#FamilyDrama #SisterStruggles #BrothersGirlfriendTrouble
Hey there! 😊 Dealing with family dynamics can be tough, especially when it comes to your siblings and their significant others. In the case of this situation where you feel like your brother’s girlfriend is trying to get rid of you, it’s important to address the issue with care and consideration. Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help you navigate through this challenging situation:
Understanding the Root of the Problem:
– It’s natural to feel hurt and confused when you sense that someone close to you may be trying to push you away. In this case, it seems like your brother’s girlfriend Julie has expressed a desire for you to live with your mother when they start their own family.
– Communication is key in situations like these. Have an open and honest conversation with your brother to understand his perspective and reasoning behind the decision. Express your feelings and concerns in a calm and respectful manner to create a space for dialogue.
Nurturing Relationships:
– Building a positive relationship with your brother’s girlfriend, Julie, can help alleviate tensions and misunderstandings. Try to find common ground and engage in activities together to foster a sense of unity within the family.
– Remember that it’s normal for relationships to evolve and change, especially as new family dynamics come into play. Embrace these changes with an open mind and a willingness to adapt to new circumstances.
Seeking Support:
– It’s essential to have a support system in times of uncertainty and conflict. Reach out to trusted family members, friends, or a counselor for guidance and emotional support.
– Talking to a neutral third party can provide a fresh perspective on the situation and offer valuable insights on how to navigate through challenging family dynamics.
Self-Care and Emotional Wellness:
– Take care of yourself during times of stress and uncertainty. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or practicing mindfulness and self-care techniques.
– Remember that your emotions are valid, and it’s okay to express your feelings in a healthy and constructive manner. Allow yourself to process your emotions and seek outlets for release, such as journaling, art, or exercise.
In conclusion, the key to resolving conflicts within the family lies in open communication, empathy, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives. By approaching the situation with patience, compassion, and a desire for mutual understanding, you can work towards finding a resolution that honors the well-being of everyone involved.
Stay strong and remember that you deserve to be heard and valued in your family dynamics. 💖 #FamilyLove #SiblingSupport
NTA
I would like to add though, have you stopped to consider maybe she’s not the one who wants you gone, and your brother is just shifting the blame onto her?
Either way, I’d check to see if it’s possible you could stay with your aunt, or even a friends family if you’re not wanting to leave the country.
OP, I’m going to start off by saying what your parents have done to you AND your brother isn’t okay. They abandoned you and him and have done what is called parenttification. This means your brother was forced to be the parent. It’s not okay at all. Your brother had to put his own life on hold because of you (at no fault of your own). It is not your fault, but your brother needs to focus on his own life and your mother needs to start being a mother again.
Your brother and Julie aren’t doing anything wrong by wanting to move forward with their lives. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you and you are blaming Julie and using her as a scapegoat. Maybe your brother wants you gone. Maybe your mom does want you back. The whole thing…..It’s not okay. You need to hear them out with what is going on. And you need to understand you’re 15 years old so a lot of stuff is going on in your mind and body that will make things ten times more dramatic and worse. You didn’t hear them out and give them a chance. Your brother has had to give up his life to raise you for a number of years. This way of living is not sustainable in the long run for him and yeah it may be selfish but honestly to an extent i don’t blame your brother either.
Well, you’re a teen and you’re scared and your feelings are hurt. Your reaction is pretty predictable, so you’re definitely NTA for it. However, yelling about it probably wasn’t the best way to communicate about it. Your brother and his girlfriend are at the point where they want to start their own lives. He has raised you for the last seven years and it sounds like he’s done a pretty good job of doing it despite it not really being his responsibility. It’s hard to call him TA for being ready to move on, but making arrangements behind your back is really shady. He’s not considering how disruptive it will be to you and giving you any input into it at all. Overall, I would give this an ESH with specific YTA to your parents for not taking responsibility for you and putting the burden on your brother.
