#Infidelity #MarriageIssues #RelationshipAdvice #CheatingSpouse #HandlingBetrayal
Hey there! 😊 Finding out that your spouse has been texting with someone else, especially a much younger individual, can be a tough pill to swallow. But before you make any hasty decisions, let’s dive deeper into the situation and explore some ways to handle it.
### Trust Your Gut Feeling
* Trust your instincts when it comes to dealing with infidelity in a marriage.
* It’s important to address the issue head-on and not sweep it under the rug.
### Communicate Openly
* Sit down with your wife and have an open and honest conversation about what you discovered.
* Express your feelings and listen to her side of the story without jumping to conclusions.
### Seek Counseling
* Consider seeking the help of a professional counselor to navigate through this challenging time.
* Counseling can provide a safe space to communicate effectively and work through trust issues.
### Self-Reflection
* Take some time to reflect on your feelings of inadequacy and how this situation has impacted you.
* Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from loved ones.
### Forgiveness and Moving Forward
* Forgiveness is a process that takes time and effort from both parties.
* If you decide to work on the relationship, set boundaries and establish trust gradually.
Drawing wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita, we can find guidance in understanding that challenges and hardships are part of life’s journey. By facing adversity with courage and seeking inner strength, we can overcome obstacles and grow through our experiences.
Ultimately, the decision to stay in the marriage or pursue a divorce is a personal one that only you can make. Take the time you need to process your emotions and consider seeking guidance from trusted sources. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.
Stay strong and take care of yourself during this difficult time. 💪🌟
For more advice on handling relationship issues and navigating difficult conversations, visit our website for additional resources and support. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. You’re not alone in this journey. #StayStrong #RelationshipSupport
By addressing the situation with patience and understanding, you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Wishing you all the best on your path to healing and growth. 🌺💕
She’s a cheater. Also, her being his boss is a huge abuse of power.
>Should I fill for divorce
Yes.
You are an 33yrs engineer who work hard, you will find another partner easily.
Well op if it were me, I would say go live the life with him, and we are divorcing. But to me op you are not thinking like this so. Then say, or you can quit your job, tell your parents what you have done to the foundation of this marriage, apologize to me in front of my parents and remove yourself from all forms of social media. No more going out with friends, and when they ask you tell them the truth. You are working on fixing this marriage, because you were cheating on me.
Quitting the job, and telling family, shows she is willing to choose you over her job and reputation. This needs to happen in reconciliation l. Trust also needs to be reestablished.
But really op, do you think it was just kissing?
Has she offered any explanation as to why? Any suggestions on how this is not going to happen again?
If contact continues the affair continues. You want her employed in case of divorce but if you attempt to reconcile she needs to leave that job.
That’s wildly inappropriate on so many levels, and so disrespectful to you. Divorce her
She is a cheater and abused her position of power. Is that the woman you fell in love with? Is that the woman you want to stay with?
Dude.. They had sex, like c’mon 🤦
Divorce her she’s a cheater
A few kisses is still cheating. Add to it being distant and dismissive and the fact that if you have not discovered it early enough, chances are she would’ve slept with him. Can you trust her after this?
So it wasn’t one kiss, but a few. And that’s nothing? That’s fucking gross. His germs are in your mouth dude. Divorce her. Let her abuse her position of power on some other highschooler.
It’s a little concerning that she is only admitting to the things you have direct evidence of.
It’s been a month since she became dismissive, and they only kissed? Do you believe her?
Assuming you do, do not rug sweep this a just a kiss, she needs to go NC with the kid, and if that means she has to quit and find a new job, then she has to. She should come clean at work as well. Get into MC to see if you can improve communication and restore trust.
If you don’t deal with this properly through MC and get to why and what to do about it, you’re in for more pain in the future.
A few kisses that would have led to a few fucks if you hadn’t caught her. I could never stay with someone who disrespected me like this. She’s sorry she got caught that’s all. Instead of coming to you to work on your marriage she preys on the new 21 year old waiter. No, she needs to be gone from your life.
Adults don’t just kiss
She’ll “stop talking to him?”
Dude. DUDE. The correct answer is “I abused my power and cheated with a subordinate, I am resigning and will find a new job while I work on saving this marriage.”
Her answer was “I’ll stop talking to him, the employee I manage…and look, we haven’t had sex yet”
I’d be on the phone with a divorce lawyer already.
If they had sex or not does not matter , She is a cheater .
Yes You should fill for divorce . If you dont do that she never respect you as before thats how female is what they say is BS ..
Divorce and tech her the lesson .
UpdateMe!
Dude, time to get out. And I doubt it was actually ‘just a few kisses’, regardless of what they THOUGHT they could get you to believe. She’s not loyal to your marriage. If she’s cheating on you, and, yes, she out and out cheated on you, then it’s over. Divorce her.
Once they start down the path of infidelity it’s over. To get to the cheating point you can’t back it out with damage.
So, yes it’s time to contact a lawyer and start the process.
