#relationshipdrama #exproblems #AITA #giftsfromex #movingon
Facing the Dilemma
So, you find yourself in a tricky situation – your ex-girlfriend bought you a gift, but after a rocky relationship filled with betrayal and hurtful comments, you decided to sell it. Now, you’re wondering if you made the right choice or if you’re in the wrong. Let’s break it down.
Emotions Running High
First off, it’s completely understandable to have mixed emotions in this situation. Betrayal and hurt can cloud our judgment and make us act in ways we might not usually consider. But it’s essential to remember that your feelings are valid, and you have every right to prioritize your healing and well-being.
Practical Solutions
Here are some practical solutions to navigate through this challenging scenario:
- Self-Care Comes First: Remember to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being above all else. Your healing process is essential, and it’s okay to take actions that support your journey towards closure.
- Setting Boundaries: It’s crucial to set boundaries with your ex and mutual friends to protect yourself from any further emotional distress. Blocking toxic individuals and surrounding yourself with supportive friends like ‘Amy’ can make a significant difference in your healing process.
- Handling Gifts: When it comes to gifts from an ex-partner, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. While some people choose to return gifts at the end of a relationship, others may opt to keep or sell them for various reasons. What matters most is your intentions and how you handle the situation moving forward.
- Show Empathy: While it’s understandable that you sold the gift to distance yourself from painful memories, consider your ex’s perspective as well. Perhaps a simple conversation or gesture of returning the gift could provide closure for both parties and promote healing.
Final Thoughts
Remember, relationships can be complicated, and there’s no definitive right or wrong when it comes to navigating post-breakup situations. Trust yourself to make decisions that align with your values and well-being, and always prioritize self-care and healing above all else.
Stay strong, stay true to yourself, and know that brighter days are ahead. You deserve peace and happiness in your journey of moving on from the past.
NTA. A gift is a gift! You do with it what you please.
NTA
A gift doesn’t come with strings attached, this isn’t an engagement ring there is no moral obligation to return this gift
Not sure why telling us you have a smaller pecker is relevant but hey if you want to tell the world that you do you
NTA you can do whatever you want with your stuff
NTA. She cheated. She isn’t entitled to an opinion about your choices.
And that reason she cited, it’s absolute BS. She could have simply ended things and then found someone else, so I wouldn’t believe her about anything she mentioned, she clearly wanted to hurt you, and that was a cheap shot.
Lots of penis too small posts today
NTA. A gift is given permanently, not loaned until the giver feels like it.
NTA. A gift is a gift. You can do whatever you like. And your cheating ex has no say whatsoever. She lost that right when she was with another dude.
NTA.
as soon as i gift something to someone it is their property do to with what they want / as they see fit. i have the right to be pissed / angry / sad / frustrated when they ‘mistread’ my gift but i have no say in this matter as it became THEIR property. so not mine anymore.
as for returning gifts at the end of a relationship, well, how about you, ex, start this exchange yourself? box up all op’s to you, give them back and then ask for your gifts back? a tacky move imo but you do you.
or are you just salty that the ‘thoughtfull’ gift isn’t there anymore so op will not automatically think of you every time he looks at / sees the watch? that op got rid of you? showed you that you are not a part of his life anymore, are just in the past?
op, imho, selling the watch and donating the money is a class a boss move i for myself fully aprove.
well done op, well done indeed.
NTA – No, you didn’t have to return it to her. It was a gift to you and after the breakup, that she caused btw, you can do whatever you like with now, you own the watch and not her. The entitled is strong with this one considering she cheated on you and wants a gift back. Double no.
NTA, you are a hero for that answer. She cheated because your not well endowed. I haven’t heard that excuse before. Find someone who will treat you with respect.
NTA. Each to their own.
I’ve often given gifts back but more out of spite….. like sending a message of “I don’t even want to have this because it reminds me of you”
NTA. Gifts aren’t meant to be “on the condition that you stay with me.” They’re meant for the person they’re given to and that person keeps them. It’s incredibly tacky and rude to expect a gift back after you gave it to someone. The one thing that should be returned if things don’t work out is an engagement ring. Every other type of gift is kept by the receiver.
“The right thing to do would to return all the gifts at the end of the relationship”
Never heard this one before. Did she return all your gifts? I would only return a gift at the end of a relationship if it was a particularly sentimental item for them (like a family heirloom) or engagement ring. A gift if a gift, you can’t start trying to dictate what the person you gifted to does with it once you have given it to them
NTA – Simple saying: whatever gift to you is yours to do whatever you like. But it does come with hurt feeling when the gift isn’t appreciated. But in your case, please sell away.