NTA. You poor kid! Nobody should be treated this way by family. Can you live with your aunt? If not, talk to your school counselor immediately. You may need to get CPS involved and go to a foster home. I know that might be frightening, but it would be better than moving to a foreign country with a mom who abandoned you. Finally, stand your ground. If you don’t want to go to Korea, they cannot force you to get on the plane.
First off, I’m sorry for this situation. I feel for you.
Secondly, INFO: Has Julie actually indicated that she doesn’t like you? Has she been mean to you?
From your post, it sounds like they just want to get their own place, which is completely understandable as a couple.
NTA and I wish I could give you a huge hug. You’ve been failed by literally every adult who was supposed to be there for you.
Is there another family member you could stay with?
NTA. You have had a lot of betrayal in your young life and here you have another. Your brother and his girlfriend at not bad people for wanting to have a life without caring for a teenager, but the way they have gone about it is really horrible.
1) Go to your school counselor and talk to him/her about your situation. Your teachers also need to know that you are going through this difficult time. There may be special programs that you could apply for especially if you are a good student. There is one here in Texas where you actually live on campus at a state university for your junior and senior year. You do not have the freedom of a college student and some kids say that it is more restrictive than being at home with your parents. However, it is really an amazing program for college bound students. Your state may have something similar.
2) Talk to your aunt about the possibility of moving in with her. You are only three years away until college. She might be willing to help out given the circumstances.
3) Let your friends know what’s going on. One of their parents may be willing to step up and help. A friend of mine took in her son’s friend for his senior year as the kid’s mother was moving out of the area and his father didn’t want him. Sad situation, but the boy got to spend a year seeing what a loving family looked like. All the best to you sweet girl!
NTA. Your parents are the real enemy, not Julie.
NAH – OP, your parents sound like incredibly selfish people who made their 18 year old child a parent of his sibling. Additionally, I imagine he was already taking on a parenting role for you before then if your parents were the type to be okay abandoning you like that. So he hasn’t had a life or typical teen/young adult experiences due to parentification.
This isn’t your fault and of course you don’t want to go to a different country to live with someone you haven’t seen in 7 years and who abandoned you so easily. Of course you’re terrified and upset. I’m so sorry you’ve had to live and feel like this for so long.
Additionally, now that your brother has a chance to start his own life, it’s understandable that his gf wants to do so without another housemate. I think it’s reasonable for your brother to consider the two of you a package deal until you’re old enough to go out on your own, but maybe he’s working through all of that. You yelling at his gf and acting like a sullen teen isn’t going to help matters.
Here are some ideas: (1) talk to your bf like an adult. Apologize to him for losing your temper and offer to apologize to his gf, too. Tell him you’re hurt and scared and so lashed out. Talk to him about his concerns. Could the three of you establish rules for living that may help gf be okay with you sticking around until you can get your own place? Maybe the idea of help with future babies is a benefit?
(2) consider talking to your aunt. Is there a chance you could live with them? Obviously I don’t know anything about your relationships or possibilities, but life is about embracing change, so don’t waste your energy and damage important relationships by fighting, but figure out a way forward that works for everyone. I wish you the very best of luck.
NTA
You’re young and scared and that’s okay. Honestly I’m disgusted with your parents as they have totally abandoned both of you. Is that a reason for your brother to abandon you as well tho?
I can’t wrap my head around him sending you off. I understand he’s trying to move on with his life but I would never marry someone who is not going to stand by my family.
Both your parents and brother are being unfair to you in this situation. Playing hot potato with someone’s life is messed up
Mom and dad are massive, massive AHs as they abandoned their child. All others are NTA and victims of the situation. I really feel sorry for OP.
Your parents are evil garbage. Your brother could have been more considerate, but he should have never been put in this situation either
Your parents are just straight evil and deserve the absolute worst for this
It’s understandable that your brother finally wants a place of his own. Your entire situation is the fault of your parents. Try talking with a school counselor about options for your living arrangements. There might be a solution available you’re not aware of.
