#FamilyDrama #PetOwnership #ResponsibleDogParenting
Addressing the Problem:
Are you grappling with the complex dynamics of pet ownership within your family? It can be tough to navigate the boundaries when it comes to taking care of animals, especially when family members are involved. In a recent Reddit post, a user shared their dilemma about adopting their mother-in-law’s three dogs after she decided to give them up. However, tensions arose when the user asserted their ownership over the dogs, leading to conflicts within the family.
Practical Solutions:
1. Establish Clear Boundaries:
- Communicate openly and assertively with family members about the responsibilities and ownership of the dogs.
- Set clear boundaries to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts in the future.
- Ensure that all legal documentation, such as insurance, microchips, and veterinary records, reflect the new ownership.
2. Prioritize the Wellbeing of the Dogs:
- Invest time and effort into training and caring for the dogs to improve their behavior and overall wellbeing.
- Consult with professional trainers or veterinarians if needed to address any health or behavioral issues.
- Create a safe and nurturing environment for the dogs to thrive in their new home.
3. Seek Support from Your Partner:
- Collaborate with your partner to present a united front when dealing with family members regarding the dogs.
- Discuss any concerns or conflicts that arise and support each other in making decisions that prioritize the dogs’ welfare.
- Stay true to your values and convictions as responsible pet owners, even in the face of criticism or opposition.
Remember, owning a pet comes with a great deal of responsibility and dedication. By prioritizing the wellbeing of the dogs and maintaining clear boundaries with family members, you can navigate challenging situations and ensure a positive environment for your furry companions. Stay true to your values and convictions as responsible pet owners, and prioritize the happiness and health of your beloved pets above all else.
NTA but if her relationship goes south she’s totally going to try to take the dogs back so I hope everything is transferred over to you for sure. Better double check everything!
She’s got a nerve surrendering dogs after nine years of ownership and then claiming to be their ‘mommy’! Some nerve indeed!
NTA – she ditched her pups after years of neglect. She never had the right to call herself “mummy”.
NTA
NTA, although I think just an eye roll would have been sufficient. The dogs were probably excited to see her since they lived with her most of their lives. It’s irrelevant that she calls herself their “mummy” because at the end of the day she goes home and the dogs stay with you. You turned an awkward comment into a mini-war. Choose your battles better.
Kind of f’d up and also sweet to be fighting over who loves the dogs more.
Bless you for taking in those dogs. Your mil has a lot of nerve. NTA.
She lost her right to be “mummy” the second she decided to give up her dogs just because her boyfriend hated them. If my boyfriend hated my pets – he would soon be EX boyfriend! Be careful, if her boyfriend dumps her, she’ll probably be looking to get those dogs back. Good thing you changed everything to your name.
She abandoned her babies for a guy and you adopted them in every way possible. NTA
NTA She chose her bedmate over her family of 9 years. She would have let them go to the pound. She deserves no respect and not the love the animals still give her because they don’t know any better. If they are hers, then she should pay for that vet bill, all their food, etc etc etc
NTA
Op, I’m glad you got everything changed over to your name, I think there was another story on her a few months ago with a similar issue.
The daughter took in her mother’s dog, the dog was overweight and not trained, I think the parents had a history of being bad dog owners . The daughter trained the dog and got his weight down. But once the dog was in better condition the mom started making noises about taking her dog back.
Op, I would have the her son contact her and reiterate that the dogs were given up and have a new home and new parents.
NTA. Send her the vet bills, training, etc. and tell her you want to be compensated for them if they’re not your dogs. Watch how fast she changes her tune.
NTA
Perhaps it’s time to make it official, give her 3 options. 1- she signs a document making it clear that she is releasing all rights to the dogs to you. 2- she take them back and reimburse you for all expenses related to the dogs, food, insurance, vet bills, etc 3- she start paying a border fee and reimburse you for all expenses.
Having to rehome a pet to move can come from circumstances you know nothing about, to say she abandoned them is surprisingly cruel. I had to make that decision during my own move, and it was hard.
I ended up finding a place that would let me have my cat, but rent was an arm and a leg. It’s a high cost of living area, landlord’s market (aka, animal haters). I needed somewhere for my cat to stay while I got the new place sorted out, I asked my mother to take care of him for a week and we’d arrange his transport with me.
She had him 2 days and rehomed him and said nothing until I called at the end of the week to make final arrangements.
Do not leave this woman alone with your dogs, not ever. Maybe apologize for being harsh, that does kind of make you an AH, but be firm that you’re their master now and not her. You pay their bills, feed them, manage their care. She’s so lucky to be able to visit them as she does, if she’d had to adopt them elsewhere she’d never see them again.
I’d give her a refresher of that absolute privilege. I’ll never see my fur baby again. Maybe it’s the resentment speaking but… Don’t trust her.
They are your dogs now. You rescued them from being put in a shelter.
And it seems that you have done more work in 2 months than your negligent mother did in 9 years so….
NTA
They are yours now. Im curious though, you say MIL, SIL, and boyfriend…one of these things is not like the other.
NTA but, like, the dogs can’t understand her. I would (like to think I) would have just corrected her that all he needed was medical care and moved on.
NTA
So many crazy people in the world ….
Your MIL gave you the dogs, choosing to live with her BF over caring for those dogs she had for 9 years. Either “Mummy” abandoned her babies or she rehomed them. Either way, they are now yours.
