#RelationshipIssues #CommunicationBreakdown #HangryMoments
Are you often left feeling frustrated and neglected when your partner’s work schedule gets in the way of your plans? You’re not alone. Many individuals face similar challenges when trying to balance family life and career commitments. In this article, we’ll delve into a common scenario where dinner plans are disrupted by work obligations, leaving you wondering if you’re in the wrong. Let’s explore ways to navigate this situation and communicate effectively with your partner.
## Understanding the Frustration
👩💼 As a working mom, balancing family responsibilities can be overwhelming. When your husband’s work takes precedence over your planned dinner date, it’s natural to feel disappointed and neglected. The constant back-and-forth of canceled plans can leave you feeling unappreciated and undervalued, leading to built-up frustration and resentment.
## Finding Common Ground
🍽️ Communication is key in any relationship. Expressing your feelings calmly and openly can help bridge the gap between conflicting schedules. Set aside time to discuss expectations and boundaries with your partner to avoid misunderstandings in the future. Acknowledge each other’s commitments and try to find a compromise that works for both of you.
## Establishing Boundaries
🕒 It’s essential to set boundaries and communicate your needs effectively. If your partner’s work schedule frequently interferes with your plans, express your concerns and discuss ways to prioritize quality time together. Setting realistic expectations and establishing a clear line of communication can prevent misunderstandings and reduce tension in your relationship.
## Self-Care Matters
🧘♀️ Remember to prioritize self-care and address your feelings of frustration. It’s okay to prioritize your well-being and set boundaries when needed. Practice self-compassion and seek support from friends or a therapist to navigate challenging situations effectively.
In conclusion, it’s essential to address feelings of frustration and communicate openly with your partner to navigate conflicting schedules successfully. By setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and fostering effective communication, you can overcome challenges and strengthen your relationship. Remember, you deserve to feel valued and respected in your relationship. #RelationshipGoals
NTA. Your husband needs to communicate with you more clearly about plans he already agreed to.
Both have attitude
I get why you sniped back but a relationship doesnt survive on sniping
The move here was . Send him a msg around 9:20 saying i get youre busy at shop. Lets change the plans and say such plan
Either get food and meet him at shop or throw him a msg, sorry seems its not a good. Night and youre busy, i grabbed food myself.
NTA but still kinda shitty.
Your partner screwed up and seems to have a history of it. You however threw a tantrum. It seems a structural communication issue that must be resolved at some point. He likely feels stressed and there may be financial issues you are not quite aware of. I don’t know how involved you are. The solution is communication not cruel acts. Perhaps he needs to realize he can’t make promises like that.
Nta
INFO: hold up… do you two go out to dinner and leave your kids home alone in bed?!
>suggested that we go out around 9PM
I don’t get why this was the plan. You know the shop doesn’t typically close til 10pm. Why would you make plans that involve closing early? INFO
NTA. You communicated your plans and availability, but your husband didn’t follow through or communicate effectively. It’s understandable that you got frustrated, especially considering you were hungry and had made arrangements. It’s important for both partners to respect each other’s time and commitments.
Seems reasonable to me.
NTA
I don’t know why people are being hard on you. If he can close the shop early, then why didn’t he do that? When you called him at 8:30 and said you were ready, he could have turned around the sign on the door to say “closed” and just let customers who were already in there finish up their coffee, and then he could have closed the shop in peace. It sounded like he made plans with you, told you he was closing the shop, and then just didn’t.
On the other hand, if he CANNOT close the shop, why didn’t he just say that, so you could make your dinner earlier than 9:30 pm? And finding out, after the fact, that the reason he was late was that his relatives stopped by, is even worse. He is just stringing you along, expecting you to wait for him hungry during the dinner hour, while he keeps changing his plans based on whatever whim he has.
I think he needs to do what he says he is going to do, and stop stringing you along. If what he is going to do is, “Sorry, I can never close the shop early because I just really need the customers” then that is completely fine. You can plan around it! But telling you one thing and then doing something totally different, is not ok for him to do.
NTA
Dude works in a coffee shop. How difficult is it to stop and respond to a msg?
He isn’t performing open heart surgery, he isn’t directing traffic during rush hour, he isn’t litigating a case in court.
He’s making coffee… Starbucks employees only need to have the attention span of a goldfish to work there…
I have a family member just like this. Will never answer then complain about making decisions because they didn’t answer. The answer is always ‘I was working’ as if their job is so important they can’t stop for a min. It’s hilarious to me.
You would think after how many times this occurs, the person would change, right?
NTA
While I was leaning towards N A H, as hey, sometimes stuff happens. It sounds like this happens often (him working later than planned). Also, it’s rude to expect you to wait for hours without any communication and then blow up on you when you got tired of waiting and just ate. I, for one, would NOT be happy about waiting until 9 or 10 to eat dinner. I like to eat by 7 at the latest.
NTA I think it’s time to have another conversation and set some rules that will balance these types of situations. For example: Hubby, I understand that things come up and our plans may have to be modified. However, I would really appreciate it when you see something that’s going to cause a delay, to let me know. It doesn’t feel good not knowing what’s going on and i get agitated.
Life happens and plans change. Communication and a willingness to adjust on both ends will help you progress in a positive direction in your marriage.
It takes time to change and adjust behaviors.
NTA if he offers to go for dinner with you at 9:00 PM, meaning he’s closing early as he’s a grown man who knows his business hours before he made the offer. Then at 8:30 PM, when he has a customer either he tells the customer he’s closing early (which he should have advertised) or he cancels with you – the minimal thing is to send you an update at 9 saying sorry but you’re canceling. I mean, you could have as well but no communication when he was the one who scheduled with you?
