#HelpNeeded – Hey there! So my wife and I recently stepped out of our introverted bubble to join a local gaming meetup group. It’s been a blast meeting like-minded people and chatting about our shared love for video games.
However, here’s where things get a little awkward – some members of our social circle keep dropping comments like, “I’d date your wife if you weren’t married to her!” It’s happened multiple times, and I’m starting to wonder how to handle it.
Our relationship is solid, we have two adorable dogs, and a happy life together. So, should I brush off these comments? Or should I address them tactfully? How would you handle this situation if you were in my shoes?
Drop your thoughts and advice below! Let’s navigate this together. 💬🔍 #RelationshipAdvice #SocialCircleDilemma #AwkwardComments #MarriageGoals
Another option, but not as mature as the guy above – “why? Is your SO not working for you?”
I think that‘s really weird and off putting. Maybe just a weird compliment, but definitely tell them you don‘t like when they say that. You can do so kindly, no need to immediately make a big deal out of it, but if they don‘t stop I‘d honestly rethink the friendship.
Personally I‘d get really annoyed with comments like that, one time fine, but doing it multiple times? Nah
It’s not polite, but probably not worth fighting about. I’d weigh it against how the group generally acts. If they’re otherwise polite I’d chalk it up to an awkward compliment.
If they keep going on about it, then you can softly call them on being weird. “Yeah, she’s awesome, Tom. You kind of mention this a lot. Should I be worried? Do I need to bring out the dueling pistols?”
Ehh maybe they think they are giving you a compliment. I wouldn’t take it too seriously.
Are you saying things about her body? Anything sexual? If you’re just saying things like you love her then it would be so weird for a guy to chime in and say he wants to have sex with her. If you are talking about sexually then stop. If you aren’t then find a different group of friends. That’s really weird.
Tell them while making a disgusted face:
“Unfortunately I can’t say the same about yours.”
awkward people say stupid shit like this. Be like the duck and let it roll off you back or firmly tell them that’s not appropriate.
I think that’s very awkward.
I’m sure you’re aware, and I think it’s worth considering, that those types of groups can attract people who struggle on the dating scene as an opportunity to build up confidence and interact with eligible peers in a fun low stakes context.
That doesn’t really have any bearing on your situation, but I’m wondering if a potentially high concentration of romantically awkward singles is a factor in how often this has happened.
I wouldn’t assume, but I also wouldn’t be shocked if some of these comments from women might be a way of gauging any potential openness to experimentation with alternate scenarios.
….are they all secretly one enormous polycule and they’re trying to induct y’all?
You and your wife do not like it, then as a Team set the boundary with the group. You can wait till someone says it again or if their is a group chat then post it there.
>I love my wife, and sometimes I’ll say positive things about her and then random folks will blurt out, “yeah, your wife is great, if you weren’t married to her, I’d date her!” or similar … How would you folks respond to these comments? Is it something you ignore? Do you tactfully ask them not to? Point out that it’s kind of odd and change topics?
I would just ignore it. Depending who said it, I might make a joke of it, and say, You’re not going to get a chance to date her! but it’s probably better just to ignore it.
Actually, it would be even better not to praise her in a way that invites such responses. Seriously, what are you hoping they will say? Your wife is great, but I would never date her?
Gonna assume this social circle is mostly guys that don’t get enough socialization with the opposite gender. I’d just let it go, they just need more female friends
I get told the same. I always say, “Fortunately for me her eye sight isn’t that good”