Apparently not a popular opinion, but yeah YTA. You are factually correct about what you said, but the way you said it was combatative and unnecessary which and is what makes YTA. Shoulda bit your tongue and said nothing
NTA. But that’s a lot of drama resulting from one stupid comment from your MIL. Personally, I think it would’ve been better to just ignore that comment and only address it if it got more serious.
If they’re not your dogs she owes you for all vet visits, training, plus a daily boarding fee for the care you’ve put into them.
NTA
NTA
She wants it both ways but she can’t have it.
NTA
What if the dogs *had* gone to a shelter and ended up adopted by a total stranger? Would MIL still think she was “mummy” and the new person not?
NTA
If you wanted to separate me from my dog you would have to pry her from my cold dead hands!!! What kind of “mummy” would send her babies to a fucking dog pound because she’s selected a new boyfriend who doesn’t like them? Sickening, she’s the entitled one
Try to condemn you for thinking they’re your dogs now??? But they are?? What in the mental gymnastics does she think this is? Nta
NTA – If they aren’t yours, it looks like you just saved a bunch of money on vet bills! Mention to them that they need to repay you back for all the vet bills, the food you’ve bought, the time you spent training and for room and board for a dog that isn’t yours. I bet that changes their tune quickly.
NTA
She walked away from those dogs and chose her boyfriend over the pets she had for 9 years and apparently never tried to train. She’s the asshole here.
NTA. She abandoned those dogs, she’s a horrible owner. She should’ve gotten rid of that damn bf instead of the dogs! She chose that thing over the dogs she’s had for 9 years you say? That’s horrible! She abandoned them, they’re fully 100% yours!
NTA. She was ready to leave them in a shelter, where they possibly could have ended up being put down, for a man. Also, vet bills and microchips establish that the dogs are legally yours. If she wanted to be their “mummy” she should have been more dedicated to them.
NTA 100%
If someone can’t be bothered with accountability and taking care of their responsibilities, then they can shut their trash mouth about “taking credit” for anything.
“Mummy? You must mean me, right? Then I agree”
Also just to pile on. But how fucking stupid, “it wasn’t a real medical situation, just a magical fake one that my presence has fixed!”
Sorry it’s ranty, it’s a total projection for a situation I’m in, to be fair lol
NTA
I’m pretty sure would say you’re n ta even if you were because I hate your MIL. She was going to take her dogs of 9 years to a shelter for a fucking man. Those are your dogs and I wouldn’t let her or her daughters in my home unless I was in it too.
NTA. So if they did dump them at a shelter and they were adopted, would they call up the new owners and tell them they’re entitled? If you asked her to cover some of the money you’ve spent on the dogs these last couple of months, would she?
Doubtful. They are AHs and since they’re your bf’s crummy family, I’d mute or block them and let him deal with them.
“she lost the right to refer to herself as his mummy when she abandoned them and gave up all responsibility.” Truth. “he called me entitled for thinking they were my dogs now.” They ARE your dogs not. It’s not your fault she would get rid of THREE family members she had for NINE years for a new boyfriend. NTA. She can kick rocks. She put herself in this situation and has no one else to blame for it.
You are a good person. Do I really need to tell you NTA? The former owner of those dogs (your MIL) gave up on them. You took them in. It does not matter if it was you or some stranger, but they are not hers anymore. Those dogs belong to you now – both in case of responsibility and attachment. And it sounds like you are providing them with a good and loving home. If they were really her babies she would have chosen them (the dogs), which she didn’t. But you did. You and your partner did. Your MIL can f right off. You are right in this case – and a good person. Keep doing what you do.
NTA old broad can go sit on a pole and stfu tbh
Id be livid as well
NTA
“they’re not your dogs”
Let’s see the dogs have…
1: been micro chipped in your name
2: been seen the vets under your name
3: legal documentation that they are YOUR dogs
They’re your dogs. Simple as that
NTA. They were her dogs until she abandonned them, now they are yours. You could have sweetly pointed out to her that she is now Grandma.
Kudos to you for taking in 3 senior, badly trained and cared for dogs. It is likely they would have been put down if you had not taken them in.
There is a special place in hell for people who abandon their pets.
NTA – your mil lost the rights to those dogs when she chose a man over them and let them go. You and your husband are right, they are your dogs in every aspect and I’m glad they went to more responsible owners!!
What kind of mummy abandons her fur babies after 9 years?
NTA she lost her parental rights when she gave them up for adoption. Like seriously after 9 years she hiffed them out the door for to be with her boyfriend and still expects that she is their whole world. Animals feel abandonment just like people. Yes they are lucky that you guys took them in and already had a relationship with them but they would have been confused and upset with their new life before they realised hiw much more loved they are with you.
NTA. They’re your dogs now. She gave up that title
NTA MIL decided that after nine years she didn’t want her dogs anymore when she moved in with her boyfriend. When you adopted them they became YOUR dogs just as they would have if they had been adopted by anybody else. Owning them for nine years and then abandoning them doesn’t qualify as “mummy.” Quite frankly the fact that she and your 2 SILs are sending you messages calling you “entitled” is embarrassing for them-they’re the ones who are entitled.
NTA
You’re right – she abandoned the dogs, she is now nothing in relation to them.
Your SIL’s opinion on the matter is irrelevant. They can fuck right off, as this is none of their business.
NTA she’s the one being entitled.