#TrashCanDrama: AITA for tossing my mom’s food in the trash in front of her?
Hey everyone, I need your help settling a little family drama. So, here’s the scoop: I’ve been on a journey to overcome my eating disorders, and lately, I’ve been feeling pretty good about my progress.
But then, my mom decided to make a little joke about my eating habits while she was baking a cake. It hit a nerve, and in a fit of anger, I threw my meal in the trash and stormed off to my room.
Now, my family is calling me a drama queen, and I feel like I’ve disrespected my mom. But honestly, I can’t even think about eating right now.
So, what do you think? Was I out of line, or did my mom push me too far? Cast your vote and let me know your thoughts. #FamilyDrama #MomJokes #FoodFight 🗑️🍰🤷🍽️
Definitely NTA… Therapy… Therapy for everyone.
NTA. Truly what she said she knows it was meant to insult you, not to help you. She pretty much was implying you shouldn’t be eating then and there. Then when you trashed it, she gets into a snit. Where exactly is the favor?
NTA. Your mom and your brother as toxic AF and you should be finding safe space away from them. They are not helping you.
you can’t NOT believe in eating disorders! People die from them – it’s on the news. Karen Carpenter died of anorexia and bulimia. (you’re too young to know who that is but your mom might.)
Eating disorder or not, too fat or too skinny – your mother‘s input was unnecessary and harmful and kind of dickish. obviously I can’t tell you not to feel bad or defeated or like you’ve just been pushed all the way back to the starting line, but don’t!
I mean, clearly your mother hasn’t been helping or supporting you all along, and you still made progress. So don’t let her into your head if possible. Just keep up the good work you were doing and stay healthy. You’re almost old enough to move out of there anyway.
NTA. That is not the way for a mother to behave in any circumstance. It’s cruel and unnecessary. I’m so sorry you don’t have the support you need.
NTA. Plan your escape from that toxic hell pit now and leave as soon as you turn 18.
NTA at all!!
You actually showed quite some restraint there. I would have thrown it into her face!
NTA. Not at all. Your Mum is not supportive, understanding or being a good Mum. I’m sorry you’re living like this.
I’d like you to speak to a GP or someone at school/college, maybe they can talk to her because this is abusive. But I don’t know your situation and sometimes parents can lash out at children who do this, so keep yourself safe.
Just know you’re not the one in the wrong, she is and so are the rest of your family for staying quiet.
NTA and going forward, I would grey rock your mom and brother until you can leave. It sounds like they are getting off on your reactions to them. Having zero reaction will cause them to get less pleasure from baiting you and they will lose interest.
NTA. Your mom sounds awful. You say she’s 52…I wonder if she’s menopausal yet. If she is, she’s going to be in for a rude awakening re: weight gain and control!
I’m sorry you’re living with such assholes – do you have a more sympathetic relative who might give you a safe escape?
Sweetie, you’re NTA. The real A here is your mom, if I’m being honest. It should be her whose accommodating her daughter’s needs and wants. You shouldn’t have to suffer just because she doesn’t believe they “aren’t true.”
And plus, that’s an awful thing of her to say. She says you’re doing a “bad job” and then shames you for doing EXACTLY what she said? That’s some bull right there.
It doesn’t really matter if it was a joke or not. If they don’t realize what they did wrong and don’t learn to accept the fact you have an eating disorder, then they truly are bad people. They don’t deserve you, and you shouldn’t lose yourself as well as all your well earned hardwork (which you got by YOURSELF) all because of them.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Please don’t lose track of your progress and stay the course. Be proud of how far you have come. I know how easy it is for comments to throw me off my shit so stay present as much as you possibly can. Hugs.
NTA
Don’t let them get to you.
If you have found your way to eat healthy, just stick to it. I know these comments hurt. But the best revenge you can have is to be successful.
One step back does not mean that six months of work don’t matter. Tomorrow is a new day (and a great day to eat breakfast 😉) guilt that you’re “not healing fast enough”, shame at a relapse or backslide, those are just as much your enemy as guilt or shame over your weight. **You did nothing wrong** to extract yourself from an unbearable situation like that. You were being attacked, so you left.
I agree with another commenter that grey rock is the way forward here, any time she starts up it’s “I’m sorry you feel that way”.
As to disrespect, she can have respect when she’s earned it and not before.
NTA. That wasn’t a joke. She sees you losing weight and she’s trying to sabotage you. Don’t let her. You won’t live with her forever but you have to live with yourself forever. Do what you need to do for you.
NTA, believe in yourself only. If at the end of the you feel good, healthy and happy then you know you did good. Your eating well. Everyone has different nutritional requirements and eating habits. As long as you remain healthy and feel good about yourself its whatever.
NTA Family is the worst! Don’t let your mom push you off a cliff. Keep doing what’s best for you. So sorry you don’t have a supportive mom. Stay strong!
I hope you realize that your mother and your brother are the reason you have an ED. When the people who are supposed to love us unconditionally tell us that we’re bad, we internalize it. We start telling ourselves we’re bad. Comments like that are fuel for the fire.
Leave when you can. And cut contact. Your mother is toxic.
NTA
NTA
That kind of jab is not a joke, even if it’s calculated to sound funny to someone else. It’s a deliberate, callous, hurtful thing that people try to pass off as a joke when they’re called out on it. Don’t tell yourself it’s you being too sensitive. You’re doing her work for her.
NTA. No wonder you have an eating disorder, anyone would living in such a toxic environment. Two adults bullying a child, they should be ashamed of themselves.
It was not just a joke. It was a cruel dig at you. She is deliberately undermining your progress. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But you are NTA. I hope you can find a way to not allow her to have that power over you.
Your mother is toxic and disgusting. Your brother is no better. She is undeserving of your respect. Keep working on yourself.
Pro Tip for your healing and weight journey: When you turn 18, you can easily shed over 300 pounds of dead weight by removing these 2 assholes from your life. NTA