#AITA #exgirlfriend #moneyissues #relationshipdrama #financialstress
Are you facing a situation where your ex-girlfriend is pressuring you to borrow money to give back a $500 loan she lent you for rent when you lost your job? 🤯 It can be incredibly frustrating and confusing when someone you once cared about demands repayment in such a pushy manner, especially when you are going through financial difficulties yourself. But fear not, there are practical solutions to navigate through this challenging situation without compromising your own well-being. Let’s delve into ways to handle this delicate scenario with grace and assertiveness.
### Assessing the Situation
Before diving into solutions, take a moment to understand the dynamics of the relationship and the context in which the loan was given. Were clear terms established regarding repayment? Did you also lend money to your ex-girlfriend, perhaps in larger amounts? It’s important to consider these aspects to gain a holistic view.
### Setting Boundaries
First and foremost, it’s essential to set firm boundaries with your ex-girlfriend. Clearly communicate your current financial situation and express that repaying the loan is a priority, but it may take some time. Emphasize the importance of mutual respect and understanding during this process.
### Exploring Alternative Options
If your ex-girlfriend continues to pressure you for repayment, explore alternative solutions that may alleviate the immediate financial burden. Consider reaching out to friends or family for a short-term loan or seek assistance from financial resources in your community.
### Moving Forward
As you navigate through this challenging situation, remember to prioritize your financial well-being and mental health. It’s okay to seek support from trusted individuals or professionals to help you cope with the stress and emotions that may arise.
### Reflecting on Growth
Ultimately, this experience can be a valuable lesson in setting boundaries, communication, and self-care. Take this opportunity to reflect on personal growth and consider how you can approach similar situations in the future with more confidence and resilience.
In conclusion, dealing with financial disputes in relationships can be draining and emotionally taxing. By approaching the situation with empathy, assertiveness, and a focus on self-care, you can navigate through this challenging time with grace and strength. Remember, your well-being is paramount, and it’s okay to prioritize yourself in difficult circumstances. Stay strong and trust in your ability to overcome this obstacle. 💪🌟
Yeah, don’t be petty with money you spent in the name of love. They won’t care.
Just tell her I’ll pay you first thing when I get my paycheck. Anything beyond that is unreasonable. Don’t even get into anymore arguments.
I mean you already gave her a timeline of when you’d pay her back and I’m assuming she agreed. NTA, I don’t see the point of including you spent thousands on her though, doesn’t really add to the story
You spending money on her is not the same as her loaning you money, if you both agreed it was a loan that you’d pay back. You spent thousands on her willingly so that’s just a cost you’ll have to bear, and it doesn’t offset the fact that you still owe her money – tbh its irrelevant.
That said, I think you’re NTA because she is aware of your situation and it’s frankly kinda mean to treat you like that. She’ll get the money when she gets it, just don’t message her until then.
She might be struggling to survive too, hence her being too eager to get the money. Life’s a cruel bitch to most people.
Don’t engage, give her her money back if that’s what you agreed, don’t bring emotion and whataboutism into the conversation, tell her on x date you’ll give her x and then the rest when you can, none of the other shit she does matters, they are her choices.
Info: did you outline your expected payback date with her when she lent you the money? As in “thanks for lending me 500, I’ll get it back to you from my first salary of the new job I just got”?
If the above is the case, then she’s just gonna have to grit and bear it. However! I’d still say ESH, because of your reply. The money you spent on her were gifts to her while you were together. You weren’t lending her that money, nor were you “subscribed” to the relationship by offering tithes to the gf gods. Painting it as if she owes you for all the stuff you got her is pretty bullshit.
Boiling it down – be the bigger man here. You shouldn’t have replied with the petty comment and unfair accusations that she somehow owes you. However, it is equally unfair for her to lend you money in a time of need and then suddenly expect it back before a reasonable time.
If she lent it to you, then pay it back. The thousands you spent on her were not lent to her, so she doesn’t need to pay you back for that.
As much as it might suck, money spent on her was money you elected to spend knowing it was never coming back. You borrowed with the intent of paying back.
Don’t mix the two up. Going down that path just sullies you and your reputation.
All that said, you’ve put forth when you can pay her back. Pay her back promptly according to the timeline you gave. If you can not, be big enough to talk it through with her and gain agreement on another time. You losing your job wasn’t her problem any more than her not taking money from her father is yours.
Your debts are yours. You agreed to them. Honor your obligations.
If you lent money off her it’s only fair to pay her back. It’s a loan. They need paid back.
NTA although I wouldn’t go down the path of equating gifts in a relationship to loaned money.
Just stop responding to her at all, pay her back when you get the $500 and be done with it.
INFO: What were the terms of the agreement for the loan?
The money you spent on her is irrelevant
Pay her back.
Don’t spend anymore on her.
You gave her a reasonable timeframe. If U lent her money before and she didnt pay U back, remand her that U will be deducting that loan from 500. Just dont mention money U spent on her, its not resonable to do that, but I see why U did. She was to pushy
your comments are a bit confusing, but if you have also loaned her money in the past, then solution is really easy.
“You still owe me $XXX from Y. Consider our debts evened out.”
Or if you’ve loaned her more than she’s asking, then ask for the extra back too lol.
I’m unable to render a judgment because this is fucking unreadable
seems like it’s your fault that you spend thousands on your ex-gf?
Well technically you lend her the money so pay her back when you get your salary and move on.
Tbh I find her petty if you in general have paid for everything even if you did it out of love with no strings attached. I would say there is not much team spirit.
When my ex and I broke up and he asked me to repay the $400 he’d lent me, I reminded him he hadn’t paid me any bills for months while living with me rent free, added up his total, did the maths and told him that less his $400, he actually owed me over $600. He didn’t ask for his money again. I suggest you do the same.
Gifts are irrelevant – they shouldn’t come with strings attached.
INFO – what was the condition / terms of the loan in regards to repayment?
INFO: When you say you “spent thousands on” her when you were dating, what exactly did you spend that money on? I saw in a comment that you said you gave her money but you also specifically stated that you did not expect it back, which means it’s a gift. Is that the case with most of the money or were there any points where you said “I am lending you X and I expect you to pay it back”?
YTA, pay what you owe.
Pay her back and be done with her. You took a loan, dont try to obfuscate it with “money spent”.
I understand the sentiment especially when coupled with the negative feelings a bad break up involves. But from an objective point of view there is a big difference between *spending* money to treat your partner and *lending* money. I think it’s a mistake to conflate the two.
But beyond that, you can’t pay her what you don’t have. Tell her you don’t have the option of borrowing but that you’ll pay her in full when you get your paycheck and that she’ll just have to live with that.
NTA. She never paid you back on money loaned either. I’m sure you gave her some jewelry, she can sell it.
Never lend money thinking it will be easy to get back. Both of you have learned a lesson. Time to just call it even, block, and move on.
NTA. just four letters W A I T then cut off communication until you have the funds. I have more to contribute but manners prevent me from saying it.
I’m seeing alot of misconceptions and arguements about sex in the replies. let me clear some things up.
1. I did lend her money before. much more than that 500. and it was made on a premise of “hey babe? could you lend me X for Y reason? I’ll pay it back later” but yet again, she never did, nor did I really care cuz I didn’t know there were such rules in relationships where 2 people love one another.
2. it doesn’t matter what happened, im still paying her back. I’m just upset that she’s pressuring me when times are tough knowing how bad my current situation is, without having any compassion due to everything we’ve been through together and everything I’ve done for her. that’s all I meant. but im still paying her back.