DivorceAdvice #RelationshipIssues #MarriageHelp
Hey everyone! 🌟 I’m in a really tough spot and could really use your thoughts. So here’s the deal: I’ve been married for almost 9 years and just found out some shocking news that’s made me question everything.
The other day, my husband (30M) got caught red-handed—his cousin reached out to me with some pretty damning screenshots. It turns out he was begging her for nudes and even went as far as paying her for them! 💔 And get this: he made me send her the money under the guise of a ‘family emergency’ while we are struggling just to fill our gas tank. I feel utterly betrayed and disgusting.
Now I’m at a crossroads. My instincts are screaming at me to walk away from this marriage, but my mom is suggesting that this might be something we could fix. That leaves me feeling even more conflicted.
Here are some pain points I’m grappling with:
- Trust Issues: How can I ever trust him again after this?
- Financial Decisions: I can’t believe he prioritized paying for something so humiliating over our basic needs.
- Emotional Betrayal: This makes me question his love and commitment.
So, is this kind of betrayal fixable? 🤔 How should I approach this conversation without causing a major explosion? I was ready to confront him head-on, but now I’m reconsidering thanks to my mom’s advice.
What do you think? Here are some things I’m pondering:
- Open Communication: Is it worth sitting down for a heart-to-heart before making any big decisions?
- Seeking Counseling: Could couples therapy help us navigate this pain together?
- Setting Boundaries: What should I lay down as non-negotiables if we try to move forward?
Please share your experiences, tips, or any wisdom you may have. Has anyone else faced a similar situation? How did you handle it? I want to hear your thoughts! 💬
Thanks so much for listening! 🥺💖
Holy shit that is absolutely disgusting. Not just cheating but with his cousin. Immediate divorce for me. Thats is depraved. I’m so sorry OP.
17 and 21?? You got married when you were 17 and he were 21!?
Girl you cannot have someone out there embarrassing you like this and call him your husband. Your mom has a very stupid opinion, seems like she’d rather have you humiliated and married than I guess her “humiliated” because of her child’s divorce? I know some traditional people can be really weird about that. Regardless you only have one life and you should not spend it with someone who has no regard for you.
A lot of our parents come from a generation where divorce was considered the worst thing ever and they would tolerate anything (cheating, abuse, neglect etc) just so they didn’t have to divorce. They were conditioned to tolerate it and never stand up for themselves. Just bc your mom gave you some advice (bad advice in my opinion) doesn’t mean you have to take it. You’re old enough to make your own decisions and it’s up to you to decide if you want to live with this every day for the rest of your life or not.
Your mother is wrong on this one. That guy is a pig.
That’s disgusting, sorry. His behavior isn’t going to change he’ll just get better at hiding it.
Eww, no it’s not fixable. He’s gross. 🤮
Just the fact that it’s his cousin that he asked for nudes in the first place is an immediate red flag. Second of all, he knows you are struggling but still willing to pay for a family members nudes, just me typing that out sounds creepy!
I would confront him about it and listen to his side of the story and go from there, but I believe this would call an immediate divorce.
pay for nudes from girlies expect your wife to file for divorcies
This can’t be real
That is considered cheating. My lawyer said the same thing for this type of situation. I would leave.
why would you want to fix this
this isn’t just cheating this is INCEST! the lowest of the low. not only that he lied to you and tricked you into YOU paying for her nudes. GET OUT NOW or your future kids could be the next victims
Yake!
Dont listen to those who focus on apparences rather your well being. He betrayed you and that’s it! If your daughter was in your place what will you have say to her?
If you want to leave then leave,follow your guts only.
So find a lawyer,prepare your leaving,don’t listen to those who wants you to suck it up and be surrounded who is there for you! Find a therapist and start your healing
Don’t walk, run .
Absolutely cheating and either family just takes it to a sick level imo
Get out of marriage asap
Mothers are not always the most wiser people around us. One day I told my mom I broke up because he was lying to me. My moms advice: “No one is perfect, you are so picky you will end up alone.”
Now 5 years later I moved countries and I’m married to the most decent human being, love of my life. If I had listened to her advice I would be f* by now.
He is the one who didn’t care about your marriage and on top of that made YOU to send her money for his nudes. That’s disgusting. Walk away, you deserve way more than that. ❤️
You let it slide it will happen again he did it with his cousin you can’t trust him with family he’s disgusting
If it was my spouse I couldn’t look at him again
Hang on before I answer let me just whip out my calculator real quick aaaand.. what the fuck
Is your mom mentally ill? I can’t understand why she thinks it’s OK to pay for nudes from a RELATIVE?
If you stay with your husband he’s going to grow into being the creepy uncle that no one talks about and that they don’t leave alone with the young girls in the family. Your husband is a creep. Divorce him.
Leave! If he’s willing to do that with a cousin, especially someone you know, what is he up to with strangers? If you don’t find out, how long would he have gone on? Just leave… you’re always going to be wondering, and it will drive you crazy, make you seem crazy and make you feel insecure. I know it’s tough, but you need to respect yourself, and you don’t need to deal with that! Leave!!!
Wow, mom has a low opinion of you: she thinks a lousy marriage is more important than your self-respect. I’d go for the divorce. Yes – nudes, from a cousin!!! Also – put his needs – nudes – before the family – gas. No one needs that.