I understand you not wanting to move to another country and talking with an adult about other options might be the way to go.
So sorry,cant you stay with your cousin?update us please
NAH.Â
I’m sorry this is happening to you but your parents are the ones to blame here. Your brother has had to put his life on hold for you, which is 100% NOT your fault, but it’s not fair to him, either. I don’t think Julie’s to blame, either. It sucks for all three of you.Â
I think a family meeting is in order. Is there another relative who can take you in until you leave for college?
I feel bad for the kid. First her parents want nothing to do with her. Now her brother doesn’t want her either. From her perspective, she’s been abandoned by everyone she loved. And she’s still a kid. Old enough to see that writing on the wall, but not old enough to fend for herself. That’s gotta take a toll.
NTA, but you didn’t do any favors to support your case.
You didn’t say what country you’re in, but if you’re in the US look into emancipation. Many places you can do it at 16. If you are independent enough, it is probably a better option than going to a foreign country. Do you even speak Korean?
Probably going to get wrecked for this one but I think your brother is a major asshole. Not nearly as much as your parents but still an asshole. He did a really good thing raising you and taking you in. But now that things are inconvenient for him he wants you to go? That’s not what you do to family. He made a commitment and is obligated to follow through on his responsibilities that he put on himself. You don’t just stop because you want to move on with your life. Besides in 3 years you will be an adult, that’s not a long time. It would be dumb to try and restart in Korea.
Im sorry kiddo. Youre not the asshole here. Its messed up you have to be tossed around like this. You deserve better
Oh hun I’m so sorry.
This is an awful position for you all to be in and is absolutely not your fault.
You have done nothing wrong, but your fight or flight responses were activated because you don’t feel safe or secure.
I wish I could say something helpful or useful, but know that this isn’t your fault. I hope you can talk honestly with your brother about how you all feel. It truly isn’t fair that he was looking after you at such a young age, but that isn’t your fault AT ALL.
NTA – it’s sounds like she is saying I will
Not do xyz with you u til you sister is gone because she is not your responsibility.
He’s stupid enough to listen to her.
You should write down your feelings good and bad and when you can have a talk with him. You will also need to listen to him.
See if you can find someone else to live with. It might be the end of your relationship with you brother but it nought be the best due to him allowing this to happen. No one should push an under age sibling out just to be self. He chose to take you in and she chose to date him knowing the situation.
Nah I’m going against the grain here. If this was a Father choosing his new woman over his kid you would all be having a fucking field day. He took responsibility for his sister and now wants to ship her off? No brother of mine would ever do this.
Her parents already let her feel unwanted and now him. He can have a fucking life with a sister around ffs. Sorry OP, I hope you grow up successful and truly happy and you can say fuck the lot of them.
I just don’t get all these people saying that the brother and the gf are not at fault.Going to a different country to a so called mother that abandoned you 7 years ago and you don’t talk to is a huge change A trauma even.There are middle ways not the atomic option of just sending her away.She is a human being not a parcel to be passed around .NTA
I’m saying NTA because the gf has some blame in this BUt mainly…who thinks it is a good idea to make a teenager leave the US and go to another country? So you have any idea why schools are like in Korea? Can OP even speak Korean? I would see if she could stay with the Aunt for a few years, not be thrown into another completely different world.
Am I the only one thinking Julie is already pregnant? They don’t know what to do, may be panicking and scrambling for a solution. This just somehow seems rushed if the teenager potentially could be out of the house in 2-3 years.
INFO: Who has custody of you? You’re underage so someone has custody of you. If your bother has custody of you, then he CANNOT ship you off to your mother. That is HIGHLY illegal and breaking federal law. He could catch so many charges. Even if he wants to give up custody, there’s a huge process to it. And CPS will fight tooth and nail to get him to keep you. It’s not as simple as they are making it out to be. So you might want to tell a guidance counselor or someone about this before your bother finds himself facing human trafficing and your mom is on the hook for international kidnapping.
Unless this is all fake.