#CheatingWife #RelationshipAdvice #Infidelity #MarriageTroubles #Therapy #Divorce
Hey there! So, you’ve found yourself in a tough spot with your wife’s texts to a much younger guy. It’s definitely a situation that can leave you feeling hurt, confused, and unsure of what to do next. But don’t worry, I’m here to help you navigate through this tricky situation.
###Understanding the Situation
It’s important to take a step back and try to understand the full picture before making any decisions. Here are a few things to consider:
– The age gap between your wife and the guy.
– The extent of their relationship – were there just a few kisses or more?
– Your wife’s explanation and remorse.
– Your own feelings and whether you can forgive her.
###Communicate
Communication is key in any relationship, especially during tough times like this. Sit down with your wife and have an open and honest conversation about what happened. Here are a few things to discuss:
1. Ask her to explain the situation – why did she turn to this younger guy?
2. Express your feelings and how the texts made you feel.
3. Listen to her side of the story without jumping to conclusions.
4. Discuss the next steps – therapy, counseling, or any other possible solutions.
###Seek Support
Dealing with infidelity can be emotionally draining and overwhelming. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Here are a few ways to find support:
– Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what you’re going through.
– Consider individual therapy to process your emotions and make sense of the situation.
– Couples therapy could also be beneficial to work through the issues together.
###Decide on the Next Steps
After talking things through and seeking support, it’s time to make a decision on how to move forward. Here are a few options to consider:
– Forgiveness and working on rebuilding trust in the relationship.
– Taking a break to think things through and assess your feelings.
– Considering divorce if you feel like the trust is irreparably broken.
###Final Thoughts
Remember, every relationship is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to handling infidelity. Take your time to process your feelings, communicate openly with your wife, and seek support where needed. Ultimately, the decision on how to proceed lies in your hands.
I hope this article has provided you with some clarity and guidance on how to handle this difficult situation. Stay strong, take care of yourself, and remember that you deserve happiness and respect in your relationship. Good luck! 💔🤝 #RelationshipAdvice #Infidelity #Therapy #MarriageTroubles
They definitely had sex she was just smart enough not to text about it. I would leave her personally once you cheat once you will do it again. All forgiving her will do is enable bad behavior. And they also work together so I doubt you will have any control what happens there at all.
Leave her bro, once a cheater always a cheater
Nothing will ever change that the trust is gone. No matter how much you try you’ll never trust her again. Time to go.
Get rid of her. It’s a self respect thing, she has to go.
Take a couple days off and go on a trip.
Then tell her everything is fine.
Start planning your exit. Plan in detail with a lawyer.
Do it on your terms.
How do you feel towards her? Take some time alone to really think about the relationship. Does it feel like she’s crossed a line that you can never forgive her? To me it’s about whether any trust remains in your relationship / you think there can be again. I’d be leaning towards leaving like someone else said, going forward the relationship is a bit tainted. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Handle what? The relationship is down the drain already. Leave and don’t look behind.
she broke the relationship. file for divorce. act like you’re chill about it and like you’ll get over it look up every half decent divorce lawyer within a 2 hour drive and have a consult with them. once you consult with them they can’t take your wife as a client. this may seem evil but it’s important so that you don’t get fucked in the divorce. hope you heal from this and i’m sorry. take care of yourself
Kiss her goodbye. You deserve better. There was probably more than just kissing, or more would have happened if you hadn’t found out. Life is full of opportunities, and you’re still young. Go find someone else.
Such a similar thing happened to me with my fiancé. Dated for 4 years. Engaged for 4 months. Got distant. Found out she kissed someone. Swore it meant nothing and it was a mistake. We break up and less than a week later they are on ig together. These people will say anything to get out of responsibilities. It’s over.
It’s not working out. Time to move on. Whatever caused her to do this, will cause her to do it again. This kind of behavior doesn’t just happen and go away.
Yeah. She’s going to avoid someone she works with?
She mistreated you for a month while cheating on you. I’ve seen this movie before. The harder you try to make this work, the harder she will break your heart. Intentionally or not
Save proof she cheated for the lawyer….
Save screenshots of her chats. Send them to your phone as evidence.
Start preparing divorce papers, using her infidelity as the means.
Move in silence until you are ready to leave.
Im single so maybe not the best to give advice, however I think the fact you don’t have kids or shared properties with this woman is a blessing, means way less baggage if you break it off with her. Which you should since clearly she doesn’t respect you enough to communicate about issues she was having, instead she went behind your back and (most likely) slept with another man.
If she’s not moving heaven and earth to show you how much she regrets it and how much she loves you, then start proceedings immediately, if she is then maybe take a while to see if this is something you can get past, some people can and some people can’t. But ask yourself if you would ever trust her again, or if you would be going through her phone in the future to check on her. You don’t need to live like that if you don’t want to.