This isn’t her first rodeo and to mess with a high schooler what kind of person is she? Someone you don’t know anymore……
The fact that you started this post by explaining how little time you get to spend with her makes me think that you’re already rationalizing why she cheated in your head. That’s not okay, there is never a good excuse to cheat.
I think couple’s and individual therapy would be a good idea, before you jump to divorce. I saw your comment saying your emotions are too much rn, therapy can really help you see things more clearly.
The fact that she cheated with her subordinate is a whole other issue, morally. There’s a power imbalance there that you should definitely address with her.
Bro… Kick her ass out. Let him have her. She violated your trust and your marriage. Call a lawyer and start today.
There is SO MUCH of a bigger better world out there with people who have decent morals and self control. She WILL try to come back. Be a better version of yourself when she does and STILL don’t take her back.
We’ll see you in the gym or on the BJJ mats brother!
A few kisses always comes with a fool hand 🖐️ right down there. 👇. Bro, it’s up to you. For me, it’s over.
My guy, you need to show her you won’t be walked all over and disrespected. You have to gather and retain evidence and talk to an attorney about your options and file for divorce. This is most likely not the only guy she’s done or doing this shit with. Let her boy toy have her, and see if he can provide like you do.
1. Only you can answer that question but imo:
A) don’t act in the emotion of it
B) if there’s a way to get a copy of their messages you can do that and take time to review them and see if she’s lying – you stated she texted him to show u they hadn’t slept together – but is there something in the messages that says otherwise…
C) talk to a lawyer so you know what your options are and what it would look like – could even talk to a few
D) talk to a therapist – they are non judgemental third party with no incentive in whether u 2 stay together or go your separate ways.
E) try to refrain from telling family and friends for now – everyone will have an opinion it could make things more complicated if u leave or if you 2 stay together so the fewer number of variables imo is easier to deal with
At the end of the day only you know what you can work to move past if you try it will take time and genuine effort on both parts. Best of luck.
No property, no kids, limited time together, dismissive (disrespectful behaviour) – cheating.
One thing that I noticed as well – you blame yourself for not being around on your job. All restaurant managers I know are working a lot in the evening. So I doubt it is your fault.
I could not see a single thing that keeps you together.
I suggest you file for divorce. You will never trust her again. She would need to stop her job – and probably you as well. This will never work.
She is lying. She has been cheating on you for weeks and she has done more than kiss that young man. Your wife will only confess to what she thinks you only know. Her crying has nothing to do with her cheating. She got caught and the tears are for show. Don’t fall for it.
I’m not saying divorce her just know that you’re married to a lying cheat.
This is a highly personal decision. Only you know if you will ever be able to forgive her and trust her again
If I were in your shoes, I would file for divorce. Relationships need a foundation of trust and respect, and by breaking both I wouldn’t feel I was with the right person. However, my best friend stayed with her husband after finding out he had an affair all throughout her pregnancy bc she recognized that she had become dismissive and distant and had fed into his insecurities. I still would have left, bc I need a partner who can communicate rather than cheat – but she didn’t need that
As a side note, you brought up the age difference twice. This is triggering something within your own insecurities. Do you know what it is? If not, do some reflecting. I mean, I get it to an extent – I think of 21 year olds as still children, so perhaps there’s some of that, but I noticed you’re younger than your wife, and wonder if that plays into your issue with his age, too… At the end of the day what matters is that she kissed (and texted about the kissing) a man who wasn’t her husband. And by the way, this is just to help you learn and grow as a person – it likely won’t have any bearing on whether you stay with her or not. It’s just a good practice to discover why certain things bother us
Regardless of what you choose, you didn’t deserve for her to kiss someone else. Focus on positive self care for a bit, and good luck with whatever you choose!
She is a predator and a cheater. And she is not going to change, ever. Also please let your social circles know after leaving. I am sure your friends and relatives wouldn’t want their children anywhere near her.
I just saw this on one of those crime TV wives with knives murder confession shows. I would watch your back and don’t eat anything she prepares for you, also check your car for tracking devices. Stay frosty
She only cried because she got caught. Unless she confessed first (although in reality it’s only up to you whether you can handle this betrayal), this marriage is unsalvageable and is now doomed. You’ll only resent her more and will probably never trust her again. So instead of this thing eating you up in the future and delaying the inevitable, just file for divorce.
Also, the part about only kissing might be a trickle truth, you’ll never know (maybe). Divorce!
What does her texting him prove? He’s the side dude. He knows his role. He’s fk’ing the boss. You don’t think he’s gonna say what he needs to say to keep it under wraps?
She’s lying about no sex
If you want to stay together she needs to do 100% of the work: get a new job yesterday and give you 100% access to devices and accounts. She should also write you a letter admitting to everything and a timeline. If there’s issues she can be the one to find a marriage counselor.
Poor her. She only felt bad after you found out, before that she was talking about how good the kisses were. But she’s certainly suffering, and she’s very sorry (that she didn’t delete the messages). Poor thing, she must be suffering a lot at the moment.
If you like being with a cheater, stay.
She probably feels flustered that a younger guy likes her. Divorce and let her lie in the bed she’s made.
Walk away