I’m gonna say ESH/NAH
This is a communication issue due to the logistics/inconsistencies of your husband’s work schedule. Y’all need to sit down and TALK and figure out a solution to this recurring problem that works for both of you.
NTA. He offered to take you out for dinner, he AGREED 9.00pm with you. Then some family members rocked up and he just…. forgot you were waiting at home? With, as HE had said earlier, “no food in the house”. Yeah, this one’s on him.
>He got upset and said that I should be more understanding bcs he was working but he does this so much that I don’t want to deal with it anymore
You’d have been understanding that he was working but that’s not what the problem was. The problem was that he insisted on making dinner plans with you and unilaterally changed the plans without communicating to you, making you wait to eat. It’s apparently a reoccurring issue that he’s disrespectful of your time and needs while demanding that you respect his time and needs. From here on out, he has a 5 minute grace period before you just do whatever you need to do. If he’s late, that’s on him. If he’s not in communication with you, that’s on him.
NTA
He asked to make plans, then flakes on the plans without letting you know. The least he could do was reply to your texts.
I’d be hangry AF by 9.30 lol
Info… Why does your husband keep a COFFEE shop open until 10… Do you have a large population of night shift workers in your area???
NTA. Your husband is inconsiderate of your time and responsibilities and is trying to make you feel guilty for holding him accountable. If does this repeatedly he isn’t being considerate at all. He needs to learn that it’s better to admit he can’t follow through on something than to leave you hanging.
If he works until 10, then you can’t go to dinner that night. This all could have been avoided if your husband actually stuck to his own set hours.
NTA. I would’ve done the same. My issue is that “he does this all the time” and he only replied to you once you cancelled dinner. Sounds like you two have communication issues you need to work out
NTA Why respect someone who doesn’t respect you?
NTA
He made a dinner date then bailed. He should have got staff in to cover the coffee shop.
And in any case he promised to close early, you were starving who wants to go out and eat after 10pm.
NTA. Communication! It’s very easy. Hey, going forward, “I do not want to wait all night to eat. Once you know by a certain time that you can’t get away, just let me know. I can bring food to you, or we can cancel. ” Very easy
NTA – He’s the one that suggested going out. He agreed to the 9pm time frame, yet at 9:30pm is still at work without even sending a courtesy text that he’s running late. It is not unreasonable to have wanted to eat dinner by this time of the night.
Nta
ESH – He didn’t answer you back because he was working with a customer. I understand how that’s frustrating when you already made plans. It’s odd you both made plans for before the shop closes without a backup plan.
That said, your reaction isn’t how you treat a romantic partner if you want to maintain a positive life together. You could have let him know that you’re going to get food yourself and that the dinner plans can be rearranged without turning it into a negative thing where you’re both upset. Sometimes life happens, and it’s okay to he flexible with plans.
Have you tried talking to him about how you feel when you mention he does this “all of the time”? Have you ever actually sat down and discussed these issues on a full stomach? Being “hangry” isn’t an excuse to treat people poorly.
Am I the only one who wants to know who the hell is watching the kids while they go out? They are 24 and 25, I doubt the kids are old enough to be home alone unless they became parents in middle school. Oh, and ESH. Both of your communication sucks and he shouldn’t make plans for before he closes his shop.
My dad used to do this all the time to my mom. I grew up watching her wait up for him every night. Still wish she would divorce him lol. NTA
NTA. Here is why: I am a small business owner and while my biz is more of a flexible schedule, I don’t make plans with my partner that I don’t intend to keep. He could have put a sign on the door about closing early. He didn’t actually follow through with his plans. That isn’t okay. He never should have agreed to or suggested it unless he was willing to take steps to actually follow through. This is on him. He needs to be more proactive and not roll the dice on having no customers at that given moment.
Common courtesy is to respond to you nothing is sore important not to respond. He got what he deserves maybe he will learn to communicate better he sounds selfish
NTA
I’ve worked food service many years, I find it hard to believe he didn’t have 20 seconds to send a text in all that time to just let you know “sorry babe gotta cancel plans” which it sounds like is all you wanted.
NTA.
I’m going to assume that its less about dinner and more about reliability. He gave you a time line then couldn’t keep it, then failed to let you know what was happening. He has shown himself to be unreliable to keep a schedule when it involves you, even when he sets the schedule.
I understand why you were upset and decided to just eat at home.
Your husband expecting you to wait til 10pm just to eat dinner with him is insane honestly.
Maybe everyone could stop trying to assume this mom is negligent/abusive? Lol Jesus
Info – why didn’t you go pick up food and bring it to the coffee shop? He said he still had a customer so he couldn’t leave/close early. He thought maybe that would be the case, but clearly wasn’t going to be, and the shop is generally open until 10 p.m.
ESH – I think there were other options here aside from sniping at each other. If there was food in the house, as you clearly fed your Dad and child, then you could have HAD A SNACK to tide you over until the shop closed at 10 p.m., then gone out to eat. He probably could have texted sooner.
YTA. He’s working. You’re acting like a toddler
Do you like having an income? The man is trying to make a small business work. There is a lot of sacrifice running a small business. You have unrealistic expectations if you think running one is 9-5. Get an appetizer be supportive and stop being self important. He most likely felt bad he couldn’t be there and tantrum really does not help things. Definitely “Assholish”
As a business owner. Sometimes you aren’t available to take care of personal business. Or the needs of business interrupt personal life sometimes.
I’ve dealt with people. And a girlfriend that has made those actions and statements. Where if they aren’t appeased to right away. They throw bitch fits. And it kinda sounds like that’s what you did. To say your go pay gonna eat and egg and go to sleep. You were being spiteful.
Either way.
YTA.
Please learn to be understanding not everyone runs on your timetable