The other guy age sounds like the smallest problem, if they had sex or not sounds irrelevant to me.
I don’t think she become distant and dismissive because of the new guy, I thing something else happened that make her like that and making out with the new guy was just another result of that thing.
If you don’t know how it started, what made her feel bad enough with you to take the risk of seeing another person, it will be hard to fix.
And if you find the source of the problem, you still have to decide if you can forgive her.
But I believe it is important to understand how it all started, what made her go as far as this, starting a relationship with another person is not something that just happens overnight, it’s a series of things that end up like that.
Good luck man!
I went through almost the same thing with my first marriage. I should have ended it then but instead I wanted to try and save the marriage which lead to the worst 6 months of my life. Turned out she had done much more than I first became aware of.
Make her think you forgive her and want to move on. Simultaneously you are going to get your shit together, find a good lawyer and drop it on her when she least expects it. That way you can try to keep as much as possible in the divorce. Don’t fall for the “mutual” trap, divorces get really ugly really fast and the more prepared you are the better.
First of all, this is not a reflection on you. There’s nothing you did or didn’t do to justify this.
Secondly, while I wouldn’t be able to get over the cheating itself (kissing? Even if it was just kissing, that’s cheating), the age thing is something I wouldn’t be able to come back from. Maybe he’s 21, maybe he’s younger than that, but even a single 35yo has no business pursuing someone that young. That boy might think it’s hot to pull an older married woman, but she should know better. I would lose a lot of respect for her, and the root of love, for me, is respect so there’d be no coming back from that.
Sounds like you want to get a divorce since your first few sentences were focused on lack of joint assets and no dependents.
I wanna preface this by saying I absolutely love my wife. She is perfect in every sense of the word. She’s smart, a hard worker, creative, fun, a great mother, beautiful. All you could ask for. If she ever cheated on me, it’s instantly done. The biggest thing in our relationship that makes the cogs work is honesty and communication. You take that away, there is no relationship. I’m an adult that respects himself. The only games I play are on consoles.
Go to therapy together, don’t lock the door yet.
The cheating is bad. But I’m with you on the who it’s with being an even bigger red flag. This isn’t a coworker that she’s gradually built a relationship with over time. This is her subordinate employee who’s so young that his prefrontal cortex isn’t even developed yet, and that she hasn’t even employed for more than a few months. Why is this kind of power imbalance so attractive to her that she’s willing to throw away her marriage for it so quickly?
I know everyone here is saying dump her, but first have a heart to heart w her. Something caused her to kiss the dude. Is it that she felt you guys lost a connection due to busy working hours or she’s missing something in the relationship?
But if you love her, first have a heart to heart. Put your hurt feelings to the side and see if she can explain her actions. And then figure out as a couple what changes you need to make in life to get back to loving each other
Next, (assuming there’s a reason to try to make this work) ask her how she’s going to remove herself from the situation? If they both work at the same place, that is too awkward for everyone involved. Is she going to get a different job? If she claims she will be fine just not talking to him, that’s bs. I don’t buy it. She’s a manager and he’s an employee….can’t ignore your employees.
If you see that she’s willing to work these things out, then it’s your call. Do you still love her, do you want it to work? If so, work on it. If not, move on.
She didn’t have sex with him…yet. That’s obviously what it was leading up to before you caught her. Time to leave.
How much do you love her? How much do you think your relationship is worth fighting for. Maybe try asking her these questions. You’re at an inflection point so be really honest about what you want and THEN decide.
You’re fortunate to not have kids with this woman.
You’re also fortunate to be young in your 30s. Leave her and work on yourself, and you will have prospects from low 20s to high 30s. So many options bro.
The main question is, why did she do it? There’s a reason she hasn’t told you probably. Is she not fully fulfilled? Does she not like xyz? Then handle it from there
Maybe you should have a conversation about desire, what you want your life together to look like and if you are both fulfilled in your relationship. Monogamy is not the only way to truly love someone. In the end it’s just holding your face agains someone else’s and not a true partnership. Isn’t there anything else you would like to experience yourself?
If they work together, they can’t exactly stop speaking to each other, and the temptation will be there, as will your distrust. Have you asked her what prompted her to kiss him in the first place? If not, that might be something to bring up in couples therapy. For me personally, cheating is cheating. Regardless of what they did, the intent was there and I know I wouldn’t be able to trust my spouse working with this person. Can you forgive and forget? Can you trust her going forward? If there is any doubt, divorce might be your best option.
While you shouldn’t think of people as a thing that is broken after they break your trust once, it’s almost impossible to come back from that…. It’s going to be on you to regain trust in her only “because you want to” (if you think it’s on her to earn it, that’s wishful thinking and won’t happen, she would need to walk on eggshells for you and the tension will eat you both) and that is quite a feat very few can handle.