trying to ruin this for your fiance. Remember he’s affected by this too, so you’re not having to handle this based solely on your own commitments and feelings.
Weddings aren’t a golden ticket for servitude and glorification from everyone around you. She’s the AH.
>”she straight up told me that yes she knew but she didn’t care because as a friend she’d expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding.”
“She won’t speak to me now unless I send her proof that I’m cancelling everything to attend her wedding.”
NTA, she is for her attitude. Go to the concert and don’t feel bad about it (just like *she* doesn’t care).
I legit was ready to put Y T A based on the title but you planned this concert way in advance of her chosing the wedding date and she didn’t even bother discussing it with you before she booked over an out of town event she knew you already had for that date. Talk about being unreasonable.
NTA – I hope you enjoy the concert
NTA very manipulative of her, a friend wouldn’t do that and put you in that type of position on purpose just to make her feel superior. That’s not okay at all to treat another person like that. Go enjoy that CONCERT! ERA TOUR!!! I watched it on Disney plus AMAZINGGGG you’re lucky.
She’s doing this on purpose to test your loyalty. Do not fall for it and do not engage. Wish her the best wedding day without you and let her come to you when she grows up. NTA.
NTA. She knew, a year ago, you had this planned. If she was a good friend she wouldn’t expect you to lose a huge amount of money and drop this for her. Not saying she can’t have the wedding when she wants, she can, but she cant expect you to drop something you planned a year ago. If this is how she’s acting, maybe a break from her is well needed.
NTA. Good riddance.
NTA. You already had very expensive plans that you made far in advance. It’s a sucky situation, but you’re not the asshole. Your friend picked the date knowing you had these expensive plans and assuming you would drop them. She’s very rude and presumptuous.
NTA.
You already have plans that can’t reasonably be cancelled.
Jessy needs to realize that while her wedding is the most important thing right now to HER, it’s not the most important thing for everyone else. You had plans you can’t change. If she wants to end a friendship because you won’t be at her wedding, that’s on her. You’re NTA here.
“she straight up told me that yes she knew but she didn’t care because as a friend she’d expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding.”
This is why you’re NTA and your friend is the AH. It wasn’t accidental, it was deliberate. She knew full well when she chose that date that you weren’t available and is now demanding you drop your trip and eat the costs as a loyalty test.
She’s petty and vain. You’re not losing anything of value from your life.
NTA all the way. You made those plans before her wedding. She knew, she didn’t care. Enjoy the concert, and the drama-free trip!
NTA, because she knew and did not care. She does not have the right to expect you to skip something expensive you’ve already paid for – that is not a reasonable ask.
You don’t need friends like this.
NTA. As we get older we become busier, that is no one’s fault. it would be one thing if you had made these plans after her wedding date was confirmed, but that’s not the case here you are not at fault for having a life and not making yourself available 100% of the time
NTA. I’m not even that big a Taylor Swift fan – if at all – and hell, I’d be going to the gig over a wedding. Go and enjoy Milan – your mate can go whistle.
Enjoy the show. I wasn’t able to get tickets.
NTA.
NTA. You’ve had plans in place for a year. She knew it and picked that date anyway, which was pretty rude of her to just assume you’d drop all your plans for her wedding. You can’t go to the wedding, end of story.
NTA. This friendship is now over. She knew you paid all this money a year in advanced and had the nerve to just expect and assume you’d cancel to be at her wedding. Go to your concert and have a great time.
I don’t think your friend understand how long it takes to organize a wedding. We are in April and she just planned her wedding to July??? Poor soul.
NTA don’t cancel but I hope when she realizes she will need to change dates (or have a mental breakdown), she still invites you to her next date.
NTA – you booked it before she picked her date. she knew about it when she decided on her date. none of this is your fault.
also as someone who’s attended the eras tour as well as many weddings, i promise eras will be more fun
NTA. You didn’t decide to go to a concert instead of her wedding. She planned her wedding for when she knew you would be unavailable. That is on her, not you. I think this was a jealousy power move that backfired in her face.