NTA, you aren’t expected to give a gift back to someone just because you break up and I’ve always found that to be a bonkers mentality lol. It was yours to keep, not to borrow.
And you did a nice thing with it, so extra NTA.
NTA.
She gave the watch, it belonged to you and only you after that. There is no expectation that birthday gifts should be returned after a relationship ends.
NTA, and I love what you did
NTA – your choice to return it to her, if you wished to, but also entirely your choice to sell it, and fair play of you to donate the money.
Also, it’s not “your fault” that the size of your manhood isn’t what she wants and she cheated. She would have cheated even if it hung past your kness. Good riddence mate.
NTA she gave it to you
It’s not hers anymore
You can do with it what you want
It’s not a heirloom she gave you while dating that you have to return
NTA – Yeah gifting then cheating and to top it off, she wants the gifts back. Fuck that mattress and live your life.
«It was a gift and mine to do with as I wanted. If I were to return all the things she gave me, she would be in a world of pain like the one she gifted me.” NTA your friends just suck
NTA. The watch was yours. Do with it what you want.
Did she return any of the gifts you gave her?
Nta. A gift is just that. Bought by someone else then legally given to you and becoming your property. You can do what you like with it, including selling it
Nta at all. Don’t let those fools gaslight you.
Once a gift is given to you, it’s yours to do with as you please. Selling and donating to an animal shelter was a nice thing to do. Your ex, in addition to being cruel and emasculating, doesn’t seem to understand how gift-giving works. NTA
NTA. Once one has gifted an item, the giver has no power or say over what happens.
Keep it, sell it, donate it, burn it, treasure it, return it. It’s up to you.
NTA.
Gifts aren’t leases and she cheated.
NTA. it’s a gift. doesn’t belong to her anymore
NTA It’s either a gift, or it isn’t.
NTA. Classic early relationship stuff. Gifts are optional to return; if you want to, go ahead, if not, you’re not obligated.
I don’t understand why it would be ok for you to still have it but not that you’ve sold it as in both cases, she doesn’t have it. Did she want to tag you, mark to her territory with a watch? Weird.
I hope you’re moving on and she’s not bothering you. Tell your friend that gifts are not loans, there isn’t a moral obligation to return them.
My penis is too small for her. We already know this is a bullshit post.
NTA. Does this “friend” you talked to know the shitty things your girlfriend said and did to you?
NTA a gift is a gift, you don’t give something to someone and expect it to be returned after a relationship turns sour. You’re also not obligated to be considerate of someone who you have a messy breakup with so all in all no one has a say except you.
NTA most people throw things from their ex in the bin or if it’s their ex’s clothes they wore like it was their own they may still wear it.
A gift is a gift so it’s utu what you do with it so I don’t think you did anything wrong and you even donated the money. To a good cause. Definitely NTA
NTA. Once you are given a gift, it’s yours to do with as you want. If the ex cared to have it back, she could have asked for it back, but you’d still be under no real or moral obligation to say yes. Cheaters forfeit the consideration of who they betrayed. But she didn’t actually hope to get it back – she expected you to still be wearing it. So her reaction is dishonest.
Also, don’t accept criticism from anyone you wouldn’t ask advice from. Cleary both she and the male former friend have skewed views of what is “right.” Her body-shaming you and saying her cheating is your fault reveals a shit-poor, toxic character, and is no different than guys who blame a girl’s weight/breast size/etc for their bad behavior.
NTA.
Your ex is still trying to fuck with your mind.
Tell her to look up the definition of *gift*, and to fuck off from there.
nta.
the idea that gifts should be given back after a relationship is materialistic and petty. the only exception to this that i can possibly think of is an item of sentimental value that they originally owned themselves. the reason it is a gift is because it is something that the person is giving to you to use how you will see fit. i think the conversation of whether you will want to use evey gift you’ve received from a past relationship is different, as some things have different emotional value than others. i have plenty of gifts i still use, and some i just have put any because it feels too personal to use them.
this is all without mentioning the fact that you did this in light of a terrible end to the relationship. how can she expect so much respect from you when she herself has shown you so little? she had no respect for you as a person, so you have no obligation to show whatever type of respect she believes she’ll get out of getting that watch back. it’s just a bid for power from her.
This story is bonkers, OP, and its your only post.
I don’t believe a word of it.